Survivor: Cook Islands -- Episode 12

Ever since she mutinied from the Aitu tribe, Candice had been on the receiving end of as much wrath as the members of Aitu could dish out. They finally decided to put her out of her misery on this week's Survivor: Cook Islands.

The episode began with the castaways returning to camp from the previous episode's Tribal Council. After they arrived, the furious members of the former Raro tribe lashed out at Jonathan for casting the deciding vote against Nate.

In an interview, Parvati said, "All I wanted to do was take Jonathan's face and throw up all over it." To Jonathan, she said, "You've pissed everyone in this game off, so I hope you're happy with second place."

Jonathan responded that he'd had no choice but to side with Yul's group and vote for Nate, because Yul had the immunity idol. When Jonathan told her that he'd seen Yul with the idol, Parvati wasn't buying it. "I don't believe a word that comes out of your mouth."

This week's Reward Challenge was the Survivor auction. This season's auction differed slightly from previous renditions. Each contestant was given $500 to bid on prizes, and they were free to lend money to other contestants. However, this season, food items could not be shared among bidders.

The first item up for bid was a covered mystery item, which Jonathan won for $100. It turned out to be a hot dog, fries, and a beer. Jonathan relished the meal, as the other castaways looked on and licked their chops.

But Jonathan still had $400 burning a hole in his pocket, and he wasn't about to the leave the challenge with any money remaining. Jonathan placed a bid on nearly every item offered, sometimes driving the price up out of spite as much as any real desire to win the item in question.

When Parvati wanted a bubble bath and a piece of chocolate cake, Jonathan forced her to bid more than twice as much as she would have paid otherwise. After that, Jonathan bid against Ozzy for unlimited access to a soft serve ice cream machine for the duration of the auction (Ozzy won by spending all of his $500). Then, Jonathan outbid Yul to win another mystery item, which turned out to be a pepperoni pizza.

Not wanting to miss out on an opportunity, Sundra paid $140 for the next mystery item up for bid. She was the lucky winner of... a sea cucumber in a jar.

Next, Jeff Probst held up a note which he said would give someone power in the game. Desperate for any kind of edge, Candice bid all of her money. Not wanting to give Candice that edge, Becky convinced Yul to lend her some money, so she could go over $500. Candice then borrowed some from Adam. In the end, Becky won the note, for the price of $640.

After taking the note, Becky read it aloud. She had to choose one survivor to leave the auction immediately (pausing only to hand his or her money to Becky) and head to Exile Island.

Becky sent a very hungry Candice off for a fourth trip to Exile Island. Parvati pouted and splashed sadly in the tub.

Once Candice had departed, Jeff brought out another item for bid: a tray with a toothbrush, some toothpaste, toothpicks, and mouthwash. Adam, Yul, Becky, and Sundra were holding out for more food, so they let Jonathan have the tray for $100.

As Jonathan gargled away, Yul muttered, "If that's the end of the auction, I'm gonna jump off a bridge." Of course, Jeff then brought the auction to a close.

Back at camp, Jonathan strutted about, belching the stinky pepperoni burps of victory into the faces of friends and foes alike. As soon as he went out to fish, alliances temporarily broke down and everyone complained about how obnoxious Jonathan had been at the auction.

The Immunity Challenge the next day forced competitors to recall some of the important events from their time on the island. For the first round of the challenge, each contestant stood at a table with ten small, numbered boxes, which were knotted shut with rope.

The castaways were asked four questions with numerical answers (e.g., How many days had it been since Candice and Jonathan mutinied from Aitu?). Adding, subtracting and dividing the numbers produced a result that corresponded with one of the boxes.

The correct box contained a key to a lock attached to a flag. The first three survivors to unlock their locks and raise their flags moved on to the next round.

Adam, Parvati, and Jonathan all made it to round two. Using new questions, the survivors opened another box which held the key to the entrance of a "timber tunnel" -- the official name for those jungle gym-looking structures that survivors are always crawling through in challenges.

Once through the timber tunnel, contestants crossed a floating platform and raised another flag to win. Adam quickly calculated the correct numbers for round two, earning him immunity.

Back at camp, the three remaining members of Raro made their move. They made Yul an offer: get rid of Jonathan first, and then you can pick us off one at a time. Even though they knew they had little hope of making it to the end, Adam, Parvati, and Candice just wanted to outlast Jonathan.

Yul said that simply being annoyed with Jonathan's behavior the other day wasn't enough motivation for him to stray from his original game plan. He said that Jonathan was a "selfish, rational player," which made it easy for Yul to predict and control his actions.

Adam warned Yul that they considered him the "ringleader" of the Aitu tribe, and not voting off Jonathan now could have repercussions with the jury, should Yul make it to the Final Two.

As the members of Raro went to the shelter to sleep off a hard day of talking, Jonathan and the members of Aitu were cooking the fish he'd caught. Jonathan wondered aloud if there was any ethical problem with not feeding people who hadn't worked to earn their meal.

Ozzy quickly cut him off and said, "There's no ethical dilemma." The others agreed. Ozzy, Jonathan, Sundra, Becky, and Yul packed up their dinner and walked down to the beach -- not inviting Candice, Parvati, and Adam.

After a while, the sleeping Raros woke up and noticed that things were awfully quiet around the campfire. Candice went down to the beach to investigate, where she couldn't resist confronting the diners.

"Since when do you guys not share food?" asked Candice. She then went on a tirade against Jonathan, accusing him of fishing just to curry favor with the member of Aitu and "weasel" his way into their alliance.

When Jonathan objected to her name-calling, she clarified, "'Weasel' is a verb in this situation!" She defended the Raro tribe's laziness by saying, "Everyone has their days when they lay around in the tent."

Everyone else essentially laughed at that seemingly sincere statement, and Candice was forced to return to the shelter, fishless.

At Tribal Council that night, Candice made a point of bringing up the incident, supposedly to give the jury a clearer idea of what the situation was like at camp.

Parvati seized on the chance to criticize Jonathan, saying, "I'm half his age and I'm twice as mature as he is."

Jonathan restrained a laugh and accused Parvati and her buddies of sitting around all day, "waiting for the dinner bell."

When Yul tried to jump in and calm the conversation, Jeff interjected, "I expect that from you. You're the U.N."

Parvati informed Jeff and the jury that Yul was the "puppetmaster" behind the Aitu tribe.

Yul came as close to angry as we've ever seen him. He told Parvati, "We're all here trying to win. You can't fault me for that."

When it came time to vote, the members of Aitu stuck to their original plan, and Candice was voted out.

On her way to collect her torch, Adam stood up and laid an uncomfortably long French kiss on Candice. Parvati laughed uncontrollably, and Nate pimped his shirt, a la Pimp My Ride's Xzibit.

As he snuffed Candice's torch, Jeff said, "A kiss is nice. Maybe if it was love, he'd have given you the Immunity Necklace."

Next time, Parvati's fingers try to befriend Mr. Machete, with disastrous results. And power goes to Yul's head as he starts to feel like "the Godfather, arranging a hit on somebody."

DwtS Offseason Update: 11-29-06

Dancing with the Stars 3 may be over, but there's been plenty of news and rumors swirling about the DwtS Tour and Season 4.

Tour News
The tour lineup has changed once again. Maksim Chmerkovskiy decided over the weekend to pull out of the tour, in order to spend more time working with his students. Fans who purchased VIP tickets from I Love All Access and no longer wish to attend can contact the company for a refund.

Joey McIntyre will be using the DwtS tour appearances to promote his new album, which will be available at each performance. He'll be singing a couple of numbers, as well as dancing with his partner, Kym Johnson.

Season 4 Rumors
One season barely ends, and rumors about possible participants for the next begin. Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson has been lobbying producers for a spot in the Season 4 cast.

Producers have extended an offer to Jennifer Aniston to be a contestant, and she's reportedly considering the offer. She would certainly be the biggest celebrity ever to compete on the show. And if DwtS wants to turn the season into a mini-Friends reunion, they can get David Schwimmer, too. Unless there's some secret plan to make a sequel to The Pallbearer, that guy's not doing anything.

When DwtS 4 starts up in March, it will likely change nights to avoid going up against American Idol on Tuesdays.

Gossip
After spending Thanksgiving together, Mario Lopez & Karina Smirnoff left on Sunday for a Mexican vacation -- even though they still won't publicly admit that they're dating. Hopefully, they've at least admitted it to each other.

Other News
For some additional reading, check out this interview with the DwtS costume designers. Thanks to their quick thinking, they were able to avert a Janet Jackson-like moment for Willa Ford on her final night of competition.

Also, an arts critic at Slate offers some interesting opinions on the quality of the dancing on DwtS.

The Amazing Race 10: Episode 11

After Yielding another team this week, Dustin & Kandice dodged karmic retribution. Though they arrived at the Pit Stop in last place, it was a non-elimination leg, meaning the Beauty Queens still have a shot at winning The Amazing Race.

The episode began with teams leaving Kiev, Ukraine for Ouarzazate, Morocco. All the teams wound up on the same connecting flight from Casablanca, which arrived in Ouarzazate at about midnight.

Lyn & Karlyn had wisely chosen to pick up a map of Morocco during one of their layovers. That helped them become the first team to reach the site of this leg's first clue: an antique store in the Kasbah market district.

At the store, they picked up an amulet that would be used at the Pit Stop to determine which team won the special prize for this leg. They also received a clue, directing them to the nearby Atlas Studios.

The clue also warned teams that a Yield (which allows a team to force a trailing team to wait for a predetermined amount of time) lay ahead.

The 'Lyns looked forward to Yielding the Beauty Queens. But the studios were closed until 8 a.m., so they lost their lead and weren't able to take advantage of getting there first.

Once the studio gates opened the next morning, a footrace ensued. The first two teams to reach the Yield mat -- Tyler & James and Rob & Kimberly -- elected not to Yield anyone.

The Beauty Queens were the third team to the mat and Yielded the only team behind them: Lyn & Karlyn. Dustin didn't consider the move a personal attack on the Alabama Moms. She said, "If we didn't, we wouldn't be playing our best game."

But Karlyn definitely took the Yield personally. Despite her own plans to use the Yield against the two blondes, Karlyn thought that Dustin & Candice using the Yield to their own advantage showed that "they have no character." Karlyn added, "That's for them to live with."

The first three teams opened their next clue: a Roadblock honoring some of the movies filmed at the studio, such as Cleopatra and Gladiator. One member of each team had to ride in a chariot around a race track, grabbing two flags suspended over the track.

James, Dustin, and Rob hung on as their chariot drivers sped the horses around the track. James missed his flag on the first go 'round, forcing him to ride an extra lap. Dustin and Rob finished their task in just two laps.

As Dustin & Kandice walked off the course, Karlyn flipped them off. Lyn told Karlyn, "Don't do that. That's ugly."

By the time James had completed his bonus lap and grabbed his flag, Karlyn was getting into her chariot. Lyn had confidence in her teammate: "The fact that we were Yielded probably pissed her off, so she'll do it."

Karlyn executed the task faster than the three lead teams had, so she and Lyn were able to make up ground on the way to their next clue, which was at a cafe in the town of Idelssan.

Rob & Kimberly had to stop to change a flat tire on their car, and they wound up passed by all the other teams, including the Alabama Moms. Lyn had no sympathy for Rob & Kimberly. She muttered, "You should've Yielded the Blondes," as she and Karlyn drove by.

The clue at the cafe was for a Detour: "Throw It or Grind It."

In Throw It, teams had to use a pottery wheel at a nearby potter's shop to create two "properly made" pots. The shop was located four miles further up the road.

In Grind It, teams backtracked four miles to the North Africa Horse ranch and olive farm. There, they used an olive mill, (like a giant mortar and pestle, only with a millstone instead of a pestle), to grind 75 pounds of olives into a fine paste.

At each of the Detours, only three teams could participate at a time. That meant that, if all the teams chose the same Detour, the fourth place team would have to wait for one of the others to finish.

Dustin & Kandice picked Grind It and headed straight to the olive farm. Models Tyler & James chose Throw It and asked some cafe patrons for directions to the pottery shop.

Just before leaving, the Models reread their clue. They'd misinterpreted the instructions for Throw It. Tyler said to James, "We have to make the pots, dude. It's not actually throwing them." They switched tasks and chased the Blondes to the olive farm.

On the way, both teams saw Rob & Kimberly still struggling with their flat tire. Dustin & Kandice sped on by, prompting Rob to shout, "I f***ing hate those girls."

Tyler & James stopped to give Rob & Kimberly information on the Detour, so Rob's anger had abated by the time Lyn & Karlyn passed by without offering any assistance.

When Rob & Kimberly reached the cafe, they elected to follow all of the other teams to Grind It. This wasn't the best strategic move, since Rob & Kimberly had already seen all three of their competitors heading to the olive farm.

They would almost certainly have to wait for one of the other teams to finish the task before they could start -- unless one of those other teams got lost.

Luckily for Rob & Kimberly, that's just what happened.

The Beauty Queens drove past the farm, and by the time they realized what they'd done and made their way back, all three stations were already in use by the other teams.

The Male Models finished grinding the olives first and began bagging the fine olive paste. Lyn & Karlyn weren't far behind, so Dustin & Kandice waited to see which station would open up first.

Tyler & James finished the task and received a clue instructing them to drive to this leg's Pit Stop. Along the road to Marrakesh, teams needed to look for a marked boulder, which pointed the way to a Berber camp, where teams would spend the night.

(For some viewers, the game lost any suspense at this point. As Phil Keoghan talked about the Berber camp, he stood in front of the large tent. There were eight cots inside -- enough to accommodate all of the teams still racing.)

Lyn & Karlyn finished the Detour next, followed by Rob & Kimberly. Driving to the Pit Stop, Karlyn gloated over the Beauty Queens' navigation error: "Karma's a B!"

As Dustin & Kandice finished the task and hit the road, Kandice took a different view than Karlyn. "There's no bad karma in a game," said Kandice. "You do what you do to win."

Tyler & James reached the Pit Stop in first place, and they also held the winning antique amulet from earlier in the leg. It entitled them to a new Palm Treo PDA and a year of Sprint service. Trading amulets for wireless service has been a tradition in Berber culture for generations.

The Alabama Moms finished in second, followed by perpetual third place finishers (six times in a row!) Rob & Kimberly.

Dustin & Kandice weren't far behind, but they finished in last place. Phil informed them that this was a non-elimination leg -- so they need to finish first on the next leg in order to avoid a 30-minute penalty.

Those 30 minutes will be even more precious next week, when the competition will be whittled down to the final three teams who will compete for $1 million.

Also next week, Lyn loses her patience for Karlyn and tells her to shut up. And when locals pelt Rob & Kimberly with tomatoes, Kimberly flees.

Survivor: Cook Islands -- Episode 11

Jonathan finally figured out what most of us already knew: his Raro tribemates are stupid. Fortunately, a merge gave him the perfect opportunity to save himself and sacrifice one of the dummies. As a result, Nate became the next jury member on Survivor: Cook Islands.

From minute one of this episode, the Raro tribe gave Jonathan plenty of clues that they weren't the ideal candidates with whom to be stuck on an island. First, Nate, Parvati, Adam, and Candice slept in while Jonathan went fishing.

Then, when Jonathan returned from his hunt, hours later, he came back to a camp with no fire, firewood, or water. His tribemates became resentful when he asked them to fetch water and make a fire.

Nate pouted, "We're not knuckleheads. We know what to do." Meanwhile, Candice failed repeatedly in her firestarting attempts.

There was no Reward challenge this episode, but there was a reward: a feast to celebrate a merging of the tribes.

Because Raro went into the merge with 5-4 advantage in members, the former members of that tribe -- save Jonathan -- were feeling overconfident. At the feast, the "Raro kids," as Jonathan called them, insisted on getting "faded." They drank too much beer and spent a good part of the celebration throwing up.

After he was done puking, Adam started hitting on Parvati, despite his already being on kissing terms with Candice. He told Parvati that both women could share him, a statement that struck Adam as immensely funny at the time. If he and Candice were at home watching this week's show together, I doubt she was laughing.

Jonathan thought the Raros were stupid for getting wasted, when an Immunity Challenge could come at anytime.

At the camp of the newly formed Aitutonga tribe (formerly Raro's camp), Jonathan enjoyed an intelligent conversation. He discussed strategy with Yul, namely the possibility of Jonathan re-aligning with his old Aitu tribemates: Yul, Becky, Sundra, and Ozzy.

Though the topic of the hidden immunity idol came up, Yul didn't cop to having it. Nearly every sentence in the discussion began with the word "hypothetically." ("Hypothetically, if I had the idol...", "Hypothetically, if you did...", "Hypothetically, if you switched after I told you I did...", etc.).

In the end, Jonathan wouldn't commit to anything, since he didn't want to commit to turning on the Raros unless he was pretty sure Yul had the idol.

The season's first individual Immunity Challenge favored the lighter and more dexterous tribe members. Contestants had to hang onto a 15-foot tall pole, using bands of rope spaced at intervals for footholds. Once a survivor slid down to the ground, that contestant was out.

Jonathan complained to host Jeff that being relatively heavy and having large feet put him at a disadvantage when standing on the thin bands of rope.

Yul, who agreed with Jonathan, explained the physics of the challenge to everyone. He lectured them about surface area relative to mass, saying, "It's why elephants can't run up trees." He ended his nerdy soliloquy with the sentence, "I'm never gonna get a date again."

Big boys Adam and Jonathan dropped within 15 minutes, and before the first hour was over, there was only one man left in the challenge (Ozzy) and several women. After 90 minutes, it was down to Candice and Ozzy.

A downpour forced Candice to shift for a better position, and like everyone before her, that was the beginning of the end. She moved down to the next rope band, and when she couldn't get a stable foothold, she was forced to move even lower.

Candice's feet hit the ground, and Ozzy won immunity from that evening's vote.

Back at camp, Yul told Jonathan that he was in possession of the secret Immunity Idol from Exile Island. To prove it, he showed the idol to Jonathan. That confirmed for Jonathan the precarious position he was in.

At Tribal Council, the Raro tribe would certainly vote for Yul, (the biggest threat from the the Aitus) and he would produce the Immunity Idol. That would mean the elimination of the person with the second-highest number of votes. If Jonathan failed to align with the members of Aitu, Yul promised they would all vote for him.

Jonathan told Yul he would think things over. He then contemplated having to betray everyone on his new tribe, after just recently betraying everyone on his old tribe when he switched teams a few weeks back. In an interview, he said, "Either way, I'm a complete bastard."

Jonathan then went to feel out the mood among his old Raro tribemates, by asking them to consider the possibility that Yul had the secret Immunity Idol.

Nate, Parvati, Adam, and Candice were adamant that there was no way that Yul could have the idol, since he'd only spent one night on Exile Island. After all, Adam, Candice, and Jonathan had all spent time on the island, and none of them had been able to find it.

That foolish reasoning (They didn't realize that the reason they couldn't find the idol was because Yul already had it!) confirmed for Jonathan that he was aligned with a bunch of nitwits.

So, Jonathan decided to backstab the Raros, only weeks after backstabbing the Aitus by deserting them. At Tribal Council that night, he joined his old Aitu tribemates and voted Nate out of the competition and into the jury.

Jonathan's flip was a smart move, it was the right move, and -- for viewers -- it was the most interesting and satisfying move. But it could put Jonathan in a real tough spot with the jury, should he make it to the final two. As he's all too aware, he's now turned on everyone at least once.

After the vote, Candice, Parvati, and Adam gaped in amazement, and Jonathan avoided their gaze by staring upward.

Nate knew exactly who had switched allegiances. In his closing comments, he said, "Jonathan, you can kiss my ass!"

Next week, the former members of Raro are enraged by Jonathan's betrayal. But vengeance is his, as he and his industrious Aitu allies refuse to share the food they gather.

The Amazing Race 10: Episode 10

The Chos learned a valuable lesson on this week's episode of The Amazing Race. If you frequently stop to ask for directions, you will reach your destination. However, you'll also finish in last place and be eliminated.

Beginning right where last week's episode ended, Tyler & James were the first team to finish the frightening face-first rappel down the tower at Olympic Park in Helsinki, Finland. They opened their next clue, in which they found cash and learned that they were only halfway through this double-length leg of the race.

The clue instructed them to fly to the capital city of the country in which the Chernobyl nuclear disaster took place. As they drove to the airport, Tyler fumed that the other teams would most likely catch up to them there and level the playing field.

But before that could happen, the other teams still had to complete their descents down the tower. Dustin & Kandice did so with relative ease. Heading to the airport, the team discussed what they remembered about Chernobyl. Dustin said, "I know it's where the atomic bomb went off."

Rob & Kim were the third team to reach the ground and receive their clue. As he drove to the airport, Rob exclaimed, "We're going to Russia!"

Erwin learned the hard way why the racers wore helmets on the rappelling task. He lost his footing and swung around, hitting hit head on the tower. He wasn't able to get back in the proper position, and so he spent a good deal of his descent scraping his helmet along the wall.

At the airport, Tyler & James learned from the ticketing agents that Chernobyl was in Ukraine, and that the capital was Kiev. Unfortunately for them, the first flight there was at 8:45 the following morning, which left plenty of time for the other teams to book their flights.

Tyler & James and Dustin & Kandice booked the 8:45 flight, which connected in Vienna and was scheduled to arrive in Kiev at 1:35 p.m.

All of the other teams got on another flight that connected in Warsaw and was also scheduled to arrive in Kiev at 1:35. Because of a delay, the Warsaw-Kiev flight landed approximately 30 minutes after the first flight, giving Tyler & James and Dustin & Kandice a bit of a buffer.

When the teams arrived, they jumped in their cars: old Russian sedans of indeterminate make and model that reminded Kandice of her first car, a '64 Falcon. A clue inside the car contained directions written in Ukranian. Dustin read the Cyrillic lettering as, "Ta hocka bocka wocka."

The clue directed them to a tank training academy run by the Ukrainian army. Most of the teams hired cab drivers to read the directions and guide them there. Erwin & Godwin did not.

Instead, they stopped, repeatedly, to ask for directions. This was bad news for Lyn & Karlyn, who were following the Chos. They grumbled about the Cho strategy until, finally, the Chos gave in and hired a cabbie as well.

At the tank school, a Roadblock awaited the contestants. Representing their teams, James and Dustin hopped in a pair of Soviet era T-64 tanks and drove though a mile-long obstacle course. Dustin skillfully navigated the course, passing James along the way.

James, on the other hand, struggled to keep his tank moving. And when it was, it crashed into Dustin's. She plowed through a huge mud puddle smoothly, but when James hit the same puddle, a wave of muddy water splashed into his tank, drenching him.

The next clue directed teams back to Kiev, where they need to find an apartment building and pick up a clue from the tenant in apartment 33.

As both teams drove back, they passed Rob & Kimberly heading to the Roadblock. Tyler & James stopped to point Rob & Kimberly to the training center. Seeing this gesture of friendship, and aware of the Chos alliance with the 'Lyns, Dustin said, "We don't have any friends."

At the school, Rob wished he'd chosen to drive the tank, which did look like a lot of fun. But, instead, Kimberly raced around the course, finishing well before the last two teams arrived.

Driving back to Kiev, their car overheated. Rob & Kimberly had to wait for a new car to be delivered, though they were still able to keep their lead over the Chos and 'Lyns.

Godwin and Lyn did the tank driving for their teams. Godwin finished first between the two, because, as Lyn put it, she drove "like a blue-haired lady on a Sunday drive."

Keeping true to their alliance -- and despite being in a race to avoid last place -- the Chos decided to wait for Lyn to finish, so the teams could return to Kiev together.

In Kiev, the Beauty Queens and Male Models got their next clue from a kerchief-clad babushka in apartment 33. It was a Detour: "Make the Music or Find the Music."

In Make the Music, teams had to create a rap song about the countries they'd visited on the race. They then had to perform the song at a dance club. Their judge was Kiev's top rap star -- a guy that looked like a Nascar driver who'd mugged Kevin Federline for his clothes.

In Find the Music, teams went to the National Music Academy and searched thousands of pages sheet music, looking for Tchaikovsky's "Concert Fantasy." Then, they had to search over 100 practice rooms for one of six pianists who could perform the piece for them and hand them the next clue.

Dustin & Kandice picked Make the Music and went to the club, where they put on their own rap gear, which was as cheesy and gaudy as you'd probably assume. Dustin said, "I wish I knew how to pretend I was a rapper... like stick your hands in your pants."

During their performance, the Beauty Queens rapped about one of the tasks in Kuwait: "By the time it was over, we looked like hags." The Ukrainian rap star approved of their rhymes, and he handed them a clue sending them to the Pit Stop, which was in the shadow of a sword-weilding statue at Kiev's Great Patriotic War Museum.

Over at the conservatory, Tyler & James had put on tuxedos to search the stacks of sheet music. Finding the piece was easy, but searching the practice rooms was not. They interrupted a number of violinists and singers before finding a pianist who was waiting to play for them.

The models listened until she finished playing the entire piece, then changed back into their less-formal racing attire. They arrived at the Pit Stop first, earning the Models a trip to Puerto Vallarta. Dustin & Kandice weren't far behind.

Rob & Kimberly decided to take on the rap challenge. Kimberly wrote lyrics while Rob drove to the club. Rob asked, "Are you gonna make it funny?"

Kim replied, "I don't know. Whatever. I'm just gonna rhyme."

Erwin & Godwin were still driving to the apartment building, stopping to ask for directions whenever they had even the slightest doubt about where they were going, which was often.

Lyn & Karlyn knew they could make better time on their own, so they and they drove away from the guys at one of their frequent stops.

Godwin cursed when he realized they'd been ditched. Erwin just said, "We're disappointed. Our alliance with team Alabama is over."

After both teams got their clues from the apartment, Lyn & Karlyn went to rap, and the Chos headed to the conservatory.

Meanwhile, Rob & Kimberly finished up their lackadaisical rap and reached the Pit Stop in third place.

Lyn & Karlyn were much more enthusiastic, stretching out their rap with the occasional "Yeah, boy!" Lyn was flowin' with lyrics like, "We had to travel far and foreign talk," and "Madagascar, ahhhhhhhhh!"

They got their clue and hired a cab to lead them to the Pit Stop. On the way, Karlyn said of her former allies, "Hopefully, the Cho brothers are lost."

Erwin & Godwin had an easy enough time at the conservatory, but they decided not to hire a cab to guide them to the Pit Stop. Consequently, they drove onto a street that was closed for pedestrian use only, and they were stopped by the police.

In scary Soviet-era fashion, the officer told the Chos to get out of their car. He then demanded, "Show all documents."

By the time the Chos reached the Pit Stop, the sky was dark and all of the other teams were long gone. When Phil told the brothers they'd been eliminated, he asked about their "nice guy" strategy. Godwin sobbed, "We wanted to run the race the way we were raised."

Next week, James has a rough time trying to drive a chariot. And Lyn & Karlyn get excited about a chance to Yield the Beauty Queens.

Survivor: Cook Islands -- Episode 10

The Raro tribe set Rebecca up to fail in this week's Survivor Immunity Challenge. And when she did, they voted her out. But Rebecca didn't leave alone. In a surprise twist, Raro had to vote out a second member, and Jenny was the unlucky victim.

The episode began at Raro, where Jonathan regretted switching from Aitu last episode. Because he was no longer aligned with anyone, he called himself "a wandering Jew without a tribe."

When the teams fetched their Reward Challenge treemail, they received a board displaying nautical flags and their corresponding letters. Aitu, correctly guessing that they would need to memorize the code, studied the board rigorously.

At the Reward Challenge, two large compass roses had been placed on the beach. Each tribe sent a pair of teammates to dig up a chest near a specified direction on the rose (e.g., North-Northeast). On each chest was written another direction, where a second pair from each tribe would find another chest. And so on.

Once a team had dug up four chests, they opened them to find a total of seven nautical flags inside. The first team to correctly spell the word "victory" with their flags won the reward: a feast with a local tribe.

Because Aitu only had four members (Yul, Sundra, Ozzy, and Becky) and Raro seven, Raro had to sit out three people.

For some reason, Raro chose to sit out Nate, Parvati, and Rebecca for the Reward Challenge. This meant that all three of those members would, by Survivor rules, have to participate in the vastly more important (if a bit less filling) Immunity challenge.

Though Nate and Parvati had performed well in previous challenges, Rebecca had yet to distinguish herself in a single one. Plus, this challenge involved no swimming, Rebecca's biggest weakness. So saving her for the Immunity Challenge seemed, well, really stupid.

Pairs were evenly matched during the first round of the challenge, when Jonathan and Jenny dug up their first chest just seconds after Yul and Sundra uncovered theirs.

But then things fell apart. Adam and Candice couldn't decide which point of the compass represented East-Southeast. Nate and Parvati watched from the sidelines in disbelief. Raro fell behind and never recovered. Aitu solved their puzzle before Raro even unearthed all their chests.

When Jeff Probst asked Aitu which member of Raro they'd be sending to Exile Island, Yul counted, "One, two, three..." and the whole team said, "Candice." Aitu clearly had neither forgotten nor forgiven her defection from their tribe several days earlier.

On Exile Island, Candice cried and ate sea cucumbers. She sobbed, "It's not fun to know that people that you like want to see you suffer."

Aitu flew in a private plane to their feast, which was held on a nearby island. They were greeted in dramatic fashion by a tribal chief, who yelled a friendly greeting in a voice that sounded more like a threat. Tribesmen then carried the stunned members of Aitu on litters and sang to them with some pretty impressive harmonies.

The food looked great, but it was the entertainment that proved the most compelling part of the visit. Some of the hunkier tribesmen danced with Becky and Sundra, and two cute young women kissed Ozzy on the cheek.

Yul, who was trying to keep a low profile, was targeted by two of the biggest women in the tribe. They gave him a sort of island lap dance before picking him up and sandwiching him between them. Everyone laughed, as the usually serious Yul danced with his new friends. But the minute he was let loose from his whirling, fleshy prison, Yul collapsed to the ground and tried to bury his head in the sand.

Meanwhile, at Raro, Jonathan caught fish in an attempt to prove his worth to his new tribe. Though he'd been a schemer on Aitu, he was now stuck in a much more submissive role.

As Jonathan fished, his tribemates discussed voting strategy. Jenny felt Rebecca wasn't contributing enough in challenges. Adam worried that Jenny was (correctly) suspicious of his relationship with Candice. And everyone considered getting rid of Jonathan -- which had been the original plan when he joined their tribe.

Before the Immunity Challenge, the teams received another study guide: a map naming the islands of the Pacific. Because Rebecca was having some trouble memorizing the island names, Parvati trained her with some clever mnemonics.

For the challenge, tribe members swam one at a time to a group of four floating pontoons. After unhooking a bundle from under one of the pontoons, the tribe member swam back to shore.

Once the last bundle reached shore, teams untied them to find ten wooden slats with the names of island groupings written on them. The tribe that first placed the slats next to their corresponding locations on a map won immunity.

Ozzy and Nate started by swimming to the farthest pontoon for their respective tribes. The race was close until the last pontoon, when it came down to Sundra and Rebecca.

Sundra was back to shore before Rebecca could even untie her bundle. Raro had barely unwrapped their bundles before Aitu solved the puzzle.

Jeff Probst had a special item for the losing tribe: a sealed bottle with a note inside. Raro was to bring the bottle with them to Tribal Council. It wouldn't be opened until after the vote.

At camp, Raro speculated that the note inside contained details on a merge. And they agreed that Rebecca needed to go home.

At Tribal Council, Raro did vote Rebecca out. And then it was time to open the mystery bottle.

Jeff asked Parvati to unseal the bottle and read the note inside. It had nothing to do with a merge. Instead, it instructed the tribe to vote out a second tribe member.

Nate mourned Raro's loss at the challenge, knowing that a win would've reduced Aitu to two members. He grumbled, "Coulda, shoulda, woulda. Spilled milk!"

The tribe voted again, without any further discussion, and the results were two votes for Jonathan, and four votes for Jenny. She was unpleasantly surprised, and in her anger, she flipped her tribe the bird as she walked away.

In her closing comments, Jenny said, "I am completely pissed off. I feel completely burned." Poor Rebecca got no closing comments at all.

Nate, who'd cast the other vote for Jonathan, looked surprised as well. Suddenly, he was the only non-white member of his tribe.

Next time, Jonathan gets fed up with doing all of the work around Raro's camp, Yul tells Ozzy about his Immunity Idol, and Adam and Candice suck face.

DwtS 3 Finals: Results Show

Even after his retirement from football, Emmitt Smith is still earning trophies. And Cheryl Burke's record on the show remains unblemished. Emmitt & Cheryl won the final audience vote and, as a result, were handed the Dancing with the Stars 3 mirrorball.

After a recap of last night's performances, Tom Bergeron announced that both couples would be dancing an encore this week. From their three performances, the judges asked Emmitt & Cheryl to reprise their Samba, and Mario & Karina danced their Freestyle.

Then it was time for a final update from Slim-Fast Challenge contestant, Tysonia. After her months of dancing, she says she lost 15 pounds and got a promotion at work. Since the show spent so much time covering Tysonia's journey, I was surprised that she wasn't asked to perform at tonight's live show.

Next up was a recap of the show's early eliminations -- and a medley of dances by those eliminated stars. Tucker & Elena performed their Cha Cha Cha, Shanna & Jesse danced their Mambo, Harry & Ashly their Tango, and Vivica & Nick their Paso Doble. Near the end of the routine, you could see the show's emcee at the bottom of the screen, encouraging the audience to cheer.

After a commercial break, the rest of the ousted couples performed. Willa & Max danced their Rumba, Sara & Tony did their cowboy Jive, Jerry & Kym donned their ridiculous outfits for the Samba, Monique leaped off of the stage into Louis's arms for their Jive, and Joey & Edyta performed their Fox Trot. As the couples took their bows, Max blew a kiss to the camera.

The highlight of those performances was Monique. Even in tonight's brief routine, she had tremendous speed and accuracy. By re-dancing a routine she'd originally performed in the third week, Monique showed just how much she'd improved over the course of the show.

The dance medleys were followed by a package of interviews with the family and friends of the remaining dancers. Former NFL quarterback Rodney Peete said, "My highlight is to really see what outfit [Emmitt's] going to wear. It's certainly not an outfit he would wear on a regular night out."

Emmitt replied, "A man in pink looks strong. That's a man that's confident!"

Ryan Seacrest had thoughts about the clothes in which Mario's danced. "It's made me a little uncomfortable to see some of the outfits he's been wearing on the show."

Eva Longoria was also concerned. "I said, 'Mario, do not let them put you in these tight pants and tight shirts.' Then he started getting all these votes, and I said, 'Mario, keep wearing the tight pants and the tight shirts. It's working!'"

George Lopez had his own reason for wanting Mario to win. "The trophy, it's kind of like this disco ball. We're Latinos. It would look brilliant in our living rooms." George added, "Mario, I think, finally, you got people to forget Saved by the Bell." Never, George. We will never forget.

After the clips, Tom walked over to the audience and asked each of the eliminated celebrities to name a favorite memory from the show.

Tucker: "The chair. I loved the chair."

Shanna: "Besides dancing to Kris Kross, Jerry smacking the guitar on the stage."

Harry: "Dancing with Ashly every night, and looking out and seeing my wife Lisa cheering me on even when I was less than perfect."

Vivica: "Making some new friends and dancing with Nick." Tom asked Vivica if they stay in touch, and she answered dryly, "No."

Willa: "The week of the Waltz when my grandmother came to watch me."

Sara: "Making a lifelong friend in Tony."

Jerry (sporting his Evil Puffy Shirt): "When they said I could keep the shirt." After the laughter from the professional dancers in the row behind him died down, he said, "Katie being there, that was the best."

Monique: "Definitely having my mom in the audience, but also the day that I found out that Jerry Springer was my dad." Kym raised her eyebrows in shock, while Tony and Max roared with laughter. Jerry kept a straight face and just shook his head.

Joey: "Just having my wife, my mom here, and my whole family get so involved in this whole thing. It's just been a really great ride for all of us."

As Joey spoke, you could still hear Tony and Max cackling at Monique's comment.

Because of her dancing tonight, and the joke about Jerry being her dad, I am suddenly awaiting the next Monique Coleman project. She just earned herself a new fan.

In a nice package of clips, Emmitt & Cheryl talked about what their time together had meant to each of them. "We've just become such good friends," said Cheryl. "Like brother and sister."

Emmitt clarified, "I'm the big brother." Turning to Cheryl, he said, "Thank you for pushing me, even when I did not want to be pushed. I love you, and I thank you, once again, for being a friend." Cheryl teared up at Emmitt's heartfelt comments.

Mario & Karina's clips package followed. About their weeks of training, Karina said, "There was days when you want to kill the other half -- slowly and painfully." But she said of Mario, "I think of him as my castle, my wall of protection. He's unbelievable."

And of Karina, Mario said, "She's my stand up comedian. She's my friend. She's my little dictator."

Finally, with only a couple minutes of showtime remaining, Tom announced the winners: Emmitt & Cheryl. Emmitt took the glamorous mirrorball trophy and held it over his head. Though clearly disappointed, Mario & Karina just smiled and shrugged to their friends in the audience.

The show's tight schedule allowed precious little time for interviews with the winners and runners up. Emmitt addressed Mario and said, "To you, my friend, I appreciate you very much. You've been a true gentleman."

When Samantha asked a teary-eyed Karina to say a few words about Mario, she said, "He is my true champion."

A trickle of glitter fell from the sky, and the season's celebs and pros, led by Vivica & Nick, ran out to congratulate the champs. As the final credits rolled, the band played "We Are the Champions," and Jerry Springer danced with one of Emmitt's daughters.

DwtS 3 Finals: Performance Show

After tonight's Performance Finale, Emmitt and Mario are in a dead heat. It's up to the fans to decide who will win Dancing with the Stars 3.

Tonight's show brought all of the stars to the ballroom, including DwtS alums Joey McIntyre, George Hamilton, Stacy Keibler, Lisa Rinna, and Harry Hamlin. Friends of the celebrity finalists, like Tiffani Thiessen and Marcus Allen, were also in attendance. Someone even let Jose Canseco into the ballroom.

But, in honor of the special occasion, the families of the dancers got the best seats in the house. Emmitt's wife and kids, Mario's parents, and Cheryl's mom, Sherri, all had front row seats to the final competitive performances of the season.

The show started with clips of Emmitt's and Mario's performances, week by week. The highlight of the reel was a montage of the many times that "good friends" Mario & Karina have been caught kissing on camera.

Round One - "The Duke" by Stevie Wonder
In a DwtS first, both couples danced to the same song: Stevie Wonder's "The Duke." Judge Len Goodman noted that Quickstep, Mambo, Samba, and Cha Cha Cha would all work to the song. Both couples elected to do the Samba. In a way, this was too bad. By ignoring the Quickstep option, there were no Ballroom routines included in tonight's competition, only Latin and Freestyle.

Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke - Samba
The outfits for this routine were priceless. Cheryl's dress looked like it was covered in peacock feathers, and Emmitt's sleeveless shirt and shoes were in a matching peacock green. It was a solid, if not standout, routine that started slow and improved as it went on. Lisa Rinna -- who usurped my old seat this week -- danced wildly in her chair, and it was hard not to focus on her, since she was wearing a zebra-print dress.

Len said, "At my age, it takes a lot to get me excited. I'm like a dog with two tails. That did not disappoint me in any way." Bruno said, "What a way to start this incredible final." Carrie Ann told Emmitt, "What's so great about you is... you're the everyday man who became a dancer in front of our eyes."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Mario Lopez & Karina Smirnoff - Samba
Mario followed up Emmitt's well-executed Samba to "The Duke" with his own well-executed Samba to "The Duke." Who did a better job is a matter of personal preference. And, for this round, I preferred Mario & Karina's dance. To me, it looked like the more sharply executed of the two routines.

Carrie Ann said, "For the first time, I really saw you actually enjoying yourself completely. You rose to a new level tonight." Len said, "It was clean, it was precise, it had good rhythm. You messed up the running promenade. You got off on the wrong foot." Bruno said, "That was scintillating. It was a very complicated technical routine, and you took a great chance coming into the finals and going for it with such a difficult routine."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...9, Bruno...10 = 29/30

Round Two - Favorite Dances

Emmitt & Cheryl - Mambo (Week 7)
This Mambo earned them a 29 the first time they performed it. Emmitt's kids flew out to L.A. to watch their dad perform. Offering encouragement, on of Emmitt's daughters said, "You have a lot more fans than Mario. He might have dimples, but you've got style."

Emmitt's shimmy was out of control -- in a good way. He and Cheryl had great execution and no mistakes, which is all they needed to do to earn perfect scores.

Bruno told Emmitt, "You must be driven and empowered by the muse of dance. The ease by which you come out here and charm everybody is astounding." Carrie Ann said, "You mastered the technique, and you entertained the crowd." In regard to Cheryl, Len said, "This girl should get an MVP: Most Valued Partner."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Mario & Karina - Paso Doble (Week 4)
Mario fell at the end of the dance the first time he and Karina did it, and it still earned 29 points. Mario's mother said that, if her son doesn't win Dancing with the Stars, "Mama will make him a trophy."

Mario really looked like he was feeling the the dance. I don't know if I appreciated how cool the routine was the first time I saw it. Mario didn't fall at the end, and the effect was more dramatic than the original performance.

Len called the routine "so great. Full of fire. Full of passion." Bruno called Mario, "The Latin Thunderball! Like a storm over the sun-baked Spanish plain." Bruno gestured wildly, mimicking moves from the Paso. Eventually, Len had to restrain him. Carrie Ann said, "This dance embodies what you're best at. Your lines were beyond perfection."
Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Round Three - Freestyle

Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke
Cheryl believes that her Freestyle with Drew last season won them the competition. Drew and his wife, Leah, visited Emmitt & Cheryl during practice to offer encouragement. Emmitt & Cheryl's Freestyle routine left Drew in stitches. "Why?" you ask. Because...

...Emmitt & Cheryl danced their Freestyle to "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer. They dressed in gear reminiscent of the original video -- including long-rise Hammer pants for Emmitt -- and they copied a lot of Hammer's famous moves. To heighten the danger factor, they included four challenging lifts. The lifts weren't perfect, but they looked tough.

What the routine may have lacked in technical excellence, it more than made up for in entertainment. This is the one dance in the entire competition where the sole goal is to please the audience, and Emmitt & Cheryl did just that. It was an inspired choice. And the singer who performed it did as credible a job as can be done with MC Hammer.

Carrie Ann told Emmitt, "You just put MC Hammer to shame. It was what you do best." Len told Emmitt, "If there was a prize for my dancing hero, you'd win it. It was the cherry on the cake." Bruno said, "That was the hammer, the chisel, and the shovel. I never thought I'd see the running man again. But you missed a little on the second lift."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...9 = 29/30

Mario Lopez & Karina Smirnoff
Mario & Karina were sad that their dancing partnership was coming to an end. But Mario was at least relaxed about the lifts in their routine. He dropped Karina on her head in practice a few weeks ago, so it would be hard to do much worse than that.

Mario & Karina dance to another hit of the late '80's: "It Takes Two," by Rob Base. That meant that one of the singers had to spend the entire song yelling, "Yeah...woo!" repeatedly. Mario's white pants and tank top were fine, but Karina's hip-hop flapper look was odd.

While their dancing was executed well, Mario & Karina didn't quite go "free" enough in their Freestyle. Mario did some breakdancing, but they only did a couple of lifts. And, at times, Karina almost seemed to defer to Mario, rather than dance with him. Overall, it seemed more a showcase for Mario alone. Granted, the couple had a very tough act to follow, but I expected something a little more exciting or daring from them.

Bruno called the performance "a hit parade on the dance floor." Carrie Ann said, "That was it. That was the best dance that I have seen this season." Len said, "If that dance was a film, you'd win an Oscar."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Both couples ended the evening tied with 89/90 points. That means that this season's winner will be decided entirely by viewer votes.

My vote tonight went to Emmitt & Cheryl. In my opinion, Mario & Karina had a slightly better Samba. And the second round dances were pretty much a wash, though I still might give the edge to Mario.

But dancing to "U Can't Touch This" was such a savvy choice by Emmitt & Cheryl, it swayed my vote in their favor. It was a move designed to steal all of the attention away from the other couple, and it did just that. Emmitt & Cheryl get extra points just for knowing how to play the game better than anyone else.

DwtS Extra: Front Row at DwtS

When I envisioned attending a taping of Dancing with the Stars, I never dreamed I'd wind up as a VIP in the front row, seated next to the President of Zambia...

What makes me a VIP? Well, nothing, except that I know some very generous people. Imee DuBose, webmaster of StrictlyCheryl.com and MOIB's occasional behind-the-scenes reporter, had arranged for four seats to the show in the name of Dr. Kenneth Kaunda, the former President of Zambia. When his party only needed three of the seats, Imee graciously submitted my name for the fourth.

Dr. Kaunda, an 82-year-old ballroom aficionado, was in Los Angeles representing the Kenneth Kaunda Children of Africa Foundation. His organization works to end the scourge of poverty and AIDS in Zambia, and he was brought to California to address those issues by Project Concern, a not-for-profit organization working globally to prevent disease.

But Tuesday night was for lighter things, like watching celebrities dance.

I arrived at the CBS Studios at 3:05 p.m. PST. Once past security, my husband/chauffeur, Greg, dropped me off at Studio 46. I got my hand stamped and turned over my cell phone and camera to the security agents guarding the audience holding area. While seated on a bench, I started to get the feeling I wasn't in the right place.

I was with the general audience (gasp)!

So I headed round the corner to the VIP entrance and checked in again, receiving a red "Dancing with the Stars" stamp on the inside of my wrist (so it wouldn't show up on camera, I presume). I was handed a bracelet allowing me access to the Green Room after the show, and I stood in line with my fellow VIPs, waiting to enter the studio.

Other folks in line with me included a couple of contest winners from Nebraska and the mother of one of the camera operators.

During this time, I called Shawn Ruggiero from Project Concern, who assured me that Dr. Kaunda was on his way to the show, and that I was welcome to wait for them to arrive before entering the studio.

I checked with Heather the Audience Coordinator, and she told me I'd be seated with Dr. Kaunda at one of the floor-side tables across from the judges. I decided to wait a bit longer for my companions, so I found a bench in front of the studio entrance.

As the VIPs with whom I'd been waiting filed into the studio, I noticed that it wasn't until after 4 p.m. that the celebrities -- like Elizabeth Berkley and George Lopez -- started to arrive. Just because they're rich and famous, they think they're entitled to skip the lines. They're right.

Taye Diggs arrived and joined up with three gorgeous, thin, young women in short dresses and high heels -- the kind of women you want to hate on principle. After checking IMDB, I'm pretty sure that one of the beautiful girls was Diggs's Day Break co-star, Moon Bloodgood.

Then Adam Baldwin (one of Hollywood's few non-Baldwin Brother Baldwins) showed up and joined the unofficial Day Break cast party. I confess that, at the time, I was secretly perturbed that Baldwin couldn't psychically sense how much I'd liked him on Firefly. Some part of me expected him to come over and talk to me about the show. Not that I would've been able to speak.

It was closing in on 4:15, and I decided to enter the studio and find my seat. I stopped in the ladies' room to ditch my nylons, which had inevitably ripped. Besides, it was 95 degrees in L.A., and no one else was wearing them anyway.

A page took me to my seat at the back of one of the floor-side tables. I know it was my seat because it had my name on it. It seemed gauche to put the sign with my name on it in my purse. But, in retrospect, odds are pretty low that Elizabeth Berkley would have outed me as the Midwestern plebeian who put the sign with her name on it in her bag. I should've taken it.

Noticing that I was alone at my table, a kind soul named Bill Virchis -- who was sitting with George Lopez at the "Fans of Mario Lopez" table -- took pity on me. Bill's involved with the production of the upcoming Tango Ball in San Diego, and he was Mario's high school wrestling coach. We talked about the studio's deceptively small dance floor, and the special efforts the lighting crew takes to make sure the floor doesn't reflect light into the dancers' eyes.

During our conversation, Heather the Audience Coordinator came over and told me that she and her crew were rearranging some seats, and I'd be moving to the front of the table, right next to the dance floor.

It seemed to me that Heather and her crew have one of the hardest jobs at DwtS. Celebrities arrive later than the rest of the VIPs and regular guests, and it's Heather's job to make sure that there are good seats available for the bigwigs, but that none of the seats near the floor go empty if those bigwigs don't show. She's constantly considering possible scenarios, and adapting as necessary.

As I switched seats, I shot Bill a terrified glance, and he encouraged me to just have a good time.

Space near the dance floor is at such a premium that my legs were tucked behind a huge, lighting fixture at the edge. My chair was placed right next to the one reserved for Dr. Kaunda, and there was just enough room to my right for a camera man to sneak in between my seat and one at the next table.

It was already 4:30, a half hour before showtime, and barely half of the VIP table seats were filled. I was still the only attendee at my table.

Around that time, the warm-up emcee came out to entertain the audience and get us in the flow of the show. He introduced the judges, specifying that we give an especially huge welcome to Len. Apparently Len was concerned that Bruno and Carrie Ann had been getting bigger rounds of applause of late.

The judges took their seats and began looking over their notes. Len took a swig of Red Bull and then handed his can to Bruno for a sip.

Tom and Samantha came out next, and her dress was so long that she couldn't walk without holding up the bottom of it.

When Bruno and Len left their seats for a few minutes, Tom sat in Len's chair and talked to Carrie Ann. Even though I couldn't hear the conversation, based on the hand gestures, I could tell that Tom was doing a dead-on impersonation of Len.

As we got closer to showtime, the remaining celebrities took their seats. The seats at the back of my table were occupied by sportscaster Rich Eisen and his wife.

Finally, at 4:55, President Kaunda and his two guests arrived -- the last three VIPs into the ballroom. Tom came over and said hello, and then it was time for the show to go live.

A camera panned my row of tables as the whole studio audience clapped. This footage was inserted at the end of the dancer introductions, and then saved as insurance. It could be edited into the Pacific Coast broadcast in the event of a wardrobe malfunction.

The show began with 20 minutes of performance footage from past Results Shows, which we were able to watch on screens to the side of the stage. During the commercial breaks, the emcee acknowledged people in the audience celebrating their birthdays, including Samantha's handsome husband, who probably sneaked into the show under his wife's dress.

When the dancing finally got underway, the show was amazing. The colors are bright, and everyone looks fabulous. Little details, like the way the fabric in Cheryl's Waltz gown never seemed to stop moving, jumped out at me.

Cheryl and Karina are both gorgeous in person, and all the dancers have perfect skin. But what blew me away was Edyta's smile. Her smile lit up the whole room, and it never once faltered. If I could emulate any of the pros, I'd want to dance like Edyta, because she looks so genuinely happy at every moment.

During the commercial breaks, everyone cleared the dance floor. Tom often ran up to some seats to the right of the judges, where professionals Nick and Tony sat alongside some of the makeup artists. When necessary, the makeup techs sprinted from the audience to apply touch-ups to the hosts, stars, and judges.

Speaking of the judges, Carrie Ann had a rough night. The emcee encourages the audience to boo when they don't like a judge's comments, and Carrie Ann didn't shy away from offering criticism, earning her the loudest boos.

Because the hosts' and judges' microphones aren't amplified in the studio, the booing crowd couldn't hear any of Carrie Ann's positive follow-up comments. In the case of Mario's Cha Cha Cha, everyone was surprised when she ultimately gave him a 10.

As soon as the show was over, the press descended on the dance floor. Tom and Len immediately went backstage and changed into jeans, while Bruno, Carrie Ann, and all of the dancers were interviewed. Samantha started her second job of the evening, interviewing her castmates as a correspondent for the E! Network.

After retrieving my camera from security, I met up with Cheryl's mom, Sherri Burke. Imee had told Sherri I'd be there, and when I introduced myself, she hugged me as if she'd known me for years. I think she gives everyone that impression. She knew all the security guards and pages by name, and she mingled effortlessly. It was almost as if she owned the studio, and we were her guests.

Sherri was accompanied by the Mayor of Atherton, California, Charles Marsala. He was happy to chat for a while, until he had to run off to his second shindig of the evening: Governor Schwarzenegger's victory celebration.

Season One champ Alec Mazo was there, but I didn't approach him, because he is very handsome and I am a coward. I did get the chance to talk with Music Director Harold Wheeler, who is quite handsome in his own right -- just not Mazo handsome.

Mr. Wheeler said that the band has been rehearsing nonstop since the season began. Once the season ends, he expects a two week period of complete relief, until he starts to miss DwtS, which he said always happens.

It took over an hour for Emmitt & Cheryl to finish all of their interviews, and Cheryl had less than a minute for a few pictures, before she was whisked off to another media photo shoot.

Now that the cast interviews had ended, the lights in the studio were turned off, signaling that it was time to head to the Green Room.

Sherri, Mayor Marsala, and I headed up to the Green Room for something to drink. Nick Kosovich was there, looking as "Nick" as you could possibly imagine: tall, suave, holding up a drink, and surveying the room with detached amusement. He was like an Aussie version of William Powell in The Thin Man movies.

Deciding I'd used up all of my courage for the evening, I called Greg for a ride back to our hotel. We picked up some subs and arrived at the hotel just in time for the Pacific Coast broadcast of the show. Tom introduced the President of Zambia, and I got to see my television debut.

---

As for who will win Dancing with the Stars 3, I have no idea. I generally don't believe in momentum in sports, but I do believe that Emmitt & Cheryl are the trendy choice now and could have the edge.

But, after seeing the show live, I have a new appreciation for Karina. She's such a talented dancer that, if she can create a superb freestyle routine, she and Mario have a great shot.

The Amazing Race 10: Episode 9

After fording Finnish swamps and bike riding through a mine, all the racers of The Amazing Race 10 wanted was a nice Pit Stop to rest at. But this week was only the first half of a two-part leg of the race.

Learning that teams would start this week's leg by leaving Madagascar for Finland, Beauty Queen Dustin asked, "Don't they wear wooden shoes there?"

Godwin Cho said he and his brother were running this leg "in memory of [David & Mary]," who were eliminated last week.

Erwin laughed at Godwin and said, "You make it sound like they're in the grave!"

Teams arrived in Helsinki on the same flight, and then made their way to an internet cafe, where they were surprised to receive videos from home. Viewers were surprised to learn that Erwin has a hot girlfriend.

The cafe owner gave teams their next clue, directing them to travel 125 miles by train and taxi to a school with a typically difficult-to-spell Finnish name. On the train, Kandice had to borrow beauty products from Tyler, settling the debate: male models are more vain than beauty queens.

The Beauty Queens and the Models grabbed the first cabs they saw when exiting the train. The other three teams noticed that there was a official queue of Finns waiting for taxis.

Rob & Kimberly begged their way to the front of the line, and Lyn & Karlyn just cut in front of everyone. As he and Erwin waited patiently at the end of the line, Godwin mused, "Being polite sucks sometimes."

Upon reaching the school, teams found their next clue in a box at the edge of a muddy field. They had their choice of Detours: "Swamp This or Swamp That."

In Swamp This, teams strapped on cross-country skis and followed a one-mile course across the swampy, snow-free field. They could finish the task quickly if they could master the technique.

In Swamp That, teams completed an obstacle course on foot through the mud. Though the Swamp That course was shorter, some the obstacles required brute strength, and teams were more likely to get stuck waist-deep in the mud.

Tyler & James opted for Swamp That, while Dustin & Kandice strapped on their skis for Swamp This. How anyone could turn down the chance to run a Finnish mud obstacle course is beyond me.

The Models had an easy enough time swinging on ropes and crawling through mud, until a steeplechase-style jump into a mud pit left James mired in sludge. Once Tyler helped James free, they continued on to the next phase, where one team member needed to carry the other.

Tyler started out carrying James, but they switched halfway through. Exhausted from their efforts, the final phase of the course -- a run to the clue box -- slowed to a leisurely walk.

The next clue instructed them to take a train 104 miles to the town of Turku, and then drive another 70 miles to the Tytyri limestone mine in Lohja.

Just to make sure the skiers didn't stay totally clean, their course included a similar steeplechase-style jump. Dustin landed on her rear, complaining, "It's gonna look like I pooed my pants."

The Beauty Queens reached the clue box shortly after the Models, but were able to make up ground when Tyler & James took the time to change clothes before getting into their cab to the train station.

Rob & Kimberly gained a lead on the two remaining teams when Rob carried Kimberly through part of the obstacle course at a brisk pace. In their cab, afterward, Rob said, "I didn't think I'd be able to carry you as easily as I did!"

I can only assume that, as soon as he said that, Rob wished he could take it back.

When Kimberly asked the inevitable follow-up question -- "Do you think I'm fat?" -- Rob wisely kept his mouth shut.

Rob & Kimberly just missed the first train to Turku, giving Dustin & Kandice and Tyler & James a one-hour head start on the other three teams.

At the mine in Lohja, teams encountered a Roadblock. One team member had to ride a bicycle one mile down into the mine, retrieve a limestone block, climb back up the mine, and break open the block to find a clue. The ride down the hill was easy, but everyone walked their bike back up the steep hill.

The clue inside the rock instructed teams to drive 39 miles to Olympic Stadium in Helsinki. Tyler & James arrived first, and the next clue told them to rappel face-first down a tall tower attached to the stadium.

Tyler went first, hoping to demonstrate the safety of the task to the fearful James. James worked up enough courage to go through with the rappel, but his technique suffered a bit.

Instead of walking his way down the building, James' legs hung free and he hung in his harness like an upside-down "V," bent at the waist. He was forced to lower his whole body weight using just his arms. The whole endeavor looked like a Coast Guard helicopter rescue in reverse.

As James reached the ground, Dustin & Kandice were about to start their descent, and the other teams were arriving at the stadium. Tyler & James received a clue informing them that this leg of the race wasn't over, and that they would need to keep racing.

Next week, teams get to drive tanks through another swamp. And Lyn & Karlyn break away from the Cho Brothers, ending the Six-Pack alliance for good.

Survivor: Cook Islands -- Episode 9

It would've been satisfying to see the scheming Jonathan get his comeuppance after foolishly ditching the Aitu tribe to join Raro. But Brad's ouster may have set things up to be much more interesting in the coming weeks of Survivor: Cook Islands.

The day after Flicka was eliminated from Aitu, Candice opened up to the camera about her plans to ditch the rest of her tribe (including Jonathan) for her old buddies Parvati and Adam, once the two tribes merged.

Turns out, Candice didn't need to wait for the merge to get her wish. At the Reward Challenge later that morning, Jeff Probst offered all of the survivors ten seconds to decide whether they wanted to "mutiny" -- leaving their current tribe and joining the other. Candice seized the opportunity and rejoined Adam and Parvati on Raro.

Once he saw Candice mutiny, Jonathan did the same, believing (incorrectly) that he and Candice had a strong bond. This gave Raro eight members (the four Caucasians, Nate, Rebecca, Jenny, and Brad), and left Aitu with only four (Yul, Becky, Ozzy, and Sundra).

The remaining members of Aitu were stunned by the defection, but they rallied during the Challenge.

Teams placed two female members into a barrel and rolled them through an obstacle course, collecting buoys along the way. At the shore, the buoys clipped onto the barrel, and all tribe members floated with it out to sea.

One team member dove below the water to grab four flags before floating back to shore. The first team to clip their flags to a pole and raise it won reward.

The race was over as soon as the tribes hit the water. Raro's A-Team (Nate, Adam, Candice, and Jenny) quickly floated off course and never recovered. As Aitu raised their flags, Ozzy told Raro, "Mutineers are the first people to die." Aitu then sent Candice to Exile Island.

For their Reward, Aitu got to enjoy a letters from home and a breakfast of pastries. The combination of the letters and the emotional win brought all of them to tears. Yul reassured the group, "We're a family out here."

On Exile Island, Candice admitted that she hadn't expected Jonathan to follow her to Raro. Now she was mad that he was bonding with her buddies, while she was alone.

But things weren't going well for Jonathan at camp. His arrival was met with skepticism, and he was overly eager to please his new teammates. He did all of the work around camp, while they lounged in the sun.

Nate was happy to take advantage of Jonathan's eagerness, knowing that it wouldn't win him any favor. Nate asked, "You think we're gonna have your back after you just sold out your old tribe? Are you dumb?"

Then it was time for the Immunity Challenge. All of Aitu participated, and the four Raro members who sat

Teams paddled glass-bottom boats over marks placed on the seafloor, using crosshairs etched in the glass to line them up properly. Once lined up, teams dropped cannonballs through a small chute. If aimed correctly, each cannonball would land in a basket underwater. This released a pair of buoys with letters painted on them.

After hitting three targets, teams rowed to shore with their lettered buoys and used them to solve a word puzzle.

Raro took an early lead, carefully lining up their boat and hitting their first two targets, while Aitu struggled to figure out how to use their boat's sight. But then Yul realized that he could look straight down the cannonball chute instead, and line up each basket quickly and accurately. His team had to shush him when he nearly yelled out the secret in his excitement.

After that, Aitu soon hit their three targets and rowed to shore, while Jonathan missed Raro's third target over and over again. When Jeff announced that Raro was having trouble, Jonathan muttered, "Oh, please."

In his flat play-by-play voice, Jeff replied, "Jonathan getting frustrated by me."

For the word puzzle, teams had to rearrange their letters to form the name of the ship on which the world's most famous mutiny occurred. It took Aitu mere seconds to spell out "Bounty," and the challenge was over.

Once Raro was back at camp, Parvati quickly sought out Candice to ask about her relationship with Jonathan. "How tight?"

Candice responded, succinctly: "Not tight."

Jonathan seemed the obvious boot, but Adam was concerned that Brad -- who'd previously said the game was "every man for himself" after the merge -- would side with Aitu as soon as he could.

Since Jonathan had just betrayed his old tribe, Adam correctly figured Jonathan had nobody to rely on. Adam convinced Nate that it couldn't hurt to drag Jonathan for a while, telling him which way to vote until it was time to get rid of him.

Nate agreed with the plan, but he didn't want Brad to suspect anything was up. So Nate hung out with Brad, saying they were "homies" and reassuring him that, after the merge, they would "chop [Aitu] like poop."

At Tribal Council, Jenny made another colorful and crude promise regarding the Aitu tribe: "We're gonna pick 'em off like zits."

But before the zit picking and poop chopping, Raro had to vote out one of their own. Adam's plan held, and Brad was voted out.

In a twist on previous seasons, Brad became the first member of the jury. That would make for a ten person jury, instead of the usual seven. Something tells me there's more to it than that.

Brad described Survivor as "The best, worst experience of my life."

Next time, Adam and Candice get smoochy, making Jenny nervous about the strength of her tribe's alliance. And Jeff introduces yet another twist that could change everything. EVERYTHING!

DwtS 3 -- Results Show Week 9

Mario and Emmitt have been fan favorites since the beginning of the season, so it was no surprise that they earned spots as finalists for Dancing with the Stars 3. But it was still sad to see Joey & Edyta go.

After a brief rundown of last night's performances, the judges asked Mario & Karina for an encore of their Tango. Len said that the judges finally agreed on which of the perfect-scoring routines to award the encore "after hours of deliberation and three bottles of wine."

Hey, look, the newest Bond girl is in the audience! Perhaps it's because the latest James Bond movie comes out next week.

And wouldn't you know it, several of the pros just happened to choreograph a demo dance to the James Bond theme song just in time for this week's show. Elena, Tony, Kym, and Max were joined by two of last seasons pros, Anna Trebunskaya and Jonathan Roberts. It was good to see them back again.

After the shameless promotion, Samantha interviewed the remaining couples backstage. She recycled some of the questions she's been asking for weeks. Joey's still working hard, and Mario's still feeling "the pressure."

Emmitt said that Joey and Mario were so competitive, "They could play my sport."

The backstage interviews were followed by footage of interviews with members of last night's audience. Of Emmitt, one audience member said, "Any man that can smile like that and make your panties fall off, he deserves to be voted for." (I must not have sat next to her; there was no underwear on the floor by my table.)

Elizabeth Berkley was rooting for her former Saved By the Bell castmate, Mario. And Dr. Kenneth Kaunda, first president of Zambia (and my unofficial date for last night's show), said he was impressed by all of the celebrities. That's the kind of stuff you've gotta say if you want to be president.

After the interviews, we got a preview of some of the early rehearsals for the DwtS Tour. Even though she's not listed on the official tour website, Ashly DelGrosso was at rehearsals, perhaps filling in for Karina while she competes with Mario.

To build excitement for the tour, Max & Willa, Harry & Ashly, Lisa & Louis, and Kym & Joey McIntyre performed a fun jive to "Footloose."

Slim-Fast contestant Tysonia and her instructor Christian were in the audience tonight to watch footage of her performance at the Pacific DanceSport Championships. They finished their round in second place. According to the DwtS board at Dance-Forums, the winning couple was pro Jeremy Gatlin and his student Mika Garrett.

Then, tonight's special musical guests, Pet Shop Boys, performed "West End Girls" alongside some hip-hop mimes.

A package of interviews with members of the media followed. Rachael Ray said that the show is so popular, even the animal kingdom keeps up on the show: "My pit bull definitely has an opinion about this." Most of the media members expressed more interest in the scandals associated with DwtS (e.g., Shanna decking Paris Hilton, Sara Evans' divorce, etc.) than in the show's dancing.

Another clip package featured the remaining participants talking about their competitors. Edyta said that when Emmitt dances, "he looks very masculine."

"Joey's a real nice guy," said Mario. "And I think that comes across when he performs."

And of Mario, Joey said, "Those routines that he does with Karina are perfection."

Finally, it was time for elimination. Mario & Karina were announced as the first couple moving on to the finale. Then Tom announced that Joey & Edyta had received the lowest number of audience votes, meaning they were going home.

Tom asked the audience, "Have you ever seen as much unbridled enthusiasm as Joey brought to the dance floor?"

Of Edyta, Joey said, "This is a great friendship. We're gonna go on the tour, and we're gonna rock it out for 40 dates or so." Joey tried to be positive about his experience, but the smile was gone from his eyes. He was obviously disappointed.

Samantha announced that next week, the final two couples will dance their favorite routine from the season, a new freestyle routine, and then both couples will perform dances to the same song

As the show closed, Joey & Edyta danced their final dance to the comically insensitive, "Didn't We Almost Have It All."

DwtS 3 -- Performance Show Week 9

(Note: My Ox Is Broken's own Kathy was at this week's show, so this recap is by me, her husband, Greg.)

Mario Lopez & Karina Smirnoff - Tango
Mario was glad to have the chance to pick this week's dances and music. "I like having control of my destiny," he said. He chose the Tango as one of his dances because he "got scolded for it before." Mario went back to his hometown, Chula Vista, where he spoke to students and celebrated "Mario Lopez Day."

Dancing to "Whatever Lola Wants," Mario and Karina wore black outfits and serious expressions. They started their hold early on in the dance, and kept it throughout -- a big change from their first Tango. Rather than exhibiting athleticism and showmanship, it looked like they focused on doing the dance properly, trusting their personality to come through.

Len started off stern, saying of the stars, "They've all got to up their game." He quickly softened and told Mario, "That was your best dance...ever!" Bruno thought the routine was "Gutsy, intense, all gift-wrapped with beautiful technique." Carrie Ann said, "That might be the best dance I've seen this whole season."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke - Waltz
Emmitt & Cheryl went to a NASCAR event to promote themselves and give Emmitt a chance to say, "Gentlemen, start your engines." Cheryl was excited to do a Cha Cha Cha, because"Emmitt is so good at putting in his own funky moves." Emmitt looked forward to the Waltz, because it would show off his versatility. He said, "You're in the competition so you can become a champion."

The couple danced to Billy Vera's "At This Moment." Emmitt wore a jacket with long tails, and Cheryl had on a beautiful, flowing dress. The routine was romantic and smooth, just like me. It sounded like the audience was cheering loudly throughout the entirety of the performance.

Len said it the dance was like a music box, in which "Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty used to go round and do a lovely waltz." Carrie Ann said, "There's an authenticity to you when you get out there and dance." Bruno told Emmitt, "You're turning into an American wonder. It's like the Grand Canyon."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 29/30

Joey Lawrence & Edyta Sliwinska - Quickstep
Joey said he and Edyta chose the Rumba because, the first time out, "we didn't get the marks we wanted." Conversely, they chose the Quickstep because they did it well the first time they tried it. Joey wanted to dress as a sailor and dedicate his dance to his Navy vet grandfather. Joey and Edyta went to Disneyland to rally support.

For their Quickstep, Joey and Edyta danced to "42nd Street." As promised, Joey wore his sailor's outfit, and Edyta wore what was, for her, a rather conservative dress. It was appropriate, but a little sad (for me). Their moves together were quick and sharp, and they were at their best when working together. Unfortunately, Joey broke into another one of his solo tap routines in the middle, which broke the momentum of the dance.

Of the routine, Bruno said, "Anchors aweigh! Full speed ahead!" Carrie chided the couple for Joey's solo bit: "You broke the hold!" Len responded by saying, "Technically, you did break the hold. But, it was still in keeping with the dance. That deserves to go into the finals."
Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 29/30

Latin Round

Mario Lopez & Karina Smirnoff - Cha Cha Cha
They danced to Weird Al Yankovic's hit song, "Fat" -- though this version had different lyrics that weren't so goofy. Karina wore shiny vinyl pants and a bikini top, and Mario had on a tank top and black slacks. I just happen to have both those outfits in my own wardrobe. Where their Tango was serious and restrained, their Cha Cha Cha was an athletic crowd-pleaser. There wasn't a lot of interaction between the two dancers, but the routine very well danced. Mario did a bunch of Michael Jackson moves, though I don't know what that has to do with Weird Al.

Carrie Ann said, "I took a point off because of the Michael Jackson. I added a point back because of the hot Cha Cha!" Len felt "there was too much popping and breakdancing, and not enough Cha Cha." Bruno snarled, "When you're good, you're very, very good. And when you're bad, you're even better."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...9, Bruno...10 = 29/30

Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke - Cha Cha Cha
For their Cha Cha Cha, Emmitt wore a metallic shirt, and Cheryl had on an animal print dress. In this dance, Emmitt got to be Emmitt. Throughout the song, "Ride, Sally, Ride", Emmitt showed off his big smile and smooth footwork. He worked a lot more with his partner than did Mario, and the routine was pure fun.

Bruno said, "The audience really eats you! You exude such joy. Irresistible." Carrie Ann stood up and sang, "Ride, Emmitt, Ride!" Len told Emmit, "You did that dance in week one. I loved it, then. I love it ten times more, now."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Joey Lawrence & Edyta Sliwinska - Rumba
In a week where the couples got to choose their own music, Joey & Edyta inexplicably picked the Bangles' "Eternal Flame." Edyta wore a fringed skirt and metal bikini top (but not like Princess Leia's), and Joey was in dark pants and open shirt. They did a solid job, like they always do, but I think this dance may have been their last. Joey might score the highest in real competitions, but he doesn't play to the audience like the other two contestants.

Len told Joey, "I've always said you are a ballroom dancer, and not so much a Latin dancer. Tonight, you proved me wrong." Bruno called Joey "a smoldering shapeshifter on the floor." And Carrie Ann praised Joey's partner for her teaching. "What an improvement. Edyta, you worked on his chest!"

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Leaderboard:
1 (tie) - Everybody (59/60)

This week, my vote didn't go to anybody. I'm a man. I don't watch this dancing stuff.

(Okay, I voted for Emmitt. But I'm going to miss Edyta after she and Joey go home on Wednesday.)

DwtS Extra: Jerry Springer Interview

This past Friday, I had the chance to chat with Jerry Springer. Jerry was a great interview, and a heck of a nice guy. We talked a lot about Dancing with the Stars, and a little bit about politics.

How are you feeling after your run on Dancing with the Stars?

My hair hurts. You know, it was more exercise than I was used to.

You didn't have a strenuous regimen before doing the show?

Back in '87, I think I did a knee bend. I do remember doing that. But I don't think I've had any real exercise since then. I play golf, and back when I was younger I played sports. Most guys did. But I haven't run around or done anything like that for years.

So when you signed up, how long did you think you were going to last?

One week. [The show's producers] thought so, too. The hotel was only booked for the first week. I was joking around that, that first week, when you show up at the studio to find out if you've been voted off, I was the only guy that showed up with his luggage. I was sure I was going home.

I really was the worst dancer. But the people watching were really nice, and I guess they just liked to laugh at me falling over and they kept me on. But clearly, all of the others were better dancers than I am.

I don't know about that. Tucker was no great shakes either.

Yeah, okay, I figured we were about even. I figured if I was gonna last, it would be between him and me.

The rest, they're 35 years younger than me. They certainly were coordinated; they knew how to dance going in.

And it was important at the end. That's why I kept going to the camera and saying, "Please, stop voting," because it would've ruined the show. Next year then, everyone would've just come on and joked around.

I think it's important for the integrity of the show that I was voted off -- that you let the final four be real dancers. I could be entertaining for a while, but at the end, it was a show about dancing, and it wasn't appropriate that I was still on. That's why I kept saying, "Please stop."

So you were being sincere when you asked fans to stop voting for you?

Yeah. I was just being honest the whole time. I said, "This is fun. I enjoy it, and I'm flattered. But it's not fair."

Plus, these are young people at a really important part of their career. It could be a great boost for them; this could make them stars. So why should I get in the way? I've had my run. I've been lucky. Let one of the younger people give their career a boost.

You've already got the Jerry Springer Show on television, and Springer on the Radio on Air America.

I've been lucky. That's why I didn't think it was appropriate for me to be on in the first place. I just tried to be entertaining every week.

All of the cast members seem to get along really well. How much time did you spend together?

Starting Monday, we'd be together. I'd fly in on Sunday night or Monday morning, usually Monday morning I'd fly out there and then in the afternoon we'd have the blocking and then the dress rehearsal. Then Tuesday, we'd have the show and then Wednesday, the Results show. So I'd say Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday we'd be together.

They were all really, really so nice to me, and I like them all. Every one of them had a great personality, and it was just nice. I'm sure they didn't see me as a real threat, so it was pretty easy to be hangin' with me. They weren't worried that I'd come up with a trick step.

But, if they'd ask me questions -- some advice about the business or what they'd be doing -- I'd be helpful, of course. They were probably watching my shows when they were in high school, so that was kind of neat.

How often did you see Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris?

I would only see them on Tuesday and Wednesday, and they were really nice. So are the judges. The truth is, everyone associated with the show was really nice. No one had an attitude. For all the bad stories you hear about Hollywood, this was really a nice group. I don't think we were overcome with any huge egos.

So you said you would fly out there. Where were you training? What was your work schedule like, accommodating the radio show and the TV show?

Well, the radio show I would do from whatever city I was in, but the TV show I would do in Chicago on Thursdays and Fridays, three shows a day. And then Saturday and Sunday we would rehearse, and Monday morning we would fly out to L.A. Because I'm going against the clock, that got me in around noon, and blocking was late afternoon.

So that was usually my schedule. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday I'd do the radio show from out in L.A.

So where did you and Kym practice in Chicago, then?

The Fred Astaire Studio and the Arthur Murray Studio, downtown.

By the way, was that her idea for the ruffled shirt for the Samba?

Well, what happens is, they have a wardrobe coordinator, and as soon as the Results Show is over, they tell you what your next dance is for the week. So you have a meeting with the designers, and you talk about what the dance is and what you kinda wanna be looking, and you all discuss it.

Me, I just sat there. The only thing I kept saying was, "Think funny. Think funny." Because if I look like I'm taking it too seriously, it would be offensive to people.

Let's be honest about this. The honest thing is, I don't know how to dance. I'm gonna really try, but let's try to entertain by putting some comedy into it. Make it an entertaining dance rather than an artistically perfect dance. So that's what I did. We always thought, "What am I gonna look funny in?"

And those [practice clip] packages we do for the next week, I always tried to put some comedy into it.

And it seemed like Kym was really able to play off of you.

She was phenomenal. Phenomenal. She had the toughest job of any of the dancers.

In fairness, all the other pros are wonderful people and great dancers, but they got to dance with people who can dance. So they got to say, "Now we'll do the split, and now we'll do the lift, and now we'll..." So they could just sit down at the drawing board and create this wonderful dance.

Well, she obviously couldn't do that with me, so considering the limitations of what I could do physically, she was remarkable. And she's got such a great attitude. She's a real sweetheart.

Yeah. She's been a great addition to the show, and I hope she comes back for another season. Now, regarding the other young woman in your life, it's well known that you did the show for your daughter, Katie. Is she taking dancing lessons, too, in preparation for her wedding? Or does she already know how to dance?

No, she doesn't. We're all gonna take lessons someplace and learn how to do the Waltz together. I now know the basic steps, and I can show her, but I don't trust myself as being a teacher. So I suggested, "Why don't we go take dancing lessons together and learn it." So that's what we're gonna do.

What advice do you have for any fathers who might have to learn this stuff for their daughters' weddings?

Try to do it in front of less people! You know, trying something in front of 30 million people probably wasn't the smartest thing I ever thought about.

Are you and Kym going to be back for the finale?

Yes. And then there's a national tour, which she's gonna go on, and they've invited me to be on as many shows as I can be on. So I'll see. Trying to balance everything, I've gotta figure out what cities I can get to.

I've already got my tickets for the Chicago show.

I'll probably be at that one.

Switching gears, the big question is... Do you think Sherrod Brown's going to be able to defeat Mike DeWine in your former political stomping grounds of Ohio?

Yeah, I think it looks like it. It's not a slam dunk because of the great "Get Out the Vote" operation that the Republicans have, so they will always wind up doing a little better than what the polls show. But even if the gap is narrow, and it's now seven points, my guess is that Sherrod will survive that.

I also think there really will be, and what happened today with that reverend, that really nullifies any concerns people had with what John Kerry had done for the Democrats. I think there is just now such national disgust with the current administration or whatever, I think it's a sweep year. Every once in a while, it happens. And it's happened to Democrats, too. It's not always just bad Republicans. There's a pendulum, and I think the pendulum's ready to switch. I think we're going back the other way.

Even if Saddam's trial is decided by Monday, is that going to make any difference?

I don't think it means anything because I don't think it's on anyone's consciousness. People are wondering why we haven't gotten Osama bin Laden. Saddam Hussein may be a pig, but he never attacked us.

Americans don't go around saying, "God, I hate Saddam Hussein." That was someone we were told to hate, but there's no instinctive feeling of animosity. People intellectually say, "God, this is a very bad person," but I don't hang around anyone who starts a discussion with, "Oh, that Saddam Hussein..." It's, "Why the hell are we in Iraq?" Some people think it's good, some bad, but you never hear talk about Saddam.

So no, I don't think that has any effect. Plus it looks a little too manipulated. To the extent that it has a political impact, I think it will backfire, because it looks like we talked them into announcing it two days before the election. It's just so blatant.

Even if the judge did decide that's when he was going to announce it, wouldn't you call him and say, "You know what, it's going to look awful. Couldn't you just hold it off for a week until after the election?" And of course they would, so it's clearly a political...it's just so crass and obvious. But I don't think it will any effect. No.

Thanks very much for the interview, Jerry!

Thanks, Kath. Take it easy.