DwtS Tour Recap

The Dancing with the Stars Tour made a stop in Chicago last week, and MOIB was in attendance.

The event got off to a rocky start, thanks to tour sponsor Slim-Fast. Christian Perry -- Tysonia's dance instructor for Season 3's heartwarmingly boring Slim-Fast Challenge clips -- walked onto the dance floor and introduced himself as the emcee of a special, local version of the Challenge.

Audience members had come to the arena expecting a glitzy, glamorous Hollywood show, but instead, the first performances were by ten competent -- but neither professional nor celebrity -- dancing couples.

Ten pairs of students from Arthur Murray's Chicago studio competed in two rounds of dances, during which celebrity guest judge Alec Mazo chose two couples to move on to a final round later in the show. Alec confessed that his selections were based simply on which couple's numbers he could read as they twirled in front of him.

Apparently, the studio had only been given three days notice to find twenty students brave enough to dance in front of thousands of people. The dancers gave their all, but unfortunately for them, the the Challenge had zero production value. The arena lights (including giant banner advertisements for Budweiser) were left on, and the sound quality would've embarrassed a bad wedding DJ. Though Perry and Mazo had some amateurish charm when speaking to the audience, they were still out of their element.

Many audience members spent the duration of the Challenge scanning the arena with confused expressions, wondering, Are we in for a whole night of this? I worried that I'd made a huge mistake in buying tickets as Christmas presents for my parents and in-laws. I wasn't too scared about the quality of the dancing to come, but I didn't want the lights and sound to give the whole evening a college basketball atmosphere. (The arena in which the event was held also plays host to the DePaul Blue Demons.)

I breathed a little easier when the Pee Wee Herman-esque Perry announced that the Challenge was only "the pre-show," and the real show wouldn't begin for a few minutes.

After a five-minute long Slim-Fast commercial aired on three giant screens hovering over the dance floor, the PA announcer (the same faceless British voice from the TV show) said that the show would actually begin following another brief break.

Finally, 30 minutes after the scheduled start time, the lights dimmed (Phew!), and it was time for the show. Harry Hamlin limped out to announce that he'd tweaked his back in Vegas a few days earlier, so he wouldn't be performing.

(So that Harry's partner, Karina Smirnoff, wasn't completely left to fend for herself, she was paired with one of the tour's company dancers, of which there were eight -- including Christian Perry and Alec Mazo. Karina sported a bob-style wig, and some of the audience members near me went most of the show without recognizing her.)

One couple at a time, each of the tour's remaining celebrities (Lisa Rinna, Joey McIntyre, Joey Lawrence, and Drew Lachey) came out with their respective professional partners (Louis van Amstel, Kym Johnson, Edyta Sliwinska, and Cheryl Burke) to perform one of their best routines from the the television show.

The dancing was great, and the music sounded top-notch. To me, it looked like all the celebs had improved the routines since being on Dancing with the Stars. And the band -- a guitar/bass/keyboards/drums outfit (not Harold Wheeler's show orchestra) -- sounded spot-on.

After each performance, each dancing couple spoke a bit about their time on the show, how excited they were to be touring, and who was coming up next. Since he was there, I think they should have had Harry Hamlin host the evening, introducing each dance. It's not that I didn't appreciate Lisa's manic energy and Drew's constant "Woo!"-ing. But Harry seemed very comfortable speaking to the audience, and it would've been nice to see more of him.

The celebrities and their partners danced a few new numbers with the rest of the company dancers, but the most exciting routines were the ones that didn't include the celebrities. Alec & Edyta and Louis & Karina danced a Rumba that was more romantic and beautiful than anything seen on any season of the television show to date. (The song they danced to, however, Enrique Iglesias's "Hero," just makes me think of this Scrubs clip, which I could only find dubbed into Spanish.)

All of the pro dancers were extremely talented, and it was great to see Alec dance again. After watching Christian Perry, I couldn't help but feel that Slim-Fast did him a great disservice by having him host the pre-show. He's amazing to watch when he's allowed to just shut up and dance.

Speaking of the pre-show, it was then time to award the Slim-Fast Challenge trophy to one of the amateur couples who'd danced during the pre-show, Drew and the two Joeys emceed, referring to this final dance-off as "the best part of the show." This statement prompted my dad, Jim, to turn to me and whisper in mock horror, "This is the best part of the show? Oh, shit!"

One of the male competitors was 6'7" and dwarfed Drew and both Joeys. Drew compensated for the height differential by jumping on Joey L's back.

Their three celebs' corny shtick fit in perfectly with the thrown together style of the pre-show. Both of the competing couples danced at a similar level, but, ultimately, victory went to the couple whose female half wore the shiniest dress.

Drew & Cheryl were far and away the most popular couple, and their reprises of the "Thriller" Paso Doble and "Save a Horse" freestyle garnered the evening's loudest applause.

They were nearly eclipsed by a special appearance from Jerry Springer. He joined Kym Johnson for a reprise of their Mambo, complete with maracas. He followed the dance with a bit of stand-up comedy.

Jerry rehashed a joke he made during the season about the disadvantage he faced because all of his fans were prison inmates, who were allowed only one phone call to vote for him. He added, "Do you think people on my TV show watch ballroom dancing? You think they do Paso Doble in a double wide?"

Jerry had another suggestion for the TV show: "They should have a senior season. Everyone else is 30 years old. They can all walk without getting dizzy."

Overall, the show (as opposed to the pre-show) was orchestrated well. It was high energy, although part of that had to do with an over-reliance on Latin dances and a paucity of standard ballroom. The staging and lighting were wonderful, except in the professional group dances, when a spotlight would've made it easier to see couples as they soloed.

The biggest surprise of the night had to be the musicians. The band of six instrumentalists was tight and produced a much larger and fuller sound than you'd expect from such a small group.

But it was the singers who stole the show. And no, I'm not talking about Joey McIntyre, who performed a couple of ditties from his latest album. Performing some of Sinatra's biggest hits, Joey sounded like, well, a former boy bander performing Sinatra's greatest hits. I left the arena without buying a copy of the CD, even though Joey was autographing them after the show.

The singers I'm talking about are the same four singers from the television series. They're also providing the vocals for the tour, and they were AMAZING. I've ragged on the quality of the singing on the show, but their performance on the tour shows what these singers are capable of when they're given more than a couple of days to learn 15 songs.

During Season 4, I vow to be more forgiving of any vocal mishaps. Unless they're really funny.

The ticket price was well worth it to see quality ballroom dancing in person. Chicago is not one of the hot spots in the world of competitive ballroom, and $75 per ticket seems reasonable compared to the cost of booking a flight to Ohio or Florida or California, and then paying for hotel rooms, admission fees, and fancy clothes.

Ultimately, I know that the show was a success, because my dad and father-in-law both enjoyed themselves. It was a good bet that my mom, Sandy, and mother-in-law, Joan, would like the show, so long as it was well-executed. But Jim and Ron are guys who you'd think would rather spend a night at a high school basketball game than at a ballroom dancing exhibition.

Both guys had a great time (I'm sure seeing Edyta and Kym in person didn't hurt), and they said they'd happily go back and see the show again. Looks like I'm set for next Christmas.