Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Ox Notes: October 31, 2007

There are two big stories in TV-land today. First, of course, is Sabrina Bryan's elimination from Dancing with the Stars. After Marie Osmond and Jane Seymour spent Monday night complaining to the press that the older competitors were being judged unfairly, they have to be pleased with the results.

Jane, by the way, is recovering from her bout of food poisoning after a trip to the hospital.

Many of Sabrina's other cast members were outraged by the results. Melanie Brown told OK! that she was demanding a recount. Helio Castroneves told TV Guide, "I couldn't believe it," and former DwtSer Lisa Rinna said, "It wasn't the right time for her to go. This season's all messed up."

But perhaps the strongest response was from Carrie Ann Inaba, who cried as she told People, "This is an outrage and an upset. It’s so disappointing and heartbreaking, not to mention complete shock. How do you explain Sabrina leaving? She’s been at the top of the leader board from week one. Everyone assumed she’d be in the finale."

In the same article, Anna Trebunskaya, also crying, said, "She was one of the best performers on the show ever. I think the show might suffer a little bit because the level of dancing will go down. It’s so sad that America didn’t vote for the best dancer. She was so clearly the best."

Sabrina tried to look at the bright side of her experience during her interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live: "I was at a Spice Girl's house last night!" Apparently, Mel B had gotten bored after Monday's Performance Show and asked Sabrina to come over and hang out.

The other big story out of Hollywood is the looming writer's strike, which could go into effect tomorrow. Variety has an article giving a thorough explanation of how a strike will effect viewers and what the networks' contingency plans are.

The shows that will be effected most immediately are the late night talk shows. Not only will Jay Leno and David Letterman have to turn to reruns, but a strike would also mean no new episodes of Saturday Night Live, The Daily Show, or The Colbert Report.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

DwtS 5, Week 6: Results

On the most shocking Results Show ever, one of the best dancers was eliminated from Dancing with the Stars.

At the start of the show, Tom Bergeron announced that Jane had contracted food poisoning 15 minutes before the show went live. So when the judges announced that they wanted to see an encore of the Group Rock N' Roll dance, Tony had to dance without a partner. But he was a good sport about it.

Then the evening's musical guest, Barry Manilow, sang "They Danced" as Cheryl Burke and Louis van Amstel took to the floor. Cheryl & Louis looked great together, and kudos to Barry for being secure enough in his celebrity to let the camera linger on the dancers, and not him.

The performance was followed by reactions from last night's studio audience, which was surprisingly devoid of celebrities. One member summed up the audience's feelings about Jane's and Marie's performances: "Your dances are dull and you're out the door."

Then it was time to announce the first two safe couples of the night. Mel & Maks were given the good news first and, to Tony's surprise, Jane & Tony were also announced as safe. Since Jane wasn't available, Tony had to hug Maks.

With January right around the corner, ABC decided it had better act quickly to hype Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann. A group of dancers performed a routine that exemplified the type of choreography that will be featured on Dance War. The style was more contemporary and hip-hop influenced than anything on DwtS, and the performance was pretty cool.

Len sat quietly in the middle As Carrie Ann and Bruno taunted each other. Tom jokingly encouraged the audience to watch for promos for Len's new show, "It's Only Len."

Then Barry Manilow was back to perform his hit, "Mandy," accompanied by a lovely performance by Jonathan & Anna.

The performance was followed by footage of the celebrities asking the judges questions. Jane asked Carrie Ann, "Can you explain to us what exactly constitutes a lift, because Edyta seems to be flying all over the place?"

Carrie Ann stated that she took a point off of Cameron & Edyta's scores on two occasions when she caught them doing a lift. She explained the rule again -- two feet off the ground in a move that couldn't be done without the assistance of a partner -- and hopefully that will put an end to the lift controversy.

Len had some words of encouragement for his fellow Brit, Mel B: "We know one thing about the Americans: they believe in truth and justice. The truth is you're a great dancer. And justice will not be served unless you make it all the way."

Another video segment focused on the congenial relationships between all of the couples. In what could've been foreshadowing, Sabrina talked about what Cameron says to tease her when she looks nervous backstage at Results Shows: "You really should be nervous... [whispers] because you're going home tonight."

Then Tom told Helio & Julianne that they were safe. Samantha dramatically paused before telling Marie & Jonathan they'd have to wait until after the commercial to learn their fate. Tom protested, "That's NASTY! That's nasty."

After the commercial break, Cameron & Edyta were told they were in the Bottom Two. Jennie & Derek were safe, and so were Marie & Jonathan.

That left Sabrina & Mark in the Bottom Two, looking confused and sad.

The judges were all stunned. Len said, "There have been some bizarre things that have happened, but this takes the biscuit. This girl should be in the Finals! They are absolutely fantastic dancers." Bruno said that the viewers' votes were "madness! It's total madness! Sabrina: the most consistent. Cameron: the most improved. You've got to vote. Nobody's safe."

As the couples waited, Cameron & Edyta looked stoic, while Sabrina & Mark looked positively miserable. Finally, Sabrina & Mark were told that they were out. Boos erupted from the audience, and Carrie Ann started to cry.

Tom said, "I don't usually tip my hand here: I had you so pegged for the finale." Sabrina kept her composure and said DwtS was an "amazing opportunity" that helped her to grow as a performer. She turned to Mark and said, "Thank you so much, baby." Mark told her, "I had a great time being your partner. I love you."

Tom said, "This feels weird to say this, but head on out there for your last dance." As the couple made their way onto the floor, Tom repeated, "We are all shocked here."

Barry Manilow serenaded Sabrina & Mark with "My Eyes Adored You," and as they swayed, Sabrina could be seen mouthing, "I'm sorry," to Mark, who kissed her forehead.

Sabrina, you've got nothing to be sorry about.

Ox Notes: October 30, 2007

Jane Seymour & Tony Dovolani seem to have run out of nice things to say about the judges and their fellow Dancing with the Stars competitors. Yesterday afternoon, People ran a story in which Tony claims to have given Carrie Ann Inaba a book on professional ballroom rules, and that Carrie Ann gave their Rumba a low score in retaliation.

In TV Guide's backstage report from last night's Performance Show, Jane accused the judges of wanting to "get rid of the old one." She went on to criticize Melanie Brown & Maksim Chmerkovskiy's Rumba: "You get higher scores in this competition if you just walk around. Or you go up to the judges and you go pat, pat, on the cheek and you get ‘tens' for that."

So Jane & Tony have accused Carrie Ann of not understanding the rules and retaliating against them in her scoring, and they call claim that the couples with the highest scores don't deserve them.

The pair has chosen to ignore the fact that DwtS doesn't operate under the same rules as professional ballroom dancing so that they can indulge in paranoia and egotism. I hope I speak for many fans of DwtS when I say: Jane and Tony, shut the hell up.

In other DwtS news, Jennie Garth somehow already knows that, if she survives tonight's elimination, she'll be dancing the Rumba and Viennese Waltz next week. Helio Castroneves says of the praise his "Latin booty" earned last night: "This booty is small, but it is strong." He's also postponed his wedding to fashion designer Ali Vazquez until January.

Rapper Coolio is getting his own reality show, on Oxygen of all places.

Fox is importing the British TV show Spaced, which will be reinterpreted for America a la The Office. Since the original was created by Hot Fuzz's Simon Pegg, I've got high hopes for the US version.

And a study showed that, if you relied only on mainstream media for coverage of the 2008 presidential race, you'd think there were only five candidates running for the office: Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, and John McCain. I'll be checking in on the Democratic candidates' debate tonight on MSNBC at 9 ET to see if they're still letting guys like Chris Dodd, Bill Richardson, and Dennis Kucinich even stand on the stage.

Monday, October 29, 2007

DwtS 5, Week 6: Performances

Mel & Maks topped the Dancing with the Stars leaderboard for a second week in a row.

Sabrina Bryan & Mark Ballas -- Fox Trot
Sabrina's high energy and sharp moves were present in this more traditional dance, but they felt appropriate given the music they danced to. And even though Sabrina still can't totally mask her hip-hop background, she did execute some softer hand gestures.

Len said, "Although the performance was excellent, it was all too hard. It was too aggressive." Bruno agreed: "Now you have to work on the finesse." Carrie Ann told Sabrina, "Don't listen to them. You were feisty when you needed to be feisty, and you were smooth when you needed to be smooth."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...8, Bruno...8 = 25/30

Jennie Garth & Derek Hough -- Mambo
Jennie's still struggling with some performance anxiety issues, and her sexy cut-out dress couldn't have made her feel too comfortable. But she looked more confident than she did last week, and Derek's fun choreography seemed to help Jennie cut loose.

Bruno raved, "You've got steam heat tonight, Jennie! That's dirty dancing!" Carrie Ann told Jennie, "Finally, you totally unveiled yourself." Len said, "To progress, you've gotta come out with an exceptional performance. You did that."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 27/30

Jane Seymour & Tony Dovolani -- Jive
Everything about this performance was awkward: Jane's too skimpy outfit, her ballerina arms, her lack of bounce, and the super slow version of David Bowie's "Modern Love." Jane & Tony's Jive was as cool as my old Junior High science teacher trying to use contemporary slang: "Boy, that Jane is a fine-looking shorty. She can really get jiggy with it."

Carrie Ann told Jane, "You brought the energy to the floor. Some dances don't bring the best out in people. I think that you're better than this dance." Len said, "It was a little bit like a ballerina Jive. It wasn't down and dirty." Bruno agreed, "It wasn't your most comfortable dance."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...7, Bruno...7 = 22/30

Cameron Mathison & Edyta Sliwinska -- Samba
Edyta's fondness for Pocahontas surfaced again as she and Cameron dressed in a Native American theme that required an explanation. Their dancing didn't offer one, and neither did their song's Spanish lyrics (as far as I could tell), so the costumes just distracted from a slow but otherwise solid Samba.

Len said, "It was good in parts... but for me, for some reason, you didn't do what you set out to do." Bruno said, "I've never seen Captain Smith and Pocahontas doing a Samba." Carrie Ann appreciated the thematic choice: "I felt that it was really primal. I got it, and I loved it."
Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...8, Bruno...8 = 25/30

Melanie Brown & Maksim Chmerkovskiy -- Rumba
Mel said she liked the love-hate nature of the Rumba, as it seemed to describe her relationship with Maks. On the floor, it seemed like more love than hate, and both of them grinned through most of the dance. The romantic performance ended with Mel sitting on Bruno's lap, Maks whispering in Carrie Ann ear, and Len left alone in the middle shrugging his shoulders.

Bruno said, "That wasn't a dance; that was a cliffhanger. Excellent." Carrie Ann said, "Mel, I was mesmerized.That's the Rumba I've been waiting to see all season." Len said, "That routine was perfected, inspected, dissected, and, as far as I'm concerned, it won't be rejected. It was fantastic."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Marie Osmond & Jonathan Roberts -- Paso Doble
In case you'd forgotten that Marie fainted on last week's show, Jonathan choreographed a number of moves that required Marie to lay motionless on the floor. As a joke, it wasn't that clever, nor did it make for an exciting performance. When she was upright and mobile, Marie did a good job embracing the spirit of the Paso.

Carrie Ann confessed, "It was a little uncomfortable to see you down again. But it was still a nice performance." Len said, "It was a very dramatic start. Then there was a pause, like you were a gypsy around a camp fire, cooking your sausages." Bruno told Marie, "You started out like Catherine Zeta Jones, and you ended up like Catherine Zeta Cranky."

Tom Bergeron told Bruno, "Catherine Zeta Cranky? I've never seen you reach that far."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...8, Bruno...7 = 23/30

Helio Castroneves & Julianne Hough -- Cha Cha Cha
After last week's attempt at drama, Fun Helio was back, dancing to James Brown's infectious "Get Up Offa That Thing." Helio & Julianne's routine was pure entertainment, and in their '70s-inspired outfits, it bordered on goofy. But this is the realm in which Julianne does some of her best choreography -- and in which Helio is most comfortable performing.

Len told Helio, "Last week, you tried to be something you're not. This week, you've come back as the Helio we all love." Bruno said, "You're back in the race." Carrie Ann told Helio, "The Latin booty was working overtime."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...10, Bruno...9 = 28/30

Group Rock N' Roll
Christian Perry choreographed what he called a "Rug Cutters Rumble," in which the Greasers (Helio & Julianne, Mel & Maks, Jane & Tony, and Sabrina & Mark) faced off against the Jocks (Cameron & Edyta, Marie & Jonathan, Jennie & Derek) in a good, old-fashioned dance fight. Too bad most of the blood that was shed in rehearsal came from the dance partners injuring one another, and not from members of the opposing clique.

Dressed like extras from Grease, the couples danced to "Rockin' Robin." Helio & Julianne executed the best trick, which I guess means the Greasers won the dance fight. The routine ended in a weird position with the girls hanging from the guys' waists, staring up at their butts.

Leaderboard:
30 -- Mel & Maks
28 -- Helio & Julianne
27 -- Jennie & Derek
25 -- Sabrina & Mark, Cameron & Edyta
23 -- Marie & Jonathon
22 -- Jane & Tony

I agree with the judges that Mel & Maks had the best performance of the night, although I'm willing to toss a couple of votes to Helio for returning to his old self. Marie & Jonathan and Jane & Tony will probably wind up in the Bottom Two, and it's a toss up which pair will be eliminated.

Ox Notes: October 29, 2007

Here's what dances you can expect to see on tonight's episode of Dancing with the Stars: Jennie's Mambo, Marie's Paso Doble, Mel's Rumba, Sabrina's Fox Trot, Helio's Cha Cha, Cameron's Samba, and Jane's Jive.

Jane, who insists she's "so over" Carrie Ann pointing out her illegal lift two weeks ago, worked a dig at the judge into tonight's group Rock N' Roll routine: "I decided, especially after the incident with Carrie Ann, I wanted to lift higher than anyone else." Time to let it go, Jane.

Former DwtS contestant Joey Fatone will be dressed at Dracula when Ray Parker Jr. stops by The Singing Bee on Tuesday night to perform his Ghostbusters theme song. And OxPal Imee pointed out and E! poll where you can vote on who's wearing the better dress, Cheryl Burke or Stacy Keibler.

TV Squad has a list of its 10 All-Time Scariest TV Characters. I find the organ-harvesting Vidiians on Star Trek: Voyager particularly terrifying, although the opening theme music for The Twilight Zone was enough to send me running when I was a kid.

Brian Lowry from Variety wrote about the difficultly of writing about TV without spoiling the plot for readers in the age of DVR. Avoiding spoilers is especially challenging for viewers like me who don't like to watch episodes on the computer and have to wait forever for shows to be released on DVD (I'm looking at you, Battlestar Galactica and The Wire).

Friday, October 26, 2007

Ox Notes: October 26, 2007

According to an article at TV Guide, it sounds like everyone in the cast of Dancing with the Stars is very fond of Mark Cuban. And while Jane Seymour says in her most recent blog post that she's "so over" Carrie Ann Inaba pointing out a lift in her Tango, the rest of the post -- and the fact that she's still writing about it more than a week later -- indicates that she's still pissed.

If Dancing with the Stars gets its own video game, why not make a video game of Hell's Kitchen?

Lindsay Lohan's mom, Dina, starts filming her reality show on October 30. Get out while you still can, Ali!

ABC has ordered more episodes of Dirty Sexy Money, and the CW has ordered more Reaper.

TV Guide posted the rest of their interview with Jensen Ackles.

AMC is jumping on the sci-fi horror bandwagon with 99 Stories, while SciFi is developing the supernatural dramedy Warehouse 13.

And fans of House can spend the weekend wondering if Hugh Laurie abruptly leaving the set is a sign of trouble for the show.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Survivor China: Episode 6

Last week, the Zhan Hu tribe messed up everyone's plans by throwing a challenge. This week, they accidentally saved themselves by actually trying to win.

After Aaron's ouster, James tried to make the best of his time with Zhan Hu, before his seemingly inevitable elimination. He tried to ingratiate himself to the tribe, hoping they might have a change of heart and decide not to throw the next challenge.

Meanwhile, at Fei Long, Todd enlisted the help of his henchwoman, Amanda, in the search for the hidden Immunity Idol. He confessed that he had several clues about its whereabouts, but hadn't had any luck locating it.

Both teams met at the Reward Challenge, where the original members of Fei Long learned that they'd lost one of their own, Aaron, at the previous Tribal Council. For the challenge, team members had to take turns searching empty buildings for eight puzzle pieces that, when arranged properly, revealed a Chinese proverb.

For some reason Fei Long decided to sit Courtney, Amanda, and Denise in a challenge that required neither speed nor strength and was only for reward, anyway. That meant that all three women would have to perform at the Immunity Challenge, later. It was a strategic blunder that they've made before, and this time, it would come back to haunt them. (Seriously, I can't understand why her teammates ever let Courtney participate in the Immunity Challenges, when they know -- heck, she knows -- she's the biggest liability on the team.)

As the Survivors searched for puzzle pieces, Peih-Gee and Sherea wound up in the same room together. When Peih-Gee told her former tribemate that Zhan Hu had thrown the last Immunity Challenge in order to save Frosti and her, Sherea ignored her.

Fei Long squeaked out a victory by getting the puzzle pieces to spell out, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Their reward was a trip to the Charmin Tea House for some snacks, a bath, and access to as much quilted bath tissue as their chafed butts desired.

Fei Long kidnapped their former tribemate, James, to whom Jeff Probst had given another Hidden Immunity idol clue, which had to then be given to a Fei Long member. Todd quickly pulled James aside and asked him for the clue. James consented, after Todd assured him that it was part of a plan designed to save James.

With the next clue to the location of the hidden Immunity Idol, Todd finally figured out where it was. He and Amanda got to work probing the tiles of the bus-stop-shelter-looking-thing that marked the location of the camp. Unfortunately, Frosti joined in out of curiosity and noticed when Todd dislodged the Immunity Idol.

Amanda and Todd brought Frosti down to the river and threatened to kill him, before deciding that it was less messy just to trust him. And Frosti was happy to have a piece of information that made him part of the "in" crowd on his new tribe.

James, having noticed the commotion, asked Todd if they'd found the Idol. Todd handed the Idol to James and explained his plan: Fei Long was going to win the next Immunity Challenge -- which shouldn't be hard since Zhan Hu was planning on throwing it anyway (now with James' help). When Jaime, Peih-Gee, and Erik inevitably voted for James at Tribal Council, he would present the Immunity Idol and use his vote to send Jaime home.

Just to make sure that everyone who mattered understood the importance of winning the challenge, Todd pulled Denise and Courtney aside and let them in on the plan.

There was just one problem with an otherwise brilliant plan. When Zhan Hu got back to camp after the Reward Challenge, Peih-Gee told Jaime and Erik about Sherea's cold response. They'd noticed that Frosti wouldn't made eye contact with them. The trio decided to scrap their plan to save Frosti and Sherea by throwing the challenge, and instead they decided to try winning.

As if Zhan Hu's sudden desire to win wasn't bad enough for Fei Long, they arrived to find the most dreaded of all Immunity Challenges: The Gross Food Challenge. The first team to four points would win.

It's the kind of challenge designed for the most stubborn of contestants, and Sherea and Jean-Robert are about as stubborn as they come. But since they'd participated in the Reward Challenge and had to sit out, Fei Long's hopes rested on the frail shoulders of Amanda and Courtney.

Frosti was first up for Fei Long, facing off against Peih-Gee. Their challenge was to eat ten chicken hearts as quickly as possible. Frosti earned a point for Fei Long and did a little victory jig as Todd's plan went into effect.

Courtney was up next, doing battle against Jaime in a contest to eat three eels, with heads attached. The race was close, but Jaime proved the faster of the blondes. The score was tied, 1-to-1.

After two relatively tame offerings, the food items up for consumption started to get really weird. Amanda and Erik had to each eat three baby turtles, shell and all. Erik narrowly won, giving Zhan Hu the lead 2-to-1.

Then, James was up against Denise, in what should've been an easy victory for Fei Long. Only they had to eat the single most disgusting food item in the history of the world: balut, an almost fully-developed chicken fetus boiled in its own shell.

Denise screamed and took a bite of the feathery monstrosity, as James pretended to gag on his. But Denise really was struggling and couldn't bring herself to swallow any of the baby chicken. She looked at James and said, "I'm sorry." Out of mercy for his buddy, Denise, James gave up on his disgusted act and easily downed the balut.

Frosti had one last chance to save Fei Long, by eating a "thousand-year-old egg" faster than Erik. But Frosti was a few seconds too slow, and Zhan Hu won Immunity. James hung his head, as he watched Fei Long shuffle back to their camp.

It seemed obvious to Todd and Amanda that Sherea should be voted out, and the told Denise, Frosti, and Courtney about their plans. But Courtney wanted to get rid of Jean-Robert instead, and Todd wondered if placating Courtney might be more important than getting rid of Sherea. But Amanda argued that it was important to make sure the original Fei Long had more members than Zhan Hu at all times, since the merge could come at any point.

At Tribal Council, Sherea and Courtney took potshots at Jean-Robert. Courtney also let the rest of her tribe know that she felt like an outsider, making her point by joining Sherea in voting for Jean-Robert -- even though she knew he wasn't going home, yet.

The rest of the tribe voted for Sherea, who consoled herself by saying she was eliminated because "they knew they couldn't beat me." Not really, Sherea, but it's always good to have a healthy self-opinion.

Next week, Courtney continues to pout, and the tribes merge.

Ox Notes: October 25, 2007

Mark Cuban posted his thoughts on his Dancing with the Stars experience at his blog, and equates the feelings to those of being the new kid in the neighborhood. Now that he has some free time, perhaps Mark can help Cheryl Burke sort through her laundry.

When DwtS returns on Monday night, Jane Seymour will be dancing the Jive. She says the Jive makes her "think of soldiers and their gals, sipping sodas and having fun in the moment," so perhaps she and Tony Dovolani will go a little retro with their routine.

Tom Bergeron warns any of the remaining contestants thinking of ways to garner sympathy votes: "I don’t know if you can faint after someone has already fainted, but you can try other things."

The cast of Project Runway 4 has been announced. I'll be rooting for Steven from Chicago, of course.

ABC has ordered more episodes of Samantha Who? and has set return dates for October Road and Notes From the Underbelly. Also, Fox has ordered more Back to You.

Ahead of tonight's new episode of Survivor, check out this interview with Aaron, who was ousted when his team threw a challenge.

Also just in time for tonight, TV Guide has an interview with Jensen Ackles, aka Dean Winchester on Supernatural. If you've never seen the show before, head to iTunes and purchase last week's episode, "Bad Day at Black Rock." It's an hilarious example of Supernatural at its best.

If that episode doesn't convince you to watch Supernatural, perhaps Jensen Ackles' singing will:

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Ox Notes: October 24, 2007

Backstage reports from TV Guide and People focused on the lingering anxiety surrounding Marie Osmond's fainting spell on Monday night's Dancing with the Stars Performance Show. For Marie's part, she doesn't seem concerned, although she appreciated Jonathan Roberts' assurances that things could be worse: "Of course – he couldn’t come up with anything that would actually be worse – but he thinks there’s got to be something!"

According to Jennie Garth's blog, she was really keen on the canary yellow dress she wore this week.

The cast of the newest season of The Amazing Race has been announced, and it includes a couple of dating Goths.

In order to focus on avoiding a strike, the Writers Guild of America has stopped trying to unionize reality TV show writers. Reality shows may be where many of the writers end up working in the event of a strike.

Also ahead of the strike, ABC has ordered more episodes of Pushing Daisies, and CBS has ordered more Moonlight.

The Chicago Tribune has the scoop on how you can get free tickets to a screening of the SciFi Channel movie Battlestar Galactica: Razor.

And November 4 starts a week of "green" programming on NBC. In addition to news specials, the network worked environmental themes into their scripted programs in some creative ways. My favorite is Alec Baldwin's character on 30 Rock developing an obnoxious environmental mascot called Greenzo. He's no substitute for the peacock.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

DwtS 5, Week 5: Results

On a night when Dallas beat my Chicago Bulls in preseason basketball, billionaire owner Mark Cuban was the only loser in the Mavericks organization. He and Kym became the latest couple cut from Dancing with the Stars.

After a recap of the Performance Show performances and medical emergencies, Mel & Maks were given the judges' encore for their Samba. The two giggled throughout their sharp performance.

The encore was followed by Jennifer Lopez, who performed a song from her new album accompanied by her own dancers. Due to a family illness, J. Lo's two numbers had been taped on Sunday, which made me wonder where they got a full studio audience on such short notice.

After the performance, last night's studio audience weighed in with their comments. Heather Mills said what many viewers thought when Marie hit the ground: "At first, I thought it was a joke. I thought, 'That's the best drop I've ever seen in my life!' And then suddenly she wasn't moving." Florence Henderson said, "I thought Jennie deserved higher marks," and Tori Spelling agreed: "I knew she could dance. I didn't know she could dance like this."

Then Sabrina & Mark and Mel & Maks were announced as the first two couples moving on to next week.

After a break, Samantha interviewed Marie & Jonathan and Helio & Julianne backstage. Marie joked about last night: "What fell quicker: my body or the scores?" And, when asked if his low scores meant he was heading in the wrong direction, Helio said, "I'm a racecar driver, and we only go one direction: left."

Next week, the couples will take part in the season's first group dance: a rock n' roll number choreographed by Christian Perry. The choreographer and several other dancers demonstrated some of the moves he'll be including in the performance. The demonstration dance may have marked the first time anyone's done the Lindy Hop to Fall Out Boy.

Following that, Jennifer Lopez returned to perform her jock jam "Let's Get Loud," accompanied by DwtS pros Karina, Derek, Cheryl, Mark, Alec, Julianne, Edyta, and some other guy.

The the pros offered some insight into how they choreograph their routines each week. Kym develops her dance in private before presenting it to Mark, and Edyta listens to each new song "about fifty times before I actually start think about any steps." In contrast, Maks creates the whole routine in the studio with Mel.

Derek offered this tip: "The key to choreographing a good routine is... you gotta be a good choreographer."

Then, Cameron & Edyta were told they were safe.

After a break, Samantha was backstage with Mel & Maks and Mark & Kym. Samantha asked Mel, "Who do you think it will be [in the bottom two]?" The question drew boos from the other stars and dancers waiting backstage, and Samantha admitted it was a bad question. Mark said of his chances, "It's out of my control now."

One final clip package focused on the stars and how they manage their day jobs. Marie admitted, "It's starting to take its toll." Mel said, "Your body and your mental stuff is going nuts." But Mark promised, "If I can't out-talent them, I'm going to out-work them."

Then Jennie & Derek, Marie & Jonathan, and Helio & Julianne were told that they were safe, leaving Mark & Kym and Jane & Tony in the Bottom Two.

Tom asked Len a question he normally deflects: "Who would you want to see back?" Len said it was a choice between fun (Mark) and class (Jane), "And, if I have to make a decision, I always go with class and elegance."

Tom announced the voting results, and Mark & Kym were out. The couple got a standing ovation from the crowd and judges. Mark thanked everyone on the staff and even shook hands with the judges on the way to his last dance with Kym.

After finally running out of music about being sad or never dancing again, the band played "I Think We're Alone Now," as the credits rolled.

Ox Notes: October 23, 2007

TV Guide's backstage report has details on what led to Marie's collapse last night on Dancing with the Stars. Smoke from the wildfires surrounding Los Angeles had been aggravating Marie's asthma all day, and she'd forgotten to bring her inhaler to the show. Producer Conrad Green said Marie would be examined by doctors today.

Fellow contestant Jane Seymour was also struggling with the wildfires: her husband, James Keach, ignored an evacuation order and stayed behind to protect their Malibu home.

The fires brought an end to the filming of an episode of 24, and currently threaten the bed & breakfast owned by Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott. Fans of MTV's The Hills will be relieved to know that Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag's house has been spared.

Viva Laughlin was not so lucky. Cop Rock: Las Vegas got canned after only two airings, and will be replaced this Sunday by a CSI rerun. The latest season of The Amazing Race debuts as its permanent replacement on November 4.

And I've got a new reason to watch Sportscenter: the hilarious Rick Reilly has signed on to do on-air commentary for ESPN.

Monday, October 22, 2007

DwtS 5, Week 5: Performances

One of the stars really got down tonight on Dancing with the Stars. Just not in a good way.

Marie Osmond & Jonathan Roberts -- Samba
Marie & Jonathan's Samba was well-executed and cute, but lacked sizzle. Marie's unflattering dress was ruffled in all the wrong places, and its robin's egg blue color contributed to the performances cutesy vibe.

As Len explained why the Samba is difficult for amateurs to master, Marie began breathing heavily and slumped to the ground. Tom Bergeron immediately said they'd be back after a commercial break as the audience gasped and the judges looked on in concern. The HD feed stayed with the show long enough to hear the band kick in with their standard outro music.

After returning from commercial, an alert Marie stood backstage with Jonathan waiting to get their scores from the judges.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...7, Len...7, Bruno...7 = 21/30

Backstage with the couple, Samantha Harris made her first potentially inappropriate remark since returning from maternity leave: "If you thought fainting would get you 10s, it didn't work." Marie chuckled and said, "No, you don't plan those things." Then she explained that she occasionally passes out when she gets winded, and apologized for spooking everyone.

Jane Seymour & Tony Dovolani -- Rumba
Jane & Tony's Rumba seemed a little low key after the drama that preceded it. But Jane moved beautifully, and she looked stunning in an open-backed red dress.

Bruno gushed over Jane: "It was wonderful. You looked like Edyta at times." Carrie Ann noted, "There is a bit of a problem on your spots on your turns." Len told Jane, "You're really classy the way you dance."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 26/30

Mark Cuban & Kym Johnson -- Samba
Mark & Kym danced to the "I Dream of Jeannie" theme song, with Kym dressed as Jeannie. Mark dressed as a nerd, which didn't make sense since Jeannie's master was an Astronaut. Despite that, Mark did move better, now that he's decided to just have fun and not worry so much about the judges' scores.

Carrie Ann said, "I actually liked it. The content was there as well. The only thing that was really lacking...was the technique." Len told Mark, "Get that lamp, rub it hard, and hope that Jeannie sorts your feet out." Bruno said, "It was your most entertaining dance to date."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...7, Len...7, Bruno...7 = 21/30

Sabrina Bryan & Mark Ballas -- Rumba
Sabrina's dance was much more fluid than Jane's, and more romantic as well -- especially when Mark put his face in Sabrina's cleavage at the end of the routine.

Len said, "Your strength is [that] you've got no weaknesses. For me, there was one or two over-the-top poses and postures going on." Bruno countered, "A good trick is a good trick. It was a totally grown up, ripe, womanly performance." Carrie Ann told Sabrina, "Normally, you knock us over. Tonight, you gently beckoned us in. You're just hitting the edges of your turns a little hard."

Backstage, Sabrina took Len's comments in stride: "I think Len has so many amazing comments, and they're what keep getting us better each week."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...10 = 28/30

Jennie Garth & Derek Hough -- Samba
Derek took Jennie to a Hip-Hop choreographer to help her learn to "shake her fun stuff." Jennie did an admirable job shakin' it, but it's still apparent that acting sexy is unnatural to her. Still, the routine's fast turns and variety of moves made up for any awkwardness.

Bruno said, "This Samba had so much content, it was almost like How-To-Samba. Performance-wise, you stalled a little bit." Carrie Ann agreed, "Tonight is just a rough night. You were trying to give us a lot more sexy than you're used to and you're comfortable with, and I appreciate that." Len said, "I thought it was far better than these two did."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...9, Bruno...8 = 25/30

Helio Castroneves & Julianne Hough -- Rumba
Helio's black, sparkly turtleneck drew attention to the problems in his performance: hunched shoulders and effeminate arm movements. If Julianne hadn't looked so beautiful, the dance would've been a loss.

Carrie Ann told Helio, "I didn't feel your spirit in this dance, and your lines were a bit awkward this week." Len quipped, "I've seen more romance at the dentist." Bruno told Helio, "You looked in pain."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...7, Bruno...8 = 23/30

Melanie Brown & Maksim Chmerkovskiy -- Samba
Intercontinental travel must not have left Mel & Maks with much time to craft a proper wardrobe. Nude-colored dresses and shirts with neon pink and yellow racing stripes are never a good idea. Bad outfits aside, they gave the most energetic and loose Samba of the night, complete with Mel doing the splits.

Len, who's apparently never eaten an M&M before, said, "M&M, isn't it? Fruity, sweet, delicious." Bruno said, "That was full of excitement. For me, the best Samba of the night." Carrie Ann went one step further: "That was my favorite dance you've done this season."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...9, Bruno...10 = 29/30

Cameron Mathison & Edyta Sliwinska -- Rumba
For their routine, I think Edyta mistakenly donned the outfit she'll be wearing in the upcoming Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The routine was loaded with more tricks than any of the night's other routines, after last week's crackdown on lifts by the judges. While the tricks added "Wow!" factor, it meant that Cameron got away with doing little dancing, at times.

Bruno gushed, "Incredible passion." Carrie Ann said, "Emotionally, I thought you guys aced this," but noted that Edyta's foot came off the ground during the second trick. Len appreciated Cameron's improvement, but warned, "Edyta, don't keep doing those one-legged spins. They're gettin' on my nerves."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 26/30

Leaderboard:
29 -- Mel & Maks
28 -- Sabrina & Mark
26 -- Jane & Tony, Cameron & Edyta
25 -- Jennie & Derek
23 -- Helio & Julianne
21 -- Marie & Jonathan, Mark & Kym

Apart from Mel & Maks' Samba and Sabrina & Mark's Rumba, none of the performances made a lasting impression on me. While Mark & Kym and Marie & Jonathan could wind up in the Bottom Two, a few minutes under the bright red spotlight might be what it takes to wake Helio & Julianne up and get them back to the top of the leaderboard next week.

Ox Notes: October 22, 2007

Las Vegas odds makers updated the betting odds on the remaining Dancing with the Stars contestants now that their preseason favorite to win, Floyd Mayweather, has been eliminated. Carrie Ann Inaba told People that Sabrina, Helio, Jane, and Cameron are her picks to win.

Two_left_feet, a poster at Dance-Forums, figured out who's dancing what on tonight's Dancing with the Stars Performance Show. Jennie, Marie, Melanie, and Mark will Samba, and Sabrina, Helio, Jane, and Cameron will Rumba.

Former DwtS contestant Lisa Rinna has started a fitness class called Cardio Ballroom with her pro partner on the show, Louis van Amstel. Meanwhile, Lisa's fellow Season 2 contestant Stacy Keibler isn't really up to anything.

Fox's Next Great American Band debuted on Friday to an audience of less than 4 million. I plan to keep watching it as long as Light of Doom -- the prepubescent Iron Maiden -- is on the show.

NGAB's dismal debut comes at a time when networks are turning more of their Friday and Saturday night programming over to reruns, as viewers are using those nights to catch up on shows they recorded earlier in the week.

And a revised cast list for Donald Trump's celebrity edition of The Apprentice has surfaced, including Marilu Henner, Stephen Baldwin, and Gene Simmons. NBC's lawyers had the good sense to override Trump's request to cast LiLo's unstable dad, Michael Lohan.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Survivor China: Episode 5

Peih-Gee and Jamie established a new Survivor maxim: when the producers mess with you, you mess back.

Before producers thrust a big twist upon the tribes, romance was brewing at both camps. At Zhan Hu, Jaime confirmed her affection for Erik by telling him about the hidden Immunity Idol. And at Fei Long, human action figure James admitted to have a certain appreciation for the hard working lunchlady, Denise: "If Denise was 10 years younger, or if I was older -- whichever way -- Denise would be in trouble."

The lovebirds were interrupted when a boat pulled up at each camp. Chinese fishermen handed each tribe a note instructing them to choose two members of the opposing tribe to join their own.

Fei Long chose Frosti and Sherea because of their strong performances in challenges. Then the tribe -- correctly assuming that the other tribe would be receiving a similar message -- steeled themselves for the likely departure of James and Aaron.

Zhan Hu selected James and Aaron, and immediately started celebrating the addition of two members to their ranks. "Power really shifted to our tribe today," bragged Peih-Gee.

It never occurred to the members of Zhan Hu that Fei Long might have gotten the same note. Not when their boat left, and not when a second boat arrived without James or Aaron. The depleted Zhan Hu tribe thought the producers were just giving them the gift of two strong members.

Only when they were handed the second note, instructing them to hand over Frosti and Sherea, did they realize that their good fortune came with a price.

After swapping tribe members, both tribes celebrated with a basket of food and wine. But Peih-Gee never stopped thinking about the game, and she pulled Jaime aside to discuss strategy.

If Zhan Hu won the upcoming Immunity Challenge, then Fei Long was sure to vote off Frosti or Sherea. Assuming that the tribes would merge when there were ten Survivors left in the game -- and assuming that Zhan Hu won the next two Immunity Challenges -- Zhan Hu would enter the merge with only three original members.

However, if Zhan Hu lost the next two Immunity Challenges on purpose, Peih-Gee, Jaime, and Erik could get rid of James and Aaron, and Zhan Hu would enter the merge with five original members to Fei Long's five.

In other words, by throwing the next two challenges, Zhan Hu could neutralize the twist and garner the same net effect as if they'd won the two challenges and lucked into Fei Long voting out its two strongest members

At the Immunity Challenge, Erik & Aaron (Zhan Hu) and Jean Robert and Frosti (Fei Long) exhausted themselves diving for underwater puzzle pieces and dragging them to shore. Apparently, Peih-Gee and Jaime hadn't filled Erik in on the plan ahead of time.

Onshore both teams began assembling their puzzles at nearly the same time: Peih-Gee, Jaime, and James for Zhan Hu, and Sherea, Denise, and Todd for Fei Long. But Jaime and Peih-Gee giggled uncontrollably and blundered about, with Jaime going to far as to discretely pitch one of their puzzle pieces into some tall grass. Only host Jeff Probst suspected they were tanking the challenge; everyone else just thought they were idiots.

Working by himself, James couldn't outsolve Fei Long's puzzle masters, and Zhan Hu lost, badly.

Back at camp, a confused Erik confronted the still giggling Jaime and Peih-Gee: "What the hell was that?" Jaime asked Erik, "Could you not tell we were throwing it?" Evidently, Erik couldn't. He didn't approve of what they'd done, but he wasn't going to turn against them, since their plan wasn't without merit.

Later, Peih-Gee asked a grumpy James if he'd like to stay in the game at Aaron's expense. James replied, "Send my ass home." But Jaime felt that Aaron's social connections with the members of Fei Long made him dangerous.

At Tribal Council, Jeff Probst got Jaime to confirm that they'd thrown the challenge, and James said that he didn't want to stay on a team that was happy about losing. But the original members of Zhan Hu stuck with their plan and voted out Aaron.

After being eliminated, Aaron said, "I'd rather still be on that island with those people, even though I don't like them anymore."

Next time, prepare to leave the room when the Survivors endure a gross food challenge.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Ox Notes: October 19, 2007

Fox's The Next Great American Band premieres tonight at 8 ET. Even though the producers are promising more talented musicians than they get on American Idol, Reality Blurred notes that sticking it on Friday night isn't an indicator of confidence.

Judge John Rzeznik told TV Guide what he's looking for in The Next Great American Band.

In other musical competition news, CMT will run Gone Country in January, in which non-country artists try to start a country music career. With a line up that includes Bobby Brown, Twisted Sister's Dee Snider, and rapper Sisqo, how can I not watch?

Private Practice, The Big Bang Theory, and The Unit have all been picked up for full seasons.

And due to the overwhelming stress of the dog-adoption scandal she got herself into, Ellen DeGeneres canceled the Friday taping of her show. Kudos to Jane Seymour for publicly handling her mother's death with more grace and composure than Ellen's shown after someone took her hairdresser's dog away.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Ox Notes: October 18, 2007

Sabrina Bryan and Mark Cuban wrote about their experiences performing on Dancing with the Stars this week. And TV Guide caught up with Julianne and Derek Hough's mom, Marriann Nelson, about how her kids got into ballroom dancing.

Cheryl Burke is giving the Travelocity Gnome a run for his money in this MSNBC article about her extensive travels. Her best travel tip: save money on room service by ordering off the kids menu. (Thanks, again, to Imee for the link).

I really liked this quote Wade Robson from Entertainment Weekly's Results Show recap: "If you Googled 'lost in forest at stroke of midnight not scared just euphoric oh but s--- there's a troupe of zombies HOW DO I BLEND IN,' you would probably get a complete YouTube listing of Wade Robson-orchestrated dances."

Here's an interview with Dave Cruser, the contestant most recently ejected from Survivor: China.

CW has canceled Online Nation, which was finishing in 27th place in its time slot on Sunday night's to the likes of VH-1 reruns of America's Next Top Model. It's been replaced by reairs of Aliens in America.

Sci-Fi has greenlit a pilot for Revolution, a futuristic action-drama they hope can take the place of Battlestar Galactica when it wraps.

Debi Mazar, Aida Turturro, and Karen Duffy are developing a talk show they've described as the New Jersey version of The View. Am I wrong for wanting to watch that?

And here's a link to video of Dennis Kucinich emptying his pockets on The Colbert Report. He was funny enough to earn my vote.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Ox Notes: October 17, 2007

Be very grateful that Floyd Mayweather left Dancing with the Stars when he did. According to People's backstage report from Monday's Performance Show, he and Karina were going to wear afro wigs if they performed next week. People filed a report from last night's Results Show as well.

TV Guide had plenty of time to gather material during last night's extra-long Results Show taping. In their backstage report, Carrie Ann Inaba explained why competitors aren't supposed to do lifts until the finale freestyle routine, and the reasons she offered make a lot of sense.

Jennie Garth posted at her blog about surviving to dance another week. And USA Today has an article about what Cheryl Burke's doing with the first real stretch of free time she's had in two years (Thanks to Imee for the link).

The November issue of Real Simple magazine has a Got Milk? ad featuring Laila Ali, and People was there for the photo shoot.

In other reality show news, the bar at Caesars Palace is offering the four-course meal that earned Hung the title Top Chef.

Fox has ordered more episodes of Kitchen Nightmares and shelved New Amsterdam, while USA Network has turned The Starter Wife into a weekly series.

And Star Wars fans can get their hopes up. George Lucas is looking into turning the movie franchise into a live-action TV series.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

DwtS 5, Week 4: Results

Mel B survived a scary trip to the Bottom Two, and Floyd went down for the count on tonight's Dancing with the Stars Results Show.

Len Goodman started the show with a warning: "No lifts from now on." The he awarded the judges' encore to Cameron & Edyta because it was a "breakthrough" performance for them.

After Gloria Estefan's last minute withdrawal from the show to be with her sick mother, the producers had to scramble to find replacement performers. The DwtS house band and singers did a fine job performing Estefan's "Rhythm Is Gonna Get You," and DwtS pros Tony Dovolani, Elena Grinenko, Anna Trebunskaya, and Maksim Chmerkovskiy danced.

Following the performance, last night's studio audience offered their opinions on the lift controversy. One female audience member suggested, "Someone didn't get romance last night, and that was Carrie Ann." Former DwtS pro Ashly Del Grosso had floorside seats, and she agreed with Carrie Ann's judgment: "I did see a lot of those lifts, and that is in the rules that you can't do it."

Then the first two safe couples were announced: Sabrina & Mark and Cameron & Edyta. They'll be around to watch next week's special Results Show musical guest, Jennifer Lopez.

In a rare, slightly humorous Jimmy Kimmel segment, he and his parking lot attendant Guillermo looked into the dancers' habit of spray tanning. As Melanie Brown walked out of the tanning room, Guillermo muttered, "Wow, she's really tan."

After that, Wade Robson took the floor for the best performance of the evening. Wade served as ringmaster in a creepy circus. The routine was very cool, and it was neat to see Wade doing all of the wacky moves he usually makes the dancers on So You Think You Can Dance do.

That dynamic routine was followed by the other fill-in performance of the evening. Drew Lachey & Cheryl Burke gave a lovely dance to Wayne Newton's "Danke Schoen." If I hadn't read the news about Gloria Estefan, I wouldn't have known this week's performances had been arranged at the last minute.

In a video package, Robin Roberts and Diane Sawyer, Reverend Run and Russell Simmons, and Joan and Melissa Rivers offered their opinions on what makes a good partnership. According to everyone, trust is always a key.

Then, Mark & Kym were announced as safe, while Floyd & Karina became the first couple sent to the Bottom Two.

Before the fates of the remaining couples were revealed, the celebrities discussed their greatest fears in a video clip package. Marie described the difference between singing and dancing onstage: "I know how to fix it if I make a mistake when I sing. I don't know how to do that with my feet."

Cameron's constantly afraid of dropping Edyta, and Sabrina worries about tripping down the stairs when they're introduced. Jennie says falling was her biggest fear, but she learned from her fall in Week 3 that "even if my worst fear came true, I could move forward."

Jennie & Derek and Helio & Julianne were then told they were safe, leaving Marie & Jonathan, Mel & Maks, and Jane & Tony to worry a bit longer. Ultimately, Mel & Maks were told that they'd landed in the Bottom Two with Floyd.

The judges were stunned by the results. Bruno gave a candid answer when asked who should stay and who should go: "Melanie is the best dancer. There's no question. C'mon, people. It's insane."

Floyd & Karina were told to hit the bricks, and Floyd thanked all of his fans and everyone behind the scenes at DwtS. Karina said she enjoyed working with Floyd: "I got to know the real you."

The couple danced their last dance to Supertramp's "Take the Long Way Home."

Ox Notes: October 16, 2007

Gloria Estefan had to cancel her performance at tonight's Dancing with the Stars Results Show to be with her ailing mother. ABC hasn't named a replacement yet, and it's unclear how that will affect the "former contestant and former champion" that were scheduled to perform with Glo. And I have a hunch that the champ is Cheryl Burke and the contestant is Ian Ziering.

TV Guide talked with the celebs about their radical physical transformations after last night's DwtS Performance Show. And the writer was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of Edyta eating corn chips in her bathrobe after the show wrapped.

Dancing with the Stars is TV Guide's cover story this week.

People has an outlet for all the DwtS fans disappointed by the end of Drew Lachey's tenure as co-host: take their Drew vs. Samantha poll.

Reality Blurred has an article about all of the Top Chef 4 spoilers coming out of Chicago.

I'm excited for celebrity week on Wheel of Fortune, which airs November 12-16. With Paula Deen spinning the wheel for me, there's no way I could lose.

Yahoo! TV features an article about the art of casting television shows.

And clips from the pilot of zombie drama Babylon Fields have surfaced. I'm disappointed Babylon Fields wasn't picked up, but after seeing these clips, I'm not surprised CBS decided to pass on a show featuring zombie sex.

Monday, October 15, 2007

DwtS 5, Week 4: Performances

The season's first perfect score was lost amid a lifting controversy on tonight's episode of Dancing with the Stars.

Samantha Harris was back, and looking slim as ever. You'd never know she gave birth less than a month ago. Mercifully, she made it through her return without any major slip-ups.

Mark Cuban & Kym Johnson -- Viennese Waltz
I think the song "Mr. Bojangles" is creepy, so maybe that colored my feelings about this performance. Or maybe it was Mark's weird softshoe break early in the routine, as if he was channeling Joey Lawrence. The performance wasn't great, but it's the best that Mark's done so far.

Len agreed with me, telling Mark is was his "best dance." Bruno said the routine "started very well," before Mark turned into "Bigfoot in a suit." Carrie Ann, who'd criticized Mark before for singing along with the music, said, "I'm very proud of you. The mouth was not moving."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...7, Len...8, Bruno...7 = 22/30

Sabrina Bryan & Mark Ballas -- Paso Doble
The DwtS Band's remixed version of Dead or Alive's "You Spin Me Round" didn't work, but Sabrina & Mark managed to distract with some stellar dancing. Sabrina not only executed the moves, but she stayed in character. And the Paso gave Mark a chance to show off.

Bruno gushed, "Power, attack, stealth...a little lynx on the prowl." Carrie Ann said, "I get the sense that you want this really bad. I thought that was perfection." Len agreed: "I'm always looking for things I can find wrong with you, and tonight, I couldn't find any."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Jane Seymour & Tony Dovolani -- Viennese Waltz
Jane looked like a princess, giving a very lovely performance with speedy turns. If Mark Cuban got an 8 for his Waltz, then Jane deserved an 11.

Jane & Tony were the first couple that Carrie Ann called out for executing a lift, which she defined as a move that could not be executed by one person alone in which both feet leave the floor at the same time. "We do have a rule about lifts," Carrie Ann said, "and you guys pushed it." Tony proceeded to argue with Carrie Ann about whether Jane's feet both left the floor, and it was uncomfortable to watch.

Len declared tonight "a lift free zone" -- or more accurately a "free lift zone" -- and promised not to penalize any of the couples for questionable moves. He said Jane & Tony's dance had "all the romance of old Vienna." Bruno told Jane she looked like "the queen of the fairies."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 26/30

Floyd Mayweather & Karina Smirnoff -- Paso Doble
Floyd still hasn't been able to shed his hip-hop tendencies, stomping into the floor with too much force even for the aggressive Paso. When he wasn't stomping, he danced on tiptoes. The performance ended with Floyd swinging a limp Karina around in an ugly lift that made it look as though she were unconscious.

Len said, "Bloody good job." Bruno said Floyd "went from a bulldozer to a bull fighter." Carrie Ann asked, "Was that a lift?" but continued, "That was the most improvement I've seen from you."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...7, Len...8, Bruno...8 = 23/30

Melanie Brown & Maksim Chmerkovskiy -- Viennese Waltz
Mel & Maks gave a pretty, dramatic performance that felt too brief. Mel's arm extensions were very nice, although she didn't look completely at ease with the exaggerated neck posture of the Viennese Waltz.

Bruno said, "Melanie, sweet dreams are made of this. I was swept away to Wonderland." Carrie Ann said, "You bring together this sensual elegance. Your shoulders were just a hair up." Len said, "Well, done to you, Maks," and then to Melanie, "You're a revelation."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 26/30

Cameron Mathison & Edyta Sliwinska -- Paso Doble
Edyta had trouble choreographing a routine to the Superman theme song, and who can blame her? But Cameron attacked the dance enthusiastically. The performance ended in a very cool pose, and their superhero outfits were great.

Carrie Ann asked, "Cameron? Who are you? That was incredible!" She then scolded them for being the latest couple to execute a lift. Len told Cameron, "You and Paso Doble go together like fish and chips." Bruno said, "You took it like a hero. Well done."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 27/30

Marie Osmond & Jonathan Roberts -- Viennese Waltz
The tempo of Elvis Presley's "Can't Help Falling in Love" made a Viennese Waltz challenging, and Jonathan compensated by creating a routine that was a little more casual and less elegant than some of the other Waltzes. More distracting than the song were Marie's weird head whips that Carrie Ann described as "stripperish."

Len told Marie, "You put the feel-good factor into every dance." Bruno said, "For me it was a bit like Sleeping Beauty, but still asleep." Carrie Ann said, "I actually thought it was a nice choice. I like the new-found tenderness."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...8 = 26/30

Jennie Garth & Derek Hough -- Paso Doble
Jennie & Derek's dance was fast and fun, and full of character. Ian Ziering gave it a standing ovation, and I would have, too.

Bruno said, "You've improved so much, and you're getting better every week. The choreography was superb." Carrie Ann told Jennie, "You dug deep this week," although she said she would take a point off for -- wait for it -- their lift. Len started his comments by saying, "I am a grumpy old devil, and if I do start to see lifts creeping in, I can be far worse than these two." Then he turned to Jennie and said, "Listen to Lennie: That... bloomin' fantastic."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...10, Bruno...9 = 27/30

Helio Castroneves & Julianne Hough -- Viennese Waltz
Helio can't stop smiling long enough to create a serious character. The performance was very good, but it didn't seem to come as naturally for Helio as some of his previous dances. Julianne learned from the other couples' experience and was careful to drag her toe in what was very close to being yet another lift.

Carrie Ann said, "Julianne, thank you for keeping your toes on the ground. Helio, you know, when you dance, you make me happy to be alive." Len said, "I loved it." Bruno said, "You really are the glittering combo. You're like sunlight: you can never have enough." Bruno should be expecting a call from the Skin Cancer Foundation sometime soon.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 27/30

As Tom cued a recap of tonight's performances, he scooped up some of the feathers shed from Julianne's dress and said, "It's a shame Julianne's only 19; she's already molting."

Leaderboard:
30 -- Sabrina & Mark
27 -- Cameron & Edyta, Jennie & Derek, Helio & Julianne
26 -- Jane & Tony, Mel & Maks, Marie & Jonathan
23 -- Floyd & Karina
22 -- Mark & Kym

Sabrina & Mark were the best couple of the night, but I'd have to rank Jennie & Derek a close second for sheer entertainment value. Both couples will be sharing my votes (with one vote thrown to Helio & Julianne for giving the night's best Viennese Waltz).

The judges' leaderboard reveals one truth they can't deny, no matter how nice they are in their comments: Mark and Floyd aren't in the same league as the other celebrities. Expect to see them in tomorrow night's Bottom Two.

Ox Notes: October 15, 2007

Samantha Harris returns to her Dancing with the Stars hosting duties tonight, and Reality Blurred's Andy Denhart paid tribute to her ineptitude and the unintentional hilarity that ensues.

Sabrina Bryan and Jennie Garth have spent the weekend preparing for the Paso Doble, while Mark Cuban tried to get his brain and body in sync for the Viennese Waltz. Jennie also warned 90210 fans to look for Ian Ziering in the studio audience tonight.

Jane Seymour, meanwhile, wrote about her experience training for DwtS while coping with her mother's death.

Tuesday night's DwtS Results Show will feature two performances by Gloria Estefan. Some of the DwtS pros will dance as Glo sings "Rhythm Is Gonna Get You," and she will be accompanied by her own backup dancers as she sings "A Bailar" from her new album. So You Think You Can Dance choreographer Wade Robson is the night's featured guest dancer.

A trailer has been released for the upcoming Dancing with the Stars video game. I'm still not sure what I think about it.


Fox has reduced its order for episodes of The Return of Jezebel James to seven -- not surprising considering the terrible promotional clips that surfaced a few months ago.

Seeing as today is Blog Action Day, where bloggers try to draw attention to environmental issues, here's a link to an article I read at MSN yesterday about American toy companies. For those of us in the U.S., buying American-made toys produces fewer greenhouse gases during transportation, and eliminates the risk of kids being exposed to lead paint, as used in many Chinese-made toys.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Ox Notes: October 12, 2007

The most recent Bachelor, Lt. Andy Baldwin, deploys to Iraq in January. His rep says the deployment factored in to his break-up with on-air love Tessa Horst. If nothing else, "I'm heading to Iraq" sounds more believable than, "It's not you. It's me."

The American Idol Tour has been fined $5000 for violating New York child labor laws -- yet another problem that can be attributed to Sanjaya.

Fox is trying to boost the credibility of its sitcoms by adding the old "taped in front of a live studio audience" tag at the start of each episode.

New episodes of Tim Gunn's Guide to Style, which was supposed to fill the gap between seasons of Top Chef and Project Runway, have been pulled until PR returns so that the bland show can get a makeover.

Simon Pegg has just been added to the cast of the upcoming Star Trek movie in the role of Scotty. Pegg is the man behind zombie cult hit Shaun of the Dead and buddy cop comedy Hot Fuzz, which might be the funniest movie I've ever seen.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Survivor China: Episode 4

Dave learned the hard way that you can only be a leader when people want to follow you.

Winning their first Immunity Challenge hadn't done much to change the mood at Zhan Hu's camp. Sherea became the mouthpiece of the tribe, which was frustrated with Dave's bossy style of leadership. After he criticized her method of separating moldy rice from the non-moldy rice in their container, she let him have it.

The feud was interrupted by a nighttime Reward Challenge. Using giant chopsticks, two teammates had to carry a flaming metal ball to a wok. Once inside the wok, the ball ignited some fireworks, which probably scared the crap out of the monkeys and pandas living in the forest.

The first team to light all three of their woks won fishing and cooking lessons from a local family the following morning. And one lucky member of the losing tribe would be kidnapped and benefit from the morning's feast as well.

Both teams struggled to wield the awkward wooden poles, but Fei Long was victorious in the end. They kidnapped Dave -- and quickly realized how annoying he was. Dave repeatedly hugged everyone, for any reason. When he found out Courtney was from New York, Dave sang, "I love that Plaaace!" and hugged Courtney, shattering her frail skeleton and killing her instantly.

Gravedigger James politely asked Dave not to hug him. But Todd gritted his teeth and palled around with Dave, who rewarded Todd's tolerance with a clue to the hidden Immunity Idol.

The next morning, a fisherman, his wife, and kids arrived at camp. Out of nowhere, Jean-Robert began speaking Mandarin with the family. Todd gushed, "It was FANTASTIC!" Jean-Robert translated the wife's directions while most of the tribe helped prepare the meal.

Meanwhile, Aaron and Denise were out on the lake learning fishing techniques. The fisherman tied a cord around the necks of his pet water birds and sent them into the lake to catch fish. Since the cord prevented the cormorants from swallowing the fish, the fisherman directed the birds to spit the fish out into the boat.

Now all Aaron and Denise need to do is catch and train some of their own birds. Or they could just use the net they'd already won at an earlier Reward Challenge.

They headed back to shore to chow down. The meal looked scrumptious, even to a well-fed vegetarian like me. As mulleted Boston lunchlady Denise put it, "Flavor has never tasted so good! ...That was the delicate-est thing I have ever put in my mouth."

Over at the Zhan Hu camp, the atmosphere was much more relaxed without Dave around. But it also took an extraordinary amount of willpower for the tribe to get up and feed themselves.

Sherea decided she could best contribute to the team by conserving her energy for challenges (i.e., laying in the shelter and letting everyone else do all the work). "I'm gonna ride the work horse 'til the tail come off," she said, "because I'm not doing anything 'til I have to."

Sherea's conservation efforts were put to the test at the next Immunity Challenge.

Two teammates at a time donned traditional Chinese armor and threw three sets of meteor hammers (three rocks connected by a rope) across an outdoor arena and past a pair of opponents, attempting to shatter porcelain vases. Meanwhile, the opposing pair was trying to do the same, only in the opposite direction. After three rounds of battle (two men, two women, and co-ed), the team that had broken the most vases would be declared winner.

While Sherea's vast energy reserves allowed her to smash one of her opponents vases, Jaime was able to break two even after having helped at camp. And their efforts still couldn't defeat Fei Long.

Peih-Gee, Frosti, Erik, and Jaime had to decide whether to eliminate pushy Dave or listless Sherea. Despite a last ditch PR effort by Dave, the tribe decided enough was enough and cut him loose. Dave tried to explain his downfall: "I gave it my all. Perhaps I gave it too much."

Next time, Erik and Jamie form a love connection, and Survivor: China has its first "big twist."

Ox Notes: October 11, 2007

The networks have started placing orders for additional episodes of some of their new dramas, including Bionic Woman, Life, and Cane, among others.

People filed another report of Floyd Mayweather, Jr.'s negative comments about the DwtS judges, evidently hoping that it will become a full-fledged controversy. Floyd says he thinks his Jive deserved a 25 or 26 -- a score which would've placed him above Helio on the leaderboard. Are Floyd and I watching the same show?

Monday night's Dancing with the Stars Performance Show will be followed by the premiere of Samantha Who?, which I'm excited about because of its connections with Star Trek: Voyager. Tuvok has a recurring role of the show, and the pilot was directed by Lt. Tom Paris.

Chevy Chase's stellar work impersonating Mel Gibson on Law & Order landed him a special appearance on Brothers & Sisters.

PopMatters has an extensive list of the best TV shows on DVD, which rightfully mentions the Danish series The Kingdom -- progenitor of the failed American series Kingdom Hospital -- as one of the best examples of TV surrealism.

I'll be spending the rest of my day making Optimus Prime prank call my friends and family. Transformers, roll out!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Survivor China: Episode 3

Fei Long's winning streak came to an end, and Sister Christian took the fall.

Christian-radio host Leslie started the episode confident in her position in the Fei Long tribe. After all, there's no way she could be more annoying than pervy Jean-Robert, who rubs up against the younger women every night. "If we ever have to go to Tribal Council," she said, "at least we don't have to worry about who it'll be first."

The Reward Challenge gave Fei Long their first clue that Tribal Council might be in their future. In a floating version of the game King of the Hill, the contestants were divided by gender and had to force their opponents off a pier. The first team to win three rounds won the challenge.

Human action figure James had no trouble tossing the men of Zhan Hu into the water in the two rounds of men's competition. But the women of Fei Long were no match for Jamie, Peih-Gee, and Sherea. And, since the women had gone first, Zhan Hu earned their first victory. They won some cushy blankets and pillows, and then nabbed Leslie as their kidnap victim.

At Zhan Hu camp, Leslie gave the next Hidden Immunity Idol clue to Jaime (who'd done the same for Leslie, last week). Then the gals spent the rest of the day swimmin' and talkin' Jesus with Erik, Peih-Gee, and Sherea.

Meanwhile, at Fei Long's camp, Todd and Courtney overheard Jean-Robert and James hatching plans to get rid of Courtney and Leslie. James was only interested in eliminating Leslie, but Todd and Courtney considered him guilty by association, and they vowed to exact their revenge on him and Jean-Robert.

Later, Leslie returned to the Fei Long camp, gabbing that she'd met some fellow Christians at Zhan Hu. Aaron feared that Leslie had formed a Holy Alliance with members of the other tribe, and he decided to get rid of her in the event of a Fei Long loss at the Immunity Challenge.

Good thing Aaron was prepared.

In the challenge, four team members had to individually chop through a series of ropes to free some puzzle pieces, and then the last two members of the tribe would assemble the puzzle.

Courtney was the first member up for the Fei Long tribe. The easiest way to cut the ropes was by swinging the machete like you'd swing an axe to cut down a tree. But skinny Courtney could hardly even lift the machete. She'd previously joked, "I only weigh seven pounds," and not an ounce of that is muscle.

By the time Courtney finished -- eventually sawing through her ropes -- all four of the members of Zhan Hu had finished chopping, and Dave and Sherea were assembling their puzzle. The rest of the members of Fei Long made quick work of their ropes, but there was just no way to rebound from such a time deficit.

Courtney was pretty sure she'd be voted out after her poor performance in the challenge, but she and Leslie united to vote for Jean-Robert, if only to send him a warning about his loutish behavior.

Little did Courtney know that Aaron was pressuring teammates to off Leslie. Aaron made a convincing argument that Leslie was at least as weak as Courtney, and even more likely to switch teams than self-interested Jean-Robert. Plus, Jean-Robert was a valuable asset at challenges.

The 6-2 results of the vote at Tribal Council were a surprise to Leslie, who decided to frame her eviction as part of a Divine plan -- and not simply the results of her teammates finding her untrustworthy.

Leslie's post-show interview with TV Guide can be found here.

Ox Notes: October 10, 2007

People's backstage report from the Dancing with the Stars Results Show details some of the audience-performer interaction at the taping. Tom Bergeron saved his best lactation humor for the TV Guide backstage report.

According to another People report from last night's show, it took Floyd Mayweather, Jr. all of three weeks to become convinced that the judges are out to get him, as I predicted would happen before the season began.

Melanie Brown and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are heading to the U.K. so that she can film a video with the Spice Girls. Maks has a plan for what he'll be doing when he and Mel aren't training for DwtS: "David Beckham and I are going to get coffee while they’re shooting."

The Spice Girls are also the musical entertainment for this year's televised Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

Last night's DwtS Results Show was watched by 16 million people, while Cavemen dropped 20% of its audience from last week.

One of my favorite new shows, Gossip Girl, became the first new show of the season to be picked up for a full season.

Mature and classy Jonny Fairplay is suing Danny Bonaduce and everyone involved with the Fox Reality Awards for, among other things, "negligent supervision."

Speaking of classy things, I feel compelled to post this video of the worst song in the world. And I'm not exaggerating. Never has a song so stupid in concept been executed so poorly. Be forewarned that, if you're at work, your hysterical laughter may disrupt nearby coworkers.