Ox Notes: November 30, 2007

Julianne Hough is denying rumors of a romance with her Dancing with the Stars partner Helio Castroneves, telling People, "I love Helio like he is my brother." However, the two were spotted in New York looking mighty cozy together.

Julianne also just signed a deal with music label Univeral Music Group Nashville, as part of her budding country music career.

It's no secret that celebrities appear on DwtS to land new jobs, and Jennie Garth is the latest to benefit from her increased visibility: she's going to shill for Orville Redenbacher popcorn.

In other dance reality show news, Elizabeth Berkley's role as a stripper in Showgirls gave her enough dance credibility to become the host of Bravo's new show, Step It Up and Dance.

The latest couple eliminated from The Amazing Race, Jason & Lorena, offered future racers two keys to surviving the show's grueling pace: yoga and reversible underpants.

NBC announced its revised schedule for winter, which includes nightly reality shows to ease the pressure of the writers strike. Reality Blurred has a complete schedule of reality shows debuting on the major networks and cable in the next few months.

Studios and writers continue to negotiate, but things aren't going well. Worse, the strike could affect some networks' holiday office party plans.

One person emerging from the gloom of the strike as a super guy is Conan O'Brien. Starting next week, O'Brien is going to use his own money to pay the salaries of the 80 people who work on his show so they won't be burdened during the holidays. Good on ya, Conan.

Survivor China: Episode 10

After urging his comrades to avoid temptation, James took a pie to the face.

When we last left Survivor, Jeff Probst told the gang that they weren't through at Tribal Council, even though they'd just voted Frosti out of the game. The remaining competitors were going to participate in their Reward Challenge that night as well.

The challenge was a quiz about Chinese culture, and, not surprisingly, the Chinese-American member of the tribe won. Peih-Gee beat out her closest competitors, James and Todd, when she answered correctly that, in China, a red envelope usually contains money.

Peih-Gee won perhaps the coolest reward in Survivor history: an overnight stay at the Shaolin Monastery, birthplace of Kung Fu. She was able to bring two people with her, and she chose Denise and Erik.

As they toured the monastery with one of the monks, Denise revealed that she was working on her black belt in Karate. After watching some impressive martial arts demonstrations by the monks, the tour guide asked Denise to show off some of her own moves.

Denise obliged, and while she's no Kwai Chang Caine, I'd advise the kids in the school cafeteria where she works not to criticize the Salisbury steak.

The well-rested, well-fed, and highly entertained trio returned to camp to find James, Courtney, Todd, and Amanda wet, miserable, and huddled in a cave.

They all dried out in time for the Immunity Challenge, in which the Survivors scored points by hitting targets with throwing stars. Erik, Courtney, Amanda, and James tied for first place and moved on to a sudden death round, from which Erik emerged victorious.

Erik's victory put a target on Peih-Gee, as the only member of the original Zhan Hu tribe eligible to be voted out.

James used a biblical analogy to encourage the original Fei Long members to stick with their alliance: "The Lord said, 'Don't bite that apple.' If Eve would've listened, they'd still be frolicking naked in heaven. I just want us to frolic naked as long as we can. So don't be tempted by Peih-Gee and Erik. Don't bite the apple."

However, Amanda had other ideas. She realized that, if they got rid of Peih-Gee as planned, James would be able to use his two Immunity Idols at the next two Tribal Councils and wind up in the Final Four. Riffing on James' analogy, Amanda said, "I am not only ready to bite the apple, I am ready to make the whole frickin' pie."

In separate conversations, Amanda pulled Courtney, Todd, and Denise aside and told them that they needed to get rid of James that night. If they were able to keep him convinced that they were voting for Peih-Gee, James wouldn't use his one of his Immunity Idols, and he would be gone.

Meanwhile, Peih-Gee came to the same realization as Amanda. With only the fuzziest idea of a plan in mind, Peih-Gee asked Amanda if she knew about James' Hidden Idols.

Amanda confirmed that she did, but she didn't want to get too candid with Peih-Gee. Instead, she gave her a coded response: "You just have to trust me, and you just have to not say anything the rest of the day. It'll be in your best interest if you don't. Act like you're going home and just keep it like that."

Peih-Gee consented to play along, and she told Erik that she suspected a plan to whack James was afoot. Erik didn't want to be on the wrong side of the power players, so he decided to vote for James.

Just in case James did play an Immunity Idol, thereby voiding any of the votes cast for him, Peih-Gee decided to vote for Todd. Assuming that James was voting for her, she'd at least be assured of a tie with Todd, and might be able to avoid being kicked off.

At Tribal Council, it was apparent that the Fei Long members' lying and Peih-Gee's "woe is me" moping around camp had worked. James kept both of his Immunity Idols in his bag, and sat there contorting his face in agony as Jeff Probst revealed vote after vote that read "James." Jury members Jaime, Jean-Robert, and Frosti were in hysterics, knowing that James could easily have saved himself but didn't.

James, for his part, was a good sport about his ouster: "You can't be angry with anybody. This is a game. I rolled the dice too many times, and I just got caught up."

Next time, Amanda begins to work against Todd, and Denise finds herself in a position of power.

Ox Notes: November 29, 2007

In an interview with Extra, Maksim Chmerkovskiy made it sound as though he won't be returning to Dancing with the Stars: "If this is the limit of where I can get in a show, then let it be. I'm satisfied and moving on."

Maks' partner, Melanie Brown, posted behind-the-scenes photos from Tuesday night's Results Show at the Spice Girls' website. There's also a contest to win the fake eyelashes she wore at the finale.

Mel also told People that she's going to miss DwtS host Tom Bergeron: "He’s so hilarious. My favorite show is America’s Funniest Home Videos, and he gave me 12 DVDs and I’m addicted."

Mark Ballas may need surgery to repair the shoulder he dislocated during Tuesday night's Dancing with the Stars Finale. While Mark was rushed to the hospital right after the injury occurred, producers told Sabrina Bryan she'd have to stay until the show was over.

Sabrina told People: "I know I had to be here, but I’m so worried about him. I’m so mad they wouldn’t let me leave."

Mark's dad, Corky, who went with Mark to the hospital, told TV Guide yesterday, "When Sabrina got there, [Mark] felt much better."

Another DwtS casualty is Helio Castroneves' relationship with his fiancee, Aliette Vazquez. The morning after he won the mirrorball trophy, he told People that the two of them are "no longer together."

The Dancing with the Stars 5 finale was watched by nearly 25 million people. While it was the second most-watched telecast of the season, the numbers are lower than previous DwtS finales, and it lost in key demos to House.

Finally, as if becoming prom queen at your own high school wasn't difficult enough, ABC Family is working on America's Prom Queen. Worse still for the perky cheerleaders who will no doubt compete for the title is that they will be judged by "nerds" and "misfits." What. Ever.

Ox Notes: November 28, 2007

Carrie Ann Inaba told TV Guide that Maksim Chmerkovskiy underwent Dancing with the Stars 5's biggest transformation thanks to his partner, Melanie Brown: "She changed him! Talk about girl power?" Bruno Tonioli said that, despite the upbeat air Maks was putting on for the press when talking about his second place finish, "He's devastated."

In case any Maks fans need any cheering up today, OK! Magazine's website has a picture of Maks wearing only a towel.

A poll at People.com wants to know if you think the right person won this season of Dancing with the Stars.

Now it's time to get worked up about the casting for DwtS 6. Marie Osmond says that producers have talked to her brother, Donny, about competing on the show (Noooo!). And MOIB reader Amy noted in the Finale Results thread that Derek Hough told TMZ he may be paired with Florence Henderson. I'd love to see Derek make the finals, and that won't happen if he's paired with 73-year-old Mrs. Brady.

An article at Zap2It notes that, even if the writers strike ended today, most scripted shows wouldn't go back into production until 2008. That's good news for reality show production houses like Endemol, who stand to reap major rewards from a prolonged shutdown.

In other reality show news, Simon Cowell is looking to unite the winners of national versions of the Got Talent franchise for a World's Got Talent competition.

Ahead of tonight's episode of Project Runway, here's a TV Guide interview with auf'd designer, Marion Lee.

This UPI article mentions what shows the 2008 presidential candidates watch in between their seemingly daily debates on CNN. Barack Obama has the good taste to watch The Wire, the fourth season of which comes out on DVD December 4.

Finally, the Food Network has canceled the long-running Emeril Live, although the chef will stay on with the network for special programs. First they whack Mario Batali, and now Emeril. What gives?

DwtS 5 Finale: Results

Helio Castroneves became the third consecutive male athlete to win Dancing with the Stars. Somewhere, Jerry Rice is demanding a recount of Season 2's results.

After a recap of last night's show, special guest Celine Dion performed her hit from Titanic, "My Heart Will Go On." DwtS pros Mark & Cheryl, Alec & Edyta, and Karina & Tony danced a routine that included gorgeous spins, and even a few "king of the world" moves (but sadly no "boat hitting an iceberg" moves).

Without dragging out the suspense too far into the show, the third place couple was then announced: Marie & Jonathan.

Marie said, "I'm so pleased to be here at my age."

This prompted Tom Bergeron to quip, "You're in your 70s, right?" Marie laughed, the same way she does when she thinks about the working conditions of her doll-making sweatshop workers, and then she and Jonathan gave a farewell performance of their Tango.

The dramatic announcement was followed by a recap of the entire season. A nice change in the finale format was that all of the eliminated couples were brought back to dance an entire routine, instead of the 30-second snippets they've danced in the past. Josie Maran & Alec Mazo danced their Fox Trot, and Albert Reed & Anna Trebunskaya danced their Cha Cha Cha.

Wayne Newton & Cheryl Burke didn't dance because Wayne's doctors wouldn't allow it due to his heart condition. Floyd Mayweather & Karina Smirnoff also chose not to dance, due to Floyd's "grueling training camp" in preparation for an upcoming boxing match.

The still slim and trim Mark Cuban & Kym Johnson danced their Fox Trot.

Then Sabrina Bryan & Mark Ballas danced a Cha Cha Cha that wound up being the most impressive performance of the night. Not because of the dancing, but because Mark appeared to dislocate his shoulder early into the routine, but kept on dancing. He limited his arm movements as best he could and managed to make it through the whole routine without crying, passing out, or running offstage. The long standing ovation from the crowd must have been torture.

Jane Seymour & Tony Dovolani danced the Viennese Waltz, and Cameron Mathison & Edyta Sliwinska reprised their Superman Paso Doble. Fulfilling his promise to take off his shirt if he made it to the finale, Cameron took his shirt off and gave it to Samantha Harris.

In response, Drew Lachey and Bruno Tonioli -- seated together to promote their show Dance War -- threatened to drop their pants, but didn't follow through, at least not on-camera. Mark Cuban was kind enough to let Cameron wear his tuxedo jacket for the remainder of the show.

Jennie Garth & Derek Hough closed out the nostalgia portion of the show by performing their Mambo.

The top two couples had one more performance each: a reprise of their own favorite routines. Mel & Maks were up first, and they danced their Mambo. The judges were thrilled, and Bruno told Mel, "Your determination, your professionalism, and your good humor is a credit to you. You're a star."

Backstage waiting for their scores -- all 10s, of course -- Maks called Mel "Queen of the Floor."

Helio & Julianne did an encore performance of their The Mask-inspired Quickstep, and Julianne held Helio's head in place for an extra long smooch at the end. The couple was honored with perfect scores as well.

After Tom made a sojourn into the audience to talk to tease Jennie about falling one last time, it was time to announce the winner.

Helio & Julianne won the trophy, thwarting hopes for a female winner for yet another season. In prior seasons, the winners have always been the couples with the best freestyle routines, and Helio & Julianne's victory fit the pattern.

Thanks, everyone, for joining us this season!

Ox Notes: November 27, 2007

Although comment posters here at MOIB seem to appreciate the Dancing with the Stars judges actually judging again, Julianne Hough did not. She told TV Guide, "It sucked the energy out of [the room]."

In the same Backstage Report, Donny Osmond agreed with Julianne: "The judges put a dark cloud over this whole show. The dancers and the celebrities were all nervous. Come on, this is the finale. Give them some encouragement."

There's plenty of injury talk in the Backstage Report as well, raising the question: Is the Dancing with the Stars season too long? I'd be okay if they cut the season from ten weeks to eight, or if they only went to two dances per week for the last two weeks of the show.

Former DwtS contestant Paulina Porizkova has replaced Twiggy as a judge for the next season of America's Next Top Model.

Fans of So You Think You Can Dance will be delighted to learn that Cat Deeley will host Fox's New Year's Eve Live countdown.

You can tell that TV writers are on strike when CBS starts hyping a special featuring Ted Danson and Sam Waterston skiing for charity.

Speaking of the strike, a survey by the Writers Guild of America found that the average reality TV writer loses out on nearly $40,000 of overtime pay each year. 86% of reality TV writers don't have employer-provided health insurance, either.

As promised on the most recent episode of Project Runway, Victorya Hong's dress will be sold at Steve & Barry's as part of Sarah Jessica Parker's Bitten clothing line.

And one week after appearing on The Bachelor's "After the Final Rose" special as one of the show's few success stories, Mary Delgado socked her fiance, Bachelor Number 6 Byron Velvick, in the mouth. There's something very comforting about the headline "Bachelor Punched In Face."

DwtS 5 Finale: Performances

The judges finally remembered what their role on Dancing with the Stars is. Too bad this season's finalists didn't give them much to judge during the Freestyle Round.

Judges' Choice Round

Melanie Brown & Maksim Chmerkovskiy -- Cha Cha Cha
Mel took the floor in an outfit so skimpy, Edyta might've thought twice about wearing it. Okay, maybe not. But Mel looked fab, and, apart from a bizarre opening bit, their cute, fun Cha Cha set the tone for a potentially great Finale. Perhaps I was biased by my love of Rose Royce's song "Car Wash."

Len said of the routine, "For me, one or two funny bits in it. But it was a great performance." Bruno told Mel, "Your visual impact...I tell you, stunning!" Carrie Ann said, "I thought it was really good. I was expecting just a hair more excitement."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...10 = 28/30

Marie Osmond & Jonathan Roberts -- Samba
Marie didn't faint this time, but she still seemed winded, despite this Samba's slow tempo and over-reliance on poses. She showed a flair for the shimmy, but there wasn't much else to make the performance stand out.

Bruno told Marie, "You never fail to entertain. Technically, it wasn't your best dance." Carrie Ann, "Your range of motion is a little bit more limited, and it kind of showed itself in this dance." Len said, "Technically, you're not the best of our finalists. But for entertainment and fun, second to none."

Jonathan frowned and Marie uttered a disappointed, "Wow," when the judges revealed their scores.
Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...8, Bruno...8 = 24/30

Helio Castroneves & Julianne Hough -- Jive
Helio & Julianne dressed as bobby soxers, and the routine was very cute. Helio's moves were pretty good. They just weren't always in sync with Julianne's.

When the audience finally quieted down, Carrie Ann told Helio, "It was completely exciting. But your flicks and kicks are still a bit awkward." Len, agreed: "You come out high octane...but unfortunately, so many technical problems with that. It was a disappointment." Bruno said, "The footwork wasn't good enough, but the performance was great."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...8, Bruno...9 = 25/30

Freestyle Round

Melanie Brown & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
After their terrific first round Cha Cha Cha, this was a real letdown. Mel & Maks made a bad song choice for their freestyle: Timbaland's "The Way I Are." It's a cool song, but the choreography needed to overcome the song's dirge-like feel. On top of that, the two vocalists attempting to replicate the song's double-tracked vocals were singing in different keys.

While the routine's (too few) tricks were good, the rest of the performance lacked excitement. Maks would've been better suited working a few hip-hop moves into a Latin routine, and highlighting it with several stand-out lifts.

Carrie Ann said, "While I enjoyed the routine, I think you're better than that, and I don't think it showcased all that you did the past couple of months." Len agreed: "For me it was just slightly disjointed here and there. But great job." Bruno told Mel, "You put in something we don't usually see. You tried, and I think you did a good job."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 27/30

Marie Osmond & Jonathan Roberts
Marie sells dolls on QVC, and as a nod to her doll-buying minions, she went all Pinocchio, while dancing to The Rolling Stones' "Start Me Up." Jonathan used an over-sized key to wind up Marie, The Living Doll. The effect was creepy, and the gimmick enabled her to get away with doing very little dancing.

Len said the routine might've seemed like a good idea in rehearsal, but on the dance floor it "didn't happen." Bruno, "This is the loopiest thing I've ever seen. It defies criticism. It's not a dance." Carrie Ann tried to keep it positive: "You are a risk taker. However, I'm gonna agree with the guys. Sometimes...we just make some odd choices."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...7, Bruno...7 = 22/30

Helio Castroneves & Julianne Hough
I would like to ban performances to the song "Land of 1000 Dances." The choreography is limited by a literal interpretation of the song's lyrics, which is fine for a junior high swing choir. But unless your goal is to become Master Of The Alligator or Mashed Potato World Champion, you need to pick a different song.

Julianne nailed the one thing that sells any freestyle: lifts. She and Helio had the most exciting tricks -- the most lifts of the night, period -- so I forgave their excess of synchronized hand clapping. Tom Bergeron said Helio's gold jumpsuit made him look like a "Brazilian Power Ranger."

Bruno called Helio, "Mr. Irresistible." Carrie Ann told him, "You've got technique and the entertainment factor. But you were a little rough coming out of those lifts." Len said, "Best freestyle of the night, by miles."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 29/30

Leaderboard:
55 -- Mel & Maks
54 -- Helio & Julianne
46 -- Marie & Jonathan

This week, fans get five votes per phone line or email address. I'm giving two votes to Mel & Maks for winning the Judges' Choice Round, and two to Helio & Julianne for winning the Freestyle Round. And my final vote goes to Mel & Maks for their performance during the rest of the season.

Ox Notes: November 26, 2007

An article at People.com elaborated on how the winner of Dancing with the Stars 5 will be determined. The final three couples will dance two routines -- freestyle and judges' choice -- at tonight's Performance Show, and fans will vote. At the Results Show Tuesday night, one couple will be eliminated, and the top two couples will perform a routine of their choice. That routine will be scored by the judges, and the judges' scores will be combined with the fans' votes to determine the winner.

In the same article, Cheryl Burke says she thinks Melanie Brown should win: "When she and Maks dance they have such incredible chemistry. It’s hot and steamy and that’s what ballroom is all about."

Another dancer who agrees with Cheryl is Maksim Chmerkovskiy, naturally. He discussed his competitors in an interview with Extra, and said that he doesn't think Marie Osmond deserves to be in the finale: "I think Jennie was better than Marie. Frankly, I think there are a lot of other people better than Marie."

Maks elaborated: "I know first hand that there are a lot of other celebrities on the show who went through somewhat similar situations this season and they decided not to make it public… we decided not to burden people with our personal issues."

One of Melanie Brown's issues has been juggling rehearsals for the Spice Girls tour with rehearsals for DwtS, and some of the other Spice Girls are reportedly worried that Mel will be low on energy when the tour starts. The Girls might get more done during rehearsals without interruptions by Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes.

Marie Osmond's blog has photos from last weeks' shows. Jonathan Roberts had to practice their Mambo wearing Cameron Mathison's Superman shirt because his own shirt with tear-away sleeves wasn't ready until just before showtime.

Dancing with the Stars is the most-watched English-language program in Hispanic households, although its numbers pale against those of the top ten Spanish-language programs. My personal most-watched Spanish-language program is Sabado Gigante, of course.

And the end of one season of DwtS means the beginning of speculation on the next season's participants. One of the first names being thrown out for DwtS 6? Ice Skater Kristi Yamaguchi.

TAR 12: Episode 3

The two-person teams of The Amazing Race expanded to teams of three this week: two humans and one chicken.

Teams acquired the chicken from a local tribal chief at the start of the leg. Their first clue warned them to keep their new companion until they reached the Pit Stop: "No chicken, no check in." Teams toted their surprisingly docile cluckers around in a mesh market bag.

The trios traveled approximately 100 miles by taxi to the town of Bouda Pelegtanga to find their next clue. But first Hendekea needed to make use of a public restroom. Because girls never go to the bathroom by themselves, she brought the chicken in with her.

The clue was a Detour: Shake Your Pan or Shake Your Booty. In Shake Your Pan, teams had to scoop up some mud and sift out one ounce of gold to receive their clue. It was dirty, physical work, but it had a objectively measurable goal.

In Shake Your Booty, teams had to perform a traditional dance and add their own creative moves to it in order to get a passing grade from three local judges. If the judges didn't like their interpretation, the team had to wait ten minutes before receiving their clue.

Jennifer & Nate reached Shake Your Booty first, and TK & Rachel and Azaria & Hendekea arrived in time to watch their performance. Africa's answer to Simon Cowell told Jennifer & Nate, "No creativity," and sent them to wait out their penalty.

After receiving some instructions from a costumed dancer, TK & Rachel decided they'd have better luck mining for gold. Azaria & Hendekea then went ahead with their performance and got a passing grade. They received their clue when Jennifer & Nate still had 4:47 minutes left to wait.

Even had TK & Rachel tried to dance and failed, they would've only been five minutes behind the lead team. Instead, they wandered around trying to find the location for Shake Your Pan, during which time Jen & Nate got their clue.

TK & Rachel reached the gold mining station to see Nick & Don leaving it, clue in hand. Nick told them mining for gold was "easy," which was true for them, since Don had some mining experience. But the dismayed hippies scooped up a few worthless pebbles at a time and realized that they'd made a big mistake.

Back over at Shake Your Booty, Ronald & Christina were penalized for an over-reliance on The Bump in their performance. Kynt wowed the judges with some impressive -- and utterly predictable -- baton-twirling skills. And Shana's & Jennifer's impressions of lazy pole dancers were rewarded with a clue seconds after TK & Rachel finally turned in their ounce of gold.

Eighth place team Jason & Lorena were absent through all of this because they left the Pit Stop almost 90 minutes behind the seventh team to leave (Shana & Jennifer). And since the first seven teams left within forty minutes of each other, it looked like a tall order for Jason & Lorena to catch up.

Adding to Jason & Lorena's disadvantage, Shana & Jennifer used this season's new screw-your-opponents tool, called a U-Turn. The U-Turn allows one team to send another back to complete the Detour task that they initially skipped.

The top five teams decided not to use the U-Turn, but Shana logically insisted that they seize the opportunity to knock physical threats Jason & Lorena out of the race, assuming that this was an elimination leg. Jennifer consented, although she worried about race karma coming back to bite them.

After the U-Turn, teams took a taxi to a goat market to find their next clue: a Roadblock in which one team member had to load various items, including a "potentially uncooperative goat," onto a bicycle and deliver the supplies to a specific vendor. The wobbly bike was annoying, but not as annoying as trying to navigate the crowded market stalls without speaking the local language.

The task especially freaked out Rachel, who got lost after delivering her supplies. Meanwhile, her partner TK took the opportunity to go all self-righteous about the U-Turn on the already guilt-ridden Jennifer, while Shana was doing the Roadblock: "I probably wouldn't have made that decision."

The other Jennifer displayed a similar lack of bad manners at the Pit Stop, when she and partner Nate were narrowly beaten to the mat by Azaria & Hendekea. Jennifer said, "I wanna come in first. We just really want it bad, and I just feel like everyone should get their time, and they've already had their time two times before this."

Jennifer appeared to regret the statement, after Hendekea said it would have felt wrong to just let another team beat them in a competition for $1 million. But I'm sure Azaria & Hendekea will give Jen's words some consideration when they're zipping around on the motor scooters they won for finishing first.

Shana & Jennifer reached the mat sixth, TK & Rachel seventh, and Jason & Lorena last, as expected. It was an elimination leg, and the dating couple was sent packing. Lorena said that the race taught her not to be in such a rush to get married. Given Jason's statement that "there's some kind of confinement within a marriage," she's probably going to be waiting a long time.

Next week, Ronald falls off some stilts, and Shana & Jennifer back their car in front of an oncoming bus.

Ox Notes: November 21, 2007

It's an all Dancing with the Stars edition of Ox Notes.

After being eliminated from DwtS last night, Jennie Garth writes in her blog, "I hate to say it, but I knew this was coming." She continues, "My only regret is that Derek didn't make it to the finals alongside his sister Julianne."

Derek Hough told TV Guide that he wasn't surprised by the results either: "You can't stop the juggernaut [Marie Osmond], so we knew this was probably our time."

Jennie's husband, Peter Facinelli, has some sweet quotes about his wife in the same TV Guide article. With their affectionate relationship and super cute daughters, I bet the couple is already fielding offers to star in their own reality show.

According to People's DwtS: What You Didn't See article, "The Juggernaut" was so excited when she learned that she and Jonathan Roberts would be moving on to the finals that she ran over and kissed Bruno Tonioli on the lips.

Yahoo! has a gallery of photos from last night's Results Show, while ABC News has some cute pictures of the Hough siblings as little kids.

Speaking of little kids, Joey McIntyre's wife, Barrett, gave birth to a little boy on Tuesday.

And Wayne Newton's doctor has given him medical clearance to participate in the Dancing with the Stars tour, although he'll presumably still sit out next week's finale.

Since Survivor is a clip show this week, I'll be taking a break from posting for the next few days. See you Sunday night with a recap of The Amazing Race. Happy Thanksgiving!

DwtS 5, Week 9: Results

At the beginning of Dancing with the Stars' fifth season, I never would've pegged Marie Osmond as a finalist.

The DwtS Results Show began with a recap of the Semifinals performances. Florence Henderson was sitting in the studio audience again, so I'm guessing we'll see Mrs. Brady dance next season.

The judges gave their encore to Jennie & Derek for what Len Goodman called their "breakthrough" Cha Cha Cha. This time, I think Jennie & Derek might've even added a few extra spins at the end of the routine.

The encore was followed by the first performance of the night by musical guest Avril Lavigne. She sang her new song, "Hot," and while the number didn't feature any dancers, Avril did have a star in her backing band: Jim, the rhythm guitarist from the Rock Star House Band. His wicked, high-pitched backing vocals in this rendition of Heart's "Alone" was one of my favorite moments from that series.

After the performance, Samantha Harris (TV's best reason to give the striking writers anything they want, so long as we don't have to hear Samantha ad lib anymore) asked all of the stars how they would feel to be eliminated one week before the finals. Marie said, "You'll have to drag me out of here," and Helio agreed: "It would be devastating."

Video of last night's studio audience, which included some of the cast from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, was next. One of the Makeover artists liked Jennie, while another preferred Helio.

Then it was time to announce the first couple moving on to the finale: Marie & Jonathan. Marie told Samantha, "We have the best fans in the world."

The evening's high point was another feature by Kenny Mayne, this time on what happens when the stars become addicted to dancing. In the comedic segment, Lisa Rinna, Harry Hamlin, Laila Ali, and Tucker Carlson participated in a group therapy session at "Happy Thoughts Dance Rehab." Laila and Tucker sported some oddly placed sequins, while Lisa wore garish blue eyeshadow.

Harry stole the bit with a Gary Busey-inspired performance, but Tucker had a good line: "You could cut me into pieces, and each piece would still have dance within it." Lisa was also funny, begging the therapist: "I want to stop this tanning addiction. It's staining my hands. I'm afraid it's toxic."

As if things couldn't get any better, it was time for Irish dancing legend, Michael Flatley. He lead a troop of male dancers who were all dressed as pilots. Flatley did some of his signature inhumanly fast footwork, and the studio audience went berserk.

Another pretaped segment featured members of the media who cover DwtS. Mark McGrath of Extra said, "Tom Bergeron might be the greatest live host of all time." Dayna Devon explained why Extra repeatedly aired footage of Marie fainting: "It was good television, unfortunately."

That segment was followed by the most anticipated performance of the evening. Sabrina Bryan & Mark Ballas returned to promote the DwtS tour, and they danced a Rumba, as Avril Lavigne sang her hit "Complicated." The routine was passionate and featured tons of great lifts and tricks. Had they the opportunity to perform this dance as a Freestyle in the finale, the mirrorball trophy might've been theirs.

A final prerecorded segment asked the stars what special trait they brought to the competition. Jennie said, "Realness." Marie: "Wisdom." Mel: "Fun." Helio: "Energy."

Mel & Maks were then announced as the next couple moving on to the finals, leaving Jennie & Derek and Helio & Julianne waiting to learn their fates. Tom asked Len which couple should move on, and Len replied, "Neither of these should be leaving tonight. However, if I've gotta pick one, for their more consistent performance, I'd have to say Julianne & Helio should be there next week."

Jennie & Derek looked prepared for bad news, and Tom gave it to them. Helio was moving on, and Jennie was eliminated.

Jennie said, "I had such a great time." And Derek added, "I would not have wanted this experience with anybody else." They danced off into the sunset to the refrain of Jon Bon Jovi's "Blaze of Glory."

For Monday's final Performance Show, the judges choose one dance style for each couple, and then the couples design their own Freestyle routine. Mercifully, the show is only an hour long, ahead of the gargantuan two-hour final Results Show.

Even if I didn't have the foresight to predict that Marie would make it to the finals, at least I was right about her beating Jennie. You can revisit my well-reasoned -- and completely inaccurate -- preseason predictions here.

Ox Notes: November 20, 2007

In her latest blog post, Jennie Garth is psyched about her high scoring performances in the Dancing with the Stars semifinals. About her Tango, Jennie says, "I felt crisp and sharp and clean and I enjoyed it." And after earning a perfect score for her Cha Cha Cha, she says, "I feel like I’m a Latin dancer!"

Former 90210-er Shannen Doherty explained to People why Jennie is so nervous during the performance shows: "We’re TV actors. We’re not used to performing live. We do takes and we get to mess up and we know that we’re going to have another take where we get to be perfect."

According to TV Guide's Backstage Report, Celine Dion is eager to be a contestant on DwtS, if her busy performing schedule can accommodate it. Please, crazy Celine Dion, find a way!

MTV is bringing another dance competition show to the air. Tentatively titled -- with good reason -- Randy Jackson Presents America's Best Dance Crew, the show sounds like a cross between Dance War and So You Think You Can Dance.

The Apprentice and its quasi-celebrity cast will hit the airwaves on Thursday, January 3 at 9 ET, although their stay in that slot might be temporary should the strike end and production on The Office resume.

Reality Blurred reports that the cast for The Apprentice was actually announced last month in a press conference, but news outlets kept the list secret at the network's request, even though contestants had already been seen in New York City participating in tasks for the show. So much for independent media.

In a TV Guide interview, Reaper's Tyler Labine says of his devilish costar, Ray Wise: "He is probably the coolest man alive. He's got this big Cheshire Cat grin and he stands around chewing his gum with his crazy white teeth and his L.A. tan."

TV Guide also interviewed the latest Survivor eliminated, Frosti, who says a romance with Courtney was never on his mind: "You're in the jungle, starving, dirty, surrounded by crazy people who dig graves [James] and serve lunch [Denise]."

DwtS 5, Week 9: Performances

On this week's Dancing with the Stars Performance Show, the judges awarded perfect scores to five of the eight dances, and even the worst performance got a 27. As host Tom Bergeron said in the closing minutes, "Just a quick shout out to paddles one through eight: no camera time. Sorry about that."

Ballroom Round

Marie Osmond & Jonathan Roberts -- Quickstep
In her rehearsal footage, Marie joked, "I think what I have that the other three competitors don't have is age."

Marie and Jonathan danced to "Good Morning," from Singing in the Rain. Marie smiled throughout the performance, even taking some time to point playfully at the judges. It was one of Marie's best performances to date, coming when she most needed it.

Len told her, "You bring so much joy and entertainment to this show. You are the most entertaining of all the celebrities. I thought that was perfect." Bruno felt the dance had "plenty of content." And Carrie Ann said, "That was wonderful. It was a completely different approach."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...9 = 29/30

When Bruno announced his score, Marie said, "All the boos are coming from my brothers."

Melanie Brown & Maksim Chmerkovskiy -- Viennese Waltz
Mel and Maks danced to Queen's "Somebody to love." It was a great song choice, and Maks occasionally mouthed the words as he danced. It was a beautiful dance that showed off Mel at her best. The performance managed to be cute, romantic, dynamic, and athletic -- what with Mel's cool splits near the end.

Bruno called it "fast, precise, and sexy. I've never seen a sexy Viennese Waltz before." Carrie Ann said, "I know I've been tough to win over, but you just keep surprising me." Len liked the routine's "clever choreography. I love Queen, and you're gonna be Queen B from now on!"

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Jennie Garth & Derek Hough -- Tango
Jennie said she's been torn between the show and spending time with her kids. So she took the kids to Disneyland and danced with Mickey in front of Cinderella Castle.

Derek choreographed a dense dance, with a lot of content and plenty of moves to remember. It was hard to tell if Jennie's serious face was her Tango look or her concentration look. She gave a solid performance with what seemed a tough dance.

Carrie Ann had mixed feelings: "You were so focused and so powerful. I didn't really feel the chemistry." Len disagreed, saying, "It had passion and it had energy." Bruno was impressed by the "very, very intricate choreography."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...10, Bruno...9 = 28/30

Helio Castroneves & Julianne Hough -- Fox Trot
Wearing a forest green tux, Helio danced a Fox Trot to "Ain't That a Kick in the Head." It's always a pleasant surprise when the music choices make sense for the dance, and this was a great song for a very good, very enjoyable performance. Except for one little stutter-step in the middle, Helio nailed it -- even with Julianne's sleeve hitting him in the face once or twice.

Len the Inscrutable said, "Last week you were the banana, this week you're the gherkin. It was beautiful." Bruno threatened that "if you don't make the final, I'm going to eat my boot." Carrie Ann congratulated Julianne, telling her, "You did such a great job with his technique."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30


Before the next round of dances, we were treated to some footage from "Len's Masterclass" with each of the couples. He arrived at the rehearsal studio in the official Dancing with the Stars helicopter:



With Marie, Len worked on hip action. With Helio, his feet. With Jennie, her arms. And with Mel, Len worked on her sharpness. Len briefly scared Mel when he commanded her to "Look into my eyes!"

Latin Round

Marie Osmond & Jonathan Roberts -- Mambo
This dance wasn't as good as their first of the night. It was more camp than content, which is often a sign that the choreographer is trying to cover up his partner's deficiencies. With Marie, it's sometimes hard to tell, though, since she treads the line between competent and campy so easily. At the end of the performance, Marie vaulted into brothers' arms.

Bruno called it a "Madcap Mambo. You lost your foot about five times, though." Carrie Ann said, "I was waiting for the confetti cannons and the pyro." Len told Marie, "Your hips were working. Hook you up to the national grid and you could light up Hollywood."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 27/30

Melanie Brown & Maksim Chmerkovskiy -- Paso Doble
For her Paso, Mel sported a dark red catsuit with a half-skirt on the back. Oh, and she was also brandishing a whip for the first several seconds of the dance. Dancing to the Rolling Stones' classic bullfighting anthem, "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction," Mel performed a pretty fierce Paso.

Carrie Ann asked herself, "How do you top perfection? Well, you just did!" Len sang, "You can whip me if I misbehave." And Bruno proclaimed, "Mel B: Satisfaction guaranteed!"

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Jennie Garth & Derek Hough -- Cha Cha Cha
Jennie wore a cute, short dress, as she and Derek danced to "Mustang Sally." It looked to me like she was still making some of the minor mistakes with her arms that Len had warned her about in his Masterclass. But other than that, she did a great job. She had more of a connection with Derek. There were some nice spins and back bend at the end. And, best of all, she looked relaxed and confident for the first time in weeks.

Len told Jennie, "What I thought was great was to see how you've developed as a dancer." Bruno said, "You've done it. You've got the star power!" And Carrie Ann thought "it finally all came together. That was fantastic!"

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Helio Castroneves & Julianne Hough -- Cha Cha Cha
Dressed all in red, Helio and Julianne danced to "Love Rollercoaster." Their mimickry of a rollercoaster at the beginning of the performance was a a little hokey; luckily, they're cute enough to get away with cheesy stuff like that. It was a good performance, but in the middle section of the routine, it looked to me like Julianne was doing most of the dancing.

Bruno said, "That was eye-popping vibrance, full of razzmatazz" Carrie Ann praised both dancers: "You are a star. And Julianne...you are fantastic out there." And Len made some inept analogies about the Super Bowl before saying, "The standard has been fantastic. You are the standout couple for me tonight."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Leaderboard:
60 -- Helio & Julianne and Mel & Maks
58 -- Jennie & Derek
56 -- Marie & Jonathan

My votes went to Mel and Jennie tonight. Marie is undoubtedly a good dancer, but she's just not up to the same speed as the other celebrities. Helio's dancing is good enough to qualify him for the finals, but Julianne has dominated most of their rehearsal and interview segments (and sometimes their dances, too). Though he seems really nice and likable, I don't feel as though I know Helio as well as I know Mel, Jennie, or Marie, so I'm not as invested in seeing him win.

Ox Notes: November 19, 2007

In preparation for tonight's Dancing with the Stars 5 semifinals, the couples have had to work around the stars' hectic schedules. Maksim Chmerkovskiy joked about his partner, Melanie Brown: "She’s generously given me 45 minutes to come up with (this week’s) choreography."

Tomorrow night, Sabrina Bryan & Mark Ballas return to DwtS to dance as Avril Lavigne performs her hit "Complicated" at the Results Show.

Ox reader Miriam commented last week that it looked as if Larry King blindsided Marie Osmond with a question about her son entering rehab during a recent interview. People confirms that Larry was miffed with Marie for agreeing to host the Osmond reunion show on Oprah instead of Larry King Live, and spilled the family secret out of revenge.

Ahead of tonight's new episode of Heroes, TV Guide published a funny interview with Kristen Bell and Hayden Panettiere. I only wish it had been caught on video.

The official cast list for Donald Trump's celebrity edition of The Apprentice has been released. The remarkably lame cast is composed primarily of veterans of other celebrity reality TV shows (Stephen Baldwin, Gene Simmons) and people who became famous by appearing on a reality show (Omarosa, Piers Morgan). Donald, when the celebrities on your show include the life coach from The Swan, it's time to jump ship.

Producers and writers intend to resume negotiations on November 26. The WGA strike has inspired Italian writers to consider their own strike. Meanwhile, a strike by transportation workers is taking a toll on the French entertainment industry.

With work on Saturday Night Live at a halt, NBC fired approximately 50 of SNL's supporting staff members on Friday. Saturday night, as a rerun of SNL aired on NBC, the cast of the show put on a live performance hosted by Michael Cera as a fundraiser for the fired staff members. Photos of the performance at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York City are available in the New York Times' review.

TAR 12: Episode 3

Marianna & Julia found out the hard way that, on The Amazing Race, a good deed never goes unpunished.

Teams flew from The Netherlands to Burkina Faso, specifically the hard-to-pronounce city of Ouagadougou. As teams rode in cabs from the Ouagadougou airport to the local train station, blondes Shana & Jennifer speculated that they were really being taken "to be sold to people...for money."

Teams spent the night at the train station, and Julia & Marianna danced to the music of some local musicians. 68-year-old Don watched approvingly, saying of the sisters, "They're feisty. They're hot. A little bitchy, but not bad. A guy could learn to live with it."

In the morning, all the teams caught the same train to Bingo, located somewhere in the middle of nowhere. There, they faced a Roadblock in which one team member had to get a bowlful of milk from a camel, and then drink the milk.

The instructions warned: Be mindful that camels are sensitive to fast movements and loud noises. That didn't stop Lorena from crying and screaming to Jason, "Baby, there's no more MILK!" when her camel wasn't productive enough.

Other contestants fared better, and TK was first to finish milking his camel. He gagged as he drank the milk, saying, "It was a little grainy, and a little sweet and warm." He and partner Rachel received a clue telling them to lead four camels across the savannah to a group of Tuareg nomads.

TK & Rachel were followed closely by Nick & Don, Ronald & Christina, Kynt & Vyxsin, and Jennifer & Nathan.

At that point, the remaining Roadblock teams' camels were running dry. Azaria spoke up and requested a new camel, and he and Hendekea were able to catch up to the lead pack.

When the teams turned in their four camels, they got a clue that directed them to a nearby school. There, they had a choice of Detour tasks: Learn It or Teach It. In Learn It, they had to memorize ten words in the local language, More. In Teach It, teams had to teach a young student ten words in English.

To many teams, Teach It seemed the easier task. However, many of the multisyllabic words on the list -- skyscraper, television, cowboy, and helicopter -- were not only hard to pronounce, but also objects not commonly seen on the Burkina Faso savanna.

Azaria & Hendekea, on the other hand, figured out the easiest way to finish Learn It. They each learned five of the words, lightening the workload while ensuring greater accuracy. Despite arriving at the task in sixth place, the brother and sister team was the first team to finish.

They ran through a spooky savanna rainstorm to the Pit Stop on the outskirts of a tribal village. There, Phil informed the siblings that they'd won another romantic vacation for two, this time to Bermuda.

The next five teams finished at approximately the same time, and they all arrived at the Pit Stop within minutes of each other. Ronald & Christina's speed was limited somewhat because of a Ronald had suffered a hernia at the end of the previous leg of the race.

Back at the camel-milking Roadblock, all of the remaining milkers had switched to more productive camels. Shana & Jennifer were the next pair finished, and they reached the Pit Stop in seventh place.

Julia was next to finish milking her camel, leaving Lorena in last place. Lorena's camel kicked the bowl full of milk, spilling the contents for the umpteenth time, and Lorena fell to her knees and cried.

As Marianna & Julia led their camels toward the school, Julia advised Lorena to find a camel with a baby next to it, as that one would certainly have milk.

Julia's suggestion was correct, and Lorena soon finished the task. After Lorena sobbed briefly in Jason's arms, the pair grabbed their camels and ran toward the school. Marianna and Julia were adhering to the suggestion in the Roadblock clue that camels were "sensitive to fast movement." As they walked their charges to the Detour, Jason & Lorena soon caught up.

At the school, both teams chose Learn It, but Lorena & Jason finished first. Marianna & Julia arrived at the Pit Stop in last place, where they were eliminated.

Next time, the teams dance in front of the African versions of Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno, and Shana & Jennifer do something that ticks off Lorena & Jason.

Ox Notes: November 16, 2007

Marie Osmond wrote at her blog that her partner, Jonathan Roberts, had a root canal hours before Monday night's Dancing with the Stars Performance Show.

In other DwtS health news, Wayne Newton told People that he won't be dancing at the DwtS Finale due to a heart condition.

More news from Monday night's Performance Show: Julianne Hough was wearing a diamond ring given to her by Entourage's Kevin Connolly, although Julianne still insists that they're "just friends." Assuming that's true, I am establishing the Friends of Kevin Connolly organization for anyone else interested in scoring some nice jewelry.

TV Guide has an interview with Kate & Pat, the clergy couple recently eliminated from The Amazing Race. Kate's least favorite moment on the race was falling into the water during the ditch vault: "I'm not sure there wasn't poo in there."

CMT is looking for aspiring singers to appear on their new show, Can You Duet? Greg and I do a killer rendition of "You Don't Bring Me Flowers," only I sing as Neil Diamond and Greg does his best Barbra Streisand impression.

With no scripts left to shoot, NBC has suspended contracts for actors on several series, including The Office and Bionic Woman. The other networks plan to decide what to do with their actors in the coming days.

Writer-producer Carlton Cuse crossed picket lines to resume his production duties on Lost, wrapping up the eight episodes that have already been shot.

Representatives for several late night talk shows are supposedly having secret discussions about returning to work. One rep told Variety, "Nobody wants to be the first to go back."

Finally, there are fears in Hollywood that awards shows like the Emmys and Oscars will have to make major adjustments without any writers to script awkward banter for the award presenters. Would that really be such a bad thing?

Survivor China: Episode 9

Peih-Gee's elimination from Survivor: China looked like a done deal, until she was saved by bovine intervention.

Feeling giddy after Jean-Robert was eliminated instead of her, Peih-Gee couldn't keep her mouth in check at camp. Her micromanaging and chatter made Todd feel as though he'd merely exchanged one annoying player for another.

Then the Reward Challenge brought out the worst in Peih-Gee. Teams of four had to navigate an obstacle course, with each team member carrying a traditional Chinese drum. Teams had to use the drum heads to keep a ball bouncing at all times as they traversed the course -- essentially playing hacky-sack with the drums.

If the ball hit the ground at any time, the team had to start over from the beginning. The first team to complete the course three times won a reward.

Peih-Gee's team of James, Todd, and Denise could not master the ball-bouncing technique, holding their drums at angles which made the ball bounce out of reach. Peih-Gee, the only player on her team with any finesse, was wielding the smallest drum, giving her a much smaller margin for error. But the team never changed their strategy, and they bungled along, as the other team bounced to an easy victory.

When they returned to camp, Peih-Gee unloaded on James for what she considered his lack of hustle. "My ass wasn't strollin' back to the mat every time," said Peih-Gee. "I raced back to that damn mat."

She lost all connection with reality when she told James, "I can't believe you ever accused me of giving up at challenges." She's the one who, with the aid of Jaime, threw a challenge during Week 5 in order to get rid of Aaron -- a fact to which Jaime had admitted at the subsequent Tribal Council.

James reclined in the shelter during Peih-Gee's tirade, trying to convince her to shut up and go away: "Please stop messin' with me, because any time you bring stuff up, I will quickly blast you back and make you look quite silly."

Meanwhile, Amanda, Courtney, Frosti, and Erik were enjoying their Reward: a river cruise and all the fried chicken they could eat. Frosti and Courtney flirted as Erik showed off his surprisingly realistic impression of a goat bleating.

When the well-fed foursome returned to camp, Todd filled them in on Peih-Gee's meltdown. There was no doubt that she had to go next.

At the Immunity Challenge, Jeff Probst presented the Survivors with another chance to eat. Contestants who felt confident that they didn't need Immunity to survive Tribal Council could gorge themselves on cheeseburgers and fries instead of participating in the challenge.

Those who wanted to compete for Immunity would play a memory game, in which Jeff called out a series of Chinese zodiac symbols. Contestants, standing at individual puzzle boards, used a knife to stab the corresponding painted tiles in the correct order.

The contestants who chose to eat could only do so as long as the challenge lasted.

When asked to reveal their choice, only Peih-Gee, Frosti, Erik, and Amanda were concerned enough to compete for Immunity. The rest tore into the food like a pack of hyenas. (Courtney, probably the skinniest Survivor contestant ever, feasted for the second time this episode. She has a serious metabolism.)

Erik screwed up on the very first sequence of symbols, giving him plenty of time to stand by and watch James, Todd, Denise, and Courtney chow down. Amanda lasted one more round before joining Erik on the "hungry loser" mat.

The final round was between Peih-Gee and Frosti, both of whom were twitchy, thanks to the pressure of the situation and the smell of delicious cheeseburgers. Peih-Gee got the sequence of tiles correct, but Frosti chose Rabbit when he should've chosen Rat. Thus, Peih-Gee foiled everyone's game plan for this week's elimination.

Jeff Probst told the Survivors who'd decided to eat to back away from the table. By the time the challenge ended, Todd, Courtney, and Denise had eaten a total of four cheeseburgers between them. James had eaten seven.

Back at camp, the former members of Fei Long debated whether to vote for Erik or Frosti. Both of the guys were well liked, but Frosti's string of strong challenge performances made him the bigger threat.

James and Denise were worried that Courtney's loyalties had shifted, and that they might not be able to rely on her vote. "She's lovin' the hell outta some Frosti," James told Todd.

Todd told Courtney about James' and Denise's concerns, and he asked her if she'd be able to vote against her "Survivor boyfriend," Frosti. She was noncommittal, but seemed to realize that the decision was as much a test of her loyalty as it was the elimination of a threat.

At Tribal Council, the decision was unanimous (except for Frosti, who'd voted for Erik). When Jeff Probst snuffed Frosti's torch and said his traditional, "The tribe has spoken," Frosti replied, "With cheeseburgers still on their breath!"

In his exit interview, a disappointed Frosti said, "I got beat by the tiny flight attendant, the sassy New York waitress, and the lady with the mullet."

As Frosti walked alone into the night, Jeff said to the remaining Survivors, "Now, more than ever, the ability to adapt, moment to moment, is what's going to keep you in this game. We're gonna test that right now."

The Survivors and jury members looked about in confusion as Jeff continued, "Tonight, you will not be heading directly back to camp. We have more business to attend to here." Then, the credits rolled, forcing viewers to wait another week to learn about the twist that was teased at the end of last week's show.

Next time, the contestants show off their gross scabs, and, from the looks of things, James and Todd get to shave.

Ox Notes: November 15, 2007

Marie Osmond's 16-year-old son entered rehab last week. So Marie's going through a divorce, she fainted on live television, her dad died, and now she has a teenage son in rehab. Isn't it about time to stop voting to keep her on Dancing with the Stars so she can spend some time with her family?

TV Guide has an interview with Survivor's Jean-Robert, who blindly defends his terrible game strategy. Survivor host Jeff Probst will spin the wheel for charity on tonight's episode of Wheel of Fortune.

TLC is giving Trading Spaces a makeover courtesy of the producers behind Hell's Kitchen. Part of that makeover is bringing Paige Davis back as host.

In other home makeover news, the casting director of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition says the show tries to cast families who can afford to keep their home once the show is over, rather than saddling a poor family with a mountain of debt.

Networks have been working to trim their budgets in case revenues decline due to a prolonged writers strike. Fortunately, they're starting with cutting back on travel expenses and business lunches rather than laying off employees.

Part of the reason for the strike, one writer explains, is that the sale of a $19.99 DVD only earns the writer $.04.

For an inside view of the strike from a writer's point of view, check out this blog by one of the writers of the series Moonlight (who also happens to be Greg's friend, Kira). It sounds like food deliveries really are crucial to keeping the strikers' spirits up, and they give fans a rare opportunity to interact with the people behind their favorite shows. This might be a good time to take a trip to L.A.

Ox Notes: November 14, 2007

Strike news leads off this edition of Ox Notes thanks to a memorable quote from Seth MacFarlane. In response to Fox's plan to air a new episode of Family Guy on Sunday night that was completed without his input, MacFarlane told Variety, "It would just be a colossal dick move if they did that."

Ellen DeGeneres canceled plans to film episodes of her talk show in New York next week after striking writers vowed to disrupt filming. And at a rally in L.A., Curb Your Enthusiasm's Jeff Garlin distributed porn DVDs to boost the morale of those on strike.

TV Guide updates its Strike Chart daily, and it looks as if The Office will be the first scripted show to bow out with only one new episode left to air. A number of other shows have four or fewer episodes to go.

Maureen Ryan of the Chicago Tribune's The Watcher blog talked with some Chicago writers, including ex-Ghostbuster Harold Ramis, about striking without benefit of a picket line. The post addresses the myth of the wealthy Hollywood scribe and explains one of the WGA's primary beefs: the writers' need to be compensated for DVD and online episode sales.

One of the reasons Dancing with the Stars has been unaffected by the strike is that they only have one writer. His job was to write Tom Bergeron's intro material and descriptions of upcoming shows, a job now shared by Tom and the producers.

Jennie Garth & Derek Hough have already decided what they'll dance for next week's semi-finals: Tango and Rumba. And Mark Ballas' dad, Corky, told TV Guide that his son's DwtS tour preview dance with Sabrina Bryan at next week's Results Show will be "a medley — a little bit of this, a little bit of that. And it's going to be really edgy, because now, there are no rules."

There's no end to the DwtS-related health scares. The day after he was eliminated from the show, Wayne Newton was diagnosed with pneumonia.

TV Guide has a preview of the new season of Project Runway, which begins tonight at 10 ET on Bravo.

Bravo is just one of the networks trotting out holiday specials this year. Contestants from past seasons of Top Chef -- including Tre, reportedly -- will compete in a charity cook-off.

Also in time for the holidays, if not actually Christmas-themed, ABC will debut a revamped version of the French game show, Duel. And NBC will premiere Clash of the Choirs, in which marginally famous singers assemble choirs in their hometowns and bring them to New York to compete for charity. The celebrity choir directors are Patti LaBelle, Nick Lachey, Kelly Rowland, Michael Bolton and Blake Shelton. Oh, Patti, how did you get drawn into this?

DwtS 5, Week 8: Results

This week, the Dancing with the Stars fans hit Superman with a dose of Kryptonite.

The Results Show began with its usual recap of the Performance Show, including interview footage of Helio surprising Julianne with a second kiss on the lips, which sent her into a fit of laughter. During the encore performance of their Quickstep, Helio skipped the kiss and dropped Julianne straight to the floor.

After missing her initial Results Show appearance, several weeks back, Gloria Estefan stopped by to perform one of her new songs, accompanied by her own backup dancers.

Then it was time for last night's audience to give their opinions. Bruce Jenner felt that the judges had been a little hard on Jennie. Another man said, "Oh God, Helio got to kiss Julianne at the end. I wish it was me!" I'm not quite sure if he wanted to kiss Helio or Julianne.

The announcement of the evening's first safe couple provided the night's only real surprise. Despite landing at the bottom of the judges' leaderboard, Marie & Jonathan were safe.

Jimmy Kimmel's weekly attempt at humor explored how Tom tells the two shows he hosts -- DwtS and America's Funniest Home Videos -- apart. There wasn't much of an answer, but it did allow the show to work in footage of a kid hitting a couple guys (one of whom was Helio) in the crotch with a bat.

Hip-Hop choreographer Fatima Robinson made her first televised performance in six years for a Macy's Stars of Dance routine. It was a slow number that Marie & Jonathan should consider copying for the Freestyle round if they make it to the Finale.

An interesting pre-taped segment highlighted the career paths of the pros, with plenty of cute pics of the pros as kids. Len had seen Julianne dance when she was 8, and he said that even then "you knew this is someone special."

Following that, Gloria Estefan returned to sing her hit, "Conga," accompanied by DwtS pros Maks, Julianne, Mark, and Kym. Kym's new short hairdo looked really cute.

A second, less interesting pre-taped segment featured self-help celebrities Anthony Robbins and Dr. Michael Beckwith discussing the stars' chances for victory.

As Tom and Samantha prepared to announce the next safe couple, Tom asked rhetorically if Bruno's comment that Jennie's dancing was limp had "stiffened the voters resolve." He then reminded everyone that the writers were obviously on strike.

Helio & Julianne were announced as safe, followed by Mel & Maks. That left Jennie & Derek and Cameron & Edyta in the Bottom Two.

Cameron & Edyta were eliminated, and they danced their final dance to the sappy Air Supply hit, "All Out of Love."

Next week, the couples choreograph new routines in their favorite Ballroom and Latin dance styles, and Michael "Lord of the Dance" Flatley performs at the Results Show.

Ox Notes: November 13, 2007

After taking a relative beating from the judges on last night's Dancing with the Stars Performance Show, Marie Osmond told TV Guide she's running out of gas: "My tank isn't even empty. It's fumes."

Jennie Garth, who also took some criticism from the judges, was upbeat in her latest blog post: "I can't take that home with me, if you know what I mean."

Maksim Chmerkovskiy told People that his partner, Melanie Brown, is exhausted after trying to memorize 20 routines for the Spice Girls tour in addition to the two new routines she has to learn each week for DwtS.

Don't expect to see DwtS pro Karina Smirnoff dancing in tonight's Results Show; she's recovering from plastic surgery on her nose. And her boyfriend, former contestant Mario Lopez, doesn't even watch DwtS anyway.

If you're looking to wager on Dancing with the Stars, Helio Castroneves is the new favorite to win. Probably not a bad bet considering the show's history of male winners.

Some soap opera writers have crossed the picket line in order to save their jobs. Soap opera viewership is already so low that a prolonged delay could be the end of some daytime dramas.

CBS could be in for even more trouble if their news department decides to stage its own strike on Thursday. The threat of more empty time slots could be why the network is quickly trying to cast a new season of Big Brother.

Speaking of Big Brother, Reality Blurred has a somewhat graphic story about the newly crowned winner of Big Brother Africa 2. The married man who won had consensual sex with one female cast member and is accused of raping another. The show's producers are denying that the rape occurred, even though the assault was caught on camera and broadcast live.

To fill its empty time slots, the CW is going to air mother-daughter beauty pageant show Crowned three nights a week during December and January. DwtS 2 contestant Shanna Moakler is a judge on the show.

The only new shows of this season that I'm still watching are both on the CW; I've dropped Bionic Woman, Pushing Daisies, Samantha Who?, Kid Nation, Next Great American Band, and Moonlight (mostly out of necessity on the last one, as I suddenly have reasons to leave the house on Friday nights). Of this season's new shows, Gossip Girl is undoubtedly my favorite. The writing is smart, the plot progresses each episode, and the acting is totally believable.

I'm hanging on to Reaper as well, even though none of the episodes since have lived up to the quality of the Kevin Smith-directed pilot. But the premise is clever, and Tyler Labine and Ray Wise still have moments of brilliance. Should the CW pick up the show for another season -- or if the strike resolves itself soon enough that this season can be finished properly -- the producers should consider Tim Goodman's spot on suggestions for how to improve Reaper.

DwtS 5, Week 8: Performances

As we inch closer to the Dancing with the Stars 5 finale, only two couples really look like they belong there.

Round 1

Jennie Garth & Derek Hough -- Jive
Richard Simmons came to cheer Jennie on, and he made her cry during his pep talk: "You're a show girl, so shine." Why hasn't Richard been cast for this show yet?

Jennie didn't have complete control of her upper body, and she missed a hand hold with Derek early on. Derek kept the choreography challenging, and Jennie looked like she was giving it her all. In reference to Jennie's green, beaded dress, Tom Bergeron said, "I'm craving frozen vegetables, for some reason."

Len said, "I've gotta be honest, I'm not sure if that Jive tonight is deserving of getting into the semi-finals." Bruno told Jennie, "You were limp. It wasn't sharp, and it should've been, at this point in the competition." Carrie Ann agreed: "You've gotta watch your posture. This is the second week I've mentioned it. You crumble a little bit."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...8, Bruno...8 = 24/30

Cameron Mathison & Edyta Sliwinska -- Viennese Waltz
The ABC-sponsored Super Soap weekend at Disneyland gave Cameron a chance to rally the support of his fans. And even in this elegant dance, they managed to give Cameron's fans what they want by keeping his shirt open. It was a very nice performance to the theme from Harry Potter.

Bruno gave Cameron the bizarre compliment that he looked "like a great big grey albatross." Carrie Ann said, "I really loved it. You're really good in hold." Len protested Cameron's outfit choice: "Why haven't you got a bow (tie) on? Why've you got all your chest there in a ballroom dance?" But he said of the performance, "I grew to love it more and more."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 27/30

Marie Osmond & Jonathan Roberts -- Rumba
Marie felt uncomfortable dancing something so romantic without getting permission from Jonathan's wife, Anna Trebunskaya, first. Anna arrived at the couple's practice and told Marie, "Even if you accidentally kiss him during the dance, it'll be okay."

Apart from a few bends that showcased Marie's flexibility, the dance felt slow even for a Rumba. Worse, the couple danced at arms length, ruining any chance for romance.

Carrie Ann told Jonathan, "I think you could be a little more aggressive, throwing in more moves. I know this woman can handle it." Len quipped to Marie, "I know the writers have gone on strike, but I think your hips have come out in sympathy with them." Bruno called Marie "Mrs. Robinson."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...8, Bruno...8 = 24/30

Helio Castroneves & Julianne Hough -- Paso Doble
Julianne assembled a ballroom Pit Crew for Helio, comprising Tony Dovolani, Corky Ballas (Mark's dad), and Heather Smith. In their dance, Helio & Julianne sported cool black and gold costumes complete with capes. The performance was close to great, but not quite, as it's always hard to believe Helio in the more serious dances.

Len said, "Normally, I don't like capes...but the cape worked tonight." Bruno told Helio, "Good Spanish line, incredible presence." Carrie Ann said, "What I really liked about this is your attention to detail...and that's what's going to take somebody to the top."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 27/30

Melanie Brown & Maksim Chmerkovskiy -- Tango
Mel's hubby, Stefan, stopped by practice to help make her angry and aggressive for the Tango. While they danced, he shouted out annoying things that he does around the house. The technique worked, as Mel & Maks used their sharp movements to give the first dynamic performance of the night. It was just too bad Mel was forced to Tango to Depeche Mode's "Personal Jesus" -- and in pants again, instead of a dress.

Bruno called it "a menacing Tango." Carrie Ann said, "I loved the stalking at the beginning," but noted, "It looked like you were concentrating on the steps." Len gave a detailed explanation of his experience going through puberty, finishing with, "I've become a foot man. Your feet were great this time!"

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 27/30

Round 2
Jennie Garth & Derek Hough -- Fox Trot
This performance was dreadfully slow. Jennie's arms were more graceful and controlled than during the Jive, but the Fox Trot lacked comparable enthusiasm.

Carrie Ann told Jennie, "You have a tendency to push it out a little and lead with your chin." Len said, "One of the secrets with this show is, if you get a criticism, not to let it get you down. Come back stronger." Bruno told Jennie, "You look like Veronica Lake. You have everything within you to unleash star power. For me, it still doesn't happen."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...8 = 26/30

Cameron Mathison & Edyta Sliwinska -- Cha Cha Cha
Like the super-slow version of The Rolling Stones' "Brown Sugar" that they danced to, Cameron & Edyta's performance lacked fire. Cameron's arm movements look mechanical, and his tan pants were a bit too, um, form-fitting in the front.

Len said, "I didn't find it terrible. It was a bit like painting by numbers." Bruno agreed: "It's too hard and stiff for a Cha Cha Cha." Carrie Ann told Cameron, "What you need to work on...how you move from form to form, all the in between movements."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...8, Bruno...8 = 24/30

Marie Osmond & Jonathan Roberts -- Jive
Dressed in cowboy outfits, Jonathan looked like the missing Village Person. Marie looked cute and moved well, and she sold the performance better than Jennie did during her Jive.

Bruno said the performance looked like "a rerun of Sara Evans. It was cute, it was fun, a lot of line dancing. But I didn't think there was enough Jive step for me." Carrie Ann agreed: "What you did was wonderful, but there was not a lot of Jive." Len said, "You came out and gave us fun, and I think these two are being a bit harsh."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...9, Bruno...8 = 25/30

Helio Castroneves & Julianne Hough -- Quickstep
For some reason, Helio was dressed as The Man in the Yellow Hat from Curious George. Their very bouncy Quickstep ended with Helio planting a kiss on Julianne's lips and then dropping her to the ground for comedic effect.

Carrie Ann shouted, "Yea!" Len told Helio, "You look like a great, big dancing banana. That band is fantastic. The singers are fantastic. And that was fantastic." Bruno enthused, "That was an explosive lift off for Helio. You've got the finishing line in sight!"

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Melanie Brown & Maksim Chmerkovskiy -- Mambo
Mel & Maks' Mambo was fun and energetic, and featured some cool drops.

Len said "That was so hot, I'm surprised you didn't set the smoke alarms off. Your hips? I was hypnotized." Bruno said the routine was "full on, unashamed, flirtatious fun." Carrie Ann complimented Melanie: "Maks looks like he's really having a great time, and that's a testament to how well you're doing."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 29/30

Leaderboard:
57 -- Helio & Julianne
56 -- Mel & Maks
51 -- Cameron & Edyta
50 -- Jennie & Derek
49 -- Marie & Jonathan

My votes are going to Helio & Julianne and Mel & Maks, as they gave the only finale-worthy performances of the night. Marie is likely to receive some sympathy votes, so she should be safe, putting Cameron and Jennie in danger. Based on some recent interviews and blog posts, Jennie seems like she might be ready to go home.

Tomorrow night, Gloria Estefan gives the performance she was scheduled to give a few weeks ago. Couples who make it past the elimination will receive a private lesson with Len, whom Tom called "the Yoda of the Ballroom."