TAR All-Stars Cast Revealed

CBS announced the cast of The Amazing Race: All-Stars, and even with ten seasons of candidates to choose from, they still only got half of the teams right.

Of the ten seasons, not all will be represented. No teams from seasons 4, 6, or 8 made the cut. Here's the list of teams that did:

Joe & Bill (Season 1): Team Guido set the standard for villainy on TAR. Since their season aired, they've remained highly involved in the series, through their participation in message boards and by blogging at CBS's website. Let's see if the goodwill they've built up with the show's hardcore fans carries over into goodwill from their competitors.

Kevin & Drew (Season 1): These buddies from New York also set the bar for funny guy teams. Their bio says they don't see each other as often as they used to. Can they recreate the same chemistry they had when they first ran the race?

Oswald & Danny (Season 2): The Cha Cha Chas had a casual attitude that carried them far in Season 2. Here's hoping their easy, fun style does the same this time around.

John (Vito) & Jill (Season 3): When they first ran the race, these nice, if bland, New Yorkers were dating. Now that they've broken up -- and John's apparently dropped the Vito from his name -- let's hope for more sparks than they generated as lovers.

Teri & Ian (Season 3): Ugh. I hated them the first time around, and I doubt that Ian's changed any of his boorish, chauvinistic ways.

Charla & Mirna (Season 5): Without these cousins, All-Stars wouldn't even be worth watching. It's unfortunate that they're the only representatives from a season full of worthy teams.

Uchenna & Joyce (Season 7): The only team of previous winners, Uchenna & Joyce garnered sympathy when they announced their plan to use their winnings for in vitro fertilization treatments. Apparently that didn't work, because, according to them, their relationship is still strained by their inability to have children. I'm not sure that this second round of racing is going to help.

Rob & Amber (Season 7): These reality show whores just won't go away. In their defense, they are two of the most skilled Racers ever, and I'm actually looking forward to watching them compete again.

Eric & Danielle (Season 9): This duo started dating after their season ended, ditching their former partners, Jeremy and Dani, to create the only "new" team on the race. They should be a competent pair, but they'll be missing Jeremy's quirky sense of humor and Dani's... whatever she has.

David & Mary (Season 10): I'm guessing that the coal miner and his wife were brought in only after another slow, overachieving couple -- Chicololo Gretchen & Meredith -- were unable to participate. If David & Mary last past week two, I'll be stunned.

Dustin & Kandice (Season 10): The Beauty Queens have a bad reputation (not that kind of bad reputation), but they're certainly strong competitors. Teams that discount the Queens as a potential threat may be in for a big surprise.

While I'm happy with many of the teams in the cast, I could do without John & Jill, Teri & Ian, Uchenna & Joyce, Eric & Danielle, and David & Mary. Of those five, only Teri & Ian left a lasting impression the first time I saw them. Here are my suggestions for their ideal replacements:

Colin & Christie (Season 5): Their absence from All-Stars is unfathomable. Not only are they two of the best competitors from any season, their ox-induced meltdown is the most memorable event in TAR history.

Kelly & Jon (Season 4): Their season wasn't one of the best, so it's easy to forget how devilishly funny they were (unless you hated them and thought they were just devils). Kelly & Jon were the team that got me hooked on the race, and it would've been great to see them again.

Ken & Gerard (Season 3): While Kevin & Drew may be the original goofy guy team, brothers Ken & Gerard perfected the form. The scene of them repeatedly falling into the water while punting on the River Cam was a highlight of Season 3.

Brian & Greg (Season 7): What can I say, I've got a thing for the teams of brothers. Brian & Greg didn't make it anywhere near the end of Season 7, but their exit -- clad only in sunglasses, winter hats, and swim trunks -- was classic.

Kami & Karli (Season 5): Another sibling team, these identical twins bore an uncanny facial resemblance to John Lithgow. In nearly every episode, they garnered one of those gong sound effects reserved for particularly stupid moments -- like when they stripped to their underwear and swam through two feet of water to a Pit Stop, while all of the other teams simply walked.

Honorable mention goes to Chip & Kim and BJ & Tyler. They're two of my favorite teams, but they've already won, so I had to give other teams priority.

The Amazing Race: All-Stars begins Sunday, February 18, at 8 p.m. EST.