Survivor: Cook Islands -- Episode 3

Much like certain members of the US Senate, a couple members of the revamped Aitu tribe voted out of fear, rather than voting for what they felt was right. As a result, Cecilia was sacrificed in the name of security on Survivor: Cook Islands.

After six days as four racially segregated tribes, the Survivors were summoned in front of Jeff Probst to merge into new tribes. Cecilia, Parvati, Brad, and Jonathan were randomly selected to start the schoolyard pick.

Tribes were first selected by gender, with the stipulation that each successive pick must be from an old tribe not yet represented on the new team. Cecilia was given first choice, and she and Parvati alternated picks until the teams were as follows:

Cecilia >> Jessica >> Sundra >> Becky >> Candice
Parvati >> Jenny >> Cristina >> Rebecca >> Stephannie

The men chose their teams next. Brad picked first:
Brad >> JP >> Nate >> Adam
Jonathan >> Yul >> Ozzy >> Cao Boi

The four new tribes were then combined randomly to form two new tribes. Cecilia's and Jonathan's teams became the new Aitu, and Brad's and Parvati's teams formed the new Raro.

Aitu
Cecilia, Jessica, Sundra, Becky, Candice, Jonathan, Yul, Ozzy, Cao Boi

Raro
Parvati, Jenny, Cristina, Rebecca, Stephannie, Brad, JP, Nate, Adam

Nate felt like the Fresh Prince as he toured Raro's camp: "They took us out of the ghetto and took us to Bel Air." Parvati was just happy Nate was around, so that she'd have someone new to flirt with.

Things were just as congenial at Aitu, where Cao Boi told Jessica, "You're not Asian, but I love you."

Speaking of love, the merge gave Cecilia the opportunity to ask Candice about her supposed romance with last week's evictee, Billy. A stunned Candice clarified that, when she told Billy, "We love you," at the last challenge, "I didn't mean it like that."

Becky all but skipped introductions, quickly getting Jonathan and Candice to agree to an alliance with her and Yul. Yul cemented his bond with Becky by disclosing to her that he'd found the hidden Immunity Idol on Exile Island.

When Jonathan tried to pull Jessica into the alliance as well, she balked, claiming that she wanted to get to know everyone before joining an alliance. She confessed to the cameras that she wasn't completely comfortable around Jonathan and Candice.

At Raro, Nate speared an octopus, which wrapped itself around Brad on its way to the cooking pot. Then a whale swam by Aitu's beach, and, after one-upping the other hunters last week, I expected Yul to swim out and catch it.

Tonight's Immunity Challenge was a repeat of one of my favorites from a few seasons ago. The members of each tribe were clipped, single file, to a rope that created a huge oval track. Tribes started on opposite sides of the oval, and the object was for your group to catch up to, and then tackle, a member of the opposing tribe.

To make things a little more difficult, the track was situated in knee-deep water, and each tribe member carried a 15-pound bag. Contestants could drop out of the race at any time, so long as they gave their bag to another person to carry. In an endurance race, the longer a team could spread the weight out amongst its tribe members, the better.

After only one lap around the track, all of the female members of Aitu dropped out of the race. The strategy was for the men to put on an early burst and catch the other tribe. But with the extra baggage, they were unable to do so.

The female members of Raro held out slightly longer, with Rebecca lasting for several laps. The men of Aitu tired quickly, and Raro soon caught up with them. The men of Raro were easily able to tackle a sluggish Cao Boi.

In addition to avoiding Tribal Council, the winning tribe selected a member from the losing tribe to Exile Island. They chose Candice, in order to keep anyone else from falling in love with her.

At Aitu camp, Ozzy promised not to vote for Cao Boi, and Cao Boi suggested they vote for Becky. So Ozzy recruited Cecilia, Sundra, and Jessica, who all agreed that Becky should go.

With their original alliance in jeopardy, as Candice languished on Exile Island, Jonathan asked Jessica about her plans. Jessica said she didn't have a good vibe about Becky, and she was set on voting for her, and not for Jonathan's proposed target, Cecilia. Jonathan told Jessica she needed to think past the next vote and ultimately do what was best for her.

Yul worked to persuade Cao Boi that his position in the game was better if he stuck with Yul, Jonathan, and Becky. Cao Boi seemed skeptical, though he did decide to talk things over with Jessica, to see where she was leaning.

Both Cao Boi and Jessica agreed that they didn't trust Jonathan. Cao Boi told Jessica that they would be outsiders in any group, but that they might have better luck sticking with the unified front of Yul, Becky, Jonathan, and Candice. Jessica's brain hurt, as she realized she really was going to have to think further ahead than the next challenge, if she wanted to stay in the game.

The conversation seemed like a classic Survivor red herring, just thrown in to add a little suspense. Jessica and and Cao Boi had originally been so adamant about voting for Becky. And they'd been so resistant when initially confronted by Yul and Jonathan.

As members of both sides cast their votes at Tribal Council, everyone said that tonight's vote was pure strategy, nothing personal. Everyone except Ozzy, who resented that Becky didn't try to get to know him. His need to make everything personal could get him voted off sooner than he would, otherwise.

To the surprise of a previously relaxed and confident Ozzy, Sundra, and Cecilia, (and me) Jonathan's and Yul's pressure worked on Jessica and Cao Boi. Ultimately, they made what they viewed as the safer vote: sending Cecilia home, even though they liked her better than Becky.

If I wasn't sure already, I'm now convinced that Jonathan, Yul, and Becky are serious players. And I think they're all going to be around for a long time.

Next week, the men of Raro take a break from work, and Cao Boi ratchets up his weirdness by knocking a baby bird from its nest.

DWTS 3 -- Results Show Week 3

Harry Hamlin said that only a miracle or surgery could loosen up his stiff frame enough to make him a contender. His miracle never came, and Harry & Ashly became the next couple eliminated from Dancing with the Stars 3.

Last night, the judges criticized a number of couples for breaking the rules. Host Tom Bergeron gave Judge Len Goodman a chance to clarify which rules had been broken. Len cited a general rule barring lifts. He then defined a lift as follows: "Your partner picks you up off both your feet, and you do a step you couldn't do on your own."

The lift rule was broken during a few of the Performance Show Jives. Video footage showed clearly that Willa & Max and Joey & Edyta had included lifts in their routines.

For the Tango, the infractions had to do with time spent in "proper ballroom hold." Apart from approximately ten seconds at the start and end of the routine, dancers needed to be in contact throughout the rest of the dance. A video clip detailed how Mario & Karina had broken their hold during the Tango.

"We're looking for the best all-around couple," Len said. "We're not looking for a one dance wonder." Couples are judged on how well they portray the character of each of the dances, and, ideally, the couple who can successfully execute the greatest number of dances wins.

Len announced that Vivica & Max had earned the encore, before the other judges reminded him that Vivica's Tango partner was Nick, not Max. The Shaggy song to which Vivica & Nick danced sounded even weirder the second time around. All I noticed was the singer periodically grunting, "Huh...What...Shaggy!" throughout the performance.

Next, retro-rock group Scissor Sisters performed their song, "Take Your Mama." Their instruments were set up on the dance floor, leaving just enough room for Cheryl and ousted pro Jesse to perform. This was a smart staging decision, as it meant the cameras were free to film both the band and the dancers, rather than cutting away for too many closeups of the band. The dancing was great and made me wish the song was a bit longer.

While the band cleared the floor, Samantha asked some of the couples about last night's performances. Regarding Emmitt's low scores from the judges, Samantha asked him, "Were you robbed?"

"At gun point," Emmitt deadpanned. Samantha said that when she talked to him after last night's show, he was fuming mad. "I still am!" said Emmit.

Sara said that the country flavor of last night's "hat, boots, and choreography were more my style." She'd better be careful, lest she confuse this with Fox's new show, Boot Scootin' with Celebs.

Then it was back out to Tom on the dance floor, where he introduced a clip package of feedback from the Performance Show's studio audience. The crowd was evenly mixed on whether following the rules was more important than doing anything to please the crowd. One man told Len to "lighten up on the Geritol," while a female audience member said, "If I want to see cartwheels and handstands, I'll watch a cheerleading competition." One patriot said that "America is based on rules!" I wonder where he stands on the Geneva Convention's definition of torture.

After that, it was time to announce the first safe couples of the night, in no particular order. To their delight, Willa & Max were announced first -- surprising them more than when, the previous night, Samantha had told them they were falling in love. Sara & Tony were also announced as safe, as were Monique & Louis. As show faded to commercial, Sara walked over to hug Willa, who was gleefully running in place.

To prepare audiences for one of next week's dances, the Paso Doble, the pros performed it as a part of the biggest spectacle in DwtS history. Italian tenor Vittorio, wearing a black cloak, lead a choir the "O Fortuna," from Carl Orff's Carmina Burana. The pro dancers performed the dance of the bull fighter, with the women clad in flowing black dresses that mimicked capes. Behind it all, video screens burned with virtual flames.

The whole thing seemed like some sort of dark ritual. It was Dancing with the Stars, as reinterpreted by Roman Polanski.

As the singers and dancers cleared the stage and returned to their crypts, Tom gave credit to Louis for the routine's choreography.

Samantha was backstage interviewing the three celebrities safe for next week. Sara planned on taking her country-theme to new heights next week. Perhaps she would ride out on a horse, and Tony could lift the horse. Tony ran backstage in time to remind her of the rule: "No Lifts!"

Samantha then put Willa on the spot, asking her who she thought would be eliminated tonight, now that she and Max were safe. Max jumped in and said he hoped for a four-way tie, and that no one would go home. Willa agreed.

During an update of DwtS viewer Tysonia's progress in the Slim Fast challenge, she Waltzed in front of her coworkers. She pulled off the dance, knowing that if she didn't, she'd never hear the end of it at work. Next week, she has to wear a skimpy dress for the Samba.

Scissor Sisters came back out to perform "I Don't Feel Like Dancing," or as Tom called it, "The Tucker Carlson Story." The judges danced in their seats during the song.

Scissor Sisters is my kind of band. I'm sure I would've heard of them before tonight -- if it was seven years ago and I was still cool. (These days, I rely on car commercials and movie credits to discover new bands. It's so sad.)

Another prerecorded segment featured the judges discussing what they expected from performers throughout the competition. Len said he looks for technique and hold, and how they sell the performance. "You must feel good about your routine," he said. "If you haven't got confidence, you won't perfom well."

Carrie Ann said that she accounts for each celebrity's individuality. "Joey Lawrence's best performance won't look like Emmitt Smith's best performance."

Carrie Ann and Len then pointed out some of each celebrities' strengths, giving special attention to Sara. I think Carrie Ann was trying to be figurative when she said, "Each week, Sara unbuttons another button of her top, and she lets more and more of herself come out."

After the judges' segment, two more couples were announced as safe: Vivica & Nick and Joey & Edyta.

With the fate of four couples still uncertain, a final prerecorded interview segment prolonged the tension. Harry said that this competition would be a piece of cake for him if he were up against the contestants from Season One. We learned that practicing has become a full time obsession for Joey and Willa, prompting Jerry to ask, "What are they, nuts? Don't they have anything else to do?"

Mario & Karina and Emmitt & Cheryl were revealed as the next two safe couples. This left Jerry & Kym and Harry & Ashly in the bottom two.

Not wanting to prolong the agony, Tom quickly told Harry & Ashly that they'd been eliminated. Tom expressed his shock, and some of the crowd booed the results, as Harry & Ashly made their way over to the hosts.

Harry tried to be stoic, saying the experience has given him an "extreme body makeover" and the chance to dance with "a goddess." Samantha foolishly tried to ask a sobbing Ashly about Harry's dedication. Ashly was far too overcome to answer. Ironically, Ashly had survived more weeks last season, when she was partnered with the disinterested Master P, than she'd been able to with a committed partner like Harry.

As the show ended, Ashly danced with Harry to "All By Myself." And last season's crying queen, Lisa Rinna, sat in the audience, watching her husband's final dance.

Next week, celebrities do the Waltz or Paso Doble.

DwtS 3 -- Performance Show Week 3

The judges were the biggest story of tonight's episode of Dancing with the Stars 3, and that's never a good sign. Emmitt took a beating while Sara and Vivica received effusive praise. But none of that compared to the tongue lashings Len directed at Mario and Joey.

Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke - Tango
Emmitt's getting worn out after traveling between Dallas, where he lives, and Los Angeles, where the show is filmed. This week, he and Cheryl also flew to Virginia, to support Emmitt's wife as she hosted the Miss Virginia pageant. They snuck in an extra practice session, performing for the pageant crowd.

Someone, somewhere must've thought it would be funny to make Emmitt and Cheryl Tango to Robert Palmer's "Simply Irresistible." Cheryl looked fabulous tonight, sporting some sweet hair extensions, and Emmitt had no problem maintaining the intense expression expected in the Tango. It was just too bad that, by its nature, the dance didn't allow him to show his fun-loving side. He also didn't seem as comfortable with the steps as he had in his previous dances, a sign that practice time was at a premium this week.

Len said that, for the Tango, he was looking for the couples to be in a hold throughout the middle of the song. They could only be apart for a few seconds at the beginning and end. (Remember that point; it comes up again later.) Len said the couple kept their hold, but he was disappointed in Emmitt's overall performance. He also criticized Cheryl for including an illegal lift. Bruno told Emmitt, "The rock is starting to crumble. You didn't shine as you usually do." Carrie Ann said that, while there were some technical problems, the dance "wasn't all as bad as these guys [Len and Bruno] say."
Judges' Scores... Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 6, Bruno: 6 = 19/30

Monique Coleman & Louis van Amstel - Jive
Monique's mom flew from South Carolina to watch Monique perform. While seeing her mom was enough to make Monique happy, she also hoped Mom's presence in the audience might make the judges think twice before saying anything too critical.

Monique started the routine with a crazy backward leap off of the stage into Louis' arms. It almost looked like a stunt from Miami Vice -- appropriate, since they danced to "The Heat Is On," by Glenn Frey. The extra long fringe on Monique's outfit made all of her moves look quick and exaggerated, which probably helped in a fast dance like the Jive. The fringe also weighed down her skirt, pulling it down a bit at one point. But Monique maintained her sense of humor, telling Tom Bergeron after the dance that the daring leap at the beginning scared the clothes right off of her.

Apparently, Len is a big fan of the Eagles. He said he liked the song, and he told Monique the routine had "vitality and fun." Bruno, in reference to her bright yellow outfit, dubbed Monique "Little Miss Sunshine." Carrie loved the risky jump and said Monique's moves were "strong and sharp." She also warned the other contestants to take note of Monique.
Judges' Scores... Carrie Ann: 9, Len: 9, Bruno: 9 = 27/30

Harry Hamlin & Ashly DelGrosso - Tango
For inspiration, Ashly and Harry watched couples Tango at an Argentine restaurant. His modus operandi for this week? "Passion, passion, passion."

This was not one of the evening's best performances, in part because the band used some strange, high-pitched effect during the song that sounded like chatty sparrows squeegeeing windshields. The dancing itself was competent, if not memorable. Harry's expression was inscrutable, but if he says that's his passionate face, then I guess it's his passionate face. He showed the most personality after the routine, when he took a rose from his lapel, walked up to Carrie Ann, and then spun around and handed the rose to Bruno.

Bruno said, "the performance was good, but the footwork was messy at times." Carrie joked that she recinded the 10 that she planned to give Harry, because he gave his rose to Bruno. She said she appreciates his hard work, but he's "still a little awkward." Len jumped to Harry's defense: "These two should go to Lenscrafters, because they're giving two-for-one. That was great!"
Judges' Scores... Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 8, Bruno: 7 = 22/30

Willa Ford & Maksim Chmerkovskiy - Jive
Willa broke into tears after week's trip to the bottom two. Knowing that she needed a perfect routine this week, Willa told Max she'd do everything he said without arguing. Of course that didn't last long, and Max walked out of the rehearsal studio at one point, as Willa did last week. Max said that Willa's frustrations stem from the constant pressure she puts on herself to overachieve. Willa told us this competition means so much to her because, unlike some of her competitors, "I don't have Super Bowl rings. I don't have an Oscar. I don't have a Country Music Award."

Willa sported a sexy diner waitress (or space stewardess) outfit for their Jive, a dance that really seemed to suit her style. Her footwork was great, though she didn't move as quickly as the dance demanded.

Carrie called Willa "the best natural dancer," but she was critical of the lifts the couple included. Len, said, "I liked some of it, and some of it I wasn't too keen on." Bruno retorted, "Len, you're so grumpy tonight. That was pure Betty Grable. I loved the American cheesecake." Backstage, Samantha told Willa and Max, "You two are really falling for each other!" The couple was too stunned by the comment to respond.
Judges' Scores...Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 7, Bruno: 8= 22/30

Jerry Springer & Kym Johnson - Tango
Kym's plan was to have Jerry emulate James Bond during their Tango. "It doesn't appear she's been drinking," said Jerry. "But she's not playing with a full deck."

Jerry wore a Sean Connery-era Bond white tux and pantomimed holding a gun. He gave a solid performance, having worked on his technique as the judges requested. The dance was fun, and afterward, Kym ran to give him a hug as the crowd chanted, "Jerry." Tom joked that Jerry looked like James Bond, but as played by George Lazenby.

Bruno said the routine was "more like the Pink Panther -- a technical massacre." Carrie agreed that the dancing wasn't great, but said that it was Jerry's best so far. Len said, "It was a very unusual Tango, but the footwork was good and it was fun."

Waiting for his scores backstage, Jerry said he wasn't interested in winning the whole competition, but prefered instead to win "Miss Congeniality." He said that he wanted to stick around to the waltz, so he could dance with his daughter at her wedding. But after that, "America should come to its senses" and eliminate him, because "everything hurts."
Judges' Scores...Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 7, Bruno: 7 = 21/30

Sara Evans & Tony Dovolani - Jive
In order to make Sara feel more comfortable, she and Tony worked some country line dancing into their Jive. In fact, they all but replaced their Jive with a line dance, complete with cowboy boots. Sara looked at home in her cowgirl gear, as she stepped to "These Boots Are Made For Walking." But Albanian Tony made the least convincing cowboy ever.

Carrie Ann shouted, "I loved it! You might want to keep those cowboy boots on for a few more numbers." Len liked it as well. Bruno told Sara she was "glowing and radiant. Use those assets." Watch the video if you'd like to know which two assets Bruno is refering to.
Judges' Scores...Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 9, Bruno: 8 = 25/30

Mario Lopez & Karina Smirnoff - Tango
To get in the mood for a sexy Tango, Mario kissed Karina on the cheek and smelled her hair during practice.

Mario and Karina worked in some exciting drops and lifts, breaking holds to do so -- despite the judges' warnings against such tricks last week. They're a great pair of dancers, but Mario needs to believe that the audience will still appreciate him if he plays by the rules. He insisted that he's bending the rules to make things exciting for the fans, but such statements make it seem as if fans aren't sophisticated enough to appreciate ballroom dancing without stunts.

Len asked the couple point blank, "Whose idea was it to break the hold in the middle of the dance?" When they didn't answer (though Karina did hide behind Tom), Len shouted, "I would've given you a 10!" Bruno told the couple that by including illegal moves, "you make us mark you down." Carrie told them, "Respect the rules. You might go further in this competition." Still incensed, Len said, "Karina, you're the jockey, he's the horse. You need to get a tighter hold of the reins." Carrie Ann and Bruno both agreed that, like Len, they would've awarded Mario and Karina 10s if they'd followed the rules.
Judges' Scores...Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 6, Bruno: 8 = 22/30

Vivica A. Fox & Nick Kosovich - Tango
Following a cathartic performance last week, Vivica found herself sobbing. "No one can be as hard as nails all the time," Nick said of her. But Vivica recovered quickly, putting on a tutu and taking ballet lessons this week, at Carrie Ann's suggestion.

For her dance, Vivica sported a short hairdo reminiscent of Dorothy Dandridge. But Dorothy never had to Tango to a song by Shaggy. Vivica put forth a strong effort, looking tough and elegant throughout.

Bruno called her "the drama queen of the night." Carrie said, "You're a diva!" Vivica ran up to the judge's table and kissed Carrie Ann, finally having won over her harshest critic. Len gave suggestions as to what he thought Vivica's middle initial "A" stands for: "Animal, Attack, Aggression, Atmosphere. I enjoyed it."
Judges' Scores...Carrie Ann: 9, Len: 9, Bruno: 9 = 27/30

Joey Lawrence & Edyta Sliwinska - Jive
In honor of their Elvis song, Edyta helped Joey find a pair of "Blue Suede Shoes." Edyta's pseudo-poodle skirt fit right in. Their dancing was great, although Joey did a handstand and then flipped Edyta over. It was a appealing routine, but --after what had transpired earlier in the show -- one that was sure to draw the ire of the judges.

Bruno reminded "Joey the Dynamo" that lifts aren't allowed. Carrie told the couple, "Once again, you were fabulous." Len, still grumpy after Mario's performance, took special offense at Joey's handstand. "This isn't Cirque de Soliel. It isn't clever. It's terrible. Don't do it." In reponse to Len's rant, Tom cracked, "So, you didn't manage to get through the whole cigarette during the commercial break." Joey apologized for the illegal lifts and promised to do better next week.
Judges' Scores...Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 6, Bruno: 8 = 22/30

Leaderboard:
1 (tie) - Monique & Louis, Vivica & Nick
3 - Sara & Tony
4 (tie) - Willa & Max, Harry & Ashly, Mario & Karina, Joey & Edyta
8 - Jerry & Kym
9 - Emmitt & Cheryl

The Amazing Race 10: Episode 2

This week's episode of the Amazing Race taught us that bickering teams with decent navigational skills almost always have an edge over the directionally clueless -- no matter how positive their attitudes. But if I had to pick a team as travel guides for my next vacation, I'd take eliminated cheerleaders Jamie & Kellie over quarrelsome duds Peter & Sarah every time.

This week, teams left the Great Wall of China and headed to Outer Mongolia. Two buses, leaving two hours apart, carried teams on the first leg of their journey.

1st bus: Tyler & James, Duke & Lauren, Peter & Sarah, Dustin & Kandice, Rob & Kimberly
2nd bus: Jamie & Kellie, Erwin & Godwin, Tom & Terry, Lyn & Karlyn, Mary & David

The two hour delay gave teams on the second bus time to clown around together at the bus station. Kentucky coalminer David was even cajoled into dancing. The Race has been especially eye-opening for David's wife, Mary, who'd never met any Asian or gay people before. Her assessment? "Damn, I like 'em!"

Both buses arrived at a train station, where all of the teams were forced to wait for a train to Ulaanbaatar. Because everyone was on the same train, the first-bus advantage was rendered completely moot.

While the locals outside the station were amazed by Sarah's prosthetic leg and her ability to run on it, they weren't impressed enough to pay for her demonstration, although Peter did ask.

In rainy Ulaanbaatar, teams cheered as their reckless cab drivers made dangerous attempts to pass cars on the muddy streets. Some of the cabbies were better than others at finding a temple, where teams observed a traditional religious dance. Teams entered in groups, as the dance was only performed every ten minutes.

Cheerleaders Jamie & Kellie had a passenger on the train write directions to the temple in Mongolian, so they were the first team to arrive. The temple dancers, wearing oversized masks, performed a short skit before handing teams their next clue.

The clue directed teams to drive to Terelj National Park in old Russian military jeeps. Several of the teams were lucky enough to find native English speakers in town, and asked them for directions. David & Mary just grabbed a cool local guy smoking a cigarette and had him ride with them to Terelj.

Along the drive, the old jeeps started to break down. Tyler & James, who were in seventh, got a flat tire, only to discover that their jack was also broken. Rob & Kimberly stopped to help, but Lyn & Karlyn slowed down, but didn't stop to assist the models. "It's not like we're being mean," Karlyn said. "We just want to win."

Rob & Kimberly couldn't remove their jack from its compartment, they drove on ahead. Fortunately for Tyler & James, a couple of locals lent them a jack and helped them with the tire. Before long, the models were back in the race.

Jamie & Kellie, who left the temple first, had trouble navigating and then stalled their jeep. By the time Jamie was able to help Kellie restart their vehicle, they'd fallen into last place.

When teams arrived at the national park, they had to ride horses, following a guide to a meadow where their next clue was waiting. Peter & Sarah were the first team to arrive, followed by the Miss USA contestants, Dustin & Kandice. So that Sarah's prosthesis didn't get caught in the stirrup, she put a fake foot and shoe on the end of her leg. Kandice donned the required protective (and furry) Mongolian hat and yelled, "I'm a Mongolian, baby. Get me some barbecue!"

Within eyesight of the park, David drove his jeep into a mud pit. Unable to get the vehicle out, he and Mary were forced to wait for a replacement. The smoking guy took it as his cue to leave. And several teams arrived in the meantime, including Rob and Kimberly.

As Kimberly mounted her horse, she asked Rob, "Can horses smell fear?"

He replied, "No, that's bees and dogs, I think."

But Kimberly might have been on to something. Minutes later, her horse rode under a low hanging branch, clotheslining Kimberly and knocking her to the ground. Their guide had to chase down the horse as Kimberly sat and cried.

Kimberly's fall wasn't even the most dramatic of the day. Kandice fell off her horse, caught her foot in the stirrup, and was dragged for several yards, before the horse broke free. She was fine, though she lost her Mongolian helmet in the process.

Just when teams thought their animal ordeals were over, they reached the next cluebox. A Detour forced teams to "Take It Down or Fill It Up."

In Take It Down, teams disassembled a traditional tent shelter used by nomads. They then packed the tent components in a specific manner, so that the tent could be strapped onto a camels back. The task was more complicated than it was physically demanding.

In Fill It Up, teams drove an ox-cart to a stream, filled up jugs of water, then drove the cart back to a large barrel and emptied their pails into it. It took at least two trips to the stream to collect enough water to fill the barrel, and success was entirely dependent on the mood of the ox.

Peter & Sarah attempted to pack up the tent, but couldn't figure out how to do it properly. So they switched tasks, only to be given the most temperamental ox this side of Manila. The ox ran away, sending empty pails falling off of the back of their cart.

Sarah's frustration boiled over, and she started to cry. And Peter stopped everything to lecture Sarah on why things were going to be okay. She told him to keep driving the ox-cart, but Peter refused to budge. He projected his own frustrations onto Sarah and scolded her for "losing it."

Sarah replied, "I'm just getting teary. I'm not losing it." Eventually, she convinced Peter that her crying didn't mean she was giving up, and they continued with the task.

When Peter tried to drive the cart again, the ox ran away a second time. The couple switched Detours again, returning to Take It Down. There, Duke & Lauren were already loading items onto their camel's back.

Other teams had more success with their oxen, though the rides weren't smooth. Rob, seated on the back of the bumpy cart and holding the water pails, blamed the uncomfortable ride on his driver, Kimberly. He shouted orders at her as she led their ox.

Kimberly could only listen to Rob complain for so long before she yelled, "Shut up!"

Rob thought for a split-second before replying, "You shut up!"

Dustin & Kandice finished Fill It Up around the same time Duke & Lauren finished Take it Down. Both teams were excited to receive their clue, which directed them to drive to the Hotel Mongolia.

However, the clue specified that teams needed to ride their horses back to their jeeps, wearing all of the safety gear they'd worn to the Detour. Kandice had lost her helmet when she fell off of her horse, and she and Dustin couldn't remember exactly where that had happened.

Their guide thought he remembered where Kandice's helmet had fallen, and he went to retrieve it, as they waited. In the meantime, several other teams completed the Detour, and last place team Jamie & Kellie had arrived. When they noticed Dustin & Kandice standing around, Kellie told Jamie, "I think they're done and they're just, like, chillin' or something."

Like Peter & Sarah, single moms Lyn & Karlyn started on the tent task, only to give up and switch to the ox-cart. While they were switching tasks, Jamie & Kellie started Take It Down.

Both teams finished their respective detours at the same time, and were now in a race to avoid last place. They rode to their jeeps...only to find both vehicles stalled.

Jamie & Kellie found some men who explained that they needed to take a bar from under the hood, insert it in a hole in the jeep's grill, and actually crank their car to start it. After Lyn & Karlyn tried and failed to crank their own car, they got some help, too, and were on the road soon after the cheerleaders.

Once teams were on the road, they were able to relax and make up. Sort of. Peter attributed his team's problems to Sarah's meltdown, not acknowledging that he'd been pretty molten, himself.

And, in their jeep, Rob clarified his surly behavior to Kimberly. "I wasn't yelling at you. I just didn't know how else to say it."

At the Hotel Mongolia, teams encountered a Roadblock: "Who's ready to aim high?" One team member needed to complete a traditional Mongolian training exercise, by shooting a flaming arrow and igniting a target 160 feet away.

Peter ignited his target first, and he and Sarah ran to the nearby Pit Stop. For finishing in first place, the couple won trip to a Mexican resort. While interviewing them at the mat, Phil asked Sarah, "Did you ever expect, in two legs, to be in first place?" To her credit, Sarah took Phil's awkward choice of words in stride.

Tyler & James finished in second, followed by Lauren & Duke, Tom & Terry, Dustin & Kandice, and Rob & Kimberly. David completed the Roadblock next, and on his way to the Pit Stop with Mary, she twisted her ankle. They still finished in seventh, followed by Erwin & Godwin.

On their drive to the hotel, Jamie & Kellie became convinced that they were driving the wrong way. They asked some locals, who told them to turn around. They did, soon passing Lyn & Karlyn going the other direction.

When the cheerleaders pulled over to ask for directions again, they realized they'd made a mistake in doubling back. "Today is our stupid day," Jamie said. They turned around again. But, by this point, they were too far behind Lyn and Karlyn, who finished ninth.

At the Roadblock, Kellie tried to finish strong, but she never got the hang of using the bow. After several hours, her arm was too tired to shoot another arrow, and the team walked to the Pit Stop for a mercy elimination.

Next week: Duke and Lauren don't have the money to pay a cabbie. And Tom & Terry fight with Dustin & Kandice, after the Beauty Queens cut in line.

DwtS 3 In-Season Update: 9-22-06

After a couple of days reflection on this week's performances and results, it's time to update the Dancing with the Stars 3 Power Rankings. (The rankings don't represent how I personally feel about the contestants, just where I feel they stand in the competition right now.)

9. Willa Ford & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Last Week's Ranking - 9
Willa made it out of her first two trips to the bottom, but it's going to take a near perfect performance next week to survive. Last season, Tia Carrere was in a similarly precarious position, when Max choreographed an amazing Tango that bought them another week in the competition. That's good news for Willa, since it's likely that the women will dance a Tango next week, while the men perform a Jive.

8. Jerry Springer & Kym Johnson
Last Week's Ranking - 6
Jerry's certainly popular enough to stick around for a long time, and his dancing is improving. But if Kym's knee is aggravated again, Jerry's more likely to pull out of the competition than put her in danger of a career-threatening injury. And switching to a new partner at this point would certainly be problematic. However, if Kym's knee is okay, Jerry's stock could rise.

7. Harry Hamlin & Ashly DelGrosso
Last Week's Ranking - 8
Harry's made some strides on the dance floor, but he's still way behind Joey, Mario, and Emmitt. He also made some comments aired during the Results Show that he didn't feel that he needed to change, because he wasn't in any danger. That's not going to win anyone over to his cause.

6. Monique Coleman & Louis van Amstel
Last Week's Ranking - 7
Monique's Mambo earned the highest scores of any woman in the field. But I'm still not sure she has the star power to be a serious contender. Her pre-show audience was mostly limited to families with children in a certain age range. And we haven't seen much of her personality, yet. The good news for Monique is that she could be earning new fans with, of all things, her dance skills.

5. Sara Evans & Tony Dovolani
Last Week's Ranking - 4
Sara probably ranks in the top three in terms of fan favorites. But she's been second to last in judges' scores each week. Fans voting for her now do so because they are fans of her music. But, in order to win over new fans, Sara needs to make some real progress in her dancing. And she can't let Tony's negative attitude about the judges rub off on her.

4. Mario Lopez & Karina Smirnoff
Last Week's Ranking - 1
Their liberal interpretation of a Quickstep was a mistake that hurt them with the judges. Mario needs another Latin dance to get him back on track.

3. Vivica A. Fox & Nick Kosovich
Last Week's Ranking - 3
They've ranked third with the judges each week, so I'll follow suit.

2. Joey Lawrence & Edyta Sliwinska
Last Week's Ranking - 5
Their Quickstep was wonderful, but the best part about it was Joey's sincere appreciation for the judge's compliments and the audience's standing ovation. Drew Lachey earned fans last season with his boundless enthusiasm and hard work ethic. Joey has those same qualities, so expect his fanbase to grow as the season progresses.

1. Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke
Last Week's Ranking - 2
Emmitt's shown far more dance aptitude than anyone expected from him. Cheryl received Emmy nominations for two of the routines she choreographed last season. The show's fans love them both. Together, they are the most dangerous couple in the competition.


Other DwtS News
Two reports from backstage at DwtS 3: People Magazine was there the night of the Performance Show, while Sports Illustrated caught up with Emmitt after the Results Show. Overheard: Joey & Edyta will dance to "Blue Suede Shoes" next week.

Survivor: Cook Islands -- Episode 2

Billy may have found love on Survivor: Cook Islands, but love wasn't enough to save him from elimination. It might have helped if that love was requited and the object of his affections was on his tribe.

Day four started out well enough for the Aitu tribe. J.P. attributed the team's successful fish catching and fire building to their Latino heritage: "We're hard workers." Ozzy was even able to rig a net trap and catch a wild chicken.

To show viewers that Asians can do everything more efficiently, the show cut immediately to Yul setting up a box trap at Puka camp and catching two chickens.

Jonathan returned to Raro from a cold and miserable stay on Exile Island, during which he'd failed to find the hidden Immunity Idol. Adding to his frustration was his discovery that the tribe didn't do anything to improve the camp while he was gone.

Jessica the fire dancer was game to help him construct a floor for the shelter, but the rest of the tribe preferred to gossip on the beach. Adam protested that building a floor for the shelter was a waste of energy when they could just sleep on the cold, wet sand.

At the Aitu camp, Billy also preferred to conserve his meager energy reserves, and Ozzy was sick of having to tell him what to do. Billy confessed to Cristina and Cecilia that he didn't subscribe to the Hispanic hard work ethic. Hard rocker that he is, Billy declared, "Metal is my culture."

Cultural relic Cao Boi used his magical headache cure on Jenny. He left a red mark on her forehead, to match Brad's from last week, but Jenny wasn't complaining. "At least my headache's gone."

As they had last week, the four other members of Puka had to ask Cao Boi to stop telling racist Asian jokes. They feared that non-Asians might feel that Cao Boi was confirming negative stereotypes by telling his jokes, one of which involved a Vietnamese person and several dogs. "A joke is a joke," Cao Boi insisted. "No, it's not," the others replied in unison. Cao Boy clammed up, and he never did get to the punchline of that dog joke.

Back at Aitu, Billy's snoring kept everyone awake, so they sat around the fire eating coconut and talking. Ozzy suggested throwing the next Immunity Challenge in order to get rid of Billy. J.P. agreed, but Cristina was hesitant. She didn't like the idea of throwing a challenge on principle, and was also concerned that it might give Ozzy too much power.

Jeff Probst started the The Immunity Challenge with a story about Captain Cook, the island chain's namesake. The teams then navigated an obstacle course while tied together, retrieving seven wooden plaques along the way. On the plaques were written answers to questions about Jeff's Captain Cook story. The first three teams to answer five questions correctly (two of the plaques were red herrings) won Immunity. And the first team overall won two water-proof tarps.

To even the teams, Puka, Raro, and Aitu each had to sit one of their members. Being the least fit tribe member, Billy volunteered to sit out. But J.P. insisted on sitting out, and thus the challenge was thrown.

Just to be sure they had no chance of winning, Aitu stayed at the starting line while the other teams took off, reading a printed copy of the story Jeff told -- just to be sure they had all of the details right. As the other teams flew through the course, gathering one answer plaque after another, Ozzy lead Aitu at a snail's pace.

Puka and Raro completed the course and answered their questions at exactly the same time. Because of the tie, both teams were given Immunity and the Reward. Hiki finished just as Aitu was crossing a rope bridge suspended over a pit of water. For good measure, Ozzy even "accidentally" shook one of the ropes, sending Billy into the water pit.

As the losing team, Aitu chose to send Yul to Exile Island. While Yul said good-bye to his teammates, Billy turned to the girls of the Raro tribe and said, "I'm next." Candice said, "Aww. We love you." Billy awkwardly and sincerely replied, "I love you."

On Exile Island, Yul accomplished what Jonathan couldn't, figuring out the clues and digging up the hidden Immunity Idol. For the second time in one episode, Yul bested the alpha male of another tribe. His competition doesn't know it yet, but Yul's this season's biggest stud.

At Aitu's camp, Billy followed Cristina when she went to get water. He told her that he knew that the team threw the challenge, and then asked Cristina if she was sure that Ozzy wouldn't throw the next challenge just to get rid of her. She confessed that she doesn't trust Ozzy, and promised to talk to Cecilia on Billy's behalf.

Cristina found Cecilia on the beach and asked her, in Spanish, if she had any kind of agreement with Ozzy. Cecilia said that she did not, and the two considered booting Ozzy instead of Billy.

As Tribal Council drew near, Ozzy was confident that the women wouldn't turn on him: "I know they're gonna suffer really bad if they lose me." And Billy held out hope for a miracle: "My hand is a weak hand, but at least I got one queen."

At Tribal Council, Billy told Jeff that the tribe threw the challenge, and J.P. confirmed it. But Billy said that the challenge gave him a new reason to want to stay in the game. "I'm playing the game for love," Billy said. He described the exchange that took place between him and Candice and called it was love at first sight. Jeff was flabbergasted, but Billy insisted that he was serious.

Upon Billy's declaration of love for Candice, Cristina and Cecilia exchanged confused looks with one another. His disclosure may have been the last straw, because the women sided with Ozzy and J.P. and voted out Billy.

Billy was laid back in his post-elimination confessional. He was amused that he, a true metalhead, was kicked off by a guy named Ozzy. "I got to live the dream of playing Survivor," Billy said. "Too bad there's not a heavy metal tribe. I think I would've fit in there."

DwtS 3 -- Results Show Week 2

It was the battle of the blondes on this week's DwtS 3 Results Show. Shanna Moakler was sent home, tonight. And, after two weeks at the bottom, Willa Ford looks to be in big danger next week.

After recapping last night's performances, the judges' selected Joey & Edyta for an encore of their Quickstep. Their excitement from last night's high scores carried over into tonight's dance, as the two smiled brightly throughout the performance.

Their dance was followed by the professionals demonstrating the Jive, one of next week's celebrity dances. When you think of the Jive, Billy Idol's song "Rebel Yell" is generally the accompanying soundtrack that plays in your head, right? Me neither. Yet that's the song they danced to, and it was more than a little weird. Kym didn't participate because of her knee injury.
As the pros cleared the floor, Samantha was backstage talking with some of the celebrities. She credited "Max and Willa" for choreographing the Jive routine, much to Willa's surprise. Mario gave Willa a high five, which she accepted with a happy but confused expression.

Samantha asked Willa about the level of competition this season. Willa said she was worried last night, after she and Max performed first and received decent, but not overwhelming, scores. "I kept thinking, 'Somebody's gotta suck.' And nobody sucked!"

Back on the dance floor, Tom was waiting to introduce this week's package of interview clips from last night's studio audience. Like last week, the famous people in the audience dominated the segment. Comedian George Lopez threw his support behind Mario, a fellow Lopez. Ted Danson said that he was pulling for Harry: "He's a few years older than I am, so my heart goes out to him." (Danson is actually almost four years older than Harry.)

Then Tom and Samantha introduced the first three couples moving on to next week's show. They were Sara & Tony, Emmitt & Cheryl, and Joey & Edyta.

Julio Iglesias took the stage to perform his cover of Foreigner's '80s hit, "I Want to Know What Love Is." One of the band's female singers provided backing shrieks -- er, vocals -- near the end. Mercifully, Max & Cheryl danced, to distract from the singing. Cheryl's dress was red hot, as was their Rumba.

My prediction for next week's results show: Neil Diamond sings "Juke Box Hero."

Backstage with the safe couples, Sam corrected herself and gave credit to Max and Karina, not Willa, for choreographing the Jive. Sara joked that Tony's moving in with her, so that they can train nonstop. And Emmitt said, to be tops with the judges, he and Cheryl had to "work a little bit harder." Cheryl quickly corrected him: "A lot harder."

From the dance floor, Tom quipped about Samantha's interview segment, "I don't know what's going on with Tony's hair, but he's standing between two bald gentlemen (Joey and Emmitt), and bald's starting to look pretty good." Backstage, Tony broke into a fit of laughter, the likes of which even Harry's new yogi has never seen.

Then Tom reintroduced Tysonia, the non-celebrity Slim Fast Challenge contestant. In this week's taped segment, she performed a Tango in front of an African dance class, to get the experience of performing in front of a larger audience. It's a pretty safe bet that, by the end of the season, she'll be brought out to perform on the same stage as the stars.

Tysonia's amateur Tango was followed by a live performance by a couple of Tango pros: Jordi Caballero & Claudia Velasco. The performance included plenty of lifts that the celebrities will not be able to include in their routines next week, but the dance still lacked a little something.

Apparently, Tucker wasn't as cool with his early departure as he seemed last week. He returned to grill the judges, in a pretaped interview segment entitled "Tucker Carlson: Behind the Sequins." He was critical of the subjectivity of the judges' scores. But Tucker admitted that his departure was "a little like euthanasia: sad but necessary."

In another pretaped segment, the celebs talked about the stress of the elimination process. Monique said that the red spotlight shining on the couples at the bottom was "like being sent to hell." Willa said, "I've never felt such failure as I did last week." But Harry was confident about his own chances: "I think I'm gonna stay in the competition. I don't think I have to change anything." And Shanna was determined: "I want to win this competition. We are not going home tonight."

Onstage, Tom and Samantha cycled through the remaining couples, until they'd pared them down to the Bottom Two: Willa & Max and Shanna & Jesse. Max looked sad and resigned to going home.

But Shanna & Jesse were eliminated, causing Max to fall down in a pretend faint. Willa climbed on top of him and mimicked CPR. Tom sped through Shanna's goodbyes, because the show was running out of time. This week's subtle jab of a departure song: "Leavin' on a Jet Plane."

DwtS 3 -- Performance Show Week 2

Former child stars Joey Lawrence and Mario Lopez may be interchangeable after all. A great performance by Joey vaulted him into the top spot on Dancing with the Stars 3, while a choreographic misstep sent early favorite Mario to the bottom.

Host Tom Bergeron announced at the top of the show that, despite injuring her knee earlier in the week, Kym Johnson had recovered enough to continue as Jerry Springer's partner.

Then Tom and co-host Samantha Harris explained the criteria for the night's dances. The Mambo -- the female celebrities' dance for this week -- requires fast steps, rhythmic hips, clever arm movements, and moves known as body rocks. The Quickstep -- which the males stars would be attempting -- is executed with fast, synchronized steps and powerful runs, as well as moves like the Charleston and the Chasse.

Tom then introduced the evening's first performer: Willa Ford. As he did last week, Tom called Willa the show's "bad girl," a label she'll likely have to shed to have any shot. (Willa called herself the "Bad Girl of Pop" back in 2001, and the title has stuck, even if she has yet to do or say anything controversial on DwtS.)

Willa Ford & Maksim Chmerkovskiy - Mambo
Even though she was excited about doing a sexy Latin dance, Willa had trouble mastering the Mambo in practice. She repeatedly left the studio, but Max learned to wait her out, as she always returned after a few seconds. Willa was more frustrated with herself than with Max, and, over time, it seemed he was able to get through to her.

Judging by the performance she gave on the dance floor, Willa's practice struggles were worth the trouble. She had a lot of energy and looked well suited for the Latin dances. And she's a good partner for Max; he can show off, while she's able to hold her own. The routine ended with two cool drops. Afterward, Max gave her a proud peck on the cheek.

Head judge Len Goodman said, "It was fantastic. I loved the turns." Bruno Tonioli declared Willa "almost too hot to handle. The girl can shake." Carrie Ann told Willa, "You were my favorite of the women from last week, by far." But as for this week? "Sometimes you got a little out of control, got ahead of the music."

While waiting for the judges' scores backstage, Willa told Samantha that she knows she's not as famous as some of the other stars, and the audience will need to get to know if her if she wants to last until the end. Then, while Samantha explained the voting process, Willa grabbed the mic and said, "Vote for me!" She should get votes just for taking the mic away from Samantha.
Judges' Scores...Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 8, Bruno: 8 = 23/30

Harry Hamlin & Ashly DelGrosso - Quickstep
In order to loosen Harry up, Ashly took him to a session of laughter yoga, which, logically enough, consists of laughing while you do yoga. It was as silly as it sounds, and Harry looked ridiculous trying to fake something close to laughter... until he really started laughing, and then couldn't stop.

As a nod to last week's stiff performance, Harry started the routine standing ramrod straight. Then their music kicked in: "Lust for Life" by Iggy Pop. Harry still looked a little awkward, but he's definitely a Standard ballroom guy. The performance was much better than last week, though the choreography was a little bland.

Bruno told Harry, "You're coming out of the shell. You kept the hold all the way through." Len said the hardest thing for the male celebrities to do is to keep the hold, which Harry did. However, Len also said he wished he'd seen a little more rise and fall in Harry's step. Carrie said that Harry had "great posture. I thought it was fantastic." Confirming that Standard is more his style, Harry said, "I don't have one molecule of Latin DNA in me."
Judges' Scores...Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 7, Bruno: 7 = 21/30

Monique Coleman & Louis van Amstel - Mambo
Heeding Len's advice, Louis worked on his chemistry with Monique, taking her on a gondola ride. In practice, to show his confidence in Monique's abilities, Louis worked in a difficult trick at the end of the routine that he would normally only try with another professional.

Louis' jacket was super sparkly and very distracting (at least to me--and to all the infants watching). Monique was totally on point with all of her moves, but Louis' speedy legs and crisp movements had the effect of making Monique look a bit slower, by comparison. She can really shake it, and they pulled off the finishing trick without a hitch.

Carrie Ann told Monique, "You're a hot, wild, young lady." Len said the performance was "absolutely knockout." Bruno told Monique, "You're bringing sexy back big time. You were like a kitten, purring around the dance floor."
Judges' Scores...Carrie Ann: 9, Len: 8, Bruno: 9 = 26/30

Mario Lopez & Karina Smirnoff - Quickstep
Karina said she wasn't sure if some of the moves they were doing this week were illegal. But she kept them in, anyway, as they played to Mario's strengths. After practice, Mario took Karina boxing to show off his footwork in the ring, and she beat the stuffing out of him.

Karina had good reason to worry about this routine, because it was only a Quickstep by the loosest standards. Mario was very bouncy, and the duo failed to included many of the required moves, making it more of a Freestyle dance. It was crowd-pleasing but failed to capture the spirit of the dance. Hopefully, the choreography was just a rookie mistake on Karina's part.

Bruno said the routine was "the Quickstep gone berserk, an impressionistic version of the Quickstep." The crowd booed, and Bruno yelled back, "Stop booing me! Shut up!" Carrie agreed with Bruno: "You guys are fabulous. What are you doing?" Len said there was "no hold and no posture. It was a Latin dance; it wasn't a Quickstep. Do the proper stuff, not all that rubbish."
Judges' Scores...Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 6, Bruno (shrugs): 8 = 21/30

Shanna Moakler & Jesse DeSoto - Mambo
Jesse's a Mambo champ, and Shanna said she was intimidated by his sexiness during practice. She also said that, despite her beauty pageant experience and posing for Playboy, she wasn't confident that she could pull off a sexy dance routine.

Her brown dress with tan fringe looked slightly cowgirl, so I was sure their song had to be a country song. But the music kicked in, and it was "Jump," by former youngster hip-hoppers Kriss Kross. It was probably the last song anyone expected. Shanna couldn't nail the necessary fast leg work, and the tempo of the song made the routine feel even slower. It was solid, but not loose enough to be great.

Len said this week was "much, much better. You were right with him the whole way through." Bruno told Shanna, "You're still not quite there, but carry on with the work, and you'll get there." Carrie Ann said, "Shanna, I don't know what you're still worried about. That was a good, solid Mambo."
Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 7, Bruno: 7 = 22/30

Jerry Springer & Kym Johnson - Quickstep
Kym hyperextended her knee while practicing a Jive routine with some of the other pros. As she worried that Jerry would fall behind in his Quickstep training, he feared that her injury could be career ending. After some medical tests, Kym was cleared to perform with Jerry, who told her, "Dancing with me, you're always dancing in pain."

They donned 1920s era outfits, and danced to "Sing, Sing Sing." Jerry showed a lot of improvement from last week; He's much more comfortable with Standard than Latin. He even generated some good speed near the end. It was a credible performance that left the crowd chanting, "Jerry! Jerry!"

Bruno told Jerry, "You covered a lot of mishaps with a great performance." Carrie Ann was "very impressed," and remarked that Kym's injury didn't seem to affect her performance. Len said that he wasn't going to cut them any slack because of Kym's injury. Then he had some advice for Jerry, because "I've always looked up to you as a father figure. You can't keep up with the younger guys, so work on the things you can, technique and hold. You can be better than any of them." Tom told Len, "I thought the only person you looked up to as a father figure was Methuselah."

While waiting for the judges' scores, Samantha asked if Kym's injury made Jerry nervous about his chances. He looked at Kym and said, "Oh yeah. Like we're gonna lose because of your knee." In the background, Willa and Max nearly fell off their chairs from laughing so hard at Jerry's constant stream of self-deprecating comments.
Judges' Scores...Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 6, Bruno: 6 = 19/30

Vivica A. Fox & Nick Kosovich - Mambo
For their routine, Nick left his shirt open, exposing an oven-roasted chest, reminiscent of Kramer on the episode of Seinfeld where he exchanges his sunblock for butter. Their routine felt the most authentic, like something you might see at a club. In her heels, Vivica was still able to execute a perfect cartwheel.

Len said, "You sold that, and I loved the spins. But it was like a pizza: the top half was hot and spicy; the bottom was doughy." After Nick remarked that some people like the crust, Bruno took the pizza analogy in a creepy direction and said, "The crust...is tasty!" Carrie Ann said, "The beginning was weak, but near the end, you brought it to the floor."
Judges' Scores...Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 8, Bruno: 8 = 24/30

Joey Lawrence & Edyta Sliwinska - Quickstep
During rehearsal, Joey said the Quickstep made him feel "like a marionette or a robot." It was so hard, that "it's like math." He showed Edyta a tap routine he did when he was 5, and she decided to work it into the routine.

They danced to "I've Got Rhythm," another lively and appropriate song, like "Sing, Sing, Sing." Joey's practice fears were unfounded. The performance was fun and crowd-pleasing, while still looking like a real Quickstep -- definitely the best of the night. The studio audience loved it, including Ted Danson, who dropped by to promote his new show, Danson with the Stars.

Carrie Ann said, "Last week, you were boring. This week, you were f-...oops, I almost swore...you were fantastic!" Len called it "the performance of the night. Beautiful rise and fall." Bruno said the routine was "worthy of the golden age of Hollywood," which was exactly what Joey and Edyta were going for. Joey couldn't stop thanking the judges and blowing kisses to the audience.
Carrie Ann - 10, Len - 9, Bruno - 10 = 29/30

Sara Evans & Tony Dovolani - Mambo
This week, Sara took Tony to her house near Nashville, so that he could meet some of her fans.

Sara is a beautiful woman, but she didn't bring enough passion to the Mambo. The routine was cute and fun, but not sexy. Sara smiled a lot more than she did last week, but the smile hardly reached her eyes, as you could see how hard she was concentrating on her steps. It was an improvement, and Sara's working hard, but she's got a ways to go before being as comfortable on the dance floor as she is behind a microphone.

Len said Sara was "much, much better than last week. I liked your hip action, but you dance too carefully." Carrie called it "a very nice, safe Mambo." Bruno said, "This is the Sara I wanted to see. Go for it. I want you to kill me on that dance floor."
Judges' Scores...Carrie Ann: 7, Len: 7, Bruno: 7 = 21/30

Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke - Quickstep
Emmitt's used to running with his shoulders forward, so he struggled with the straight posture of the Quickstep. He's also a perfectionist, leading him to put so much pressure on himself that he wasn't having a good time on the first day of rehearsal.

During the performance, Emmitt stayed in character, smiling the whole time, and looking like he meant it. He even sang along with some of the music. Cheryl made a point of working ways in for Emmitt to show off his personality, while still executing the necessary Quickstep moves. It was a nice balance of elements.

Bruno told Emmitt, "You have such a natural charisma, you're so light on your feet. Go take ballet with Vivica." Carrie asked Emmitt, "Would you mind if I called you Twinkle Toes?" Len said, "It was not quite as good as your Cha Cha last week, but it was still a great performance."
Judges' Scores...Carrie Ann: 8, Len: 8, Bruno: 8 = 24/30

Leaderboard:
1 - Joey - 29
2 - Monique - 26
3 - Vivica, Emmitt - 24
5 - Willa - 23
6 - Shanna - 22
7 - Harry, Mario, Sara - 21
10 - Jerry - 19

Joey got my vote tonight. He was clearly the best of the week, and he deserves to be rewarded for it. I'm guessing Willa and Shanna are in the most trouble. If one of them goes, it could be good for the other, as viewers will no longer have to wonder which young blonde is which.

DwtS In-Season Update: 9-18-06

Now that we've seen the DwtS 3 celebrities in action, it's time to revise the predictions I made before the season began. I'm 0-for-1 so far, as I had Shanna & Jesse going before Tucker & Elena. In my defense, that was before I saw Tucker dance.

Here's where I have the dancers slotted this week...

10. Shanna Moakler & Jesse DeSoto
Preseason Rank - 11
Shanna wasn't one of the better celeb dancers, and she had little chemistry with Jesse. On top of that, her tale of enduring a celebrity divorce wasn't compelling enough to help her escape the Bottom Three. The sob story route will wear even thinner as the weeks go on, so Shanna needs to exhibit some more personality (and dance better) if she means to stick around.

9. Willa Ford & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Preseason Rank - 4
Despite tying for third with the judges, Willa still wound up in the bottom three, after the fan vote was added in. If we learned anything from Stacy Keibler's popularity problems near the end of last season, it's that DwtS fans are not easily beguiled by gorgeous blondes. Willa may be able to turn things around with a few weeks of perfect dancing, but she might not be given that much time. That would be too bad, since she danced well and seemed fun... and her partner is Max.

8. Harry Hamlin & Ashly DelGrosso
Preseason Rank - 1
I said that the only way Harry could lose is if he couldn't dance. Harry can't dance.

7. Monique Coleman & Louis van Amstel
Preseason Rank - 6
Monique seems like a nice girl and a competent dancer. She just may not have the chops or the star power to last long into the competition.

6. Jerry Springer & Kym Johnson
Preseason Rank - 8
After finishing in 9th place last week, Jerry needed a huge number of fan votes to stay out of the Bottom Three. He got the votes he needed, which should scare the sequins off of his competitors. Jerry's only way out may be to ask his fans to stop voting for him.

5. Joey Lawrence & Edyta Sliwinska
Preseason Rank - 7
Joey had a good first performance, but there's still room to improve. Now that they've seen the competition, it's up to Edyta to craft some show-stopping routines for Joey.

4. Sara Evans & Tony Dovolani
Preseason Rank - 3
Sara had an even lower score than Jerry. Yet she, too, avoided the Bottom Three thanks to an active fanbase. Sara was a little nervous in her first outing, but she's got enough potential -- and enough fans around the country -- that she should stick around for a long time. Tony is still the key; he needs to adjust and choreograph to his partner's strengths. Sara Evans isn't Stacy Keibler, but she doesn't have to be.

3. Vivica A. Fox & Nick Kosovich
Preseason Rank - 2
Vivica gave a wonderful performance last week, and she looks to be the alpha female of the competition. She's also the biggest star in the field, and I'd guess she has enough support to fend off fan favorites like Jerry and Sara, who don't dance at the same level.

2. Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke
Preseason Rank - 5
Jerry Rice finished in second place last season, and he's not even as good a dancer as Emmitt is. Emmitt's popularity and talent should keep the other celebrities on their toes; one wrong move, and Emmitt could win the whole thing. If he remains the fan favorite, all Emmitt has to do is survive to the final three, and then come in second with the judges. Since the fan votes are the tiebreaker, Emmitt would get the trophy.

1. Mario Lopez & Karina Smirnoff
Preseason Rank - 9
For now, I have to rank the season's best dancer in the number one spot. However, there are rumors floating around that Mario's had extensive dance training, contradicting what he said on last week's show. Couple that news with the fact that his cheating ways led his wife to divorce him in less than one week, and Mario could lose a good chunk of his fan support. He needs to be perfect from here on out to stay in the top spot.


In Other DwtS News:
If you placed a bet that Jerry Springer & Kym Johnson were the most likely pair to succumb to a season-ending injury, you'd be right. But it was Kym who blew out her knee during practice, not Jerry. Kym's out of the competition, and Jerry is currently training with Nick Kosovich's wife. We'll find out tomorrow night if she'll be his partner for the remainder of the season.

Fans of Cheryl Burke will get an extra chance to see her this week, as she guest stars on an episode of The Suite Life of Zack & Cody on the Disney Channel. The episode, which airs on Thursday, September 22, also features some routines choreographed by Louis van Amstel.

Cheryl's former partner, Drew Lachey, will be the special guest on the October 4 DwtS Results Show.

Tucker Carlson revealed in an interview why he danced so poorly last week. He was rattled because his shirt had been sewn to his underwear in order to keep the shirt from coming untucked during the performance. I'd probably have trouble dancing under those conditions, myself.

TAR 10 Premiere

The premiere of The Amazing Race 10 featured one of the most ethnically diverse casts in the shows' history. But by the end of the episode, that diversity had been reduced significantly.

CBS featured two teams in most of the ads leading up to the season premiere: Muslim friends Bilal & Sa'eed, and disabled triathlete Sarah & her boyfriend, Peter. Though those two teams may have been the most interesting to look at, they weren't necessarily the most interesting people.

For example, there's Mary, a wife and mother whose self-esteem is low enough that she thinks her husband, David, is "too cute" for her. David is a coal miner from Kentucky, who looks like...a coal miner from Kentucky.

Tyler & James were introduced as "recovering drug addicts and models," though I'm not sure how one recovers from modelling. As they introduced themselves, we saw an old photo of one of the guys, glossy-eyed and clutching a tank of nitrous.

And my favorite unintentional comedy team is Kellie & Jamie, a pair of cheerleaders who wondered aloud if Muslims worship Buddha.

The teams started the race in Seattle, Washington. Host Phil Keoghan promised that, in addition to eight elimination legs, there were new surprises afoot this season. Maybe teams that lose non-elimination legs will spend a night on Exile Island.

After Phil's sendoff, teams drove to the airport en route to Beijing, China. Korean-American brothers Erwin & Godwin were eager to "get back to the homeland. Even though we're not Chinese."

At the airport, teams jockeyed to get on the first of two planes heading to China. The first, a United flight, left an hour before the second, on Korean Air. However, only six teams would be allowed on the United flight.

As they waited in the gate for the first plane, Alabama single moms Lyn & Karlyn were annoyed that Sarah, who has a prosthetic leg, took advantage of the early boarding privileges for passengers with disabilities. It seemed there was little strategic reason to take advantage of the early boarding privilege, and such moves could undercut Sarah's desires to be viewed like everybody else.

Because of a delay for the United flight, the two planes arrived within a half-hour of one another. Beauty Queens Dustin & Kandice lost the meager lead they had when they became the season's first victims of a bad cab driver. He took them to multiple restaurants before they were able to find the one featured on their clue: the Gold House Restaurant.

In The Amazing Race, a restaurant is usually a harbinger of disgusting things to come. The Gold House was no exception. A Road Block instructed one team member to dig into a bowl of fish head stew (Eww!), pluck out the fishes' eyeballs (Eww! Eww!), and eat them (Eww! x 1000).

Father/Daughter team Duke & Lauren arrived at the restaurant first. Their relationship has been on thin ice since Lauren came out as a lesbian. Fortunately, as everyone knows, the first step in mending a troubled family relationship is for the elder member to eat fish eyes in the presence of the the younger member.

Dustin & Kandice recovered from their bad cabbie to wind up in the middle of the pack, thanks to a local boy who led them to the restaurant on foot.

Erwin & Godwin weren't so lucky. Their driver was equally bad, but they'd been on the second flight, so they had no room for error. By the time the brothers arrived at the Gold House, only Bilal & Sa'eed and Indian-American couple Vipul and Arti were left. But those teams were already finishing up their eyeballs.

From the restaurant, teams traveled by taxi to the Meridian Gate within the Forbidden City. Teams chose one of three departure times for the next morning from tickets on a pillar. Four tickets read "7:00," four read "7:15," three read "7:30," and one read, "Last Team." This ticket signified one of the surprises Phil had mentioned earlier.

Erwin & Godwin lucked into a fast cabbie after the restaurant, and they arrived at the gate at the same time as Bilal & Sa'eed. The brothers won a footrace to the tickets, and Bilal and Sa'eed drew the final ticket.

The ticket instructed the final team to head to the traditional Pit Stop mat, where Phil waited for them. Phil informed Bilal and Sa'eed that, even though this was not a Pit Stop, they had been eliminated from the race.

After an initial moment of shock, Bilal said that the surprise elimination proved that "you have no control over anything. The Creator does." He's right. It's Jerry Bruckheimer's show, and that guy does whatever he wants.

With the fear of God, or at least the producers, put into them, teams departed the next morning in the following order:
7 :00 - Peter & Sarah, Lyn & Karlyn, Tyler & James, and Duke & Lauren
7:15 - Kellie & Jamie, Mary & David, Dustin & Kandice, and boyfriends Tom & Terry
7:30 - Erwin & Godwin, Vipul & Arti, and dating couple Rob & Kimberly

Teams rode on WWII motorcycles with sidecars, instructing their drivers to a particular intersection. There, they hopped in a pedicab and rode to a Detour: "Labor or Leisure."

In Labor, teams rode to a market and paved a section of sidewalk, using bricks to create a specific pattern. It was the more labor-intensive of the two tasks, but it could be completed quickly if teams figured out the pattern and avoided bickering with each other.

In Leisure, teams traveled to a park to learn a Tai Chi-like routine that involved balancing a ball on a paddle. The task required balance, patience, and rhythm

Most of the teams chose Labor, including Vipul & Arti, who'd gotten lost on their motor bikes and arrived at the Detour in last place. The Labor Detour brought out the worst in some teams, and Mary & David and Rob & Kimberly seem the teams most likely to bicker this season.

Peter's nitpicky criticism of Sarah as they worked on their brick pattern grated on Karlyn's nerves. "He tries to micromanage so much," Karlyn muttered. "They can kiss my behind."

Kellie & Jamie and Tom & Terry, the only teams to choose the Leisure Detour, got stuck in traffic on their way to the park. Kellie & Jamie started a cheer, which Tom & Terry repeated, to the cheerleaders' delight.

At the park, both teams spent a good amount of time twirling and launching balls all over the place before finally getting the hang of it. Task completed, both teams made their way to the Pit Stop -- Juyongguan, part of the Great Wall.

In order to reach the Pit Stop, teams needed to scale a wall using a rope with loops spaced every few feet. The technique was difficult to master, putting one foot in a loop while pulling up with the arms in order to put the second foot in a higher loop.

The task was especially difficult for Sarah. She had to rely almost completely on her upper body strength as she hopped from one loop to the next. Thanks to her triathlon training, Sarah already had a strong upper body, and she actually finished the task in what appeared to be less time than some of the other women.

Peter bagged his nitpicking while she climbed, but his efforts at encouragement took on a hyperbolic, patronizing air. "You are a world-class athlete," he shouted. "No one else could do this... I'm going to cry when you make it." (He didn't.) Sarah and Peter met because he designs prosthetic legs, and it seems as if he might have co-opted Sarah's personal struggles as his own.

Models Tyler & James scaled the wall with relative ease and reached the finish mat in first place, winning a $20,000 prize. An emotional Lauren, who cried because she was so happy to be spending time with her dad again, finished in second place alongside daddy Duke. Sarah & Peter came in third, followed by Dustin & Kandice.

Rob & Kimberly, who'd given her cabbie instructions to head to "the Great Wall...the Great Wall of China," finished in fifth. They were followed by Kellie & Jamie, Erwin & Godwin, and Tom & Terry. Karlyn, Lyn, and Mary all struggled to hoist themselves up the wall, but the Alabama moms edged out the Kentucky couple for ninth.

David told Mary they were in last place, and she apologized to him as she climbed the final stretch of wall. They didn't know that Vipul and Arti had yet to even arrive at the wall. At the mat, Phil informed Dave & Mary that they were actually in tenth place. Overjoyed at still being in the race, and angry with her husband for making her feel bad, Mary hugged Phil and the Chinese greeter at the Pit Stop before hugging her spouse.

Vipul & Arti, eventually showed up and were eliminated. They were happy to have had the chance to race, however brief it was. Their elimination, along with Bilal's & Sa'eed's elimination earlier in the leg, brought the total number of non-white teams competing from four to two. Hopes for an ethnically diverse season may be short-lived if this keeps up.

Next week, Rob & Kimberly have what should be the first of many fights. And temperamental horses and oxen give the teams trouble -- and me a reason to live. There's nothing I love more than a troublesome ox.

Survivor: Cook Islands -- Episode 1

The premiere of Survivor: Cook Islands showed that the media furor over dividing the teams along ethnic lines was largely unwarranted. Things went pretty much they same way they always do on the show. The good-looking people banded together, and the lazy guy was eliminated first.

When the boat carrying the latest crop of castaways neared its destination, each teams loaded what supplies they could onto a raft and paddled to shore. Billy, of the Latino team, Aitu, said he felt as if he was undoing some of the choices his parents made years ago. They'd left the Dominican Republic by boat to reach the United States, and here he was leaving America to paddle to another island.

Rebecca, of the African-American team, Hiki, saw their trip to shore as a chance to disprove some stereotypes: "Yes, black people do swim. Yes, black people do know how to get on a boat and paddle. We don't just run track."

For the most part, the Hiki tribe got along well. Sundra and Rebecca, both of whom sport long braids and wear yellow shirts, formed a bond because they both live in New York. Sekou tried to take charge of preparing the camp, but undermined his own authority by following each command with a lengthy break. His breaks left the third woman on the tribe, Stephannie, in "a state of pisstation."

Puka, the team of Asian-Americans, hadn't even reached shore before Cao Boi (pronounced "cowboy") offended all of his teammates with a ceaseless flow of Asian jokes. Despite some regional ancestral similarities, Cao Boi couldn't be more different from his teammates. He fled wartime Vietnam as a child, while his teammates -- whose parents or grandparents hail from places as diverse as the Philippines, Korea, and Hawaii -- were all born in the continental United States.

Cao Boi's cultural peculiarities weren't entirely without value. Cao Boi's knowledge of Eastern folk medicine helped him diagnose Brad's headache as a case of "bad wind," which Cao Boi treated by roughly massaging Brad's face, and then pulling and pinching the skin at the bridge of Brad's nose. The headache disappeared, although the treatment did have an unfortunate side effect: a giant red mark between Brad's eyes.

The Caucasian tribe, Raro, seemed the most uncomfortable with the potentially politically incorrect tribal divisions. But they got over it, jokingly referring to themselves as the "Whiteys."

It didn't take Raros Adam and Candice long to realize they're not only white; they're also young, fit, and attractive. Thus, they felt obligated to start snuggling romantically on the first night.

At their camp, Raro flipped over a wooden box as a makeshift chicken coop for their two chickens -- one of which Adam had grabbed from the supply boat legitimately, and the other that Jonathan had stolen from the Puka tribe en route to the island. Jessica, this season's dreadlocked fire dancer, absentmindedly lifted the box, and the chickens quickly escaped into the jungle -- where, to this day, they rule with an iron fist over all the island's other beasts.

At the Immunity Challenge, teams learned that the first three teams to complete the challenge would win both immunity from Tribal Council and a flint for making fire. The first place team would receive additional fire-making supplies, such as matches, kindling, and Aqua-Net.

Before the challenge started, host Jeff Probst made small talk, asking the teams about their supply situation. Brad and Yul pointed to Jonathan as the man who stole their chicken. Jonathan shrugged, unconvincingly.

The challenge consisted of two parts. Part one required each team to assemble a boat, grab an unlit torch, row to a fiery platform, light their torch on fire, and return to shore.

Ashore, teams solved four small block puzzles (which composed the letters N, S, E, and W). Once the puzzles were complete, teams placed the puzzle blocks in appropriate slots on a wall: N on top, S on the bottom, etc. They then used pieces from their boat to create a ladder up the wall. The challenge was complete when the team members climbed the ladder to a platform, still holding their torch.

Hiki fell behind early when they couldn't figure out how to assemble their boat. They made a push near the end when Raro struggled with their small block puzzles, but couldn't make up the difference.

The consolation prize for losing was a chance to send any contestant from one of the other three teams for a two day stay on Exile Island. As payback for stealing Puka's chicken, the men of Hiki (who didn't consult the women of their tribe) chose Jonathan.

Before Tribal Council, the two Hiki men, Sekou and Nathan, tried to convince Stephannie that she'd never be able to break up an alliance between the two women from New York, Sundra and Rebecca. Since the same was probably true of buddies Sekou and Nathan -- and since Sekou's laziness already annoyed her -- Stephannie stuck with the ladies and voted off Sekou.

Nathan didn't seem too troubled by the vote, since Jeff gave the tribe flint on their way back to camp. The prospect of a toasty fire and parasite-free water was enough incentive to make him forget all about Sekou.

Rock Star: Supernova -- Finale

After 11 weeks of competition, it turns out that none of the Rock Star contestants will be the lead singer of Supernova. That doesn't mean nobody won, though.

Earlier this week, a judge determined that Tommy, Gilby, and Jason would not be allowed to call themselves Supernova, since there's already a band with that name. As of the time of this writing, they haven't decided on an alternative.

The finale began with a recap of the previous night's performances. Afterward, Brooke explained that the two rockers (as opposed to the usual three) who received the lowest number of votes would perform first to save themselves from elimination. The band would cut one person, and then the three remaining contestants would each give a final performance.

During the course of the voting, Dilana was the only one never to drop into the Bottom Two. By the time voting ended, Lukas was safe, too. So it came down to Magni and Toby to battle for a spot in the final three. They each played a song they'd performed on an earlier episode of the show, with no major changes.

Magni reprised "Fire" by Jimi Hendrix, in front of the giant video screens brought out for the occasion of the finale. Jason Newsted stood and clapped at the end of the song -- a sure sign that Magni was getting cut, as Jason has often saved his heartiest responses to show respect for those who are about to get axed. Toby played "White Wedding" by Billy Idol, and did a typically solid job.

After the band conferred over a commercial break, Gilby Clarke told Magni that he seemed more a part of the House Band rather than a true frontman, so he was being eliminated. Jason stared at the ground, resting his forehead on his hand, perhaps an indication that the band's decision was not unanimous.

Dave Navarro said that he's never had a bad thing to say about Magni, and that he's loved throughout the world. Magni thanked everyone involved, focusing special attention on the House Band. He said Gilby was right; he didn't want to front the House Band, just be a part of it. Hopefully Mark Burnett was listening and will take Magni up on his offer next season.

As Magni left the stage, and Jason turned to Dave and said, "He's heading off to become the King of Iceland."

Then the Final Three joined Brooke onstage, where she gave each of them a chance for some final words to the band. Lukas said that he was most impressed that the guys were nice, despite being so rich and successful. Dilana said that, while Lukas and Toby are great, she's "the one." Toby said that he deserved to win because he's taller than Lukas and Dilana.

Then it was time for the final performances of the season. Lukas sang "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve, Dilana did "Zombie" by The Cranberries, and Toby performed "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers. Supernova conferred one final time, pretending they hadn't decided on a winner weeks ago.

Jason grabbed the mic and lauded Toby for his vocal range and energy level, before abruptly cutting him from the competition. Lukas and Dilana stood dumbfounded as Toby tried to hush the grumbling crowd. Dave told Toby he's already got a hit single on his hands with his original. Toby was gracious and thanked Superwhosit for not picking him, er, for their advice.

After Toby exited the stage, Brooke stood next to Lukas and Dilana. Dave said, "It's down to the two edgy ones. Brooke, it looks like you're about to perform a goth wedding... Ha, it's not a bad idea!"

Tommy told Lukas his look and vocals fit the band. He then told Dilana, "You're enchanting. Who doesn't love you?" Apparently, Tommy doesn't, because he then announced that the band had picked Lukas as the winner. By the end of the previous night's voting, he'd moved up to receive the highest number of votes, and the band said that helped them settle on a champion.

Dave quickly took some ecstasy and gushed over Dilana, "I absolutely adore you! You're awesome. I love you." He asked her to take part in the upcoming tour, performing with the House Band.

And Gilby said he'd offer his services to co-write and produce an album for Dilana. To distinguish himself from the other members of Supernova, who'd made a similar offer to Storm, Gilby said, "I didn't offer that to anyone else. Only to you." Dave and Tommy both said they were in, too. Jason cried silently, wondering what the hell he was thinking when he left Metallica and agreed to do this.

Then the band took the stage to perform with their new lead singer. Jason gave Lukas a quick hug, before donning an expression as if he'd punch the next person who spoke to him. Someone must've let slip that even Dateline's ratings were pummeling those of the Rock Star finale. He picked up his bass and stood as far away from Lukas as possible.

Gilby and Tommy embraced Lukas, and the band played "Be Yourself (and Five Other Cliches)," a song they'd tried a few weeks back with Toby on vocals. Tommy smiled widely during the performance, and Gilby frequently interacted with Lukas. Brooke called them back to the front of the stage to sign off for the season. Jason crossed his arms and scowled the entire time, because he was missing the end of Dancing with the Stars.

The band again took up their instruments, this time to play "It's All Love." Lukas asked Magni (who sang the song with the band last week) to come out and play acoustic guitar with them. As they performed, the credits rolled and the show faded out.

The first thing the band is going to have to do is move the songs to a key that Lukas can actually sing. Either that, or Lukas needs to work on his range. He had a rougher time with the new tunes than he did with most of his covers during the season. and Gilby's harmonies didn't mesh well with his voice, either. It wasn't the best impression to leave fans with. But it seemed fitting to go out on a sour note, since Jason already looked set to quit the band.

DWTS 3 -- Results Show Week 1

To almost nobody's surprise, Tucker Carlson was the first celebrity eliminated from Dancing with the Stars 3. But it appears that Jerry Springer is more popular that he thought. He was near the top in the audience voting, despite barely surviving his Cha Cha Cha.

During a quick recap of last night's performances, Joey Lawrence revealed that his pants ripped during his routine. Regarding his own routine, Tucker said, "Our campaign is not based on competence. It's based on fun."

After the recap, the judges asked Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke to give an encore of their Cha Cha Cha. They did, and it was pretty much a carbon copy of the original.

Tom Jones took the stage next, singing his classic, "It's Not Unusual." During the song, Louis van Amstel and Karina Smirnoff (whose outfit took fringe to new lengths) danced a Samba. Their dancing reminded viewers of the difference between professional and celebrity dancers.

As medical staff brought out a tank of oxygen and some high-waisted pants for Tom Jones after his song, Samantha Harris talked to some of the couples backstage. Sara Evans said her icy reception from the judges was shocking, but made her want to work harder. Tucker said he hoped to improve his scores by working "more actual dancing" into next week's routine.

Tom Bergeron then introduced a new show feature. Members of last night's studio audience -- including a number of non-dancing celebrities who showed up to watch the competition -- had some of their comments filmed. One man nicknamed Mario Lopez "M-Lo." Actress Holly Robinson Peete said she liked Emmitt's performance. And comedian Nicole Sullivan said, "If there's a God in heaven, we won't see Tucker sitting in a chair next week...unless it's on some other show."

Tom and Samantha brought the couples onto the dance floor to announce the first of the couples who would be safe until next week. They were Harry Hamlin & Ashly DelGrosso, Jerry Springer & Kym Johnson, Vivica A. Fox & Nick Kosovich, and Emmitt & Cheryl. The announcement of his safety prompted Jerry to mutter a confused, "What?"

Another new show feature this season is the SlimFast Dance Challenge. Working mom Tysonia Sichinga volunteered to train with professional dancer Christian Perry in the hopes of toning her arms and slimming her buns. Footage showed Tysonia learning the Mambo in five days for a performance in front of family and friends. The show will track Tysonia's progress as she attempts a new dance each week. Next up: the Tango.

In anticipation of one of the dances some celebrities will perform next week, the professionals gave a live demonstration of the Mambo. Proving that he knows how to choreograph for TV, Tony Dovolani made sure to place Maksim Chmerkovskiy front and center -- where he danced with two partners, Cheryl and Edyta Sliwinska, early in the routine.

Afterward, the pros caught their breath while Samantha talked to the four safe celebs backstage. Jerry said he was so sure he'd be eliminated, he already checked out of his hotel. He said, "Obviously people aren't voting based on the dancing."

Harry said he's looking forward to the quickstep next week "because you can be really stiff from the waist up." Vivica said she's her own biggest competition, but she's worried about "brother Emmitt over here."

After a commercial break, Tom brought all of the couples still eligible for elimination on to the dance floor and asked the judges which couple they thought should go home. Len Goodman nominated Shanna Moakler & Jesse DeSoto, saying they had "no charisma." Bruno Tonioli said it wouldn't be fair to the other competitors if Tucker stayed, because he was seated for half his dance. Carrie Ann Inaba said she wasn't impressed with what Sara brought to the dance floor.

Everyone cleared the floor so that a resuscitated Tom Jones could perform "She's a Lady." His voice sounds remarkably good, especially compared to the painful performances of Bill Medley and Barry Manilow last season. During the song, a camera pan of the audience showed Jose Canseco, a former baseball player best known for taking steroids and having a ball bounce off of his head for an opponent's home run.

Samantha and Tom then announced the next couples who'd be returning for next week: Monique Coleman & Louis, Joey & Edyta, Mario & Karina, and Sara & Tony. That left Tucker & Elena Grinenko, Shanna & Jesse, and Willa Ford & Max in the Bottom Three.

For Willa to wind up in the Bottom Three after finishing in third with the judges, it meant that she severely lacked audience support, and could be in big trouble the first time she has an off week.

For Jerry and Harry to avoid the Bottom Three, it seems they've got a surfeit of fans. Those two may last a very long time, especially if their dancing improves.

Shanna & Jesse were the first Bottom Three couple announced as safe. Willa laid her head on Max's shoulder as Tom paused dramatically... before finally announcing that Tucker & Elena had the lowest overall score and were eliminated. Tom commended Tucker for coming so far out of his comfort zone to appear on the show.

Tucker said that Kenny Mayne convinced him to participate on the show, proving that mere association with Kenny is enough to get you eliminated first. Tucker said that Elena's task was akin to "Einstein teaching addition to a slow kid." Tom then directed all of the offended slow kids to send their letters right to Tucker, and not ABC.

Rock Star: Supernova -- Performance Show Week 11

It's the final week of Rock Star: Supernova, and, in my opinion, the show lasted one week too long. With a brand new episode of Dancing with the Stars on tonight, there was little incentive to (re-)watch performances of the rockers' original songs from last week.

Dilana got the honor of introducing Ryan as the winner of the fans' choice encore, and he sang his original, "Back of Your Car." As the winner, he received a Honda CRV and a Verizon Chocolate phone. And Brooke plugged Ryan's new album, "Dark Horse," available on the Rock Star website.

Toby - "Karma Police" by Radiohead
Toby sounded okay, but the performance was probably more meaningful to people who were already fans of the song. I don't care for Radiohead, so this didn't do it for me. Then Magni played guitar on Toby's original.

Dave loved the Radiohead song and the original, and Tommy said, "Nice job." Gilby said Toby lost it on the early melody of the Radiohead song, but finished strong. Jason said Toby's performance generated a lot of energy.

Lukas - "Fix You" by Coldplay
Lukas is finally starting to open up his voice on prettier songs. He stumbled about the stage in Lukas fashion, knocking over his mic stand. The House Band sounded perfect behind him. Then he played his original acoustically -- giving the audience its best shot at understanding the lyrics.

After the set, Dave pointed out his alter ego from American Idol, Paula Abdul, who was in the audience. Tommy said Lukas's performance was, "Wow, cool as hell." Gilby called Lukas fearless. Then, plugging Thursday's Survivor: Cook Islands premiere, also on CBS, Dave said, "Grab your torch. Head back to camp."

Dilana - "Roxanne" by The Police
She can hit all of the notes of this song, which is a first for a contestant on Rock Star. But she stripped things down and took all of the rock out of the song -- a disappointment, since my favorite part of the song is the drum fill leading into the chorus. Magni, Toby, and Lukas sang backup for her. Funny that she decided to perform a song about encouraging a hooker not to turn tricks, while dressed like a hooker herself. Then she performed her original.

Dave said he loved her 1000 times more after tonight, and Tommy was similarly impressed. Jason requested matching outfits for her backup singers, as well as some choreography.

Magni - "Hush" by Deep Purple
Finally, a rock song. The band actually got to have fun with one of the covers tonight. Magni's original followed.

Dave said, "You put on a great set, now the cards are gonna fall where they may." That's executive producer code for, "You're doomed." Tommy said that, unlike the other rockers' songs, he didn't remember anything about Magni's original. Jason said he dug Magni's original, and Gilby said Magni sang great and performed well.

Early Results:
1st - Dilana
2nd - Toby
3rd - Lukas
4th - Magni

My vote went to Magni. I don't want him to win, but he doesn't deserve to be first off tomorrow night either.