America's Ballroom Challenge 2007 -- Week 1

Ben Ermis & Shalene Archer-Ermis won the American Smooth round of America's Ballroom Challenge to become the first couple in the finals.

This first week featured the American Smooth category, which includes dances like the Waltz, Tango, Fox Trot, and Viennese Waltz. While the names of the dances may be the same, if you've only seen these dances on Dancing with the Stars, these performances looked very different.

DwtS features the same dances done in the International Standard style -- partners in close contact with infrequent separations. American Smooth is a more open style of dancing more akin to Broadway-style dancing, where partners may dance along side one another instead of in a closed hold.

It makes for very dramatic and energetic performances. Still, it's hard not to hear the voice of Len Goodman screaming about couples breaking hold.

Six couples competed in the American Smooth Category: Ben Ermis & Shalene Archer-Ermis, Kostadin Bidjourov & Carrie Babcock, Steven Dougherty & Eulia Baranovsky, Mazen Hamza & Irina Sarukhanyan, Tomasz Mielnicki & J.T. Damalas, and David Weise & Valentina Weise.

During the first round of competition, all six couples took the floor at the same time and danced to the four above mentioned dances. None of the couples knows in advance what music they'll be dancing to, so they must create their routine as they go -- while simultaneously trying to avoid crashing into the other dancers.

Couples are scored in each dance, and the pair with the lowest overall score wins the group dance round. In this case, Ben Ermis & Shalene Archer-Ermis took the victory.

The second round consists of showdances -- routines couples have prepared in advance to their own music, designed to convey a story. A winner is selected in this round as well.

Some of the highlights from the Week One showdances included a goth/punk Tango from Tomasz Mielnicki & J.T. Damalas, a classic Fox Trot from Ben Ermis & Shalene Archer-Ermis, and a martial arts-inspired routine from Mazen Hamza & Irina Sarukhanyan.

A third place finish in the showdance round, combined with their first place in the group round, earned Ben and Shalene Ermis the overall victory in the American Smooth category. The win was of special significance to the Ermis' as this event was their last before retiring from competitive dancing.

America's Ballroom Challenge Is Back

Public broadcasting's contribution to ballroom dancing on television returns for a second season.

America's Ballroom Challenge premiered last year, a reinvention of the perennial pledge-drive favorite Championship Ballroom Dancing. Both seasons of America's Ballroom Challenge were filmed at The Ohio Star Ball, one of the most prestigious ballroom competitions in America.

This season, the show's format changes from two episodes to five hour-long episodes. One hour is devoted to each of the featured dance styles -- American Smooth, American Rhythm, International Standard, and International Latin -- before a final round of dancing to determine the overall winner.

Several of the professional dancers featured on Dancing with the Stars participated in the competition, including show regulars Tony Dovolani and Elena Grinenko.

America's Ballroom Challenge airs on Chicago's WTTW at 8 pm on Wednesday, January 31. Check PBS.org for your local listing.

To get in the mood for the new season, here's my favorite performance from last season.

Apprentice L.A. -- Episode 4

"Two chickens!" That was the only argument Marisa offered in her defense in the Apprentice boardroom. No wonder she was fired.

After Surya joined the woefully undermanned Team Arrow, Trump gave the teams the task of designing a new dish for the fast food chain, El Pollo Loco.

In keeping with the "crazy chicken" theme of the restaurant, Marisa wanted to promote Team Kinetic's pineapple and mango chicken bowl -- the "Paradise Pollo Bowl" -- by strategically positioning two people in chicken costumes on street corners. Her Kinetic teammates politely rejected the idea.

When her first idea didn't fly, Marisa suggested...two guys in chicken costumes, again. And again, the idea was rejected. It wasn't accepted after the third and fourth times she mentioned it, either.

Kinetic ended up losing the challenge because they relied on single sales from their restaurant, while Arrow managed a bulk sale of their own tortilla and chicken concoctions to the employees at a nearby car dealership.

But you can guess why Marisa thought her team lost.

In the boardroom, she kept interrupting everyone, including Trump, crying, "Two chickens! Two chickens!" Eventually her teammates just laughed at her, and even Trump's patience ran out.

Trump fired Marisa, but his customary, "That decision was very hard," statement rang more hollow than usual.

The Apprentice is off next week because the Chicago Bears will be busy winning Super Bowl XLI. In two weeks, the candidates try their hand at bee farming.

DwtS Offseason Update: 1-26-07

It was inevitable. Ian Ziering is rumored to be a part of the next season of Dancing with the Stars.

Season 4 Rumors
ABC announced that DwtS 4 will premiere on Monday, March 19 at 8 EST with a two-hour Performance Show. No one will be eliminated until after the second Performance Show on March 26. The first Results Show will be Tuesday, March 27 at 9 EST, which prevents a direct showdown with the American Idol performance show that night.

Singer Billy Ray Cyrus, boxer Laila Ali, and Beverly Hills 90210 star Ian Ziering are the latest celebs rumored to be a part of the cast of DwtS 4, joining boy-bander Joey Fatone. According to the article at TMZ, Sarah Ferguson has dropped out due to scheduling conflicts. Sharon and Kelly Osbourne were also supposedly cast but dropped out as well.

Tour News
Get the scoop on the Dancing with the Stars Tour from Cheryl Burke's video diary at People.com.

Appearances
If you've been dying to get up close and personal with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, he'll be leading a dance workshop at the Dance With Me studio in New Jersey on February 15. Email contact@dancewithmecorp.com for information.

Football players-turned-dancers Emmitt Smith and Jerry Rice are taking over a number of sitcoms on Monday, February 5. Both start the night on CBS, with Emmitt guesting on How I Met Your Mother at 8 EST, and Jerry on The Class at 8:30. Then Jerry moves over to the CW for an appearance on The Game at 9:30.

Beginning March 8, John O'Hurley takes on the role of King Arthur in a new Las Vegas production of the musical Spamalot through September 1.

Mario Lopez may be preparing to host the Miss America pageant on CMT on Monday, January 29 at 8 EST, but it's never too early to start thinking about Christmas. He and former teenage witch Melissa Joan Hart have been cast as the leads in the ABC Family movie Holiday in Handcuffs, which will air in December.

Thoughts on Beauty and the Geek 3

I followed the first two seasons of Beauty and the Geek because it was a charming, harmless show featuring my kind of people: geeks. But the third season is sorely lacking in charm.

In fact, this season reinforces the very stereotypes it intends to break. The cast confirms the perception that pretty women are intellectually uninterested, cliquish, and vindictive. And the nerds in their lives don't stand a chance.

All of the blonde women of this season ganged up on the non-blondes, who preferred studying for the challenges to socializing and lounging pool-side. When any of the brunettes tried to stand up to the blonde bullies, they were further humiliated and targeted with vengeful retribution.

Those of us who witnessed the same cliquish behavior in high school certainly don't need to relive it on television -- especially not when it comes from women in their mid-to-late twenties (Cecille, Erin, Nadia, and Megan are all 25 or older).

While this season has been dominated by the relationships between the women, the men have been bland and uninspiring. There's no one to root for because the men don't seem to be learning much about themselves or forging friendships with their partners.

I'm even inclined to believe that at least a couple of the geeks, specifically Niels and Nate, are frauds. While their interests are a little out there, they are not socially inept -- a necessary attribute of a true geek.

Niels is a PhD candidate too busy for an active social life; he's not a recluse. And, in his regular life, Nate is confident enough to play in a rock band and perform original stand-up comedy material.

What really gives Nate away is the verse he sang in the show's promos. His Star Wars-inspired band has a song with the following lyrics: "Han Solo can't help with my fate. He's still blind from the carbonate."

Any Star Wars fan worth his or her salt knows that Han Solo was frozen in carbonite, not carbonate. Nate is either only a casual fan of the series, or he took liberty with the Star Wars canon -- which, if you're a geek, you simply do not do.

After two seasons, it would be nearly impossible to cast the series with authentic bubble-headed babes (more sweet and naive than stupid and mean) and timid dweebs. Everyone applying for the show knows what is expected, and they all play up those attributes.

Beauty and the Geek was a nice show when it started, but it's run its course.

Apprentice L.A. -- Episode 3

Michelle was singled out as her team's bad apple last episode, and things didn't get any better for her this week. When it looked like she was sure to be fired, she took control of her destiny -- sort of -- and quit.

Kinetic's victory on the last task earned them an exemption from this episode's task. Instead of working, they spent the day lounging around a hotel pool, boozing it up and getting massages.

Since Kinetic was exempt, The Donald told Arrow they would split into two sub-teams and compete against each other in this week's task. Aaron and Michelle became the Project Managers (Aaron volunteered, while Michelle was volunteered by Trump) of the squads. Their task: arranging a double-decker bus tour of Los Angeles.

For some reason, Michelle selected Tim, Nicole, and Frank -- her most vocal detractors -- for her team. Aaron picked James and Stefani.

Aaron's team got to work quickly, selecting "Famous Places, Beautiful Faces" as their theme, and running with James's idea to hire eight Laker Girls to sign autographs for customers waiting in line.

Michelle suggested the theme "A Day in the Life of the Rich & Famous," qualifying that she'd only go with the theme if her teammates were 100% supportive. After repeated assurances from Frank, they were on their way.

Tim and Michelle hopped in a van and drove all over Hollywood and Beverly Hills looking for possible tour highlights, only to realize that most of Hollywood is unattractive and Beverly Hills is boring. By evening, Michelle was begging Tim to just tell her what to do.

As Aaron's team snoozed, Michelle's worked all night, without any real purpose or direction. Yet Michelle was upset when Nicole decided to take an hour nap, rather than sit in front of a laptop doing nothing.

Sleep proved to be a critical factor in team performance on the tour. Tour host James was actually a little too well rested, as he rambled manically on the top deck. At first he was high on entertainment value, but low on information. As time went on, his act wore thin. So, in a move that may have won the task for her team, Stefani wrested the mic from James and delivered an informative presentation with the skills of an experienced guide.

After pulling an all-nighter, Michelle and her team were definitely the worse for wear. On the microphone, Michelle was incoherent and Tim used poor judgment. At one point, he told the families on the bus about the hotel where John Belushi died from "injecting a speedball of heroin." It wasn't until afterward that Tim realized a bunch of parents were now going to have to explain speedballs to their kids.

Mercifully, the mic's annoying feedback drowned out most of their nonsensical chatter.

Based on customer opinion surveys, Aaron's team won decisively. Michelle blamed their loss on the faulty mic, while her teammates blamed her.

When Trump asked to see the losing team back in the boardroom, Michelle announced that the Apprentice experience -- specifically living in tents -- wasn't what she signed up for, and she'd prefer to resign and go home. Michelle said she'd love to reapply for Trumps organization via more conventional means. It was the most cogent she'd been all episode; too bad she waited to quit until she was going to get fired, anyway.

Trump gave her the standard "You're a quitter, and you'll never succeed" speech before he accepted her resignation.

In the end, though she was divisive and and indecisive as a contestant, I found myself sympathizing with Michelle. Is forced camping always a part of the Trump organization's hiring process? The Apprentice already finds enough excuses to ridicule its cast, without making them live outdoors.

But Michelle should've kept her thoughts to herself. All she needed to say was, "I take responsibility for the loss, and I don't want any of my teammates to be fired." By daring Trump to fire her, she'd get the same result and leave as a hero instead of a quitter.

Next week, some unnamed shocking thing happens. If the show's ratings stop declining, I really will be shocked.

TAR All-Stars Cast Revealed

CBS announced the cast of The Amazing Race: All-Stars, and even with ten seasons of candidates to choose from, they still only got half of the teams right.

Of the ten seasons, not all will be represented. No teams from seasons 4, 6, or 8 made the cut. Here's the list of teams that did:

Joe & Bill (Season 1): Team Guido set the standard for villainy on TAR. Since their season aired, they've remained highly involved in the series, through their participation in message boards and by blogging at CBS's website. Let's see if the goodwill they've built up with the show's hardcore fans carries over into goodwill from their competitors.

Kevin & Drew (Season 1): These buddies from New York also set the bar for funny guy teams. Their bio says they don't see each other as often as they used to. Can they recreate the same chemistry they had when they first ran the race?

Oswald & Danny (Season 2): The Cha Cha Chas had a casual attitude that carried them far in Season 2. Here's hoping their easy, fun style does the same this time around.

John (Vito) & Jill (Season 3): When they first ran the race, these nice, if bland, New Yorkers were dating. Now that they've broken up -- and John's apparently dropped the Vito from his name -- let's hope for more sparks than they generated as lovers.

Teri & Ian (Season 3): Ugh. I hated them the first time around, and I doubt that Ian's changed any of his boorish, chauvinistic ways.

Charla & Mirna (Season 5): Without these cousins, All-Stars wouldn't even be worth watching. It's unfortunate that they're the only representatives from a season full of worthy teams.

Uchenna & Joyce (Season 7): The only team of previous winners, Uchenna & Joyce garnered sympathy when they announced their plan to use their winnings for in vitro fertilization treatments. Apparently that didn't work, because, according to them, their relationship is still strained by their inability to have children. I'm not sure that this second round of racing is going to help.

Rob & Amber (Season 7): These reality show whores just won't go away. In their defense, they are two of the most skilled Racers ever, and I'm actually looking forward to watching them compete again.

Eric & Danielle (Season 9): This duo started dating after their season ended, ditching their former partners, Jeremy and Dani, to create the only "new" team on the race. They should be a competent pair, but they'll be missing Jeremy's quirky sense of humor and Dani's... whatever she has.

David & Mary (Season 10): I'm guessing that the coal miner and his wife were brought in only after another slow, overachieving couple -- Chicololo Gretchen & Meredith -- were unable to participate. If David & Mary last past week two, I'll be stunned.

Dustin & Kandice (Season 10): The Beauty Queens have a bad reputation (not that kind of bad reputation), but they're certainly strong competitors. Teams that discount the Queens as a potential threat may be in for a big surprise.

While I'm happy with many of the teams in the cast, I could do without John & Jill, Teri & Ian, Uchenna & Joyce, Eric & Danielle, and David & Mary. Of those five, only Teri & Ian left a lasting impression the first time I saw them. Here are my suggestions for their ideal replacements:

Colin & Christie (Season 5): Their absence from All-Stars is unfathomable. Not only are they two of the best competitors from any season, their ox-induced meltdown is the most memorable event in TAR history.

Kelly & Jon (Season 4): Their season wasn't one of the best, so it's easy to forget how devilishly funny they were (unless you hated them and thought they were just devils). Kelly & Jon were the team that got me hooked on the race, and it would've been great to see them again.

Ken & Gerard (Season 3): While Kevin & Drew may be the original goofy guy team, brothers Ken & Gerard perfected the form. The scene of them repeatedly falling into the water while punting on the River Cam was a highlight of Season 3.

Brian & Greg (Season 7): What can I say, I've got a thing for the teams of brothers. Brian & Greg didn't make it anywhere near the end of Season 7, but their exit -- clad only in sunglasses, winter hats, and swim trunks -- was classic.

Kami & Karli (Season 5): Another sibling team, these identical twins bore an uncanny facial resemblance to John Lithgow. In nearly every episode, they garnered one of those gong sound effects reserved for particularly stupid moments -- like when they stripped to their underwear and swam through two feet of water to a Pit Stop, while all of the other teams simply walked.

Honorable mention goes to Chip & Kim and BJ & Tyler. They're two of my favorite teams, but they've already won, so I had to give other teams priority.

The Amazing Race: All-Stars begins Sunday, February 18, at 8 p.m. EST.

Apprentice L.A. -- Episode 2

Carey thought that the men's pink bikini bottom he designed would be the big hit of the Apprentice L.A. fashion show. He was the only one surprised when Trump gave him the axe.

Both teams had to design three women's and three men's swimsuits for a runway show on the beach at Palisades Park. Whichever team sold the most suits to prospective buyers would spend the next week in the Apprentice mansion, take a trip to the Playboy Mansion, and also be exempt from next week's task.

Heidi's team, which now calls itself Kinetic, designed six traditional suits in solid colors. The team functioned well as a group, although Marisa wondered if it might be time for Heidi to take a back seat and let someone else lead. Unfortunately for Marisa, the project manager stays in charge until the team loses, and that may not happen for a while.

Nicole took over last week's losers, team Arrow. She gave Carey control over the design of the men's suits, and that's where it all went wrong.

Carey said he had dreamed of being a fashion designer, and this was his chance. His first suit was a standard knee-length board short for the straight man. Second was a mid-thigh boxer brief style suit for the metro sexual man. And finally, the piece de resistance -- a spandex short short in a pink print for the gay man.

And that gay man was Carey.

So enthusiastic was Carey about his tiny swim bottom that he modeled it on the runway himself, oblivious to the uncomfortable snickering of his fellow candidates, Donald Trump, and the swimsuit buyers.

Carey's experiment in minimalism doomed team Arrow. They sold $19,600 in merchandise, while Kinetic sold over $20,000. Arrow's total sales from their three men's suits was only $360.

In the boardroom, several people, including Carey, blamed the loss on sourpuss Michelle, but Trump wasn't buying it. Carey designed a suit that could be worn by only a small number of men -- although Trump did clarify that he himself could wear it, because of his own "great, GREAT body." Trump decided that the suit's designer deserved the blame for the loss.

If only Carey could have swallowed his pride and stopped defending his design, he could've more forcefully argued that Nicole the Project Manager had final approval of the suits. But he was blinded by his love for his pink swimsuit, which he continued to moon over in the boardroom. Consequently, he was axed.

Next week, the winning Kinetic Corp. spends the day lounging around, while the losers of Arrow Corp. fight for the right to spend another night in crappy tents.

I think I'd rather be fired.

DwtS Tour Recap

The Dancing with the Stars Tour made a stop in Chicago last week, and MOIB was in attendance.

The event got off to a rocky start, thanks to tour sponsor Slim-Fast. Christian Perry -- Tysonia's dance instructor for Season 3's heartwarmingly boring Slim-Fast Challenge clips -- walked onto the dance floor and introduced himself as the emcee of a special, local version of the Challenge.

Audience members had come to the arena expecting a glitzy, glamorous Hollywood show, but instead, the first performances were by ten competent -- but neither professional nor celebrity -- dancing couples.

Ten pairs of students from Arthur Murray's Chicago studio competed in two rounds of dances, during which celebrity guest judge Alec Mazo chose two couples to move on to a final round later in the show. Alec confessed that his selections were based simply on which couple's numbers he could read as they twirled in front of him.

Apparently, the studio had only been given three days notice to find twenty students brave enough to dance in front of thousands of people. The dancers gave their all, but unfortunately for them, the the Challenge had zero production value. The arena lights (including giant banner advertisements for Budweiser) were left on, and the sound quality would've embarrassed a bad wedding DJ. Though Perry and Mazo had some amateurish charm when speaking to the audience, they were still out of their element.

Many audience members spent the duration of the Challenge scanning the arena with confused expressions, wondering, Are we in for a whole night of this? I worried that I'd made a huge mistake in buying tickets as Christmas presents for my parents and in-laws. I wasn't too scared about the quality of the dancing to come, but I didn't want the lights and sound to give the whole evening a college basketball atmosphere. (The arena in which the event was held also plays host to the DePaul Blue Demons.)

I breathed a little easier when the Pee Wee Herman-esque Perry announced that the Challenge was only "the pre-show," and the real show wouldn't begin for a few minutes.

After a five-minute long Slim-Fast commercial aired on three giant screens hovering over the dance floor, the PA announcer (the same faceless British voice from the TV show) said that the show would actually begin following another brief break.

Finally, 30 minutes after the scheduled start time, the lights dimmed (Phew!), and it was time for the show. Harry Hamlin limped out to announce that he'd tweaked his back in Vegas a few days earlier, so he wouldn't be performing.

(So that Harry's partner, Karina Smirnoff, wasn't completely left to fend for herself, she was paired with one of the tour's company dancers, of which there were eight -- including Christian Perry and Alec Mazo. Karina sported a bob-style wig, and some of the audience members near me went most of the show without recognizing her.)

One couple at a time, each of the tour's remaining celebrities (Lisa Rinna, Joey McIntyre, Joey Lawrence, and Drew Lachey) came out with their respective professional partners (Louis van Amstel, Kym Johnson, Edyta Sliwinska, and Cheryl Burke) to perform one of their best routines from the the television show.

The dancing was great, and the music sounded top-notch. To me, it looked like all the celebs had improved the routines since being on Dancing with the Stars. And the band -- a guitar/bass/keyboards/drums outfit (not Harold Wheeler's show orchestra) -- sounded spot-on.

After each performance, each dancing couple spoke a bit about their time on the show, how excited they were to be touring, and who was coming up next. Since he was there, I think they should have had Harry Hamlin host the evening, introducing each dance. It's not that I didn't appreciate Lisa's manic energy and Drew's constant "Woo!"-ing. But Harry seemed very comfortable speaking to the audience, and it would've been nice to see more of him.

The celebrities and their partners danced a few new numbers with the rest of the company dancers, but the most exciting routines were the ones that didn't include the celebrities. Alec & Edyta and Louis & Karina danced a Rumba that was more romantic and beautiful than anything seen on any season of the television show to date. (The song they danced to, however, Enrique Iglesias's "Hero," just makes me think of this Scrubs clip, which I could only find dubbed into Spanish.)

All of the pro dancers were extremely talented, and it was great to see Alec dance again. After watching Christian Perry, I couldn't help but feel that Slim-Fast did him a great disservice by having him host the pre-show. He's amazing to watch when he's allowed to just shut up and dance.

Speaking of the pre-show, it was then time to award the Slim-Fast Challenge trophy to one of the amateur couples who'd danced during the pre-show, Drew and the two Joeys emceed, referring to this final dance-off as "the best part of the show." This statement prompted my dad, Jim, to turn to me and whisper in mock horror, "This is the best part of the show? Oh, shit!"

One of the male competitors was 6'7" and dwarfed Drew and both Joeys. Drew compensated for the height differential by jumping on Joey L's back.

Their three celebs' corny shtick fit in perfectly with the thrown together style of the pre-show. Both of the competing couples danced at a similar level, but, ultimately, victory went to the couple whose female half wore the shiniest dress.

Drew & Cheryl were far and away the most popular couple, and their reprises of the "Thriller" Paso Doble and "Save a Horse" freestyle garnered the evening's loudest applause.

They were nearly eclipsed by a special appearance from Jerry Springer. He joined Kym Johnson for a reprise of their Mambo, complete with maracas. He followed the dance with a bit of stand-up comedy.

Jerry rehashed a joke he made during the season about the disadvantage he faced because all of his fans were prison inmates, who were allowed only one phone call to vote for him. He added, "Do you think people on my TV show watch ballroom dancing? You think they do Paso Doble in a double wide?"

Jerry had another suggestion for the TV show: "They should have a senior season. Everyone else is 30 years old. They can all walk without getting dizzy."

Overall, the show (as opposed to the pre-show) was orchestrated well. It was high energy, although part of that had to do with an over-reliance on Latin dances and a paucity of standard ballroom. The staging and lighting were wonderful, except in the professional group dances, when a spotlight would've made it easier to see couples as they soloed.

The biggest surprise of the night had to be the musicians. The band of six instrumentalists was tight and produced a much larger and fuller sound than you'd expect from such a small group.

But it was the singers who stole the show. And no, I'm not talking about Joey McIntyre, who performed a couple of ditties from his latest album. Performing some of Sinatra's biggest hits, Joey sounded like, well, a former boy bander performing Sinatra's greatest hits. I left the arena without buying a copy of the CD, even though Joey was autographing them after the show.

The singers I'm talking about are the same four singers from the television series. They're also providing the vocals for the tour, and they were AMAZING. I've ragged on the quality of the singing on the show, but their performance on the tour shows what these singers are capable of when they're given more than a couple of days to learn 15 songs.

During Season 4, I vow to be more forgiving of any vocal mishaps. Unless they're really funny.

The ticket price was well worth it to see quality ballroom dancing in person. Chicago is not one of the hot spots in the world of competitive ballroom, and $75 per ticket seems reasonable compared to the cost of booking a flight to Ohio or Florida or California, and then paying for hotel rooms, admission fees, and fancy clothes.

Ultimately, I know that the show was a success, because my dad and father-in-law both enjoyed themselves. It was a good bet that my mom, Sandy, and mother-in-law, Joan, would like the show, so long as it was well-executed. But Jim and Ron are guys who you'd think would rather spend a night at a high school basketball game than at a ballroom dancing exhibition.

Both guys had a great time (I'm sure seeing Edyta and Kym in person didn't hurt), and they said they'd happily go back and see the show again. Looks like I'm set for next Christmas.

Apprentice L.A. -- Episode 1

The Apprentice's move to Los Angeles from New York City wasn't the only change revealed in the Season 6 premiere. Half of the contestants live in tents. Trump has only one viceroy. And he didn't keep the goofy guy with no shot at winning around just to manufacture drama.

Trump opened the show by asking the contestants to introduce themselves to him and each other. During the introductions, Martin, a lawyer/professor from Atlanta, asked Trump if he could use the bathroom, making him the most obvious target in the whole group. Trump ridiculed Martin for his inappropriate comment. And Trump's lone viceroy, his daughter Ivanka, instructed Martin to "hold it."

Two alpha competitors emerged from the cast as they led the others in pitching the aforementioned tents. Once the tents were up, Trump asked the two early leaders, Frank and Heidi, to pick teams and serve as Project Managers on the season's first task.

Heidi's team narrowly triumphed in the first challenge -- selling car washes -- when they decided to roll up their French cuffs and dry some of the cars themselves. The winning team took up residence in a mansion, while Frank's losers were forced to live in the backyard tents.

After a sleepless night under the stars, the finger pointing began.

Several team members blamed Frank for setting the price too low and printing up handouts instead of signs that drivers could actually see from their cars. Frank attributed the loss to Martin's low number of sales. Since Trump already thought Martin was a goofball, finding any excuse to target him was probably a good idea.

In addition to living in the mansion with her team, victorious Project Manager Heidi got to sit next to Trump and Ivanka during the Boardroom and act as honorary viceroy. She and Ivanka had the same advice for Trump: Martin had to go.

Trump hemmed and hawed about possibly firing his fellow New Yorker, "Frankie," but he ultimately agreed that Martin just wouldn't fit in with the Trump organization.

I'm still somewhat stunned that Trump opted for the good of the company, instead of the drama Martin's prolonged presence would cause. Maybe the Apprentice really is different this season.

Next week, the teams design and model swimsuits. After all, that's what Harvard-educated lawyers and real estate moguls do best.

DwtS In-Season Update: 1-3-07

It's only two days until the Dancing with the Stars Tour stops in Chicago, and we here at MOIB will be in attendance (along with the MOIBs-in-law). I'll post my thoughts on the live show later in the week. Until then, here's the latest in DwtS news.

DwtS Tour
The recent Tour stop in Las Vegas gave Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin the chance to party with Nikki Sixx, Jason Giambi, and Pauly Shore. Go ahead and take a minute to let that bizarre image sink in.

Season 4 Rumors
Former Indiana Pacer Reggie Miller is the latest star to turn down an invitation to participate in DwtS 4. He cited Emmitt Smith's victory as the reason he declined: "He ruined it for all athletes because he was so good."

Ashly DelGrosso sent out an announcement about her future with the show today: "I am looking forward to another season of Dancing with the Stars, but I have not heard from the producers yet whether they have found a new partner for me. So, until I do I will not know if I'll be back."

Appearances
Mario Lopez has been announced as the host of this year's Miss America pageant, which will air on Country Music Television on January 29.

Stacy Keibler's seven-episode stint on ABC's What About Brian starts on February 5. She'll also guest star on two episodes of George Lopez, on January 31 and February 21.

Other News
Maksim Chmerkovskiy took some time last week to answer fans' questions at his website. He revealed that he's already shot a video in association with Dancing with the Stars that will come out in March.

Edyta Sliwinska and Alec Mazo have created videos of their own. The series of seven DVDs, titled Dancing Like the Pros, include fitness and instructional dance lessons taught by Alec & Edyta.