Pirate Master: Episode 10

For the fourth week in a row, the Pirate Master crew cuts adrift one of the few compelling characters left. And next week's preview leads me to an hypothesis as to why CBS canceled the show.

After Azmyth's departure, Jay, Ben, and Christa pulled Nessa into the Captain's Quarters in order to tell her that she'd be coming with them to the Final Four. Nessa left the cabin secure in her position, not knowing that the meeting had been a ruse -- set up by Jay, of course -- to keep Nessa from trying to mount a resistance against them.

Sides were chosen for this week's challenge, and the odds could hardly have been more in the favor of the Captain's Black Crew. Christa had the help of Ben, Jay, and Laurel to fend off the Red Crew of Nessa, Louie, and Kendra.

With only two people to row their boat, the Red Crew fell behind early. But they were able to catch up when the Black Crew incorrectly calculated that 16 pints equals four gallons (the correct answer is two).

The Red Crew's meager lead vanished as Kendra lagged behind on a run through the jungle, and when the teams had to dive into a chilly pond and search underneath a waterfall for a clue, Kendra stayed on shore -- leaving her team with half as many people searching for their clue as the other team.

Kendra's reasons: the water was really cold, and she's not a very good swimmer anyway, so she'd probably just get in her team's way if she tried to help. For someone who's always talking about how she doesn't quit during challenges, it sure looked like quitting.

The Black Crew got their lead back by finding the clue first, but, since this is Pirate Master, the final task was a dig-about-randomly-until-you-find-something task. The Red Crew caught up, but Christa found the buried treasure first, retaining her captaincy.

Members of the Red Crew each received $10,000.

Christa employed the same strategy for assigning Black Spots as she did last week. She let crew members give her names and assigned the Spots to the two most popular suggestions, allowing her to deflect blame for the decision onto the crew.

Kendra received her fifth Black Spot, and Nessa received one as well. She went straight to Jay to complain about being back-stabbed by Christa, and he hugged her, knowing full well that he'd insisted that Christa give a Spot to Nessa.

At Pirates Court, Kendra gave the same "I'm not a quitter" speech she's given on four previous occasions. Nessa seemed genuinely flustered that she was up for elimination. She asked the crew to consider whether her strength during challenges was really more dangerous to the them than Kendra's weakness was. Nessa asked, if she was such a threat, why she had $10,000 fewer than anyone else on the ship.

Then she asked Christa, Ben, and Jay if they'd been plotting against her. All of them lied, "No." Then she received a unanimous four votes from the crew and was cut adrift.

After the crew eliminated Nessa -- one of the few entertaining characters left -- the preview for the next episode gave me insight into why CBS pulled Pirate Master from the air with only a handful of episodes left. In the preview, Kendra overhears Jay plotting with Ben to take Laurel to the Final Three, and Kendra reports the news to Captain Christa.

Based on the preview, I'm confidant that Jay doesn't reach the finale. And a finale in which Jay -- the undisputed mastermind of the season -- doesn't have a shot at winning isn't a finale worth watching.

Ben, Louie, Laurel, and Christa are all okay, but they're not that interesting. And Kendra's overestimation of the value of not quitting -- and underestimation of the value of knowing how to swim on a pirate-themed show -- is tiresome, and certainly doesn't merit $500,000.

None of those five deserve to win the show more than Jay, who not only understands the concept better than anyone else, but who's plans have created most of the drama and entertainment throughout the season. Jay not winning Pirate Master is equivalent to dopey, chest-shaving Dr. Sean outwitting Richard Hatch on the first season of Survivor.

CBS knows this, and that's why they pulled the show.

Ox Notes: July 31, 2007

In an interview with TV Guide, former Pirate Master captain Azmyth gives his take on why the show didn't score with viewers: "The television audience just didn't get to see half of the stuff the producers actually put us through." And, yes, he really believes he's a wiz at accents.

The Simple Life is no more, and insiders at E! blame the show's demise on Nicole Richie.

Speaking of sinking ships, Variety has an article about Katie Couric's lackluster first year as anchor of CBS's Evening News.

Discovery Channel's Shark Week 2007 is drawing killer ratings (yuk, yuk) -- including an audience of nearly 4 million for the Sunday night premiere of Ocean of Fear: The Worst Shark Attack Ever. For the annual event's 20th anniversary, Discovery is featuring more than 130 hours of shark-related programming, and I am loving it.

If you follow the above link to the article about Shark Week's ratings, note that Yahoo TV! has filed the post under articles about the CBS lawyer show Shark. Just think of the crossover potential if Discovery could've gotten James Woods to narrate some of their shark specials!

And if you're interested in the subject matter of Ocean of Fear -- the sinking of the USS Indianapolis during World War II -- check out the book In Harm's Way by Doug Stanton. It's a gripping account of the days sailors spent in the water at the mercy of sharks, as well as the burden borne by the ship's captain, Charles McVay.

Ox Notes: July 30, 2007

Mary Murphy said in the latest TV Guide backstage report from So You Think You Can Dance that she was surprised that Jamie went home instead of Lauren, even though Lauren's Hip-Hop routine with Pasha was her favorite performance on Wednesday night.

At recent auditions for Rob Mariano's new reality show Tontine, it was revealed that, in order to participate in the show, the cast will have to put their own life savings into the $10 million prize pot (the network will make up the rest). Additionally, the show will film for 100 days, making me wonder if a 1-in-15 shot at $10 million is really worth the risk of winding up with nothing.

Today coanchor Matt Lauer would have no problem coughing up his life savings to take part in Tontine -- not with a yearly salary of $12 million, according to TV Guide's list of Which TV Stars Earn What. The most surprising entry on the list was Judge Judy, who earns a reported $30 million per year from her TV show. I had no idea that networks could make so much money from those daytime commercials for personal injury lawyers and motorized wheelchairs.

Finally, more sad news for Pirate Master. The fourth pirate eliminated, Cheryl Kosewicz, was found dead on Friday, apparently having committed suicide. She'd written a variety of blog posts recently about the frustrations of coping with her boyfriend's suicide last month and the show's sinking ratings.

Fans of the show will have to wait until the next episode of Pirate Master is released online tomorrow to see how CBS addresses Cheryl's death, as there is currently nothing posted about it on the show's home page.

Ox Notes: July 27, 2007

Dates for the So You Think You Can Dance tour have been announced. The tour kicks off on September 21 in Albany, NY, and tickets go on sale August 11.

If you're in more immediate need of a dance fix, head to Lehi, Utah on Monday for Dancing with Our Utah Stars -- an event featuring performances by Dancing with the Stars' Louis Van Amstel, Julianne Hough, Andrea Hale, and possibly Apolo Anton Ohno.

Or, if you can't make it to Utah, spend Monday celebrating one of the best weeks of the year -- Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. Yahoo! TV has a preview of this year's new shark shows. I'm most excited for Deadly Stripes: Tiger Sharks, which premieres Monday night.

The Today Show aired J. K. Rowling's first interview since the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in two parts, yesterday and today. You can watch video of the first part here and the second part here, although you won't want to if you haven't finished the book and are still trying to avoid spoilers.

I live in Naperville, Illinois, which hosted one of the largest Potter parties in America last Friday. Sixty stores in downtown Naperville participated, and more than 70,000 people attended the event. The Chicago Sun-Times has footage of the party (keep an eye out for the cool "living portraits," who moved to different frames every 30 minutes).

The event was organized by the world's best independent book store, Anderson's Bookshop, which manages to thrive despite the fact that there's a Barnes & Noble a few blocks away. The night of the book release, they handed out more than 2,000 copies of the book in less than 1 hour (customers pre-paid, of course).

Greg and I were numbers 1427 and 1428 in line, and we got our copies at 12:45 a.m. It was only mildly irritating when the girl in front of us got off her cell phone and announced that her friend had walked into the Jewel grocery store at midnight and picked up one of the 20 copies of the book just sitting on the shelf.

Here are some pics of Greg and me enjoying the Harry Potter related festivities.


I bought some Cockroach Clusters at "Honeydukes" (better known as Naper Nuts & Sweets).


Readers offer some dire predictions about the book.


Me with my new BFFs, Snape and Dumbledore.


Greg and I are two satisfied customers.

SYTYCD 3, Top 10: Results

Without Lacey for a partner, Kameron suddenly didn't look so good -- and the viewers told him so.

The Results Show began with a super creepy group performance to Imogen Heap's "The Moment I Said It." The routine was choreographed by Mia Michaels.

Mia started the program's opening comments by apologizing to the U.S. Marine Corps. There was an upside-down Marine Corps emblem on the jacket she wore at the Performance Show, and she hadn't realized what it was or that it would be offensive.

Then Nigel had to apologize on behalf of Wade for last night's solo routine, because that had apparently offended some people as well. He stressed that being anti-war isn't unpatriotic: "I don't know anybody who's pro-war." He went on about Wade's routine: "To be frank, I was bored by it by the fifth time I saw it."

After that awkward intro, host Cat Deeley trotted out a guest performer, Mika, to kill time. The sound levels during Mika's performance were so bad that his vocals were unintelligible.

Then, it was time to learn the voting results. Jamie and Lauren were told that they were two of the four lowest vote-getters, and they were joined at the bottom by Dominic and Kameron.

Cat turned to the judges for their opinion on the Bottom Four, and Mia said she'd expected Pasha to be at the bottom. Nigel's meager consolation for the dancers: "You're doing the tour now. [As for the prize], it's only a quarter of a million dollars."

Consolation Solos:
Jamie -- Stars, "Your Ex-Lover's Dead"
Dominic -- Jimmy Castor Bunch, "It's Just Begun"
Lauren -- Mercyme, "I Can Only Imagine"
Kameron -- Timbaland, "Oh Timbaland"

The girls deserve points for their outfits -- Lauren dressed like a jungle girl, and Jamie's already copious breasts were adorned with beaded fringe. Kameron's solo was forgettable, but Dominic spent half of his 30-second doing an impressive, continuous spin on his head.

Finally, it was time for elimination, and Jamie and Kameron were sent packing. When Kameron's name was announced, it sounded as if a few of the teen girls in the audience died from shock.

Ox Notes: July 26, 2007

While you wait to find out which dancers will be sent home tonight on So You Think You Can Dance, check out these TV Guide interviews with the two dancers eliminated last week: Anya and Hok.

I'm very excited that the next season of Top Chef will be filmed in Chicago. I'm going to have to start reading the Chicago Tribune's Food Section regularly so that I'll be able to recognize all of the chefs they bring in as guest judges.

My excitement about the Top Chef news is diminished somewhat by the news that Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas has left his position as show runner of the new ABC comedy Miss/Guided.

Here are five of the most highly anticipated TV panels at this weekend's Comic-Con, including a preview of the second season of Heroes and Q&A with the cast.

I'll leave you with a suggestion of what not to watch: Schooled on the CW. The music-themed reality/prank show was filmed at a New Jersey high school, and ends with a performance by the All-American Rejects.

Schooled is an advertisement for OfficeMax aimed at middle schoolers. The show, which ran an initial special on ABC Family last year with guest Jesse McCartney, was created by and is entirely funded by OfficeMax. It's airing on the CW on August 5 -- right when most kids are shopping for their back-to-school supplies.

What's even sadder than the mere existence of this show is that it actually works: the company saw an increase in sales after the first special aired. They're hoping to reach an even bigger audience this time, thanks to the CW.

Despicable.

SYTYCD 3, Top 10: Performances

Mia Michaels joined Nigel Lythgoe and Mary Murphy at the judges table tonight on So You Think You Can Dance. But their roles are merely ceremonial at this point. The fates of the dancers are entirely in the hands of the viewers.

All of the partnerships were new this week, but in addition to the partner dances, each dancer performed a solo -- the same solo, as a matter of fact. Wade Robson choreographed a routine to John Mayer's "Waiting for the World to Change."

Wade decided to use the solo as a statement against war. Each of the dancers sported a different harmony-inspiring noun stenciled on their shirt, and the music stopped halfway through the routine so that the dancers could scream their frustrations. The scream stopped any momentum in the performance, and I absolutely hated it.

This "same solo" thing didn't work for me for two reasons. First, all of the dancers danced the solo exactly the same way; Mia criticized them for not making their performances more personal. And second, they saved the judges' criticism of each routine until the very end of the show, not immediately after each performance. By the time they aired, the critiques had lost any informative value they had for the audience.

Since all of the solos looked basically identical to me, I included one of Nigel's comments for each soloist. The solos are numbered based on the last two digits of each dancer's voting call-in numbers, and the word following the dancer's name is what was written on his or her shirt.

Lauren & Pasha -- Hip-Hop
Choreographer: Shane Sparks
Song: Pitbull, "Fuego"
Shane didn't know if Pasha would be able "to hang," but he did a really good job with Shane's "human transformers" routine -- especially since Pasha's totally un-gangsta. The performance was well-received by the judges. Nigel called Pasha "the best Russian hip-hop dancer I've ever seen." And Mary hollered, "Nigel, I've got a fever tonight. And the only prescription is more Pasha & Lauren!"

01. Jamie -- "Honesty"
"No emotional dynamism."

02. Dominic -- "Love"
"Some of your technique is lacking."

Sabra & Kameron -- Contemporary
Choreographer: Tyce DiOrio
Song: Crystal Lewis, "Amazing Grace"
While these two seem fond of each other, Sabra totally outshone Kameron. For his sake, he'd better hope this is a brief partnership. "I don't see the magic between the two of you," said Mary, who went on to call Sabra "pure perfection." Mia told Kameron, "I feel like you've been exposed tonight," and called his technique "immature."

03. Sara -- "Hope"
"You need to make your dancing bigger than you are."

04. Pasha -- "Communication"
"You're out of your league."

Lacey & Danny -- Samba
Choreographers: Dmitry Chaplin
Song: Club Des Belugas, "Hip Hip Chin Chin"
I love this song! Totally hot performance. Nigel reminded Lacey, "Use Danny as a partner." Mary said Danny's performance "wasn't my favorite tonight" because of his technique. Lacey, on the other hand, was "fabulous." Mia called the performance "the sexiest dance this season."

05. Lauren -- "Patience"
"You showed me how well the music works."

06. Neil -- "Humility"
"Every time you bring your arms forward, it looks ugly."

07. Sabra -- "Unity"
"You are small, but you dance so large."

08. Kameron -- "Trust"
"You brought emotion out."

Jamie & Dominic -- Viennese Waltz
Choreographer: Toni Redpath
Song: Linda Eder, "Man of La Mancha"
Dominic was excited about the chance to "manhandle" Jamie in this Spanish-influenced waltz. Nigel thought the song was more appropriate for a Paso Doble instead of a Viennese Waltz, and he thought Dominic overacted it: "It didn't work for me at all on any level." Mia warned Jamie to stop opening her mouth so much.

09. Lacey -- "Peace"
"Darling, you have everything."

10. Danny -- "Understanding"
"You were like honey dripping out of a bottle. You were so smooth."

Sara & Neil -- Disco
Choreographer: Doriana Sanchez
Song: Rachel Stevens, "Knock on Wood"
Great lifts and tricks, plus some super corny outfits. Totally fun. "I love disco," cooed Nigel. "It was terrific. You entertained everybody here." Mia said, "You guys are, like, the biggest dorks -- in the best possible way."

My favorite dances were Sara & Neil's Disco and Lacey & Danny's Samba, and I think I'll throw my vote to Sara tonight.

Tomorrow night, the boy and girl with the lowest number of votes will be sent home, without any intervention from the judges. Based on tonight's performances (not that that'll be what drives the final voting), Jamie and Dominic should be in the most danger.

Ox Notes: July 25, 2007

Spoilers for tonight's episode of So You Think You Can Dance are available here. In addition to one dance per couple (and everyone has new partners), each individual dancer will perform the same solo, choreographed by Wade Robson.

The Amazing Race 12's season has been shortened by two episodes -- producers have dropped the non-elimination legs to create more excitement. While the change will give each leg a greater sense of urgency, Colin & Christie's "My ox is broken!" melt down occurred on a non-elimination leg in Season 5, and that episode is still my favorite from any season.

If you haven't heard about the controversy surrounding The Next Food Network Star, here's a good synopsis of what happened.

Thanks to David Beckham, Americans are watching soccer. Nearly 1.5 million tuned in for his debut as a member of the Los Angeles Galaxy. A word of advice when watching future broadcasts: hit the mute button when they interview Beckham. His high-pitched voice distracts from his good looks.

And for serious TV fans, the place to be this weekend is...Comic-Con? The San Diego comic book convention has become the place to get the early buzz on new fall shows, especially animated shows or those in the sci-fi genre. One show from last fall that played particularly well at 2006's Comic-Con? Heroes.

Pirate Master: Episode 9

Pirate Master lives on online, and it's a shame that it went off the air just as soon as it got good.

Until this point, a mutiny had to be approved by the captain's two officers -- highly unlikely since the most of the captains gave their officers an extra cut of the gold.

Starting tonight, however, the role of officer was eliminated. That meant that the captain had to make all decisions regarding treasure and Black Spots on his or her own, without the protection of two officers if those decisions were unpopular.

As fate would have it, Captain Azmyth's team lost the challenge, and he lost his captaincy. The winning team of Christa, Jay, Ben, and Kendra elected Christa the new captain.

Christa decided to split the $50,000 evenly with her team, but she let Jay talk her into an evil plan. When handing out the gold, Christa only gave Kendra $2500, with the promise that she'd bid $10,000 for the Royal Pardon, which was in Kendra's possession.

If Christa stuck with Jay's plan to the letter, she wouldn't actually bid on the pardon but would keep the $10,000 for herself and hope that Kendra would be voted off.

Unfortunately, Christa put too tempting a target alongside Kendra at Pirates Court -- Azmyth. The vote for his elimination was unanimous, so Christa was lucky she ignored Jay and bought the pardon from Kendra for the full $10,000.

It's a shame that Mark Burnett and the other producers of Pirate Master didn't realize earlier that they had to make mutiny a realistic option for the crew. Instead, Joe Don and Azmyth held on to the captain's position for too long, making the experience boring for the cast and the audience.

Another change that might have helped the show would've been to change the format of the treasure hunts. Instead of a group of people loping along through the jungle, the hunts could've been a modified relay -- the group starts together but sheds people at each check point (4-3-2-1) and the individual to find the treasure becomes captain.

That kind of format would force the randomly selected teams to think strategically. For example, Azmyth may be the fastest person on his team, but his teammates might not want him to be captain. Do you risk the treasure just to avoid having a captain you don't like?

Next week, Jay and Ben cook up exactly that kind of strategy in order to keep Christa in power.

Ox Notes: July 24, 2007

Looks like I'll have to make other entertainment arrangements this evening: CBS has canceled Pirate Master. CBS will post a new episode of the show on their website every Tuesday, and what would have been tonight's episode is already available.

Drew Carey has been named the new host of The Price Is Right, and I think CBS made the right choice (no offense, Ian Ziering).

No details yet, but apparently Activision is creating a video game version of Dancing with the Stars. I'm sure I'll buy it regardless, but unless the game is very active like Dance Dance Revolution, I'm not sure that a DwtS video game makes much sense.

Turner Broadcasting is launching a network in the U.K. aimed at young men. They are calling it NutsTV. Groan.

Premiere has a list of TV shows that should be made into movies. While I agree that a Veronica Mars film would be great, a film version of Lost would never work -- unless the film was about 12 hours long.

Ox Notes: July 23, 2007

Reality TV World figured out how many Emmy nominations went to reality shows, and Dancing with the Stars leads all other reality shows with eight nominations.

In other happy DwtS news, Laila Ali married Curtis Conway over the weekend.

In case you've been suffering from Bruno Tonioli withdrawal, he gave an interview about his new show, Dance X.

And it looks as if the scandals surrounding Chris Benoit's murder-suicide and renewed concerns about steroids in pro wrestling have taken their tolls on WWE viewership. Two shows Benoit regularly appeared on -- WWE Raw and Extreme Championship Wrestling -- have each lost at least 9% of their total audience in recent weeks, with declines of up to 28% in their key demographic of men aged 18-34.

Ox Notes: July 20, 2007

Good news for fans of Hok and Anya, who got the boot from So You Think You Can Dance last night. In TV Guide's backstage report, Mary Murphy revealed they've been invited to serve as alternates on the SYTYCD tour. And it should come as no surprise that Murphy, a former ballroom pro herself, was the dissenting vote among the judges last night; she would've preferred to eliminate Lauren.

Variety has an article about some unexpected Emmy nominations, including one for the quickly canceled series Drive, and another for a song called "Everything Comes Down to Poo."

So just how does Mario Lopez show his girlfriend, Karina Smirnoff, a good time? He takes her to the racetrack.

If you don't have plans for Saturday, head to the Orange County Fliers baseball game for the post-game entertainment: Heroes's Hayden Panettiere will be singing covers with a band made up of fellow Heroes star Greg Grunberg, House's Hugh Laurie, Desperate Housewives's James Denton, The Bachelor's Bob Guiney, and Kitchen Confidential's Bonnie Summerville.

Or, if you've got a little free time over the next few weeks, Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin have extended their Broadway run in Chicago through August 5.

My plans for the weekend are a little less sophisticated than either of those options. I'm planning on a trip to Dunkin' Donuts tomorrow morning, inspired by their latest ad campaign. I mean, everybody knows that the funniest member of the band Kiss isn't Gene Simmons -- it's Ace Frehley!

SYTYCD 3, Top 12: Results

With only ten spots available on the So You Think You Can Dance tour, tonight's eliminations were sad, but not surprising.

Tonight's program started with a cute Jean-Marc Genereux-choreographed routine to "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy," with the dancers decked out in Navy uniforms.

Then it was time to find out which couples would be dancing for their lives. The Bottom Three couples were Anya & Danny, Jamie & Hok, and Lauren & Neil.

The announcement of the Bottom Three couples was followed by a special tap performance by Jason Samuel Smith. The performance was very cool, and at times he looked like his upper body was being supported by wires to allow his feet to fly more easily.

Solos:
Anya -- Ike & Tina Turner, "Proud Mary"
Danny -- Brian McKnight, "Never Felt This Way"
Jamie -- Mindy Smith, "One Moment More"
Hok -- Jamiroquai, "Black Devil Car"
Lauren -- Christina Aguilera, "Walk Away"
Neil -- Maroon 5, "Harder to Breathe"

While the judges deliberated, Enrique Iglesias performed "Somebody's Me."

The judges weren't unanimous in their decision as to which girl should go, but they all felt that Jamie deserved to remain despite an unimpressive solo. They felt that, until tonight, Lauren hadn't reached her potential. But her performance tonight impressed two of the judges enough that they asked Lauren to remain, meaning that Anya had to go.

Regarding which boy to eliminate, the judges were unanimous. Nigel said that the judges felt Hok hadn't grown as much as the other break dancers in the competition, Dominic and Sara, and the show's eventual winner needed to have a diverse array of talents. Neil and Danny lived to dance another day, and Hok was cut adrift.

Ox Notes: July 19, 2007

Nominees for the 59th Primetime Emmy Awards were announced today. Here's the full list of nominees. Choreography nods went to an NBC Tony Bennett special, Mia Michaels for "Calling You" from SYTYCD 2, Wade Robson for "Ramalama (Bang Bang)" from SYTYCD 2, and Louis Van Amstel for his Jive with Monique Coleman from DwtS 3.

Also announced today was CBS's fall schedule, which kicks off with new reality show Kid Nation, in which 40 kids try to build an adult-free society in a ghost town. I'm excited to see the show if only because I would've loved to be on it when I was ten.

When Dancing with the Stars returns in the fall, it will be DelGrosso-less again. Ashly DelGrosso, who is due to give birth to her baby any day, said this in her email newsletter:
"Like last season I will be cheering all my friends on but will not be participating because of my newborn. I intend to be back for season 6 though in February and am looking forward to it."

In between seasons 5 and 6, ABC will keep Bruno Tonioli and Carrie Ann Inaba employed by pitting them against one another as coach-choreographers on the show Dance X. Each week, Tonioli and Inaba will pick a team from a cast of dancers and teach their team a new routine, and then fans vote for their favorite. Let's see how Carrie Ann and Bruno like being judged for a change.

SYTYCD 3, Top 12: Performances

With one last chance to secure a spot in So You Think You Can Dance's Top 10, one of the most popular couples had their first off night.

Nigel Lythgoe and Mary Murphy were joined at the judges table by Wade Robson. After this week, couples will be chosen at random for each performance. And dancers who make the Top 10 will go on the SYTYCD tour following the season.

Sabra & Dominic -- Jive
Choreographer: Tony Meredith
Song: Ryan Shaw, "I Do The Jerk"
This was the perfect song to match this couple's manic energy levels. With her short, spangly dress and tremendous speed, Sabra looked like she was channeling Tina Turner. And Dominic executed a great lift without injuring Sabra in the process (after dropping her a few times over the past several weeks). Wade loved their "positive energy," and Mary gave Tony credit for choreographing to the couple's strengths.

Jamie & Hok -- Broadway
Choreographer: Tyce DiOrio
Song: "Mr. Bojangles" from Fosse
This was not a great piece for so late in the competition. Hok was supposed to be an old man and Jamie his muse, and the result was a slow, uninspiring routine. Wade said they didn't connect with their characters. Mary said, "It didn't work for me either." But all of the judges were impressed with Jamie's execution.

Sara & Pasha -- Jazz
Choreographer: Mandy Moore
Song: Queen, "Body Language"
"Retro" doesn't even cut it. The music, the moves, the clothes -- this performance screamed 1982. It was fantastic. Wade said, "I really like that number. Mandy, I think that was sick." Mary and Nigel seemed to find the performance more amusing than mind-blowing.

Lauren & Neil -- Contemporary
Choreographer: Mia Michaels
Song: Citizen Cope, "Let the Drummer Kick"
With their skinny ties, dark sunglasses, and neon-colored gloves, Lauren and Neil performed an abstract routine was as quirky as Sara & Pasha's '80s dance, only it wasn't as fun. Well executed, but not memorable. Wade said that Neil has "come alive." Mary said it was "not great, but really good." Nigel said, "Because I didn't understand it, I'm not sure that I really enjoyed it."

Anya & Danny -- Fox Trot
Choreographer: Jean-Marc Genereux
Song: "It Had To Be You"
Classy, beautiful, and fun -- ballroom at its best. Wade told Danny, "You really surprised me tonight." Mary shouted, "It's no surprise to me! I've loved these guys from the beginning!" Nigel said, "Dancing with the Stars is going to have to start calling itself Dancing with the Celebrities, because the stars are right here!"

Lacey & Kameron -- Hip Hop
Choreographer: Dan Karaty
Song: Fergie, "Here I Come"
The routine was entertaining, but it seemed to drag. Wade said Kameron danced "a bit heavy," and he warned Lacey that her performances tend to be "professional and not personal." Mary agreed with Wade's comments about Kameron, but said that Lacey is "still on point." Nigel felt that Kameron missed his chance to be something other than Lacey's prop. (All of the brace-faced, teen girls in the audience loudly disagreed).

My favorite performances of the night were by Sabra & Dominic, Sara & Pasha, and Anya & Danny, with top honors going to Sabra & Dominic. Because it was such a kitschy piece, I won't be shocked if Sara & Pasha slip to the bottom -- but I don't think the judges will let either of them go.

The two girls in the most danger tomorrow night are probably Jamie and Lauren. And, of the boys, Hok and Kameron need to be especially careful.

Ox Notes: July 18, 2007

Ahead of tonight's episode of So You Think You Can Dance, here are links to spoilers from Monday's taping and interviews with the dancers eliminated last week, Shauna and Cedric. And, yes, even Cedric agrees that he should've been kicked off weeks ago.

Masi Oka offered some spoilers of his own about Heroes Season 2.

All you fans of daytime talk shows can relax -- The Jerry Springer Show and The Maury Povich Show will be on the air through 2010.

In other old-guys-on-TV news, now that Sam Waterston's Jack McCoy character has been promoted to District Attorney on Law & Order, the new assistant D.A. will be played by the guy who played Bruce Wayne's dad in Batman Begins.

And finally, if you heard a small squeal of delight at approximately 10:50 a.m. Central Time, that was me reading the news about a new pilot in development at CBS called Kingdom. Here's a description of the show from the Variety article:

"Kingdom" is set in the era of knights and castles. The male-centric pilot revolves around four average young men, one of whom discovers he's heir to the throne. Skein will explore how the new power changes the lives of the four friends, particularly the new King Lucas -- who'd rather drink and womanize than fulfill his new duties.

Eeee! I can't wait!

Pirate Master: Episode 8

The dead came back to life and the planets seemed aligned for mutiny, but in the end, things stayed pretty much the same on Pirate Master.

As a twist, the seven previously eliminated pirates were brought back to compete against the remaining nine pirates for this week's treasure -- and more importantly, the chance to overthrow Azmyth and put him up for elimination.

Despite being outnumbered by two crew members, strong competitors like Joe Don, Cheryl, Sean, and scientist/exotic dancer John gave the "Ghost Crew" a fighting chance against Captain Azmyth's Black Crew.

Things looked good for the Ghosts when, after the crews rowed down river and found keys to the treasure chest, Azmyth led his team in the wrong direction yet again. In fact, the Ghost Crew made it to the location of the final clue before someone realized that John had lost their key.

The Ghosts had to return to the river and don diving masks in an effort to retrieve the key from the murky depths, giving the Black Crew enough time to figure out how to use a compass and make their way to the treasure.

Joe Don was especially bummed that he wouldn't be able to eliminate Azmyth: "I don't like to point the finger, but when somebody loses the key, it's just like, 'Agh.'"

The ghosts left, and the pirates counted their gold. Host Cameron Daddo told Azmyth that he could elect two new officers, and for about a second the crew entertained hope for a regime change. But Azmyth stuck with Ben and Jay.

Azmyth kept $25000 of the $50000 treasure for himself, Jay and Ben received $6250 each, and the remaining crew members were each given $2000. For her services as cook, Azmyth gave Jupiter a $500 bonus.

The unequal distribution of funds provoked talk of mutiny among the crew. When Laurel broached the subject with Jupiter, Jupiter said she'd never agree to mutiny against Azmyth.

But, in an effort to nudge Azmyth toward improving the conditions of the crew, Jupiter told Azmyth about the mutinous talk. At dinner. In front of everybody. The results? Azmyth assumed that Jupiter had turned on him, and the crew decided that Jupiter was a moron.

When it came time to hand out Black Spots, Kendra got one for being slow and Laurel got one for being grouchy (although Azmyth's fear that she might reveal that some of his dreadlocks are fake may have played a part). With Jay's prompting, Azmyth assigned the final Spot to Jupiter.

While waiting for Pirates Court, Louie got Jay's agreement to mutiny but couldn't get a definite answer from Ben. If the three voting crew members voted for mutiny, but couldn't get the consent of the two officers, then Azmyth would decide which crew member to eliminate.

At Pirates Court, Laurel called out Azmyth for being a tyrant and Jupiter promised that she'd never mutiny against Azmyth. That seemed to be enough to convince Nessa, Louie, and Christa to forgo mutiny for the time being and eliminate Jupiter, easing the way for a future mutiny.

Next week, it doesn't take long for Azmyth to realize that giving Jupiter a Black Spot was incredibly stupid.

Ox Notes: July 17, 2007

It's official: Mandy Patinkin has left Criminal Minds -- due to "creative differences," of course.

Donald Trump won't let The Apprentice die. He's bringing it back for a celebrity edition, although Rosie O'Donnell says she definitely won't be participating.

Joey McIntyre reports in his latest Dancing with the Stars tour blog entry that his dream came true when the cast was partying at a club after a recent show: Edyta Sliwinska asked him to dance. And Cheryl Burke proved that she's a regular gal when she told The Buffalo News that what she misses most about home when she's on tour is doing her own laundry.

When reading about NBC's fall premiere schedule at Zap2It, I noticed a handy feature at the site: a photo gallery of TV premiere and return dates that covers the entire year. It's organized by date, and you can flip through the pages one at a time or choose a date from a drop-down menu to see the shows that are debuting or returning on any network or cable channel that day.

So if you're already trying to come up with an excuse for why you can't attend your grandma's birthday party on September 28, just tell her, "Sorry, Grams. That's the night Las Vegas returns."

Ox Notes: July 16, 2007

TV Guide has a behind-the-scenes report from the set of So You Think You Can Dance chronicling some particularly painful injuries sustained at Wednesday night's results show. Men -- read about Danny's unfortunate safety pin mishap at your own risk.

The Sci Fi Channel has ordered a series of 2-3 minute Battlestar Galactica mini-sodes that will air on the channel in October, as well as ten Farscape webisodes.

E! scooped up the rights to a seemingly inevitable reality show about rapper Snoop Dogg. The show promises to devote plenty of time to the Snoop's duties as commissioner of his own youth football league.

And Bravo will debut Tim Gunn's Guide to Style on September 6. The modest goal of the show's host? "I want every woman to achieve her style zenith." If anyone can do it, Tim Gunn can.

Ox Notes: July 13, 2007

There may be a major shake up in the works for Criminal Minds after Mandy Patinkin failed to show up for a read-through of the new season's early scripts -- he's been written out of the season premiere.

Perhaps Patinkin can try out for Lifetime's new reality show, America's Psychic Challenge. Yes, it's a game show for amateur psychics.

Ian Ziering wishes he was psychic -- he's apparently really, really hoping to become the new host of The Price Is Right, but CBS hasn't named Bob Barker's replacement yet.

Finally, there's news about a few of the imported comedies on HBO. Ricky Gervais is planning to wrap up the series Extras with an hour-long special. And the creators of the BBC comedy Little Britain are working on a new six-episode series for HBO.

If you are like me and don't have HBO, and can't wait for Flight of the Conchords to come out on DVD, each new episode of the show is available for a limited time at the show's website. The site also features video clips from all of the episodes, including a performance by Jermaine and Bret a their rap alter egos, Hip-Hopopotamus and Rhymenocerous:

SYTYCD 3, Top 14: Results

One couple's journey was brought to an end on So You Think You Can Dance.

The show began with a group dance to "You Can't Stop the Beat," from the new version of Hairspray, choreographed by guest judge Adam Shankman. In footage of the rehearsal, Adam's manic energy, constant swearing, and goofy directions -- "hungry jazz face" -- amused the dancers.

First, two couples were brought out to learn the results of the audience vote: Sabra & Dominic and Anya & Danny. Anya & Danny were in the Bottom Three, and Nigel said it was because "they're not communicating with the audience."

The next couples were Lacey & Kameron, Sara & Pasha, and Shauna & Cedric. Shauna & Cedric were told they were in the Bottom Three, to which Mary said, "You're both very special and unique" -- a brush-off compliment if I've ever heard one.

Finally, Jamie & Hok and Lauren & Neil took the stage, and Jamie & Hok rounded out the Bottom Three.

Solos:
Anya -- Mighty Dub Katz, "Magic Carpet Ride"
Danny -- Mario Spinetti, "Delirious"
Shauna -- The Cranberries, "Zombie"
Cedric -- Kelis, "Circus"
Jamie -- Nelly Furtado, "Childhood Dreams"
Hok -- "Ease on Down the Road" from The Wiz

Anya's cheetah-print catsuit was the best costume of the night, and shirtless Danny had the least costume of the night. Shauna and Jamie danced similar contemporary solos, but Shauna's was better. And Cedric only wishes he could dance as well as Hok.

While the judges deliberated, Hillary Duff performed her song "Stranger" in a harem-girl outfit.

After Duff returned to her sultan's tent, the girls' verdict was delivered. Nigel said the decision was unanimous, and not based solely on this night's performance.

Jamie was told she was safe straight away. And while Nigel said Anya's solo was weak, he said her body of work warranted another chance. Shauna was let go because, according to Nigel, she hasn't grown as much as the other girls, and her personality isn't as strong.

Nigel didn't prolong the boys' elimination at all; he immediately told Cedric the competition was over for him.

Because Shauna and Cedric had been partnered together, the eliminations left all of the remaining couples intact for one last week of pairs competition.

Ox Notes: July 12, 2007

Two of my favorite shows -- Smallville and Supernatural -- will be adding a little girl power when they return in the fall.

Fox has finally found a home for the last two episodes of Drive: MySpace.

Another show that's back from the dead is National Bingo Night. Apparently enough people played the game at ABC's website to make up for the fact that nobody watched the television show. It'll be back for a limited run in December.

MSN features a list of the ten best actors on TV. Unfortunately, I can't tell if the list is any good since I don't watch most of the shows these actors star in. It's nice to see Jack Coleman acknowledged for his work as HRG on Heroes, but how about a little love for John Glover on Smallville?

SYTYCD 3, Top 14: Performances

Several stellar performances could make for a surprising Bottom Three on this week of So You Think You Can Dance.

Adam Shankman, choreographer of the remake of Hairspray, was this week's guest judge. He said that while they were filming Hairspray, the cast would gather at his place to watch SYTYCD and they'd order Chinese or Italian -- "food, not people."

Lacey & Kameron -- Hustle
Song: Inner Life, "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" Choreographer: Maria Torres
The dance was full of spins and tricks, but more impressive was the fact that all Lacey wore on top was a dinner napkin. Adam said that they did a great job with some really difficult hand changes, and Nigel told Lacey that her technique is "far superior" to her brother, Benji's.

Shauna & Cedric -- Mambo
Song: Tito Puente, "Flauta Y Timbal" Choreographer: Alex de Silva
Alex de Silva said that, when he heard he'd be working with Cedric, he brought two extra assistants in to help with practice. Cedric's lack of technique was obvious in the performance. Mary gave Shauna a ticket for the Hot Tamale Train, while Nigel said he was "very, very proud" of Cedric.

Anya & Danny -- Contemporary
Song: One Republic, "Apologize" Choreographer: Tyce DiOrio
They had great chemistry, and it was wonderful to see Anya do something so different from ballroom. Adam said Danny was one of "the most beautiful male dancers" he's ever seen. And Mary said Anya was "ridiculous," in a good way.

Sarah & Pasha -- West Coast Swing
Song: Fatboy Slim,"The Rockafeller Skank" Choreographer: Benji Schwimmer
This was the quirkiest Swing routine I've ever seen, and it was fantastic. And these two new partners looked so happy and natural together. Nigel yelled, "That's magic!" And Mary just yelled.

Sabra & Dominic -- Hip-Hop
Song: Ne-Yo, "Make It Work" Choreographer: Shane Sparks
Before they danced, Dominic revealed his crush on Cat Deeley: "7-feet tall, white teeth, and French accent -- what could be better than that?" Their performance was totally sexy, and their playful partnership made it work.

Adam started his comments by asking Cat, "How's it going, Frenchie?" All of the judges were enthusiastic in their praise.

Jamie & Hok -- Waltz
Song: Sarah MacLachlan, "Angel" Choreographer: Toni Redpath
A nice performance, though not especially Waltzy. Adam told Jamie that, because of her gorgeous lines, "Your husband is going to have a fantastic dance with you at your wedding." But he didn't feel that the dance suited Hok, and Mary agreed with him.

Lauren & Neil -- Jazz
Song: Roisin Murphy, "Night of the Dancing Flame" Choreographer: Wade Robson
In spite of the annoying song, this comic book routine was super cool and slinky. Adam said it was "off the charts." Nigel appreciated the "meat on the skeleton of the movement," whatever that means.

There were only two obvious candidates for the Bottom Three: Shauna & Cedric and Jamie & Hok. Anya & Danny may fall through the cracks and join them.

Of the other four performances, I'm not sure that I could pick a favorite. If I was going to vote, I'd vote for Pasha just because he builds his own computers from component parts. There's nothing hotter than a guy who actually knows what to do with all those little switches and cables from Radio Shack.

Ox Notes: July 11, 2007

Any fans of the show Drive can forget about seeing the final two episodes on Fox this Friday. But show producers Tim Minear and Craig Silverstein explain in this interview what would've happened had the show continued.

If you can't wait for tonight's episode of So You Think You Can Dance, Idol Forums has spoilers. MSN also featured a piece about the show's judges, in which writer Craig Berman says of Mary Murphy: "Providers of headache medicine and closed-captioning are the big winners now that she’s a permanent member of the staff."

Joey McIntyre has updated his Dancing with the Stars tour blog, and he talks about the crew's trip to a casino. It's worth following the link to see the picture of Joey -- why is he dressing like he's still in New Kids on the Block?

Pirate Master: Episode 7

Joe Don's departure will probably make Pirate Master a lot less competitive.

In case choosing two strong guys for his officers wasn't enough to ensure victory, Captain Azmyth kept the crew's food to a minimum and forced his two strongest competitors into hard labor. Louie had to climb the rigging and secure the sails, while Joe Don dove into the water to remove barnacles from the ship's hull.

The members of this week's Red Crew -- Joe Don, Louie, Nessa, Christa, and Kendra -- were plenty tired when it came time for the treasure hunt. But it didn't seem to matter, as a misreading of a clue left the Black Crew -- Azmyth, Ben, Jay, Laurel, and Jupiter -- trailing behind the Red Crew.

But, as in many previous challenges, skill and strength weren't required to win. Both teams had to spin dials and randomly try different combinations of the numbers 9, 4, and 2 to open a lock. The Black Crew unlocked theirs first, and Azmyth retained his captaincy.

Hoping to avoid receiving a second consecutive Black Spot, Kendra approached the puppet master, Jay. She said she'd vote whatever way he told her to if he convinced Azmyth to spare her this week.

Jay presented this proposal to Azmyth and Ben, and they agreed to give Black Spots to Joe Don, Louie, and Nessa. Nessa would likely buy the pardon from Joe Don, and Louie was popular enough that he would probably survive a vote. So long as the crew didn't vote to keep Joe Don around for his strength in the challenges -- a move that would be in their own best interests -- the captain's plan would work.

And, of course, the crew voted out of sentimentality, and not in the interest of self-preservation or accumulation of wealth. An indecipherable speech from Joe Don didn't help his cause. Nessa bought the pardon for $5000, and the votes were split between Louie and Joe Don, 3-to-1.

Surprisingly, the only vote for Louie came from Kendra -- after she'd promised Jay to vote for Joe Don. Kendra gambled that the normally rational Laurel and Christa would want to keep Joe Don, even at the expense of their shipboard father figure, Louie.

But the gals didn't want to disappoint Daddy, so Kendra had better bid high for the pardon next week. Jay is sure to make her pay for her insubordination.

A scruffy Joe Don gave Nessa a prolonged kiss before boarding his tiny raft and being cut adrift -- only to appear in the next shot on his raft clean-shaven and wearing different clothes. Next thing they'll tell me is that all those skeletons on the island are fake!

Next week, talk of a mutiny heats up, and Jay thinks about abandoning his cash cow, er, captain.

Ox Notes: July 10, 2007

Joey Fatone gave an interview to TV Guide about hosting The Singing Bee, which premieres tonight on NBC at 9:30 ET. Today's Washington Post featured an hilarious negative review of the show in which reviewer Tom Shales says about Fatone: "to call him mechanical would be to insult millions of reliable, hard-working machines throughout the world."

Fox announced premiere dates for its fall season. New episodes of most shows will start airing the week of September 17.

And two notes of warning: The Apprentice may be back, and Shannen Doherty is filming a Christmas movie for ABC Family.

Ox Notes: July 9, 2007

Variety has an article about network shows making their final runs this summer, as well as a piece about good new dramas on cable that might get overlooked.

A physical therapist who's worked on some of the stars of the Dancing with the Stars tour says the rigors of dancing give them the same kinds of injuries as factory workers.

Finally, Variety also features a review of coverage of the Live Earth concerts this weekend. I watched on and off throughout the day on Saturday, mostly on the Internet and Bravo. What struck me was how different the concert footage was from region to region.

During all of the New York concert performances I saw, cameras spent just as much time focusing on bouncing female audience members as they did on the musicians -- even during the final performance of the night by The Police. The band is touring for the first time in 20 years, so why would I be more interested in watching some blonde girl talk on her cell phone?

In contrast, the cameras at the Sydney concert stayed firmly on the stage for headliners Crowded House, except when singer Neil Finn asked the crowd to sing along. The show producers were as reverential of the band as the audience was -- and that was after a mere 11 years since Crowded House's last performance in Sydney.

Videos of all of the Live Earth performances are available here.

Ox Notes: July 6, 2007

Joey McIntyre's latest Dancing with the Stars tour blog entry is up at People. He and the other Joeys (and Drew) have reworked the show a bit to include more singing.

Kevin Sorbo spoke with TV Guide about his new cowboy drama Avenging Angel, which debuts on the Hallmark Channel Saturday night at 9 ET.

As Barry Bonds gets closer to becoming Major League Baseball's career home run champion, ESPN and Fox are scrambling to negotiate a deal so that they can air the historic homer live.

This weekend's big event is the series of Live Earth concerts being held across the globe. The timing of the concerts makes live international television broadcasts a challenge. All of the concerts are being held locally on July 7, but here are their US start times (all times ET):

Friday, July 6
Sydney -- 9:10 pm
Tokyo -- 11 pm
Saturday, July 7
Shanghai -- 7 am
Hamburg -- 8 am
London -- 8:30 am
Johannesburg -- 12 pm
New York -- 2:30 pm
Rio de Janeiro -- 3 pm

MSN has the lineup of artists performing at each event. Here are the best places to watch Live Earth from the US, on the web and on TV:
MSN.com -- live streaming coverage of all concerts beginning tonight at 9 pm ET
Sundance Channel -- 22 hours of (mostly) live coverage beginning Saturday at 4 am ET
Bravo -- 17.5 hours of coverage beginning Saturday at 9 am ET
CNBC -- 7 hours of highlights beginning Saturday at 7 pm ET
NBC -- 3 hours of highlights beginning Saturday at 8 pm ET

I just hope I can wake up early enough to see Spinal Tap play Live Earth London.

Pirate Master: Episode 6

This week, the pirate ship got a little more Joy-less.

Captain Azmyth put his strategy for winning Pirate Master into play last week, making the two strongest guys he could find -- Ben and Jay -- his officers. This week, that strategy paid off in the race for treasure.

In order to divide the genders as fairly as possible between the two teams, Joe Don and Louie were forced onto the Red Crew. They'll continue to oppose Azmyth, Jay, and Ben of the Black Crew for the duration of team play -- or at least as long as they remain on the ship.

Christa, Laurel, and Joy joined the captain's Black Crew, while Nessa, Jupiter, and Kendra rounded out the Red Crew.

Joy and Kendra were the slowest members of their respective crews, but Kendra was cut some slack because she never stopped and she didn't complain. Joy, however, stopped frequently to ask for water -- prompting Jay to ask her what she'd rather have, water or thousands of dollars in treasure.

Joy's pokiness on the trail didn't ultimately hurt her team, as Louie managed to sink the Red Crew by failing to notice that he was pretty much standing on his team's treasure chest key.

When the crews returned to the ship, Azmyth kept Jay and Ben as his officers. The trio's power went to their heads, and Azmyth -- who, to this point, had been splitting the treasure evenly among the members of his crew -- decided that he and his officers should start keeping a larger portion of the loot for themselves.

The trio also targeted Joe Don with the Black Spot, in the hopes of eliminating their strongest rival. Just in case that plan didn't work, they nominated the two slowest players -- Kendra and Joy. No matter how the vote turned out, the trio hoped to increase their chances of winning challenges and staying in power.

With his future as a pirate in jeopardy, Joe Don made his move on Nessa: "I said, 'Hey, man, what do you think about a little kiss? Just a little peck?'" Somehow, those lame pickup lines worked, and they made out on the deck.

Joe Don's best hope for saving himself was to bid on the Royal Pardon. Not only would it keep him from being eliminated, but -- since he had to buy the pardon from Nessa -- it would also allow him to buy a little affection from his new girlfriend.

His $12,000 bid for the pardon proved more than sufficient; the next highest bid was for $700. Joe Don didn't end up needing the pardon, but by buying it for such a large amount, he ensured that Nessa will have no trouble affording it should she find herself in trouble next week.

The votes were split between Joy and Kendra 3-2, with Joy on the losing end. She was cut adrift, despite the fact that everyone on the crew seemed to like her. They just couldn't risk her winding up on their team.

Next week, Joe Don and Nessa move beyond mere pecking.

Ox Notes: July 5, 2007

Rumor has it that So You Think You Can Dance duo Lacey & Kameron aren't faking their on-stage chemistry -- the dance partners are dating (play the video on the linked page).

The ubiquitous Jerry Springer will guest star on Days of Our Lives on July 27.

And the second quarter reports for cable TV networks are in -- Variety has the stats for some of the top networks. Traditional leader TNT suffered from their over-reliance on reruns of Law & Order and other police procedurals. Apparently, airing daily reruns of Without a Trace at the same time other cable networks rerun episodes of CSI, CSI: Miami, Law & Order: SVU, and Law & Order: Criminal Intent wasn't such a good idea after all.

Ox Notes: July 3, 2007

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is in hot water again, over an episode that hasn't even aired yet. Reality Blurred posted a pair of articles about the episode that will open the show's fall season, in which a new house is built for a Hawaiian couple with a combined yearly salary of $225,000.

Additionally, the house was built on land worth $2.7 million, $2 million of which came from state grants. Some of the land was used to build a community center for use by the non-profit organization the family owns. But this family sounds pretty profit oriented to me.

If you'd planned on watching the final two episodes of the short-lived series Drive on Wednesday night, think again. Fox has rescheduled the episodes to air on Friday, July 13, replacing them with the Adam Sandler movie Anger Management.

Finally, The Washington Post has suggestions for which shows to watch if you want to seem young and hip (Dancing with the Stars is out since the median age of viewers is 54).

Ox Notes: July 2, 2007

I entertained the notion of watching the Big Brother 8 season premiere on Thursday night at 8 ET, but the latest news about the season put that idea to rest. Big Brother is forcing some of the house guests to live with their sworn enemies, including 20-year-old Danielle and her father, Dick.

Danielle's not on speaking terms with Dick because -- among various reasons, I'm sure -- he "called her a bitch" during a phone call and then wrote about it on his MySpace page. Making things worse is that cast members are kept secret from one another until premiere night, so Danielle's going to be blindsided by this unwanted reunion with her dad.

I'm all for tormenting people with their consent (sleep deprivation on The Amazing Race, for example), but springing something like this on someone who's barely out of high school is tacky and mean.

In other news, Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi is divorcing Salman Rushdie now that she's famous enough to find a rich husband who does not look like Salman Rushdie.

Ballroom dancers in the Ottawa, Ontario area can try out for the Dancing with the Stars Local Dance Challenge on Friday, July 6. The top couples will compete in front of the audience at the DwtS Tour show in Ottawa on July 10.

And DwtS producer Conrad Green offers some showbiz advice for David & Victoria Beckham upon their move to Los Angeles. The article is an interesting look at Hollywood from a British perspective.