DwtS 4, Week 7: Performance Show

Billy Ray had two chances to impress the judges and fans tonight on Dancing with the Stars, with both a ballroom dance and a Latin dance. But doubling the workload just made it that much harder for him to get even one dance right.

BALLROOM ROUND

Laila Ali & Maksim Chmerkovskiy -- Quickstep
Song: Stevie Wonder, "Part Time Lover"

Laila put so much effort into holding the Quickstep's exaggerated posture that it sapped all of the fun from the performance. It was well-executed, but more mechanical than I'd expect from her.

The judges were much more impressed than I was. Len declared: "The heat's on tonight, and you've turned the gas up." Bruno said, "You have opened the door to ballroom heaven." And Carrie Ann quoted the poet, L.L. Cool J: "Momma said knock you out, and she knocked me out."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...9, Bruno...10 = 29/30

John Ratzenberger & Edyta Sliwinska -- Fox Trot
Song: Frank Sinatra, "That's Life"

John deserves a lot of credit for not relying on Edyta to sell this dance. He used a lot of the floor, but, more importantly, he smiled throughout the dance.

Bruno told John, "You've obviously been to dance rehab, because the difference in a week is unbelievable." Carrie Ann said, "I think was your best dance thus far." Len remarked to John, "If I'd have had to take on what you've taken on, I would now be in a hospital."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...7, Bruno...8 = 23/30

Apolo Anton Ohno & Julianne Hough -- Fox Trot
Song: Irving Berlin, "Steppin' Out"

The performance was smooth, classy, light and fun, and Julianne's dress was fabulous.

Carrie Ann told Apolo, "Your musicality is what always amazes me." Len, for some reason, was not as impressed as Carrie Ann: "From you, I don't want good. I want great. And that was in no way great." Bruno objected to Len's comments: "I don't see where the badness was."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...8, Bruno...9 = 26/30

Ian Ziering & Cheryl Burke -- Tango
Song: Bonnie Tyler, "Holding Out For A Hero"

Ian looked uncharacteristically confident in his best performance yet. His former Beverly Hills 90210 castmates Jason Priestley, Jennie Garth, and Tori Spelling were in the studio audience and gave him a standing ovation. I'm sure Shannon Doherty was standing somewhere, as well.

Len said, "It had fire, it had passion, it had drama." Bruno called the performance "the revenge of Ian." Carrie Ann said, "You were smiling. You had the drama. Having fun doesn't mean you don't have drama."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 27/30

Billy Ray Cyrus & Karina Smirnoff -- Waltz
Song: Neil Diamond, "Play Me"

In an attempt to show off his lovely partner, Billy Ray let Karina do all the work and barely moved. He gave the minimum effort possible.

Bruno said, "Most of the time it was like Vanna White at the Wheel of Fortune. You've have to put out as much work as she does." Carrie said, "There wasn't enough content." Len noted, "The trouble was there was only one recognizable step...and it's a Samba step. But I love you, and I hope you're back, 'cause I think you're great."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...5, Len...6, Bruno...6 = 17/30

Joey Fatone & Kym Johnson -- Fox Trot
Song: Michael Jackson, "The Way You Make Me Feel"

The remixed version of the Michael Jackson song was strange, but not as strange as the magic tricks Joey performed during the routine. But somehow, the fun, energetic performance worked.

Carrie Ann -- "Someone's finally pulling the stops out." Len liked Joey's ABC's: "Attitude, Belief, Confidence," but felt the routine had "a little too much razzle-dazzle." Bruno accused Len of "being difficult for the sake of being difficult," and called the performance "dazzling."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...9, Bruno...10 = 29/30

LATIN ROUND

Laila & Maksim -- Samba
Song: Frank Sinatra, "Brazil"

Laila is always at her best in the Latin dances, and tonight was no different. She looked much more joyful than during her first dance -- despite her unattractive ruffled lime green dress. The routine ended with a solo by Laila, which allowed the audience to see her ability, without being distracted by Maks.

Bruno said simply, "All the right buttons were pressed." Carrie Ann shouted, "Finally! That was amazing!" Len said, "I just hope your dad's at home watching this, because he should be so proud of you. Best dance so far tonight."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

John Ratzenberger & Edyta Sliwinska --Rumba
Song: Queen and David Bowie, "Under Pressure"

Because John is old enough to be Edyta's dad, they tried to play down the sexiness of the Rumba. The resultant performance was slow, and Edyta's skimpy outfit provided the only excitement.

Carrie Ann told John: "Out of all of the older older gentlemen we've had on the show, you are the best mover." Len noted, "The dance is a seductive dance, and you're not the first older gentleman to try to seduce a younger girl." Bruno said, "Your footwork is improving incredibly."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...7, Len...8, Bruno...7 = 22/30

Apolo Anton Ohno & Julianne Hough -- Mambo

There were plenty of tricks in this routine, but most of them were cautiously executed -- another day of practice would have helped. The choreography was good enough that they should revisit this routine in one of the later weeks.

Len said, "It was a very, very good performance. But again, I can't call that great." Bruno disagreed, and said of Apolo, "He's selling it with such an ease and aplomb." Carrie Ann told Apolo, "You were a little off this time, and it wasn't your best. But you are still fantastic."

While waiting for his scores backstage, Apolo told Samantha Harris, "I just wanna see more consistency in the judging."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...10 = 28/30

Ian Ziering & Cheryl Burke -- Mambo
Song: Sean Paul, "Gimme The Light"
Ian played up his best attributes tonight. His face was clean-shaven and he wore a shirt with no sleeves for the Mambo. He's deliberately dancing with a bit more abandon -- acting like he just doesn't give a crap anymore (even though he obviously does) -- and it's really helping his performances.

Bruno told Ian, "This is your night for a breakthrough." Carrie Ann -- "Nice attitude shift. It seemed really authentic tonight." Len -- "You've got great rhythm. You've got great hip action. There was a great chemistry between you."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 27/30

Billy Ray Cyrus & Karina Smirnoff-- Samba
Song: James Brown, "Living in America"

As a throwback to last week, Billy Ray engaged in yet more uncouth pelvic thrusting. And his shoes looked more like motorcycle boots than dances shoes, making his tendency to stomp even more noticeable.

Carrie Ann said, "Somehow you managed to pull it out and get the steps done." Len asked Billy Ray, "You didn't get those shoes off Master P, did you?" A barely lucid Bruno said, "You managed somehow to pull yourself through the dance without respect of anything."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...7, Len...7, Bruno...7 = 21/30

Joey Fatone & Kym Johnson -- Jive

Joey Fatone was made for the Jive. It's the perfect venue for his manic energy, and he got to show off some wicked high kicks. His dweeby sweater vest was a nice touch, too. This was my favorite dance of the evening.

Len quipped, "It was totally 'N Sync." Bruno called the performance "a smashing showcase of talent." Carrie Ann shouted at Joey, "You're flexible!"

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Leaderboard (scores out of 60 possible points):
59 -- Laila & Maks, Joey & Kym
54 -- Apolo & Julianne, Ian & Cheryl
45 -- John & Edyta
38 -- Billy Ray & Karina

My vote has to go to Joey & Kym, since they gave my favorite performances in each round. The judges' scores should make it very hard for Billy Ray & Karina to avoid the Bottom Two, where they'll be joined by John & Edyta.

If ABC decides to stick with the same show format next season, they need to hold off on having the couples learn two dances per week until there are only five couples left. The nearly two hour long episode felt ponderous by the end -- and, frankly, there were only four couples I cared to see dance more than once.

TAR All-Stars: Episode 11

Oswald & Danny were already Marked for Elimination, and they seemed resigned to their fate. Would the Cha Cha Chas finish in fourth place for the second time on The Amazing Race?

Although Dustin & Kandice were the first team out of the Macau, China Pit Stop -- with more than a two-hour lead over the last place team, Oswald & Danny -- it ultimately didn't matter. All of the teams arrived in Guam on the same connecting flight.

Early the next morning, the teams assembled at Andersen Air Force Base, where they were driven by military personnel to an air traffic control tower. The next clue was at the top of the tower's hundreds of steps.

The clue contained the Detour for this leg of the race. The choices were Care Package or Engine Care. In Care Package, teams loaded 500 pounds of goods into a box and boarded a cargo plane to take part in a supply drop training exercise. The task was simple, but the flight took at least half an hour.

In Engine Care, teams had to scour clean an engine pod and a wing flap on a B-52 bomber to the satisfaction of an Air Force maintenance supervisor. While the teams could control how fast they cleaned, the engine was very dirty, and the maintenance supervisor was very picky.

The first three teams to the top of the tower chose Engine Care. Charla & Mirna decided that, since they were humanitarians, they should help assemble the humanitarian supplies in Care Package.

The three lead teams scoured their little hearts out, but that maintenance supervisor just never seemed to be satisfied. Kandice complained, "There was no charming the sergeant; the sergeant was all about business. We weren't gettin' anywhere with a smile. We had to scrub."

But, as meticulous as they had to be, all of the teams to choose Engine Care finished before Charla & Mirna. Dustin & Kandice were out first, followed by Eric & Danielle and Oswald & Danny.

As they left, Oswald told the supervisor, "I'm bringing you over to tell my maid how to clean, 'cause obviously I don't know what to tell her."

Still, Charla & Mirna had chosen the best task for them. There would've been many places on the engine that Charla couldn't reach easily, leaving most of the work to Mirna.

Not only did the cousins get to do their humanitarian duty, they got to participate in a military exercise. As a bonus, the pilot did a nose dive, causing the passengers to experience zero gravity for a few seconds.

Upon finishing the Detour, teams had to drive themselves 21 miles to U.S. Naval Base Guam and meet up with another military escort to find there next clue.

Driving to the naval base, Oswald & Danny couldn't decide which way to go, and drove around for a while before finally hiring a taxi to guide them to the base.

Unfortunately for the Cha Cha Chas, Charla & Mirna found someone to guide them to the naval base right away, and they arrived there in third place -- well ahead of Oswald & Danny.

At the naval base, Dustin & Kandice had first pick of the military escorts, and they picked a woman in a "cute" white officer's uniform. Dustin marveled at the female officer's manicure, ecstatic that "you can be in the Navy and have cute nails!"

The next clue for the teams was a Roadblock. One team member had to use a GPS device to find one of four "lost" search-and-rescue training officers, who were hiding in nearby brush. The officer then programmed further instructions into the GPS, guiding the team member to a clearing where he or she would be picked up by a helicopter.

Dustin was the first racer to start the Roadblock, and she picked a navy officer to outfit her in safety gear and hand her a GPS device. Then, the same officer followed her out into the brush, presumably to keep her from accidentally stumbling onto the military's most classified and highly guarded document: an original copy of the lyrics to "In The Navy," signed by all of the members of the Village People.

Dustin was by far the most competent user of the GPS device, and she found the lost officer with relative ease. She then navigated her way to the rescue site, radioed for a helicopter -- code named "Night Rider" (or maybe it was Knight Rider, though Blue Thunder or Airwolf would have been more appropriate) -- and set off a smoke grenade to signal her location. Dustin was hoisted into the chopper and returned to a jubilant Kandice.

The final clue instructed the girls to drive 11 miles to the Pit Stop at Fort Soledad. As she drove to the Pit Stop, Dustin told Kandice, "I love the military stuff. It just pumps me up and makes me feel so patriotic, and proud to be an American." (As she spoke, a patriotic march played on the soundtrack.)

They arrived in first place, becoming the first team officially in the finale. The Beauty Queens added a pair of ATVs to their TAR toy stash, which already included a couple of retro scooters and some wave runners. All they're missing are some Segways and Big Wheels.

The other racers to take on the Roadblock were not as adept with the GPS device as Dustin. Over the course of the season, members have to share the Roadblock duties equally, and Eric had already completed his maximum number of Roadblocks. So, Danielle had to do this one.

Danielle, who gets flustered easily when on her own, was not confident in her navigating skills. She came close to tears as she stumbled through a spider web, before finally stumbling upon her officer in need of rescue.

Charla decided that she should take this task and leave the final Roadblock to Mirna, since this task didn't require height or speed. What she didn't realize was that the task required the ability to just look at the GPS screen, without touching it -- a talent Charla lacked. At least three times, her naval escort told her not to touch the screen. Yet Charla couldn't stop doing it, and each time she did, an error message took over the screen.

Both Danielle and Charla were well on their way to getting themselves lost, by the time Oswald & Danny finally arrived. Oswald set off into the brush for his team, but without any particular enthusiasm.

Oswald made his way to the supposed location of his lost pilot, but he looked all over without finding him. Eventually, he turned around and noticed the man in green standing in the bushes and raising his water bottle in a "cheers" gesture toward him.

When Oswald asked him, "You were right here? All the time?" the officer looked at his uniform and replied dryly, "It's good camouflage."

Danielle found her way to the clearing and was picked up first. She and Eric reached the Pit Stop in second place.

Not long after Danielle was picked up, Charla arrived at the clearing -- a few seconds ahead of Oswald. He'd managed to narrow the gap, but because Oswald & Danny had finished last in the previous leg, they had to finish thirty minutes before Charla & Mirna to avoid being eliminated.

It didn't happen.

Charla & Mirna reached the Pit Stop in third place, and Oswald & Danny showed up several minutes later. They were eliminated, but said they hoped Charla & Mirna would win the race because "those ladies are a class act."

Charla & Mirna made a very smart move by saving the finale's Roadblock for Mirna. Conversely, Eric will be forced to sit idly by, hoping that Danielle doesn't suffer another Roadblock meltdown, when $1 million is on the line.

Dustin & Kandice seem to be in the best position to win, since they've avoided silly mistakes in the last few legs and have been exceedingly kind to, and supportive of, one another. But, in a preview for next week's finale, Kandice gets mad at Dustin. Will that spell doom for the Beauty Queens?

I'm pulling for Dustin & Kandice to win. I always find them entertaining, and it's a pleasure to watch two friends enjoy every leg and act friendly to each other. It's how I'd wish I could act, were I on the race -- as opposed to the bickering that Charla & Mirna and Eric & Danielle fall prey to, so often. I hope the Queens' fight in the finale isn't as big a deal as the preview would have us believe.

Survivor Fiji: Episode 11

Alex is definitely not the criminal mastermind he thinks he is. But he's at least smart enough to save himself.

After the trampling of the Four Horsemen at the previous Tribal Council, Dreamz tried to convince his former allies -- Mookie and Alex -- that he'd been in the dark about the other alliance's plans and hadn't sold out the Horsemen.

But that still didn't explain why he'd cast his vote for Mookie.

The day after Tribal Council, the castaways were split into two temporary teams for the Reward Challenge. One member of each team used a slingshot to launch a ball into a muddy field, and the other members of the team tried to catch it in something like a wicker lacrosse stick. Any ball caught counted as a point for the catcher's team, no matter which team launched the ball.

Yau-Man aimed his slingshot for Mookie, Cassandra, and Boo, while Stacy fired for Earl, Alex, and Dreamz. Things got a little scary when Boo went down with a knee injury and had to be examined by the show's medics. But Boo simply stood up, popped his ligament back into place with an audible "Pop!" and went on with the game.

The players got dirty, and not just because of the mud. Cassandra tripped Alex and put Earl in a choke hold. Her tactics didn't help, ultimately, and Earl's team went on to win the challenge.

Their reward: a hot shower, a good meal, and an overnight stay at a spa. They also sent Boo to Exile Island, since he'd spent the entire first half of the game living at the nice camp.

Alex used the spa opportunity to try and ingratiate himself with Earl, Stacy, and Dreamz, but there was no way he was getting into the alliance.

Once the group returned to camp, Mookie and Alex decided they needed to do something to save themselves. Mookie had been talking with Dreamz, and they'd realized that, since Yau-Man was rarely away from camp, he was the most likely to have found the other Hidden Immunity Idol.

Yau-Man left with a small group to go fishing, leaving his bag at camp unattended. Mookie, with Alex keeping watch, riffled through Yau-Man's stuff and found the Idol in Yau-Man's pants pocket. He showed the Idol to Alex and shoved it back into the bag.

The two criminal masterminds traipsed off into the woods, where they excitedly discussed what they should do with their illicitly-gained knowledge. They decided to put Yau-Man on the spot at Tribal Council and force him to show everyone the contents of his pockets.

Once the others discovered that Yau-Man had been keeping that information from them, the alliance would fracture, brother would turn against brother, and Yau-Man would be clubbed to death by his alliance-mates like a baby seal. Finally, after over a dozen seasons of Survivor, someone had come up with the perfect plan!

And even if it didn't work, Alex reasoned, they'd be "going out in a blaze of glory. Scarface style."

That's when a twig snapped behind them. Stacy and Cassandra had been hiding a short distance away, trying to eavesdrop on the whole conversation. Alex turned to Mookie and muttered, "We're screwed."

They ran back to camp, hoping to get to Yau-Man before Cassandra and Stacy did. They found him walking along the beach, where they tried to strongarm him: "We know that you have the Idol. Now, do you want to tell the group yourself, or do you want us to do it?"

After admitting that they'd gone through his belongings, Alex and Mookie kept up their tough-guy posturing, as if they expected Yau-Man to cry, panic, beg them not to tell, or offer to go home immediately. Instead, Yau-Man calmly said, "You guys do what you need to do."

Yau-Man knew that he wasn't in any danger, but figured it was best to tell his voting block about the incident. He explained that Alex and Mookie had gone through his belongings, found his Immunity Idol, and threatened him with the information.

Stacy, Cassandra, and Dreamz all but ignored the revelation about having the Idol -- instead becoming incensed that the Mookie and Alex had gone through Yau-Man's personal stuff and then tried to bully him.

Later that day, all of the castaways took part in an individual Immunity Challenge -- a strategy game akin to the board game Battleship. Each contestant secretly chose three consecutive (horizontally, vertically, or diagonally) squares on a grid.

One at a time, each contestant chose one square on the grid to "bomb." Once all three of a contestant's squares had been bombed, he or she was out of the game.

Dreamz and Cassandra got the game off to an auspicious start by forgetting which squares they'd chosen for themselves. Each bombed one of their own squares.

After that, everyone wound up playing a pretty solid game, and Stacy, by eliminating Alex and Yau-Man in a single move, won Immunity.

When the castaways got back to camp, Boo got all worked up because the clue he'd found on Exile Island implied that the re-buried second Hidden Immunity Idol was easy to find. He became convinced that Alex or Mookie might have found it, and for some reason, Cassandra and Stacy agreed.

Without a single clue between them, Alex and Mookie weren't even looking for the Idol. Earl and Yau-Man suspected as much, but wisely kept quiet, so as not to seem argumentative.

The group ultimately decided to split its votes between Alex and Mookie. Once Jeff Probst announced the 3-3 tie (plus Alex's and Mookie's votes), the group would revote and choose Alex.

Only Alex had ideas of his own. He and Mookie had made a big to-do about "going down swinging" and causing havoc at Tribal Council. But in the end, they weren't able to make much of a stink. Mookie cast a throwaway vote for Boo, and Alex cast the deciding vote against Mookie.

Mookie was "relieved" to be out of the game, and only regretted that he wasn't going to be at camp to "make everyone's lives miserable."

Next week, Alex adopts a "ninja" strategy to gather what information he can, and Boo won't stop talking.

DwtS 4, Week 6: Results Show

Heather came to the Results Show prepared for bad news. She'd tucked a written copy of her farewell speech into her Paso Doble top.

After a recap of last night's performances, Len diplomatically awarded the encore to the group for their Swing number. All of the lifts were still good, although Edyta did accidentally kick John in the back of the head.

Joss Stone provided the first musical performance of the night, and she was accompanied by Tony, Elena, Julianne, and Julianne's brother, Derek. He did some fast spins, and Tony tossed him into a back flip. If ABC's smart, they'll add Derek Hough to the cast next season.

The performance was followed by comments from last night's studio audience. Former 'N Sync-er JC Chasez liked the lifts in the Group Swing, especially Joey's "Robot Voltron" move at the end.

Gabrielle Carteris (Andrea Zuckerman on Beverly Hills, 90210) made an excellent point when she said, "Ian did in the Group Swing what the judges want to see him do in his own dances."

George Wendt knew that John would win over the audience: "He's always been a really fun dancer. At least, I enjoy dancing with him."

Then, Apolo & Julianne and Laila & Maks were announced as the first two couples saved by their fans' votes. Laila joked that she could have made the competition a little easier for herself if she would've dropped Apolo during the Group Swing.

Members of the cast of the movie Dreamgirls performed a number from the film. It was a strange, lip-synced performance that looked a little like karaoke with fancy choreography. Since Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson were nowhere to be seen, I didn't give the performance my full attention.

Joss Stone returned to perform another song from her new album -- but this time, with no dancers. It gave me a chance to check on the score of the Chicago Bulls NBA playoff game versus the Miami Heat. (The Bulls won.)

A package of video clips showed the various ways in which relentless practicing is starting to drive the celebrities a little crazy. Joey got distracted by everything, and Billy Ray did anything but dance. Heather giggled throughout rehearsal, while John showed Edyta bad magic tricks. Apolo and Laila acted silly, and Ian tried to eat a bug.

Apparently, there's a limit to how many new dance steps the human mind can learn in a week.

Tom & Samantha returned after the video package to announce the next safe couple: Joey & Kym. They also revealed that the first couple in the Bottom Two was John & Edyta. When his name was called, John muttered, "oopsy-daisy."

The announcement was followed by a second set of clips, this time chronicling how the celebrities prepare themselves mentally on the day of the Performance Show. Joey pesters Kym. John reads. Billy Ray plays guitar. Apolo jumps rope. Laila practices her steps. Ian finds his dad in the audience and kisses him on the cheek, and Heather kisses the lucky penny her daughter gave her.

Finally, Tom and Samantha announced the fates of the remaining couples. Ian & Cheryl and Billy Ray & Karina would be moving on, while Heather & Jonathan joined John & Edyta in the Bottom Two.

Heather & Jonathan's names were announced as the couple going home, and everyone -- from the dancers (especially Edyta) to the judges -- looked sad. But Heather got Tom laughing when she pulled a written copy of a speech from her top.

Heather said that what felt the worst was that Jonathan wouldn't have a regular salary any longer, but she promised to find him some "great work." She went on to thank all of the members of the production staff, from hair and makeup to the orchestra -- many of them by name.

What mattered most to Heather was that she and Jonathan have been able to raise thousands of dollars for charity by appearing on the show. She donated her entire DwtS salary to Viva! (Vegetarians International Voice for Animals).

It was a very classy departure, and it was good of ABC to let Heather finish her thoughts, rather than rush her onto the dance floor. She and Jonathan danced their final dance to the song "When Will I See You Again."

Next week, the six remaining couples each have to learn two individual dances. If they thought the Group Swing was a lot of work, then this should be totally overwhelming for some of the busier celebs. I'm looking at you, Billy Ray.

DwtS 4, Week 6: Performance Show

Joey Fatone & Kym Johnson -- Samba
Song: Erasure, "A Little Respect"

After Judge Len Goodman called him "feminine" last week, Joey wanted to make sure he looked extra manly this week. Kym brought in the manliest guy she knows -- Jerry Springer -- to inspire Joey. Jerry's motivational technique? Taking off his shirt and flexing his muscles.

Dancing to a Samba-fied version of the song, Joey displayed his manliness with a number of pelvic thrusts. Joey & Kym are really finding a nice balance in their performances, creating routines that are fun without being silly. This performance was very enjoyable.

Len told Joey, "You're a beauty," and called him "swashbuckling," despite his "hoppy" voltas. Bruno said,"You went for it like a randy fighting cockerel," whatever that means. Carrie Ann said, "You're insane, and that reads so well."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...9 = 27/30

Heather Mills & Jonathan Roberts -- Paso Doble
Song: Andrew Lloyd Webber, "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina"

Heather & Jonathan have to commute to and from England, now that Heather's daughter is back in school, forcing them to miss rehearsal for the Group Swing routine. To avoid jet lag, they practiced on L.A. time, which meant practicing in their London studio at 1 a.m.

The Paso-remixed version of this song wasn't great, and Heather's dramatic lipsyncing was a little silly. Heather must not have heeded Carrie Ann's advice to take ballet lessons, because her upper body was still weak, making her moves look unfinished.

Bruno, in the show's first reference to Heather's tabloid troubles, said, "It was so dramatic. And I know you know a thing or two about drama." Carrie Ann told Heather, "I'm still missing something here from you," pointing to her shoulders. Len said, "I loved the opening. I thought you had great passion and fire."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...7, Len...8, Bruno...8 = 23/30

John Ratzenberger & Edyta Sliwinska -- Mambo

In practice, John said he was proud to have lasted this long: "It's nice to rise to Edyta's challenge. She's not giving me easy steps." Edyta promised, "Our Mambo is gonna be... Mambolicious."

For a guy who's a bit top-heavy, John is surprisingly light on his feet. It may not have been a technically perfect routine, but it was nice to see him smiling at Edyta as they danced. It was my favorite performance from him yet, and John's former Cheers castmate George Wendt was in the audience enjoying it, too.

Carrie Ann was complimentary, if a bit dismissive: "It was cute. You look a little like a little dancing teddy bear." Len appreciated that John's finally having a good time, but said, "The actual routine was awful. He waddled out like a ruptured duck." Bruno told John,"You've been a great sport, but it was really like the owl and the pussycat tonight."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...7, Len...6, Bruno...6 = 19/30

Laila Ali & Maksim Chmerkovskiy -- Cha Cha Cha
Song: Sam & Dave, "Hold On! I'm Comin'"

While they were creating this week's routine, Maks was going for "cheeky," while Laila wanted something "funky." She said she's done doing only what Maks wants, and she insisted on taking a more active role in the choreography.

They performed a fun Cha Cha with a funky breakdown at the end, including Laila's favorite move, "The Butterfly." Laila's contributions worked well enough, and her personality really came through in the dance. It was a step in the right direction.

Len said, "That was pure gold. Your bit at the end there that you choreographed wasn't really my cup of tea. I didn't want the funk part." Bruno was much more enthusiastic: "You are turning into a magnificent obsession. It was a little Tina Turner going there at the end." Carrie Ann said, "I thought that was fantastic," and reminded Laila, "Eyes up when you dance."

Samantha Harris interviewed the couple backstage while waiting for the judges to prepare their scores. Evidently, someone in production fed Samantha the scores too early, and she announced Laila's score before the judges did. She quickly sent it out to the floor, where the judges just smiled and held up their paddles.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...10 = 28/30

Billy Ray Cyrus & Karina Smirnoff -- Jive

In response to harsh criticism from the judges last week, Karina gave up trying to make Billy Ray into a good dancer: "This week, I don't want Billy Ray to worry about technique or doing it properly. I just want him to have fun and enjoy himself."

So she let him do some of his own choreography. "That's funny. Let's do that!" he shouted as he did some hip-thrusting-while-hopping maneuver. Karina admitted, "It's hard for me to accept that I've made peace with the fact that our Jive is not going to score 10s this week for technique."

The result was hideous. The routine was supposed to be fun, but came off as foolish. Moves that were supposed to be cheeky became overtly sexual. At one point, Karina flipped upside down, and Billy Ray spread her legs and looked right at her crotch. If they wanted to look like they don't care anymore, then they succeeded.

The judges were more forgiving than I was. Bruno said, "The crazy bear has been let loose at a cheerleading convention tonight." Carrie Ann joked, "If you can't get the steps, make up your own dance." Len told Billy Ray, "Whatever you lack in dance ability, it is always entertaining, and I love to watch you."

After receiving their scores, Billy Ray said, "I want an 8 so I can go home." That's a winning attitude.

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...7, Len...7, Bruno...7 = 21/30

Apolo Anton Ohno & Julianne Hough -- Rumba

Because of Apolo & Julianne's oft mentioned brother-sister relationship, he was having trouble taking such a sexy dance seriously. So Julianne brought in her brother and fellow dancer, Derek, who talked about having had to perform a romantic Rumba with Julianne himself. Apolo may have felt better after a Derek's pep talk, but I sure didn't. I was so creeped out, I almost refused to talk to my own brother when he called tonight.

Apolo began the performance seated in a chair (a move that doomed Tucker Carlson), but he and Julianne managed to incorporate the chair throughout the routine. It was probably the best example of prop integration ever on DwtS. Julianne never cheats on the choreography, and Apolo is always able to execute.

Carrie Ann said, "I thought that was beautiful. The choreography was fantastic." Len didn't like how much they relied on the chair, but Julianne explained, "We didn't want to just use the chair in the beginning and just leave it there." Bruno said, "That was a choreographed poem to me," while Len continued his protest: "It was theatrical. This is a ballroom. It's not a theater."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...9, Bruno...10 = 28/30

(When the camera returned to the dance floor, Tom delivered his next intro while reclining in the chair.)

Ian Ziering & Cheryl Burke -- Paso Doble
Song: Jennifer Lopez, "Waiting For Tonight"

Ian was excited about the Paso because he "finally had a character to play with." Cheryl told him, "I want a bull fighter, not Beverly Hills." The 90210-alum Ian grumbled, "Oh, you didn't do that!"

From now on, Cheryl needs create a story for each dance, because Ian seemed more confident in character. Overall, I really like Ian's dancing, and he was a little looser tonight. But something's missing in his connection with Cheryl. I worry that Ian's self-consciousness is getting in the way of their on-floor partnership.

Len said, "I was a little bit disappointed. It lacked drama. I didn't like your posture. I didn't like your arms." Bruno agreed: "There's still an element I'm not getting. I'm getting very frustrated" Carrie Ann told Ian, "You have what it takes to do really, really well in this competition... [But] you're lacking a sense of joy and a sense of truth when you dance" She suggested Ian take his cues on how to dance with joy from...Billy Ray?

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...8, Bruno...8 = 24/30

Group Swing
Song: Stray Cats, "Rock This Town"

DwtS Tour Pros Christian Perry and Annette Nicole instructed the couples in rehearsal. When Christian asked which of the guys was the strongest, Laila raised her hand. The couples practiced their lifts and leaps with only a few minor injuries -- mostly to Ian.

The performance was good, but the camera work made it hard to get a sense of what the dance looked like as a whole. There were lots of close ups of the couples' faces, but few of their feet. There were plenty of tricks, but the highlight had to be Laila lifting Apolo and spinning with him in her arms -- all while she wore high heels.

The group Swing wasn't scored by the judges, but they all said they liked it.

Leaderboard:
28 -- Laila & Maks, Apolo & Julianne
27 -- Joey & Kym
24 -- Ian & Cheryl
23 -- Heather & Jonathan
21 -- Billy Ray & Karina
19 -- John & Edyta

This week, I split my votes between the two top couples: Laila & Maks and Apolo & Julianne. And I predict that Heather & Jonathan will be back in the Bottom Two, along with John & Edyta.

Apprentice L.A.: Finale

Trump hired Stefani as his latest Apprentice largely because she was easy to get along with. Based on her competition, that's pretty high marks.

But Stefani wasn't the candidate most people were talking about in the days leading up to the finale. Kristine got naked for Playboy, and she will be the magazine's cover girl for June.

Most of the live Apprentice: L.A. finale comprised cast introductions and recap footage. I'm sure the crowd at the open-air Hollywood Bowl appreciated that -- especially once it started to rain, halfway through the program.

Frank and Nicole, neither of whom stood any chance of being hired, had to sit on stage for more than 30 minutes before they were both fired -- Frank for being stupid enough to ask his arch enemy, Surya, to help with the final task, and Nicole for being distracted by her in-show romance with Tim.

Nobody pointed out that Trump didn't seem to have a problem when last season's winner, Sean, got involved with a fellow cast member.

Stefani and James were asked to say nice things about each other before Trump asked them, "Well, then why don't I just hire him [or her]?" Stefani was quick to answer that Trump should hire her, and then she could hire James as her employee.

Then Trump introduced footage of Stefani and her "beautiful family." Apparently, she's very close with a construction foreman she works with, as well as her karate instructor, because nobody else was featured in her video. That was followed by footage of James' home life, which he shares with his wife and two cute daughters.

Trump traditionally asks the fired candidates for their opinion on who he should hire, and cast members have made passionate pleas on behalf of their favorites in seasons past. Not this time.

Angela, Trump's favorite Olympian, wouldn't answer the question. Frank told Trump, "You're on your own." And Surya suggested Trump hire Sanjaya, since he was now available. Only Heidi (who supported Stefani) and Aaron (James) chose sides at all.

When it came time to hire someone and put the drenched live audience out of its misery, Trump told Stefani that, even though she'd never volunteered to serve as Project Manager, she'd at least been able to get along with everyone.

Then he turned to James and cryptically told him, "there were certain things and certain dialogue that you gave during the course -- and you know what I'm talking about -- and that bothered me very much."

Trump then fired James. It would've been nice if he'd used something that took place in an episode as a pretext for firing James, instead of some off-camera occurrence that viewers never got to see. In a post-show interview with Buddy TV, even Stefani didn't know what Trump was referring to.

Trump hired Stefani. She'll be working on the construction of a new Trump resort in the Caribbean -- and no doubt appearing on the next season of The Apprentice. That's assuming that NBC brings this sinking ship back.

TAR All Stars: Episode 10

Sometimes karmic retribution comes disguised as a lousy cab driver.

Teams left Hong Kong via the Turbo Jet Ferry to the city of Macau on mainland China. There, they needed to find the tallest structure in Macau: Macau Tower (which resembles Seattle's Space Needle / Auckland's Sky Tower / Toronto's CN Tower).

The building didn't open until 10 a.m., and the first three teams -- Oswald & Danny, Dustin & Kandice, and Charla & Mirna -- all arrived ahead of time.

Ozzy & Danny were broke by the end of the last leg, and were only given $75 to complete this one. By the time they'd paid for ferry tickets and a taxi to the tower, they were already down to $16. The guys decided that prostituting themselves was probably forbidden on the race.

The clue warned that there was a Yield ahead, so Oswald & Danny decided to use their first place position to earn some cash from one of the other teams. When The Beauty Queens arrived at the tower, Ozzy & Danny said they'd Yield a team of the Beauty Queens' choosing in exchange for cash.

The Queens, who had about $200, reasoned that it was a wise investment if it meant that someone else got Yielded besides them. They gave Ozzy & Danny $45 and told them to Yield Eric & Danielle, whom they believed to be better racers than Charla & Mirna.

Ozzy & Danny took the money, but Ozzy was immediately wracked with guilt. When Charla & Mirna arrived, he told them what he and Danny had done. Charla & Mirna said they would've given the Cha Cha Chas money without requiring them to Yield anyone.

Mirna was disappointed in Ozzy & Danny, but managed to let her hatred of the Beauty Queens warp the details of the transaction when she discussed it later with Charla. Mirna was certain that Dustin & Kandice had somehow tricked or forced the guys to use the Yield against their will.

At 10, the lead teams were let into the building, where they had to wait another hour before they could ride an elevator to the Observation Deck. There, Ozzy & Danny Yielded Eric & Danielle, as promised.

The Observation Deck was setting for this leg's Roadblock. One team member had to walk around the Observation Deck's outer rim before getting in a harness and jumping 61 stories to the ground below. Obviously, it was not a task for anyone squeamish about heights.

As Dustin, Danny, and Charla were taking the plunge, Eric & Danielle arrived. They'd been sure that they wouldn't be Yielded for a second time, and unleashed a string of expletives about Ozzy & Danny when they saw their pictures on the Yield sign.

Eric tore the photograph of Ozzy & Danny off the Yield sign and stuck it to the seat of his pants, where it remained until the end of the episode. When their waiting period was up, Eric suited up and jumped off the building.

Meanwhile, the other teams were on their way to the beautiful Lou Lim Ioc Garden, where a Detour clue awaited them.

Teams had to choose between Dragon and Noodle. In Noodle, teams had to make two bundles of noodles in a traditional method, which involved flattening the dough with a long bamboo pole and slicing the noodles very thin.

In Dragon, teams grabbed a wooden drum and dragon head and carried them on foot almost one mile to the nearby harbor. There, they attached their dragon head to the prow of a rowboat and handed the drum off to the coxswain (I'm brushing up on my sailing terms in preparation for Pirate Master. Argh!).

Ozzy & Danny got to the garden first and decided to do the Dragon task. Their driver misread the clue and took them straight to the harbor, instead of the warehouse where the drum and dragon head were waiting.

As the driver turned around and drove them to the warehouse, Oswald muttered from the backseat, "God, grant me the patience to withstand the things I cannot change... and the intelligence to hide the body of this man once I'm done killing him."

Danny was certain he'd memorized the route the driver had taken from the harbor, so he led Ozzy through the streets of Macau with their trinkets. Only Danny's sense of direction wasn't that good, and none of the residents they asked seemed to know that Macau had a harbor.

Meanwhile, Dustin & Kandice headed to the noodle shop, followed by Mirna & Charla and, eventually, Eric & Danielle. Dustin & Kandice watched a noodle-making demo, in which one person straddled the horizontal bamboo pole and hopped up and down. Another person fed the dough under the pole as it was flattened. The whole thing worked like a giant primitive pasta machine, only more erotic.

Lanky Kandice hopped on the pole as Dustin fed the dough and chanted, "Ride the pony." They sliced their first batch of noodles too thick for the noodle-maker's taste, and then had to start over from the beginning.

While they worked on their second batch, Charla & Mirna arrived. Mirna was obviously too short to work the pole, and she was even too short to reach the table. She had to stand on top of the table to help feed the dough, as Mirna struggled with the bamboo pole.

The cousins cut their first batch of noodles too thick as well, per Charla's instructions, and they had to start over as well. Dustin & Kandice successfully sliced their noodles and left to find the next clue, just as Eric & Danielle arrived.

Eric & Danielle were the only team to get the noodles right on the first try and were able to finish before Charla & Mirna. Their clue told them to travel by taxi to find some Mini Mokes, which are small cars with no doors.

Dustin & Kandice were first to the vehicles, and they chose a pink "Barbie car." The clue on the windshield instructed them to drive themselves five miles to the island of Taipa.

The Beauty Queens found a guy on a motorbike to guide them to the Island, and they reached the Pit Stop in first place. For their victory, they won a pair of WaveRunners.

Eric & Danielle paid their cabbie to lead them to Taipa, and they reached the Pit Stop in second place. However, they weren't able to check in, as they'd been "Marked for Elimination" for finishing last in the previous leg. They had to serve a 30 minute penalty for failing to arrive first.

As Eric & Danielle paced and prayed not to be eliminated, Dustin & Kandice explained to them why Ozzy & Danny Yielded them -- and the Queens' own responsibility in making it happen. Eric appreciated the explanation but promised retribution if he and Danielle survived to the next leg.

Charla & Mirna finished the noodle task not long after Eric & Danielle. But Mirna is probably the worst driver in Amazing Race history, and this task was no exception. She ran the car onto a curb and stopped traffic for several minutes, before some helpful pedestrians pushed her car to the side of the road.

The cousins hired a cabbie to lead them to the island, and, miraculously, Mirna was able to keep up with him. Eric & Danielle were only halfway through their penalty time when the cousins arrived at the Pit Stop. Charla & Mirna were awarded second place.

After turning in their dragon head and drum, Ozzy & Danny hopped in their Mini Moke. They also followed a cab driver to Taipa Island -- the same cab driver who'd taken them to the harbor out of sequence on the earlier clue.

It should've been no surprise, then, when the cabbie drove them to the wrong side of the island and told them they should just walk to the Pit Stop. They finally got him to lead them to the right side of the island, but not before Eric & Danielle had already been awarded third place after their penalty had been served.

Ozzy & Danny reached the mat in last place, but were saved by another non-elimination leg. They'll be Marked for Elimination on the next leg.

Next week, Danielle freaks out during a Roadblock.

Survivor: Fiji -- Episode 10

I don't want to dissuade you from reading this recap, but this episode was so good -- chock full of hubris, chaos, strategy, con-artistry, and comeuppance -- I highly recommend that even the most casual Survivor fan go to the CBS website and watch the episode in its entirety, first. Look for the "Watch Full Episodes Free" link on the left side of the CBS homepage.

It's hard to believe that one of the best strategic episodes in Survivor history hinged almost entirely upon the actions of (previous non-factors) Cassandra, Dreamz, and Stacy.

Michelle's ouster at the last Tribal Council ruined all of Earl's plans. With nine players left in the game, he was now faced with securing the loyalty of at least one or two other players to augment the alliance he had with Cassandra and Yau-Man. The perfect opportunity arose when Cassandra won the Reward Challenge.

The challenge was one of those delightfully evil Survivor quizzes in which each player fills out a questionnaire about the other contestants (e.g., "Which contestant would you not invite to your parents' home for dinner?"). After the questionnaires are turned in, the Survivors try to guess what the consensus answers were among the group. The most famous of those quizzes occurred during Survivor: Exile Island, when fire-dancer Courtney learned, to her surprise, that her fellow castaways thought she was a total poser.

This time, Stacy was the tribe's whipping girl. Not only was she the first one eliminated from the challenge, but she learned that her tribemates felt she'd wasted her opportunities on Survivor, and that she was the one contestant nobody wanted to see once the game is over.

Alex also took a beating. The others let him know he had a sense of entitlement, and that he was the answer to the question, "Who mistakenly believes they are in control of this game?" (Remember that.)

Cassandra answered every question right and won the chance to spend a night on a luxury yacht with three friends. One of those friends was not Mookie, whom she immediately sent to Exile Island. Mookie later vowed that sending him to Exile Island would be "the worst mistake of her life."

Seizing upon the opportunity to win people over to her alliance, Cassandra picked free agents Dreamz and Boo to join her on the yacht. The third spot went to her comrade, Yau-Man. Boo agreed to Cassandra's alliance as soon as he received his first margarita.

Yau-Man's method for assuring Dreamz's loyalty was a little more methodical than friendly persuasion: "Feed him. Get him away from everybody. Just brainwash him, basically."

But even as Dreamz agreed to target Alex in the next vote, Cassandra could tell from the look in Dreamz's eyes that he was still waffling. The morning after they returned to camp, Earl caught Dreamz having a strategy session with Alex.

Cassandra and Earl talked with Dreamz about the doubts they still had about him, and in an attempt to appease them, Dreamz blurted out that Mookie possessed one of the hidden Immunity Idols. Rather than reassuring Earl, the confession proved that Dreamz was a loose cannon -- one who might be useful, but was ultimately unreliable.

Before any more strategy sessions could take place, it was time for the Immunity Challenge. It was strictly an individual challenge, with none of the temporary teams of last week. Contestants had to support themselves inside a structure that resembled a door frame, standing on two small wooden strips.

Every thirty minutes, contestants had to move down to an even smaller set of wooden strips. The challenge was designed for someone small and light, and there's no one on the island smaller and lighter than Yau-Man. He won yet another Immunity Challenge, giving his alliance reason to hope.

After the challenge, the "Four Horsemen" (Alex, Edgardo, Mookie, and Dreamz) figured that Earl had found the other Hidden Immunity Idol, because he'd been to Exile Island more than anyone else, and had thus received the most clues about the idol's whereabouts. (In truth, Yau-Man had the Idol, though he might share it with Earl, if necessary.)

They decided to vote Earl out immediately, hoping to surprise him before he had a chance to play the Immunity Idol. Alex was sure that Stacy would join them, giving them the five votes needed for a majority.

But, at the same time, Yau-Man was alone at camp with Stacy, who wasn't so keen on being the honorary Fifth Horseman. Yau-Man hinted that if she agreed to vote for "anybody but Earl," he would make sure that Stacy received no votes, herself. He then said that if she voted for Alex, she would not be alone. She agreed to vote for Alex "to save myself."

When Alex got around to filling Stacy in on their plan to vote for Earl, she'd feigned heat sickness as a way to avoid giving her consent. Being unable to discern such a cryptic sign himself, Alex talked to Edgardo, who (correctly) said, "That means that she's not in, dude."

It was time for Plan B. Edgardo got Dreamz to admit that the other side was planning on voting for Alex. The Horsemen decided that, if Alex had Mookie's Hidden Immunity Idol, he would play it at Tribal Council. That would make Alex safe, even should he receive five votes. And the person with the second-most votes -- Earl -- would be sent home.

Mookie reluctantly agreed to give up the idol, and he covertly passed it to Alex. Not so covertly, however, that Dreamz didn't see it.

Eager to please absolutely everyone on the island, Dreamz ran right back to Earl's group and told them that Alex had the Idol. The group decided that they could catch the Four Horsemen off guard if they all voted for Mookie, instead.

Dreamz agreed, but it wasn't long before he was approached by the other three Horsemen, who had a new plan. They'd decided to vote for Cassandra instead of Earl, just in case Earl played his own Idol.

There was no way that Dreamz would vote for his pal Cassandra, but he played along anyway. He kept a straight face as he assured the Horsemen that the other side didn't know about the Idol and would still be voting for Alex. He managed not to laugh as Alex -- still incorrectly thinking he was in control of the game, even after the Reward Challenge -- bragged, "This is brilliant!"

But the truly brilliant move belonged to Stacy. She, Yau-Man, Earl, Cassandra, and Boo were also discussing strategy, in the tribe's cave. There was some uncertainty regarding whether Dreamz would (accidentally or not) reveal their latest plan to vote out Mookie.

Stacy made the issue moot when she suggested, "If they think we're voting between Mookie and Alex, why don't we vote off Edgardo?"

Boo agreed, "That'd come out of nowhere."

To ensure their surprise strategy's success, there was only one thing they needed to do: not tell Dreamz.

At Tribal Council, Mookie, Alex, and Edgardo went ahead and voted for Cassandra, and Dreamz voted for Mookie. Once all of the votes were cast, Jeff Probst asked if anyone had an Immunity Idol they'd like to use.

Alex calmly stood up and handed the Idol to Jeff. He sat down with a smug expression, as Earl and Yau-Man faked impressed looks to convey the sentiment, "Well played, old chap."

Alex, Earl, and Edgardo grinned as the first three votes were read: Cassandra, Cassandra, Cassandra.

Mookie managed a curious, if not worried, expression as Jeff displayed the fourth vote: "Mookie." Dreamz was confident that the remaining votes would read "Mookie" as well, while the other Horsemen were certain the rest of the votes were for Alex.

If you've ever imagined what the faces of the Mudville fans looked like when the mighty Casey struck out in the poem "Casey at the Bat," they looked exactly like Edgardo, Alex, and Mookie as Jeff displayed the next five votes -- all for Edgardo.

The Horsemen's brilliant plan had been crushed, and they'd lost their lone bargaining chip in the process. On top of that, Dreamz was clearly no longer on their side. In one flawless move, Earl's alliance had reduced the Four Horsemen to Two.

Edgardo, in his post-elimination video, was disappointed, and blamed his ouster primarily on Dreamz. But he smiled and shrugged as he announced a farewell wish for one of the castaways: "Cassandra, I hope that you get voted off next because I don't like you very much."

Next time, Mookie and Alex take Dreamz to task for flipping on the them. But when they root through Yau-Man's belongings and find the hidden Immunity Idol, Mookie and Alex develop a new plan that is absolutely foolproof. Seriously, this one is. There's nothing that could go wrong. I swear. Idiots.

DwtS 4, Week 5: Results Show

At least one of the celebrities had prepared to go home on this week's Dancing with the Stars Results Show. Clyde was more than ready to trade in his dance shoes for golf spikes. However, the other celeb in the Bottom Two was a bit of a surprise.

After a recap of last night's performances, the judges asked Apolo & Julianne for an encore of their 30-point Samba. Comedian Kathy Griffin was seated floorside -- trying to persuade the producers to appear on Season 5, I hope.

Next week, the couples will be dancing a group Swing routine, and, to demonstrate, dancers from the DwtS tour performed to the song "Zoot Suit Riot." The group included Edyta, Cheryl, Julianne, Alec, and Brian, as well as Louis van Amstel, tour pro Annette Nicole, and Christian Perry (the pro from last season's Slim-Fast Challenge).

As the dancers caught their breath, Samantha Harris caught up with some of the celebrities, backstage. She asked Heather how she recovered from her fall at the end of last night's routine. Heather replied matter-of-factly, "Just jump up."

During a segment featuring comments from last night's audience, Lance Bass mentioned how impressed he was by Heather's recovery: "She handled it very well." Retired boxer Sugar Ray Leonard was pulling for fellow boxer Laila.

And Florence Henderson has set her sites on a younger man: "I thought that little Apolo... he's one hot little number, isn't he?" Yes, and I'm sure he appreciates being called "little," twice -- by Mrs. Brady, no less.

After that, the first two safe couples were announced. Laila & Maks were almost a given, but even John & Edyta were surprised when their own names were called. Edyta gasped and covered her mouth with her hands before embracing a very smiley John.

Samantha asked John if having fun on the dance floor helped them in the voting, and he replied, "That, and the baby boom." Laila was confident that she and Maksim could earn a perfect score from the judges. Maks revealed his long term plan: "We'll take it one 10 at a time."

The next performance of the night came from Season 2 contestant Lisa Rinna, who's starring in a new Broadway production of the popular musical, Chicago. She danced with a group of male dancers, and she sang as well -- although I think the vocals were prerecorded.

Macy Gray was up next, performing her new song "Finally Made Me Happy." She wasn't accompanied by any dancers, but she did have a sparkly microphone stand.

The performance was followed by a day in the life of the show's makeup artists and hair stylists. Just like the costume designers, they have to design new looks for each performance. On show days, the female stars and dancers have to arrive at 8 a.m., and each of them spends at least three hours having hair done and makeup applied.

The men don't spend nearly as long in the chair, but they all do wear makeup. Clyde has it easiest of all: "My hair takes about a minute... My makeup doesn't take that long. I don't have to do any spray tanning. I'm pretty lucky in that department."

Then, two of the highest-scoring couples, Apolo & Julianne and Joey & Kym, were told they'd be back next week.

Before the fates of the last four couples were announced, the stars were featured in a segment about the judges. Ian said that facing the judges make him feel "like I just ate a bug." Laila prefers the control she has in her day job: "I usually just knock someone out and handle it myself."

When they're not confused by the judges' accents, some of the stars worry that they're going to say something nasty back to the judges. Heather especially likes it when the judges fight amongst themselves. Billy Ray confessed, "I'm secretly longing for an 8. If I get an 8, then I have reached my goal, and I can go home."

Finally, Ian & Cheryl and Billy Ray & Karina were told they'd be back next week, meaning that Clyde & Elena and Heather & Jonathan were in the Bottom Two. Heather held Clyde's hand as they waited for the verdict.

Clyde & Elena were eliminated, but Clyde didn't seem that upset: "I have tee times set up for the next week." He thanked Elena, the fans, and the judges before the couple danced their final dance, to Boyz II Men's "End of the Road."

DwtS 4, Week 5: Performance Show

The judges have stopped playing it safe on Dancing with the Stars 4. There's a big gap between this season's best and worst couples, and tonight, they made sure their scores showed just how big that gap is.

Ian Ziering & Cheryl Burke -- Samba
Ian's still having issues with moves he considers "feminine." First it was his hips, and now it's the shimmy. Frustrated with Ian's complaining, Cheryl walked out of practice, but they were able to "hug it out" and get on with their training.

Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie" was an appropriate song for Ian, as he really threw himself into the routine. But a few minor missteps seemed to distract him. He's still dancing more with his head than with his heart.

Len said, "From week one, you have come up with really competent performances. I want you to get to that next level." Bruno told Ian, "This week, you really went for the hip action -- a bit like a power tool some times." Carrie Ann said, "I thought the shimmy worked for you. But I think you underestimate yourself. You have the tendency to come in and out of your performance a lot."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...8, Bruno...8 = 24/30

Clyde Drexler & Elena Grinenko -- Rumba
Marvin Gaye's ode to world peace, "Mother Mother," was a strange choice for a dance about romantic love. Clyde's mostly stationary dancing only added to the strangeness, and he and Elena ended the routine with an illegal lift. It was as bad as any performance they've given so far. And that's bad.

Bruno said, "It was like a Rumba under an anesthetic. And then, at the end, you do a lift!" Carrie Ann was frank: "You're the worst dancer in the competition, and tonight was really bad." Len was more generous: "I know your footwork wasn't correct, but you came out this time and really tried to show us a proper Rumba."

While awaiting the judges' score, Elena offered an explanation for the illegal move: "It was not supposed to be a lift. It was supposed to be a pose, but due to the length of his legs...I'm sorry."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...4, Len...5, Bruno...4 = 13/30

Heather Mills & Jonathan Roberts -- Samba
In preparation for the sexy Samba, Heather insisted that Jonathan wax his chest. As the technician ripped the hair off, Heather sadistically chanted, "That's for the Jive. That's for the Fox Trot." In tribute to the waxing scene from The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Jonathan cried out, "Carrie Ann Inaba!"

To show off Jonathan's new look, the routine opened with Heather ripping open Jonathan's vest. The Samba was a little slow, but entertaining. The inevitable finally happened when Heather tried to end the routine by lifting her (real) foot to Jonathan's chest. Her prosthesis wobbled a bit, and she fell. When she got to Tom Bergeron's mic, she joked that her foot must have slipped on all the oil on Jonathan's chest.

Carrie Ann said she'd have to deduct a point because of the fall, and recommended that Heather take ballet classes to strengthen her upper half. Len said, "I think you came out and you really sold it." Bruno agreed with Carrie Ann that Heather needed to "polish the top half."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...7, Len...7, Bruno...7 = 21/30

Joey Fatone & Kym Johnson -- Rumba
The Rumba was the first slow dance for Joey & Kym, and Joey was having a little trouble taking it seriously. His buddies Lance Bass and Alfonso Ribeiro showed up for practice and helped Joey channel his normally goofy energy into the performance.

They pulled off the romantic dance and gave a nice performance, like they always do. Joey really commits to all of his moves, and he's been listening to the judges; his butt didn't stick out at all.

Len told Joey, "For me, you were a little bit feminine," at which point Bruno yelled, "Rubbish!" and physically assaulted Len. Bruno said, "That was absolutely strong and soft." Then Tom called on Carrie Ann for the tiebreaker, and she said, "A little feminine." She explained: "You over-performed it. Some of the moves looked like caricatures."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...8, Len...8, Bruno...9 = 25/30

John Ratzenberger & Edyta Sliwinska -- Samba
To help him get in the mood for the Latin party dance, Edyta told John to bring his drums to practice. When he showed up in a kilt -- the uniform of his bagpipers corp -- she was a little surprised: "I didn't know he was the drummer in a Scottish marching band."

Dancing to "Love Is In the Air," (as heard in the movie Strictly Ballroom) John danced with joy and energy -- much more so than Clyde had or Billy Ray would. John also made sure to show off his best asset: Edyta.

Bruno called the performance "one of the best, worst Sambas I've ever seen." Carrie Ann said, "I don't know how long you're gonna last in the competition, but I'm gonna give you this," and gave them a standing ovation. Len said simply, "Well done."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...6, Len...6, Bruno...6 = 18/30

Laila Ali & Maksim Chmerkovskiy -- Rumba
Because the Rumba is such a sexy, romantic dance, Laila brought her fiance, Curtis Conway, to rehearsal, so that he could let Maks and her know if any of the moves were too sexy. Curtis spent the rehearsal acting like a chaperone at a middle school dance, separating Laila & Maks until they were dancing at arm's length.

With this performance, Laila resuscitated her confidence -- in herself and in Maks. She looked sexy, and Maks acted like a true partner. It was the best Rumba of the night.

Carrie Ann called Laila "The Comeback Kid." Len told Laila, "Tonight was your best performance all season." Bruno said, "That was Luscious Laila, back in smoldering form. I think I need a shower."

While they waited for their scores backstage, Maks told Samantha he'd made Laila sign a waiver that said, "No Maks is gonna get hurt in the making of this dance." At that moment, Curtis snuck up behind Maks and grabbed him on the shoulder, and Maks nearly jumped out of the frame. Tom joked with Bruno, "You need a shower, and Maks needs a new pair of pants."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...9, Len...10, Bruno...9 = 28/30

Apolo Anton Ohno & Julianne Hough -- Samba
Julianne doesn't necessarily believe in positive motivational techniques. As they trained for their Samba, she yelled at Apolo, "Be a man!" She also told him to be sexy -- like a tiger.

In keeping with her "sexy tiger" theme, Julianne wore a tiger-print leotard, as they danced to Reel 2 Real's "I Like to Move It." In less capable hands, the song might not have worked. But the band was amazing, and Julianne's choreography was fantastic, making Apolo look great. So far, Julianne is this season's real breakout star.

Len first congratulated the band and the singers, and then told Apolo & Julianne they gave "a great, great show." Bruno said, "You two were possessed tonight." Carrie Ann said one word: "Perfection."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...10, Len...10, Bruno...10 = 30/30

Billy Ray Cyrus & Karina Smirnoff -- Rumba
Even when dancing to the Tina Turner classic, "What's Love Got To Do With It," Billy Ray could not be compelled to move. Worse, even though he was standing still, Karina kept pulling Billy Ray off balance. It was a real step backward after last week.

Bruno reminded Billy Ray that Karina is hot, and explained to him, "You are to respond to the sex appeal." Carrie Ann commended Billy Ray for avoiding heel leads, but said of the dance, "this one didn't make it for me." Len said that, instead of conveying romance, "This was like a couple having a bit of hanky panky in the back of a Chevy."

Billy Ray protested, "I've had some of my most romantic nights in the back of a Chevy," to which Tom replied, "And, clearly, so has Len."

Judges' Scores: Carrie Ann...6, Len...6, Bruno...5 = 17/30

Leaderboard:
30 -- Apolo & Julianne
28 -- Laila & Maksim
25 -- Joey & Kym
24 -- Ian & Cheryl
21 -- Heather & Jonathan
18 -- John & Edyta
17 -- Billy Ray & Karina
13 -- Clyde & Elena

Tonight, I sent a vote to John & Edyta. They weren't the best, but there are two other couples who deserve to go home before they do.

Billy Ray and Clyde might actually appreciate a way out of the competition. Next week, all of the couples will learn a new solo routine and participate in a group Swing routine. Since they keep mentioning their busy schedules, I'm not sure Billy Ray or Clyde will have the time to learn a pair of new dances.

TAR All-Stars: Episode 9

Despite Mirna's pleas, Yield Karma failed to make an appearance this episode.

This leg of The Amazing Race: All-Stars began in the middle of the night, with teams heading to the Kuala Lumpur airport, where they would try to finagle the fastest tickets to Hong Kong. As Mirna & Charla traveled to the airport, Mirna repeatedly talked about the "Yield Karma" Beauty Queens Dustin & Kandice would suffer for having Yielded Eric & Danielle on the previous leg. And Mirna intended to act as karma's agent, dishing out the justice herself.

All four of the teams arrived at the airport before any of the ticket counters were open, and rather than wait in a ticketing queue, Oswald & Danny went straight to airline offices. They managed to talk their way into being placed first on the wait list for the two earliest flights.

While all of the teams waited to learn their wait list fate, Charla & Mirna approached Eric with a pact to eliminate the Beauty Queens before the teams were whittled to three. Of course, Eric agreed. "Whatever it takes," promised Mirna. "No more giggly, bubbly phoniness."

Oswald & Danny were the only team to make the first flight out, and they arrived in Hong Kong at 11:55 a.m. As soon as their seats on that flight were confirmed, they gave the reservation code they had procured for the second flight to Charla & Mirna.

While talking to two agents at the same counter, Charla & Mirna and Dustin & Kandice tried to make their case for being first on the waiting list for the second flight (which arrived at 12:55 p.m.). Oswald & Danny's code was technically first, but Dustin & Kandice's names were actually on the list -- Charla & Mirna's weren't.

Dustin & Kandice won the contest between the agents, even though the victory was short lived. Charla & Mirna made the flight as well.

Eric & Danielle, who'd unsuccessfully tried to exchange some of their foreign cash, were the third team the counter and weren't able to get on the flight. Instead, they were forced to take a flight that arrived at 3:20 p.m.

Oswald & Danny reached the first clue at a dry cleaners, and were thrilled to find a Fast Forward inside. It gave them an easy opportunity to extend their lead.

The Fast Forward was especially good for Oswald & Danny, because of their dire financial situation. Danny had blown all of their cash during the last leg in order to complete a Roadblock, and being able to head straight to the Pit Stop after only one task meant they wouldn't have to waste money traveling by taxi to multiple locations.

Additionally, their Fast Forward task was exceptionally cool. Hong Kong is one of the action movie capitals of the world, so Oswald & Danny had to participate in a high-speed car stunt. After the car skidded to a halt, the would receive their next clue.

What Oswald & Danny didn't know is that, after speeding through an obstacle course, the car would partially flip and skid to a halt on its side, before finally tipping back onto what was left of its tires. Oswald kept his eyes closed for most of the stunt and was more than happy to get out of the now-partially-wrecked car.

Oswald & Danny drove themselves to the Pit Stop at the Hong Kong Jockey Club, spending the last of their money on toll roads along the way. Phil Keoghan informed them that, for finishing in first place, they'd be returning to Hong Kong, celebrating Chinese New Year and staying in one of the city's luxury hotels.

The second plane touched down in Hong Kong at just before 1 p.m., and one of the teams on board spent the rest of the leg beset by such bad decision-making and bad luck that some might consider it karmic retribution. Only the cursed team wasn't the Beauty Queens; it was Charla & Mirna.

The cousins reached the dry cleaners in first place and, correctly assuming that the Fast Forward had already been taken, set out in a cab to complete one of the two Detour options: Kung Fu Fighting or Lost in Translation.

For Kung Fu Fighting, they would have to scale bamboo scaffolding on the side of an 11-story building as martial artists on ropes swung by them, engaged in mock battle.

For Lost in Translation, the cousins were given the name of a street and told to use a photograph of a sign to find a specific store. However, there were hundreds of stores on the same street, all with similar looking signs written only in Chinese characters.

Charla & Mirna first directed their cabbie toward the Kung Fu task, but weren't sure if Charla would be tall enough to complete the task easily. So they turned the cab around and headed toward the shops.

Then they realized that it would be very hard to tell the signs apart, and they had their cab head back toward the Kung Fu task. But their cabbie didn't know where it was, and they had to stop and ask for directions.

By the time the cousins finally reached the 11-story building, Dustin & Kandice had already eluded the flying karate guys and finished the task. The clue atop the building sent the Beauty Queens to the Star Ferry terminal, where they caught a ferry to Hong Kong Island.

On Hong Kong Island, teams needed to take a cab to an abandoned building that once housed the police headquarters. There, one team member completed a kung-fu style Roadblock, kicking down doors and searching rooms for a clue.

Kandice kicked the doors with gusto and found the clue with relative ease. The clue directed teams to drive five miles to Victoria Park, where a popular activity for children is playing with model boats in a pond.

Each team chose a model junk attached to a rope, and had to slowly pull it across the pond without pitching a wooden product placement gnome into the water. Once the boat was safely across, teams found inside it a clue directing them to drive to the Pit Stop.

Dustin & Kandice completed the task with ease and reached the Pit Stop with plenty of daylight to spare.

Charla & Mirna completed the kung-fu climb without incident, and told their waiting cab driver "Star Ferry, Hong Kong Island." Mirna was a little suspicious when the cab passed under a tunnel, but it was only when they were already on the ferry that a fellow passenger confirmed what she'd feared: the cabbie had driven them all the way to Hong Kong Island, and now they were traveling on a ferry from Hong Kong Island -- completely in the wrong direction.

As they made the return trip back to Hong Kong Island, Mirna checked her watch. It was approximately 3:45 p.m., and Eric & Danielle had arrived in Hong Kong nearly thirty minutes before.

When Mirna & Charla reached the Old Police Headquarters, Charla wanted to do the Roadblock: "My legs are strong, and I like to kick things." It took her a while, but she was able to find the clue. Then the cousins hit the road, which is where things usually go wrong for them.

The sky was already turning dark, and it was rush hour in Hong Kong. The cousins drove in a circle before finally finding the park and pulling their boat across the water.

Mirna & Charla followed a cab to the Pit Stop and reached the mat -- without them (or Yield Karma) having done anything all leg to negatively impact the Beauty Queens.

Eric & Danielle completed the same Detour task as everyone else, and Eric kicked down doors for the team. Then they got stuck in rush hour traffic, and an otherwise well-played afternoon in Hong kong fell to pieces.

Eric ignored Danielle's suggestion to hire a cab and follow it, insisting on reading the map himself as he drove. As they passed the same gas station they'd driven by minutes before, Danielle was at her breaking point.

When asked why he wouldn't hire a cab, Eric replied, "It's a pain in the ass." Danielle asked, "This isn't a pain in the ass? Just guessing where we're going?"

Once he was somehow able to convince himself that it was sort of his own idea, Eric hired a cab, and they reached the Pit Stop in last place. Fortunately for them, it was a non-elimination leg. Eric & Danielle need to finish the next leg in first place, or they will incur a thirty minute penalty.

After two trying legs in a row, Eric & Danielle's enthusiasm for the race seemed to be waning. When told they hadn't been eliminated, Eric said, "I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing." When Phil asked if they'd be able to fight their way into the final three, Danielle replied, "I don't know."

It doesn't look as if Eric & Danielle are completely out of the running yet. Next week, it looks like they may form a partnership with Oswald & Danny to Yield one of the other teams. Is there any chance that the team isn't Dustin & Kandice?

DwtS 4, Week 4: Power Rankings

Now that the lesser female celebrities have been eliminated from Dancing with the Stars 4, it's time for the worst of the men to take a beating.

8. John Ratzenberger & Edyta Sliwinska
John's slip into the Bottom Two this week means that he's not connecting with the audience, and Edyta's lackluster choreography isn't helping their cause. I think when John was cast, most people (fairly or not) assumed he would be a funny guy, just because he acted as a comic character on Cheers. It turns out that, while he seems sincere and competitive, John hasn't really been all that entertaining. He may have exceeded expectations as a dancer, but he's fallen short as a comedian. Oddly enough, if the opposite were the case, I bet he'd be in less danger of elimination.

7. Clyde Drexler & Elena Grinenko
I'm still not sure how Clyde stayed out of the Bottom Two, after his wimpy Waltz and lousy attitude, but evidently some fans are still voting for him. I'm not sure how much longer that goodwill will last.

6. Billy Ray Cyrus & Karina Smirnoff
Billy Ray's commitment to the show is admirable, even if his footwork is not. But he's going to have less time to devote to dancing, now that Hannah Montana is filming again. If he lasts long enough to be required to learn two new dances each week, the show is going to become progressively more difficult for him.

5. Heather Mills & Jonathan Roberts
Like Billy Ray, Heather's going to have trouble fitting rehearsal time into her busy schedule; she'll be commuting from London every week for the remainder of the season. She was able to train for her Jive in only nine hours, but learning two dances each week might be too much even for Heather.

4. Laila Ali & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
After Maks's rule-breaking Tango -- and the resultant walloping from the judges -- Laila seems to have lost her confidence. She needs to get it back, before she loses her place as one of the favorites in the competition. Fortunately, I think she's safe for a few weeks, which should be time enough to get back on track.

3. Ian Ziering & Cheryl Burke
Ian's still giving strong performances, so he's moving up in the Power Rankings, if only because others are falling down. If he perfects his technique now, a couple of show-stopping routines in the final weeks could catapult him to the top.

2. Apolo Anton Ohno & Julianne Hough
Apolo & Julianne are sweethearts, and Apolo's a talented dancer. But they haven't been able to surpass Joey & Kym, because Julianne's been playing it safe with her choreography. At some point, they're going to have to go for broke.

1. Joey Fatone & Kym Johnson
Joey & Kym have been doing everything right: catering to both the audience and the judges. And when the judges speak, Joey's listening to them. That's the recipe that won the past two seasons for Cheryl and her partners, and it makes Joey & Kym the favorites for this season. By the end of his run, Joey's going to be one lean, mean, dancing machine.

Survivor Fiji: Episode 9

When the producers of Survivor: Fiji devised their latest twist, I bet they weren't counting on one of the most likable players -- who wasn't even a target beforehand -- being eliminated as a result.

At the beginning of the episode, both teams were told to take their personal belongings (and nothing else) with them to Exile Island. There, they received new buffs and merged into a new tribe, which they later named Bula Bula (Fijian for "hello hello").

The tribes headed back to Moto's beach, which had been totally gutted in their absence. Instead of a bed and couch, all that remained in the cave was a pot, a machete, and some fishing gear.

The stinky men of Ravu -- who were still covered in body paint from the Reward Challenge several days earlier -- were especially miffed that they wouldn't get to use Moto's shower. In fact, Mookie, who had been on Ravu since the beginning of the season, never even got to see Moto beach in all its luxurious glory.

But the Ravu men had work to do. Dreamz confirmed that Cassandra was still on his side, Alex did the same with Stacy, and Mookie talked to Yau-Man. Boo, who had no real alliance with anyone, was universally agreed upon as the next person to vote out.

In a foolish burst of honesty, Mookie tried to cement the bond between Ravu's "Four Horsemen" by telling Dreamz that he possessed one of the Immunity Idols. All that did was make Dreamz miffed that he hadn't been told sooner -- and make Alex and Edgardo question Mookie's intelligence.

There was no way that Dreamz was going to be able to keep that secret from his best pal, Cassandra.

So Alex and Edgardo amended the voting plan. Instead of voting off Stacy right after Boo, they'd keep her around and make an alliance of five, voting Dreamz off if necessary.

At that point, Mookie and Dreamz realized that they needed to get rid of Stacy, or else Alex and Edgardo would likely keep her (because she hasn't seemed like a challenge threat) instead of them into the final three. Plus, Dreamz didn't even like Stacy, after how rudely she'd treated him and Cassandra during their days on the original Moto tribe.

Before everyone could cement their voting strategies, it was time for the Immunity Challenge. When the tribe arrived, Jeff Probst instructed everyone to reach into a bag and grab a colored rock. The orange and green rocks split the tribe into two temporary tribes of five members each.

During the challenge, the two mini-tribes would be competing against one another. The winning tribe won Immunity and a steak dinner. The losing tribe would head straight to Tribal Council, without any time to talk strategy.

The mini-tribes were:
Green -- Michelle, Mookie, Dreamz, Stacy, Alex
Orange -- Edgardo, Boo, Earl, Yau-Man, Cassandra

This tribe setup meant trouble for Michelle, should her team lose. Though she hadn't even been mentioned as a target earlier, she was suddenly on her own with three of the "Four Horsemen" and their pal, Stacy.

Both tribes paddled to three buoys and collected bags of puzzle pieces. Then they paddled back to the beach to assemble the puzzle according to a pattern they'd memorized earlier.

The Green team fell behind early, and even a late surge once they'd gotten to shore couldn't save them. The Orange team went to dinner, and the Green team went to Tribal Council.

The contestants gave non-committal answers to Jeff Probst's questions about how they planned to vote, until Alex said he didn't have any reason to get rid of Stacy, Mookie, or Dreamz. In other words, he was voting for Michelle, and he was letting the others know for whom they should vote.

At that point, Dreamz said he'd really come to trust Alex. (The only question was whether that trust in Alex stronger than Dreamz's hate for Stacy...)

When they finally voted, Alex and Stacy wrote down Michelle's name, and Michelle voted for Stacy.

It looked like Michelle had a shot at staying when Mookie -- thinking about his earlier conversation with Dreamz, and not his loyalty to Alex -- voted for Stacy as well.

Unfortunately, Dreamz was on his own wavelength. His trust in Alex (or, more likely, his not sussing out how Mookie planned to vote) won out, and he wrote down "Mechelle."

As Jeff Probst read the final vote, Michelle (who probably expected to go) looked calm. Dreamz and Mookie, on the other hand, started to panic.

Dreamz evidently hadn't figured that both Michelle and Mookie would be voting for Stacy, and he was frustrated at having missed the opportunity to vote off his nemesis. And Mookie realized that he'd put too much faith in Dreamz. Now Mookie had showed himself to be disloyal to the "Four Horsemen."

I found the twist to be totally unnecessary, and absolutely awful to endure. It was impossible not to empathize for Michelle who, through no fault of her own, wound up on a tribe that was sure to get rid of her.

For one episode, the "temporary tribe" twist rendered all the strategies and interpersonal dealings of the previous twentysomething days moot. It's not fun for the viewer to feel that sad and frustrated for someone like Michelle, so I hope that the producers avoid this particular twist in future seasons.

Michelle, for her part, remained upbeat. At this stage in the game, most people are voted off through deception, and at least she had time to prepare herself. "I think I've just affirmed that I know what kind of person I am and that I know what I'm capable of, and that I'm...just as strong as I thought. Hee hee."

Next time, Mookie confronts Dreamz about his vote and gets annoyed with Cassandra. And Dreamz does the thinkable and tells Cassandra and Earl about Mookie's Immunity Idol.

DwtS 4, Week 4: Results Show

Leeza & Tony looked and sounded prepared for bad news tonight -- and with good reason. The fabulous fifty-year-old and her partner were the latest couple eliminated from Dancing with the Stars.

After the judges' very direct comments last night, Len Goodman clarified that the judges didn't want to put any of the couples down; they just wanted to help them reach their potential. For an example of some of the good dancing that's happening in the competition, Len asked for an encore of Joey & Kym's Paso Doble -- their second encore in a row.

Big & Rich were the first live act of the night, and they performed their hit "Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)." DwtS pros Cheryl, Tony, Edyta, and Alec dressed as cowpokes and used some of the same choreography that earned Cheryl an Emmy nomination when she and Drew Lachey had performed to the song during Season 2.

Hosts Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris had promised a surprise during the Results Show, and the surprise ran onto the dance floor during the middle of Big & Rich's song. Drew came out on stage, and he and Cheryl danced together for a couple minutes. The number ended with Drew dancing alongside all four of the pros.

As Drew caught his breath, Tom asked him if he had any advice to offer this season's contestants. Drew said, "Listen to what the judges say. They know what they're talking about." He joked that Len owed him money after the show for saying that.

Then the camera cut to the backstage waiting area, where Samantha interviewed some of the couples. Clyde was a bit defensive when Samantha asked if the competition was harder than he'd expected it to be: "It's not that hard. It's a lot of fun. Remember, we're invited guests, so you treat people that you invite very nicely, judges."

That is exactly the wrong kind of attitude to have. Clyde is not there at the invitation of the judges; he's a contestant -- and a contracted employee of ABC, just like everyone else on the show. He's not treating DwtS like the competition or job that it is, and that's probably why his dancing isn't getting any better.

Further limiting the chances of a renewed commitment to training, Clyde said that he's flying to China tonight. Billy Ray Cyrus admitted to having scheduling difficulties of his own, as new episodes of Hannah Montana start filming tomorrow: "Talk about jugglin' some balls, Clyde."

Then, Tom introduced footage of last night's studio audience offering their opinions. Alfonso Ribeiro said that Clyde needed to "come alive." And if there's one thing that Carlton Banks knows, it's dancing.

After that, the first two safe couples were announced: Billy Ray & Karina and Apolo & Julianne. During Samantha's interview with the couples, Karina echoed Billy Ray's earlier comment and said he was going to have to "juggle those balls the best way he can." (That turn of phrase struck Joey, who was standing nearby, as especially funny.)

In an attempt to get away from the bawdy humor, Apolo said he and Julianne would be "juggling schedules."

Still backstage, Samantha confirmed a rumor that's been circulating about her, recently. She's pregnant with "a little baby dancer," the first for her and her husband, Michael. Karina was standing right next to the microphone and let out an ear-piercing squeal of delight.

The highlight of the night was a Samba performance by professional dancers Andrei Gavriline and Elena Kryuchkova. They won the International Latin division on this year's America's Ballroom Challenge. They're exciting to watch, and I was glad that I didn't have to wait until the next edition of ABC to see them dance again.

Big & Rich came out for a second performance, and they were accompanied by pros Brian & Julianne, who danced a lovely Rumba.

The performance was followed by a short lesson from the judges called "Anatomy of a Great Dancer." Fast feet and strong legs are necessary because, as Len said, "the hip action comes as a direct result from the foot and leg action." Carrie Ann said that flips are possible because of a strong abdomen, and not because of a strong back.

Tight shoulders indicate that a dancer is nervous. And the arm movements are what make one dance style distinct from another. "Drama comes from the head motions," said Carrie Ann. I plan on watching for a few of these points during next week's Performance Show.

Then, Laila & Maks and Clyde & Elena were announced as the next two safe couples. To say that I was surprised about Clyde & Elena was an understatement.

Another video package focused on the decisions and pressures the pro dancers face every week. New choreography has to please both the judges and the fans. Julianne said, "If we make a bad decision on our wardrobes, it can affect the whole dance." And Elena said the pros must walk a fine line between "training or over-training" their celebrity partners.

Finally, Leeza & Tony and John & Edyta were announced as the two couples in the Bottom Two.

When Tom announced that Leeza & Tony had been eliminated, both smiled and nodded, looking as if they'd expected to go.

Leeza barely got to say, "Thank you to my Tony," before Tom had to usher them onto the dance floor. It's unfortunate that the producers put Tom in this position, especially since he's worked with Tony for three seasons. To not even allow Tony to respond to Leeza is shameful.

As "Miss You Like Crazy" played, the couple was surrounded with hugs from their fellow competitors.

Next week, the remaining couples take on the Rumba and Samba.