Rock Star: Supernova -- Reality Episode Week 5

Zayra was as surprised as the rest of us when she survived another elimination on last week's Rock Star. So how does she plan to reward Supernova's faith in her at this week's performance show? By turning the poppiest 80's hit of them all, "867-5309," into a punk rock song.

After Phil's elimination, the wannabe rock stars raised a glass to him. According to their comments, Phil was much cooler than he came off onstage. Zayra admitted that, if the band had voted according to their personal taste -- and not based on who they thought wanted to be in the band more -- she probably would've been out.

Later, all of the men hung out in the billiard room bemoaning the fact that fewer men than women now remain, and vowing to show the women just who wears the leather pants in the mansion. Married guy Magni wisely kept his mouth shut during the discussion.

Magni's wife sent him a video from home. Since he left Iceland for California, their infant son has learned to walk. Tearfully, Magni said the video was the fuel he needed to keep competing.

The next day, Jason Newsted stopped by the mansion to coach the rockers on the finer points of performing. As a group, they watched videos of last week's performances, much to the dismay of several contestants.

Patrice knew that "Remedy" was not her finest work and was eager to prove herself this week. Dilana felt that her vocals on "Time After Time" were terrible and actually cried, despite rave reviews from her competitors.

Jill took the harshest criticism from Jason, and several of the rockers laughed at the footage of Gilby running away from her during their performance of "Brown Sugar." As a defense mechanism, Jill wouldn't stop talking and rationalizing. Tired of listening, Lukas and Toby played a game of tic-tac-toe.

Lukas was the first person to find the new batch of songs the following day, and he immediately took all of the sheets off of the wall and brought them out by the pool. Not having to stand in front of the wall and negotiate relaxed everyone, making song selection an easy process.

Josh initially wanted to sing "Higher Ground" by Stevie Wonder, until he realized that Tommy Lee would be playing drums for the song. Josh assumed that Tommy would want to do, in his words a "Hot Red Chili Peppers-style" (sic) version of the song, and he gave the song to Patrice.

As Patrice walked around the house after song selection, Ryan asked how she felt about performing with a rock legend. A tense Patrice told Ryan to quit saying Tommy Lee's name in her presence. Always eager to fight, Ryan told Patrice that this was the first and only time he'd uttered Tommy's name. Patrice backed off, but Ryan still walked away shaking his head and muttering "bitch" under his breath.

House Band rehearsal showed a few of what should be the more disastrous performances tomorrow night. Ignoring Supernova's advice to bring the rock, Josh chose the ska song "Santeria" by Sublime. To make it as un-rocking as possible, he supplied his own beat box effects. If only it were Rock Star: The Fat Boys. Not only would Josh make the band, he'd have a sweet role in Disorderlies 2.

Zayra, likewise ignoring the advice to rock, chose "867-5309 (Jenny)" by Tommy Tutone. As if following a Blondie tune with another 80s hit wasn't bad enough, she insisted on changing the song's rhythm to make it more punk rock. Band leader Paul said, "Zayra has taken everything that was cool about the song and gotten rid of it."

Guitarist Jim suggested that it would show more of her skills if she would just perform a song straight for once instead of always rearranging things. She insisted that a straight performance wasn't her style, and the band caved to Zayra's demands -- content to play the song her silly way, so long as they were also free to giggle.

DWTS Offseason Update: 7-28-06

DWTS at the Emmys
Dancing with the Stars faces off against stiff competition in the Outstanding Reality-Competition Program category at the 58th annual Primetime Emmy Awards. The other nominees are Project Runway, Survivor, American Idol, and The Amazing Race.

Half of the nominees for the Choreography award are dances from DWTS. Tony Dovolani earned a nomination for his Jive to "Wake Me Up Before You Go, Go," and Cheryl Burke earned nominations for her "Thriller" Paso Doble and her "Save a Horse" freestyle routine.

Cheryl talked about her Emmy nominations with the Philippine News. The awards ceremony will air Sunday, August 27 at 8/7c on NBC.

Another Emmy Nominee Speaks
Nick Kosovich, nominated as co-choreographer with Cheryl for the "Thriller" routine, said in an interview with NYUSABDA that part of being Tatum O'Neal's partner was attending AA meetings with her! Nick also confirmed that he'll be returning for Season 3. (Thanks to Raphael Pungin for posting a link to the interview.)

Third Pro Confirmed
Maksim Chmerkovskiy will be joining Cheryl and Nick for another season of DWTS. Apparently, producers wanted to add Max's brother Valentin to the cast of pros, but Val's schedule would not permit it.

Rock Star: Supernova -- Elimination Show Week 4

Space case Zayra seemed like the obvious choice for elimination on this week's Rock Star. Even she thought so. And Supernova admitted that they can't really see her fronting their band. But the band shocked everyone when they sent wobbly-headed Phil home.

After Brooke narrated a brief montage of clips from last night's show, Tommy again praised Storm for her stage dive. Patrice defended her boring performance, saying that she was aiming for consistency.

Dave asked Zayra where she got her performance show space suit, and she said she stole it from his wardrobe. Gilby told Zayra to pick a really heavy rock song next week and avoid any pop numbers.

Phil tried to blame his lousy performance on a weak set of songs to choose from, but Dave pointed to Dana and Dilana for having given strong, stripped down performances.

During footage filmed at the mansion after the performance show, Jill still didn't understand why Gilby was uncomfortable with her dry humping him. Dana was pumped about her performance, but Dilana and Ryan said it wasn't Supernova's job to teach her how to be a rocker. She protested against her good girl image: "I've worn combat boots. I've worn a denim skirt."

Back in the concert hall, Gilby went after Jill again for not absorbing his advice, learned through years of experience. "I played with Heart. Ann Wilson never had to stoop so low as to hump me to get her emotions out." Nancy Wilson, however... total slut.

Gilby also said that the hyper-sexualized female rocker is the kind of cliched thing that you see at a Holiday Inn. Still not willing to accept any blame, Jill said, "but everything's been done in rock n' roll." The band did not appreciate that comment, and Gilby wondered if everything would end in an argument if Jill was a member of their band.

Dana said that she was tired of being picked on, and that she was learning more from her housemates when they kept their mouths' shut. Dilana, who's made several efforts to help Dana, looked hurt.

The encore went to Storm, as predicted. When she lets go, she's a lot of fun to watch -- showing that you don't have to do a Rolling Stones song to channel your inner Mick Jagger. Even the perpetually scowling Lukas smiled during the encore.

The early bottom three, Zayra, Jill, and Josh, were joined at some point during the voting by Phil and Patrice. The final members of the bottom three were as follows:

Patrice - "My Iron Lung" by Radiohead
The guys in the band liked the song choice, which meant Patrice would survive the cut no matter how she performed. But she seemed really comfortable on stage, and she even ventured into the crowd. Hopefully she'll pay attention to how badly Jill's combative attitude was perceived by the band and be a little more gracious next week if she gets criticized.

Zayra - "I'm Not an Addict" by K's Choice
Zayra stuck with her outer space wardrobe, wearing a silver mini-kimono. She toned down her stage antics, and was accompanied only by Raphael on electric guitar. Zayra often has trouble with her diction, and she has moments that make you think she's completely tone deaf. But then, when she gets the chance to pick her own material, she has moments of such power and beauty that I get chills. She's not right for this band, but Zayra could do great -- or terrible -- things on her own.

Phil - "Smoking Umbrellas" by Failure
Phil was totally stunned to be in the bottom three. He should take it as a clue that his head bobbing turns people off. I'm not familiar with this song, but if the way he sang it was how it was supposed to sound, it was a bad choice. It just sounded like he was singing off-key the whole time. Although he couldn't entirely keep his head from bobbling around, he did give an energetic performance.

All three of the performances were pretty good, so it came down to who the band thought was most committed to Supernova. They felt that Phil wanted to win the show more than he actually wanted to be a member of Supernova. Absolutely every one of the rockers, including Zayra, looked stunned that Phil was cut instead of Zayra.

After the show, Patrice said that Phil's elimination was a wake-up call for the rest of the contestants. Rockers who thought they'd come on the show just to promote themselves better keep their bags packed.

Rock Star: Supernova -- Performance Show Week 4

This week's Rock Star: Supernova performance show had a bit of everything. Storm blew everyone away with a song nobody had ever heard of. Dilana became Dilauper. Josh and Patrice treated us to their special brand of soulless white soul. Dana came off as a little unhinged, which worked for her. Live made Ryan come alive. Jill's onstage antics with Gilby drove him to file a sexual harrassment suit against her. And Zayra wore her planet's equivalent of the little black dress: a shiny, blue, rubber jumpsuit.

The show opened with a clip from the reality episode, which showed the contestants hearing a medley of Supernova tracks. Gilby said he was excited that Supernova had gotten to share some of their music with the contestants, who now have a better idea of what kind of music the winner will be performing.

Lukas - "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve
Lukas belted out the song with his signature growl, and this week, he strapped on a guitar -- though it was more prop than instrument. Tommy said the version was heavy, but it sounded like the original to me. Jason still wishes Lukas would "open up" his throat when he sings.

Zayra - "Call Me" by Blondie
It was hard to listen to Zayra and not be distracted by her skin-tight space majorette outfit. Once she warmed up, her vocals were pretty good -- for Zayra. As bad as she is, she has improved each week. Dave, in an attempt to encourage her, I think, told her to get started on her solo career right now.

While Zayra is a pretty girl, every time Brooke stands next to her, all of Zayra's flaws are magnified. If I was her, I'd fight to make sure I was never the last performer before a commercial break.

Dana - "About a Girl" by Nirvana
Dana went acoustic for this song, the second performer of the night to wield a guitar. She finally figured out how to make her voice sound gritty. Dave was complimentary: "You are finally looking damaged enough to be a rock singer. There's nothing worse than a... well-balanced rock singer."

Patrice - "Remedy" by the Black Crowes
Patrice performed with all of the enthusiasm of someone who's been performing the same set of covers in Vegas for 20 years. Dave said, "I'm getting bored," and encouraged her to change up her performance a bit. When Patrice asked Dave if he followed his own advice, he responded that he already has a job; she doesn't.

Toby - "White Wedding" by Billy Idol
This song is great raw material for a talented singer. Toby did the song justice. He's starting to really look like he could front a heavy band, interacting with the crowd and the House Band. Jason said that this was his favorite performance from Toby thus far.

Magni - "Heroes" by David Bowie
Yet another guitar-playing contestant. The band wanted more energy from him, but admitted that his vocals were flawless. Magni defended his choice to stand relatively still behind the mic stand as the best way to pay tribute to an amazing song.

Ryan - "I Alone" by Live
Ryan was criticized last week for looking like he wasn't having any fun on stage. So this week, he came out angrier, yet looser, than ever, and it totally worked. The band was impressed.

Jill - "Brown Sugar" by the Rolling Stones
Jill couldn't stop grinding on Gilby, and he called her out for it. He said that, when women in rock resort to overt sexuality, "it's cheap and it's weak." Newly single Dave said, "If it was my band, we'd be grinding for hours on end."

Phil - "One Headlight" by The Wallflowers
Phil's spastic head movements are still his biggest problem, and even Tommy worried that people might not be able to watch 90 minutes of Phil's bobble-headedness. I get motion sick after watching him for two minutes. If he ever becomes famous, someone needs to make an Immobile-Head Doll in his likeness.

Dilana - "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper
Dilana sat on a stool, accompanied only by Jim on guitar, and drew the whole audience into her performance. She sounded wonderful whispering the verses of the song, although she went back to typical Dilana during the chorus, making the offer to "catch you" sound more like a threat. As the band praised her, she graciously brought Jim back out for a bow.

Josh - "No Rain" by Blind Melon
It was a flat, passionless performance that left Jason shaking his head. If Josh winds up in the bottom 3 again, he's dead meat.

Storm -"Anything, Anything" by Dramarama
She was the only contestant who even knew this not-quite-a-hit from the mid-'80s, but there was no way anyone could've performed this better than she did. Near the end of the song, Storm chucked the mic in the air seconds before she dove into the crowd. She'll be getting the encore tomorrow night.

Early Bottom 3:
Josh
Jill
Zayra

Of the other contestants, Phil and Patrice are the most likely candidates to dip into the bottom three at some point during the voting.

My vote went to Storm. She finally showed what she was capable of, and her skimpy, but not slutty, outfit showed how ripped she is.

Rock Star: Supernova -- Reality Episode Week 4

Last season's songwriting clinic produced tragic results for the eardrums of Rock Star fans. Mercifully, Supernova contestants wrote songs significantly better than the Ty Taylor debacle, "Stop Go." However, my two-year-old niece also writes songs better than "Stop Go," and she's stealing lines from the Wiggles.

The day after Jenny's elimination, Gilby Clarke informed the contestants about the songwriting clinic. They'd be split into three teams, and each team would come up with lyrics and a melody to accompany a track otherwise written and performed by Supernova.

Dilana, Toby, and Magni, the winners of the first three encores, were named team captains. The captains picked their teams, with Lukas being chosen first overall. Pop princess Dana was left for last.

Dilana's all-star team of Lukas, Ryan, and Storm listened to the track and got right to work, banging out the chorus in a matter of minutes. But their progress was stymied when Lukas lost focus and left the room in a futile search for beer.

Toby, Phil, Patrice, and Zayra were making progress until Patrice accidentally erased their copy of the track. But by then they'd already settled on what they thought was the key to their success -- singing through a megaphone. It worked for J.D. last season.

The only team with a chemistry problem was Magni's crew. Jill started to suggest lyrics immediately, while Magni insisted that they listen to the track a few times first. When she said that wasn't the way she liked to work, Magni responded, "I honestly don't give a rat's ass."

Josh played peacemaker, going after Jill when she left the room. But it was Dana's ideas for the chorus that finally got them working together as a group. Magni correctly guessed that he was the only one who'd actually written with a band before.

The members of Supernova dropped by the house the next day to listen to the teams' songs. Tommy Lee was most impressed by Dilana's team after they performed their rocking melody. Toby's team created a more eclectic sound that the Supernova described as "quirky" (rarely a compliment--Crispin Glover is also "quirky") but "entertaining." And Magni's group produced the best harmonies, and the band appreciated their gospel-like sound.

The clinic was not a true contest, so there were no winners. And the only prize for participating seemed to be a few clues as to what direction the band planned to take. Tommy said the band would be veering away from bluesy sounds. Supernova played some of their other tracks for the contestants, and the music sounded poppier than anything the members had played in previous clips.

At song selection the next day, contestants found a note from Gilby which stated that he'd be playing guitar on "Brown Sugar" by the Rolling Stones. After some deliberation, it was decided that Jill would perform with Gilby.

Whenever Rock Star contestants want to show their tough side, it seems they sing a Nirvana song. This week, Dana fought for the Nirvana song, "About a Girl." The rest of the girls fought for Blondie's "Call Me." Zayra was able to persuade the others that it was her only way to stay out of the bottom 3.

The only rehearsal footage shown was of Jill with Gilby and the House Band. When Jill suggested changing the song's key to something better for her voice, Gilby joked with her, "You singers kill us." Almost inevitably, a key change makes the singer sound better and the guitars sound worse. But, since the show is about singers, Gilby sucked it up and consented to the change.

DWTS Offseason Update: 7-23-06

The Big Announcement
On August 15, ABC will announce the cast for Dancing with the Stars 3 on Good Morning America.

At her website, Cheryl Burke confirms that she will return to defend her title with a new partner.

Rock Star: Supernova -- Elimination Show Week 3

On this week's Rock Star: Supernova, three of the shows least rockin' performers landed in the bottom three. Josh and Dana fought to stay on the show, while Jenny seemed resigned to elimination. The band rewarded her unenthusiastic effort by sending her home.

At the mansion after last night's performance show, Dana complained that the Supernovans were picking on her, and she asked the other women what she was doing wrong. Dilana told her to get dirty, "open your legs" onstage, and don't worry about being pretty. Alongside Storm and Dilana, Dana watched a video of her "It's My Life" performance. Dana admitted that she finally saw why the band had been tough on her.

In another room, Ryan, Toby and Lukas also watched Dana's video. They weren't impressed. Ryan said that Dana was good but didn't belong on this particular show.

At the elimination show, Dana asked Ryan why he hadn't said that to her face. He responded that he had told her not to sing the Bon Jovi song, but that she ignored him.

After Ryan and Dana sorted out their differences, the band asked Magni to give an encore performance of STP's "Plush." His gigantic glasses also showed up for the encore.

Host Brooke reminded viewers that Dana, Jenny, and Ryan were the performance show's early low-vote getters. As the evening of the performance show wore on, Josh and Zayra also spent time at the bottom. As always, the final bottom three was revealed one at a time, just before each performed.

Jenny - "Vaseline" by Stone Temple Pilots
With her skull belt buckle and knee high socks, Jenny looked a lot like Avril Lavigne. Unfortunately, producer Butch wasn't around to appreciate it. Jenny took the stage with slumped shoulders, as if she expected to be eliminated. Jenny jumped around and tried to rock, but the song didn't suit her, and Supernova scowled during the entire performance -- not a good sign.

Dana - "High Road Easy" by Sass Jordan
This was obviously not the first time she performed this song, and she was much more comfortable than she had been during any previous perfomrance. She really saved herself by choosing a song she knew she could rock. Her voice was on, and her confidence boosted her stage presence.

Josh - "Heart-Shaped Box" by Nirvana
The vocal coach totally messed with Josh's head by telling him not to move his jaw from side to side. He's stopped opening his mouth at all, and has been singing with his teeth clenched. He did his best Kurt Cobain impression during this song, which should send the band the message that Josh can sing soul or karaoke, and nothing in between.

After the performances, Tommy called himself "Hatchet Man" and hemmed and hawed and whined that eliminating people sucks -- exactly like he did in the previous elimination shows. This week, he mixed in some Jaws sound effects, making the elimination process even more drawn out and uncomfortable than it needed to be.

Dana was told she was safe. And then Jenny was given the boot. Tommy told her, "You just didn't cut it, baby. It's okay."

Jenny was gracious in defeat and said that the show taught her not to always make safe choices. She felt that being a part of the process "was the best slap in the face" she'd ever gotten.

Rock Star: Supernova -- Performance Show Week 3

On this week's Rock Star: Supernova performance show, Dilana, Lukas, and Magni continued to cruise. A Runaway Train derailed Toby a bit. And Zayra turned a sickening, saccharine R.E.M. song into something that was (Am I really typing this?) pretty good!

Patrice - "Helter Skelter" by The Beatles
Patrice's affected Texas twang spilled through into the song, which at least distracted me from her highlights. She sang fine, but she's just not my kind of performer. I can't shake the suspicion that she'd come off better in intimate clubs than she does over the airwaves.

Josh - "Come As You Are" by Nirvana
For some reason, Josh thought that an acoustic rendition of the song would show his edgy side. By singing out of one side of his pinched mouth, he sounded just like Tracy Chapman. The members of Supernova were not impressed.

The problem with Josh is his desire to be the next White Guy With Soul. There's a long tradition of wanna-be-soulful white guys: The Blues Brothers, Michael McDonald, Steve Winwood, Rick Astley, and last season's Ty Taylor. Unfortunately, America recently crowned its newest White Guy With Soul when Taylor Hicks won American Idol. You're a few months too late, Josh.

Storm - "Just What I Needed" by The Cars
Storm still couldn't get the Broadway out of her voice. This tendency will probably put her out of the running for the job. Tommy's performance advice for Storm was that she should wear less clothing, because he'd like to see more of her. Tommy's compulsive need to remind everyone that he is VERY HETEROSEXUAL is almost as grating as Tom Cruise's. At least Cruise has been in hiding lately, while he pretends to be a father.

Lukas - "Let's Spend the Night Together" by The Rolling Stones
Lukas didn't heed any of the voice coach's advice about not singing from the throat. But he does have charisma for a guy with skunk hair. And Gilby liked the goth arrangement after all.

Jill - "All Right Now" by Free
Jill wore some unfortunate porn star lipstick, but did an admirable job with a song that has always lacked a certain punch for me. After her second strong performance in a row -- last week's elimination show and tonight -- Gilby said, "Finally, I can imagine us behind you." In his mind, Tommy pumped his fist and said, "You got that right. She's like a tiny Pam."

Ryan - "Fortunate Son" by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Yeeeaaaahhhh, man! CCR! Too bad Ryan was totally bland. Gilby said Ryan didn't look like he was having any fun while he was performing. Ryan responded that it was time to clear up the misconception that he never smiled. He lowered his mic, looked at the camera, and smiled for ten seconds. Funny, but probably not enough to keep him out of the bottom three.

Phil - "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane
Jason joined Phil on stage to play bass for the song, where Phil got in the way of a Newsted head bang and received a split lip. This was Phil's best performance so far, but that's not saying much.

Dana - "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi
Dana has consistently given off the vibe that she'd be the most rocking counselor at a Baptist summer camp. She needs to go home, and I think she will. Soon.

Toby - "Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum
Another lame song, and it zapped Toby of his cool Toby powers. Dave took a nap during the song, and I wanted to do the same.

Magni - "Plush" by Stone Temple Pilots
With his hideous oversized sunglasses, Magni was trying to be either Icelandic Bono ("Feed the hungry!") or Icelandic Elderly Man ("Look out, Farmer's Market!"). This is kind of a dumb song too, but Magni has magnetism. And tight jeans. I think I saw mini-Magni. (His Magni-toe?)

Zayra - "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M.
Her arrangement turned this into an Enya song, but, for the first time, her La Vida Bjorka voice sounded pretty good. At the end of the performance, she let out some screams that actually gave me goosebumps. In a good way, even.

Jenny - "Drive" by Incubus
Jenny performed a jangly, hippie-girl, indie-pop version of this song that Gilby said was too Lillith Fair, and not enough OzzFest. I like Jenny, just not as a member of this band. Get her on a double bill with Suzie McNeil, and I'm there.

Dilana - "Zombie" by The Cranberries
Supernova probably wishes they could boot everyone else right now and just pick Dilana. She has a cool voice and great stage presence. She's a Hot Topic Stevie Nicks. Even the lighting crew went over the top for her.

It seems like Dilana's got this thing in the bag. But don't forget that, at this time last season, it seemed like there was no way that Jordis could lose. It's too early to hand the job to Dilana, even though she's got a significant edge on the competition.

Best Performances:
Dilana
Lukas
Magni

Worst Performances:
Josh
Dana
Ryan

Early Bottom Three:
Jenny
Dana
Ryan

I wouldn't be surprised if the early bottom three sticks as the final bottom three. My vote went to Magni. His experience and confidence will help him to improve each week, hopefully peaking when he's in the final three.

Rock Star: Supernova -- Reality Episode Week 3

Fears of picking the wrong song have turned the contestants on Rock Star: Supernova into a bunch of desperados. Looks like Lukas isn't the only villain living in the Hotel California.

Of course, Lukas had to start this week's reality episode by blurting out something he shouldn't have. As the rockers raised a toast to the ousted Chris, Lukas said that, were he in Supernova, he would've eliminated someone else.

The band's only other two elimination options this past week, Zayra and Jill, didn't appreciate Lukas's statement. Jill asked a question wondered by many: "Why can't he just keep his mouth shut?"

Lukas finally did just that the next day, at the rockers' first clinic. While waiting for his turn to sing in front of vocal coach Liz Lewis, he fidgeted nervously and quietly with his beard.

Reluctantly, he snarled the Heart song "What About Love," and Liz told him exactly what Jason Newsted did last week: Lukas is ruining his vocal chords. Coming from a professional voice coach, rather than a has-been bassist, Lukas seemed to take her warnings more seriously.

Dilana emerged from the clinic as the singer with perhaps the greatest potential. She started her lesson insisting that her range was limited. But when Liz forced her to sing in a higher key, Dilana was delighted to hear that her voice sounded stronger and more beautiful when she wasn't growling.

The following day, friendships were tested during this week's song selection. Josh was the first to spot the posted songs, and he decided on his favorite before telling the others that the songs were up.

When everyone entered the room, Toby said that he'd keep a tally of who was interested in each song. But Josh declared that he'd be taking "Come As You Are" by Nirvana. When Dana -- probably the only contestant who would do a worse job with the song --tried to negotiate with him, Josh sat on the sheet music.

Following Josh's lead, and ignoring Toby's requests that everyone adhere to his list system, Patrice grabbed the music for "Helter Skelter" by The Beatles. Jill, who'd been deciding between that song and a few others, confronted Patrice about her aggressive act.

As they argued, Patrice played both aggressor and victim. First, she held up a finger and asked Jill, "Were you passionate about it?" as if her desire for the song gave her more leverage to pick it over any other contestant. Then, after going on the attack, Patrice informed Jill that her perception of events was simply a misinterpretation.

Jill said that their conflict wasn't about the song but Patrice's refusal to negotiate. Jill said, "I don't need to do it [the song]."

Interpreting the comment as a dig, Patrice shot back, "Don't think I need to do it, 'cause you know I don't."

As Patrice walked away, Jill yelled, "Maybe you do. That's why you're so 'passionate' about it."

In rehearsal with the House Band, Zayra came up with a goofy arrangement for her song, "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M. As she described what she wanted, Jim the guitarist said, "What you're describing sounds like an orchestra."

Zayra casually replied, "That's fine."

Jim pointed out the obvious: "We're not an orchestra."

Things didn't go much better for the band during their rehearsal with Lukas. He tried to improve "Let's Spend the Night Together" by the Rolling Stones by adding some Marilyn Manson-type loop effects to it.

The Band members all shrugged an went along with it, but keyboard player Paul predicted a bad outcome for Lukas on performance night. Apparently, Gilby Clarke is a huge Rolling Stones fan and won't appreciate the way Lukas tampered with one of that band's classics.

Rock Star: Supernova -- Elimination Show Week 2

Somehow, the tone-deaf, vocally-challenged, combative Zayra survived this week's elimination episode of Rock Star: Supernova. Maybe the band likes her chutzpah. Maybe the producers (like me) think she makes for good car-wreck TV. Or maybe it was because it was her first trip to the bottom three. Whatever the reason, bland Southerner Chris -- in the bottom three for the second week in a row, despite his awesome perm -- got the old heave ho.

The episode began with footage from the mansion, which was filmed immediately after the performance show ended. Lukas, Chris, and Jill were defensive about the negative comments they'd received from the band. However, Toby reminded them that it was in their own best interests to act on Supernova's advice, since they are the ones who will ultimately choose the winner.

When asked about the footage and their comments from the performance show, nearly every contestant was conciliatory, if not obsequious. But Zayra wouldn't back down from her statement that the guys in Supernova had their heydays when she was still an infant.

Gilby asked Zayra if she felt it was important to be familiar with the Supernovans past albums. Zayra explained, "I am familiar, but you asked if I owned anything." She elaborated that, growing up in Puerto Rico, she couldn't afford to buy whole albums. She was only able to afford 45RPM record singles. Gilby nodded and smiled with the smug satisfaction that comes only from knowing you once amassed a huge fortune by taking every last dime of disposable income from the pockets of young Puerto Rican girls. I know that smile; I've worn it myself.

Toby gave an encore performance of "Somebody Told Me" that was just as good as the night before. Then it was time to announce which performers landed in the bottom three.

Jenny was the only other person to spend time at the bottom besides the three singers -- Zayra, Chris, and Jill -- mentioned as the early bottom-feeders at the end of last night's performance show. Eventually, Jenny's vote totals went back up, and the original bottom three became the final bottom three.

Jill - "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence
It was smart to do a song that Zayra butchered last week. Jill did a much better job with it, and Zayra didn't look amused during the performance. This is the Jill we've waited to see. She set the bar super high for Zayra and Chris.

Zayra - "You Really Got Me" by The Kinks
She liked her own arrangement so much, Zayra decided she wanted a chance to improve on her first performance. She actually did do a better job, not that it could've been much worse. She added a few hysterical screams that managed to stay in key, and she added some spastic upper body movements as well. She showed that she might have the potential to be more of a performance artist than even Dilana.

Chris - "If You Can Only See" by Tonic
If this was authentic Chris, I think I want inauthentic Chris back. His eyes were squinting and reopening out of sync with one another, and his mouth looked like a hole punched through a piece of sad, wet clay; his face looked like it was melting. But he actually did a decent job singing. It was the best we'd heard from Chris, so at least he got to end on a high note.

After deliberating with his bandmates, Gilby commended Jill on her voice, Zayra on her performance, and Chris on his willingness to act on their comments. After a brief pause, Tommy told Jill what the rest of us already knew. She was safe this week.

Despite Chris's efforts to change in order to please Supernova, Tommy told Chris that he "didn't cut it" and was the second rocker eliminated. Zayra returned to the other contestants and celebrated by sitting in Phil's lap and lying on Magni.

Dave told Chris that tonight's performance was his best, and each of the guys made a point of encouraging Chris. But like the band said, Zayra does put on a heck of a show. That was reason enough to keep her around for another week.

Rock Star: Supernova -- Performance Show Week 2

On this week's Rock Star: Supernova, some contestants broke out after their first week jitters. Others reconfirmed that they're just plain bad. Non-North Americans Magni and Toby had big turnarounds, while stateside schlubs Chris and Phil continued to struggle.

Because CBS had to fit 14 performances in an hour-long show, there was no filler at the top of this week's episode. Brooke Burke sent us right to the music.

Magni - "My Generation" by The Who
Wonderful job! He's showing some of the charisma that's made him a hit in Iceland. His singing was dead-on, and he showed how one can have great stage presence without flailing about. If he keeps this up, he's going to be a force throughout the competition.

Jenny Galt - "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell
Ooh, she gave the song a really creepy arrangement. Better than last week, but she needs to control the vocal vibrato. She looks like a rock 'n' roll Heidi Klum.

Jill Gioia - "Violet" by Hole
She stole Courtney Love's schtick by wearing a wedding dress and holding a bouquet -- not a good move when your judges actually know Courtney. Jill claimed it was her own interpretation, but Dave Navarro pointed out that Courtney sported a wedding dress and roses on her album's cover.

As uncomfortable as Jill's Courtney Love impression was, it wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as Tommy Lee asking Jill if she was wearing anything under the dress. Mercifully, the network cut out Dave Navarro's further speculation as to what he thought he'd seen under the dress. For a full recap from someone who attended the live taping, go to the "Backstage Spoilers" section of Television Without Pity's Rock Star forum.

Zayra Alvarez - "You Really Got Me" by The Kinks
Zayra is not good. She dresses like Milla Jovovich in Ultraviolet, and she doesn't know what to do on stage, not to mention with her voice. It's hard to watch her competitors laughing during her performances.

But Zayra is my hero because of what she said after her performance. When Gilby accused her of not knowing what the band was looking for, she said, "That's because you haven't told us what you want." When the band asked if she even owned any of their albums, she retorted that those albums were released when she "was still in diapers."

Chris Pierson - "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand
He's like a decent karaoke singer in your local bar. Dave Navarro said, "It's like I'm watching a winner of a charity contest." Dave also told Chris that his performance lacked authenticity.

Chris's lack of experience showed tonight. Magni was able to adjust the mic stand while singing, without missing a beat or looking away from the audience. When Chris tried to do the same, he knocked the stand over. Not the move of an experienced frontman.

Dilana - "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash
Dressed like a vampire, Dilana rearranged the song so that it sounded like Johnny Cash mixed with a slowed down version of Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir." She owns every performance she gives, and that's something that can't be taught. Along with her honesty in the reality episodes, it's easy to see why she's a fan favorite.

Josh Logan- "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed
He's wearing a flannel shirt and bleached jeans. What decade does he think this is? I hate this song, and he's not helping it. He does so many vocal runs, trills, and ad libs, he belongs on Idol, not Rock Star. Dave told him not to overdo the affectations, but I can't see that happening.

Phil Ritchie- "If You Could Only See" by Tonic
He's wiggling so much that it's almost enough to distract from his crappy singing. While Tommy seems to have a serious crush on Phil, Jason Newstead said, "I have to close my eyes to enjoy your voice."

Storm Large - "Surrender" by Cheap Trick
The crazy eyes are back. But she's so into her performance that it's fun to watch her. And her voice and conviction did justice to the song. Dave told her to control her Broadway tendencies: "Have character, don't be a character."

Patrice Pike - "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana
Kind of corny. She looks like the woman in the allergy medicine commercial who can't perform without her pills. Uninspiring, but solid. She belongs in small clubs, where she'll have a long career as a local favorite somewhere.

Lukas Rossi- "Don't Panic" by Coldplay
He'd be wise not to choose any more slow songs because there is nothing pretty about his voice. Jason warned Lukas that, by constricting his voice, he could be doing long term damage to it.

Ryan Star - "Jumpin' Jack Flash" by The Rolling Stones
He strained to hit a lot of the notes--not because they were out of his range, but because he was trying so hard to seem like he was rocking out. Not as good as last week.

Dana Andrews- "Born to Be Wild" by Steppenwolf
She wore a bustier, surely to her parents' dismay. She's bubbly and country, which means she'd do very well on Nashville Star. So much so, it's mind boggling why she would want to be on this show instead. She's not rock enough to be here, even if she does wear leopard print.

Toby Rand - "Somebody Told Me" by The Killers
It's Charlie from Driveshaft! He got off the island! Where was this guy last week? He's got a strong, clean voice and tons of energy. I'd buy his version of this song from MSN.

At the end of the show, the early bottom three were Jill, Chris, and Zayra. At this point, the people who don't perform like they mean it are in the most danger.

Best Performances:
Magni
Dilana
Toby

Worst Performances:
Zayra
Chris
Phil

Despite her giving one of the worst performances in Rock Star history, my vote went to Zayra. Having the courage to stand up to the band earned her another chance.

Rock Star: Supernova -- Reality Episode Week 2

Big news from CBS. Rock Star: Supernova has changed nights, due to the poor performance it put up last week against So You Think You Can Dance and America's Got Talent. Performance shows will now air on Tuesday nights at 9 EST, and Elimination episodes will air Wednesday nights at 8 EST.

If this week's reality episode is any indication, there will be at least a few awful performances -- not exactly what CBS was hoping for to turn the show's fortunes around.

After Matt's elimination, the rockers raised a toast in his honor at the mansion. Phil recognized that he survived elimination because of his song choice more than his performance. Only half-jokingly, Ryan told Phil, "We don't know how you're still here."

Chris felt that his own continuing presence was deserved, and then told Lukas that Phil probably wasn't long for the competition. Privately, Lukas said that Chris had better do more to show why all of his self-confidence is warranted.

Dilana wasn't sure that being picked for the season's first encore was entirely a good thing. She feared that early favoritism might earn her enemies in the mansion, and she wasn't comfortable with the added pressure -- a surprising change from the fearless performance she gave.

When it came time for the second round of song selection, contestants took the task much more seriously than they did the first time. Phil became nervous when he only recognized three of the fourteen possible songs.

Zayra wanted to sing "Violet" by Hole, until she heard Jill practicing the vocals. Since she didn't know the song particularly well, and Jill did such a good job just practicing it, Zayra traded songs with Jill.

The song Zayra wound up with, "You Really Got Me" by The Kinks, was just as unfamiliar to her as the Hole song. It showed during rehearsals with the House Band. About Zayra's rehearsal, house band leader Paul said simply, "It's really bad."

Chris felt sure that he'd erased all memories of his wretched rendition of "Roxanne" with his performance of "L.A. Woman." But Paul said that Chris wasn't out of the woods yet. Paul repeatedly tried to teach Chris the melody of his song, "Take Me Out" by Franz Ferdinand, but Chris was never able to correctly repeat the melody back to Paul.

Eager to show her versatility, Dilana decided to rearrange Johnny Cash's classic "Ring of Fire" as a ballad. The House Band tried to get into the spirit of the rearrangement, but predicted that Dilana will either get all of the audience votes or none at all.

Dilana was aware of the risk she was taking. "It could be the death of me."

And emphasizing just how long people's memories are, she said, "It could be my 'Roxanne'."

Rock Star: Supernova -- Elimination Show Week 1

Matt was the first singer eliminated from Rock Star: Supernova, giving the audience a better idea of what Supernova will ultimately sound like. Here's a hint: they won't sound like Duran Duran.

The episode began with a look at some of the footage from the web episode -- and some questions about last night's performances. Dave Navarro asked Chris if he regretted picking "Roxanne," to which he foolishly answered, "No."

New footage filmed at the mansion after the performance show further indicated that Chris may be a little delusional. In an interview snippet, he said,"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't one of the best singers in the world." There are probably several hundred platinum-selling artists who would disagree.

Later that evening at the mansion, Lukas put Dana on the spot by asking her to name the singers she thought deserved to be in the bottom three. When Matt turned the question back on Lukas, he wouldn't answer, only saying, "A lot of you sucked."

After the footage, we returned to the live footage. Dave asked Lukas to finally spill his bottom three. Lukas picked Chris, Dana, and Jenny.

The Supernovans then announced their favorite performance from the previous show. They picked Dilana to do an encore of "Lithium."

Brooke asked all of the contestants who were in the bottom three at some point during the previous night's voting to stand. Chris, Phil, Magni, Matt, Zayra, and Ryan were all asked to rise.

Brooke announced that the final members of the bottom three would be allowed to perform songs of their choosing. Here's who went, and how they did:

Chris - "L.A. Woman" by The Doors
The song showed the limits are of Chris' voice. He has no high range -- it's like he's doing a poor Ian Astbury imitation. But it was an improvement over "Roxanne."

Phil - "Stars" by Switchfoot
Phil has no charisma. The way he carries himself makes it look like he's made of Jell-o, and he sounds like he just came from the dentist. He slides to hit every note. Time to go back to the chem lab, Phil.

Matt - "Planet Earth" by Duran Duran
He obviously was surprised to be in the bottom three. He sang the slowest song of the night, which usually doesn't go over well with the voting public. Duran Duran was a weird choice, but Matt had rearranged the song to make it heavier.

Unfortunately, the band just looked confused during the performance. Too bad Butch wasn't around to stick up for Duran Duran. Matt sounded really good, but he might be better suited for a band like The Killers.

When it came time to eliminate someone from the competition, Supernova immediately sent Phil back to the group, because Tommy's a fan of Switchfoot. Then, Tommy stressed the importance of song selection and eliminated Matt.

To Matt's credit, he was so gracious in his farewell speech that he made Tommy feel awful for having kicked him off of the show. Tommy should feel bad, because he booted the only one of those three who can consistently sing well.

So now we know that the men of Supernova lack any sense of humor (or irony), and -- despite their protestations that their band is not metal -- anyone who picks a song that does not at least qualify as hard or classic rock is in serious jeopardy. Good luck to Matt. He's better off without these chumps anyway.

Rock Star: Supernova -- Performance Show Week 1

Rock Star's second season officially kicked off tonight, and host Brooke Burke was as scantily clad as ever. Evidently, co-host Dave Navarro spent most of the winter looking up Brooke on the internet. Ah, how we've missed Dave's creepy banter.

Brooke explained that voting would begin immediately after the evening's final performance, and that, like last season, the three performers receiving the fewest fan votes would be up for ejection on tomorrow night's results show. Then, it was onto the performances:

Storm Large - "Pinball Wizard" by The Who
It's hard not to sound silly singing this goofy song, but she's got a strong voice. She'll be around for a while.

Ryan Star - "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls
He's going for the troubled guy vibe, so it'll be nice to see him break out of that at some point, because he's got tons of potential. Solid vocals by Ryan and a nice song arrangement by the House Band.

Toby Rand - "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" by Bob Dylan
He had the band play acoustic, which just put a spotlight on his constant vocalizations and scatting. It was like he couldn't stand to let a second of music go by without vocals. But the band's producer, Butch Walker, said that Toby's got the kind of voice that records really well.

Patrice Pike - "Somebody to Love" by Jefferson Airplane
She did a great job interacting with the House Band. It looked like she was gonna make out with Raphael. Very strong performance.

Magni - "Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones
A little underwhelming. His Mick Jagger impression looked more like drunken stumbling. Even the band looked like they'd expected more from Magni. But points for draping himself all over Brooke as she sent the show to commercial.

Zayra Alvarez - "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence
She's got an awful, nasal quality to her voice, and she sounded out of breath the entire song. Zayra's pretty enough that Jason Newstead proposed marriage to her, but that's the closest she's gonna get to being a member of the band. You can be top groupie and never get a sniff of the stage.

Jenny Galt - "This Is How You Remind Me" by Nickleback
She'll stick around, but she needs some better songs. She wasn't sure on the notes, but she's got a poppy, airy quality to her voice that's pretty and interesting. And she can can play guitar without looking at the chords. Hopefully she'll get another shot.

Josh Logan - "She Talks to Angels" by The Black Crowes
He has no look and did a total vocal imitation of Chris Robinson. There's only one Mr. Kate Hudson, pal, and you ain't it.

Matt Hoffer - "Yellow" by Coldplay
He really knows how to engage an audience, and his voice was up to the task--without sounding like a Chris Martin impersonation. It's too bad that the song's pace was a bit slow compared to the rest of the songs tonight. He should do great next week.

Dilana - "Lithium" by Nirvana
She's scary. And she sounds like she swallowed razor blades. That said, she's kind of captivating. And scary.

Dana Andrews - "I'm the Only One" by Melissa Ethridge
The resident Southern belle should've avoided this song like the plague, since it's such a cliched choice for female performers on shows like this. And she's young enough that she hasn't learned how to control her voice yet. She may be a few years away from lead singer status.

Phil Ritchie - "Cult of Personality" but Living Colour
He sounded ridiculous and looked like a nerd trying to look tough -- kind of like when Ryan Gosling was on Young Hercules. It was an embarrasing performance.

Jill Gioia - "Piece of My Heart" by Janis Joplin
This is the third Janis Joplin impression of the evening (after Patrice and Dana). I hope she picks something really different next week. She's got killer pipes and good stage presence, so let's see if she can reach her full potential.

Chris Pierson - "Roxanne" by The Police
Wow, this was terrible. The normally stoic Jason laughed at him throughout the performance, and Gilby told him he stunk. Butch criticized him for doing a bad arrangement of the song.

Lukas Rossi - "Rebel Yell" by Billy Idol
The House Band ruled! The song was a great choice by Lukas, who nailed the vocals and was controlled chaos onstage. It was the best performance of the night, rivalling some of the best from last season.

Best of the night: Lukas, Ryan, and Storm.

Worst of the night: Chris, Phil, and Zayra.

Not the best, but deserving of another chance: Jenny, Patrice, and Matt.

My vote goes to Lukas. If he doesn't get tomorrow night's encore, I'll be shocked.

Rock Star: Supernova: Preview & Week 1 Web Episode

Rock Star: Supernova's first televised episode airs tomorrow night, but the season's first web-only episode is already online. Here's a look at all of the contestants, along with a recap of the first web episode.

The Dudes
Chris Pierson - A moody, introspective singer from Atlanta who bears an unfortunate resemblance, both vocally and physically, to pretentious Creed frontman Scott Stapp.
Josh Logan - New Hampshire native who thinks that Pearl Jam, Bon Jovi, Stevie Wonder, and Tupac Shakur constitute an interesting and diverse group of musical influences.
Lukas Rossi - Canadian who wears more makeup than anyone else in the mansion. But he's worked with Alex Lifeson of Rush, so he can do whatever the hell he wants.
Magni - An Icelandic pop star who, like all Icelandic pop stars, only needs one name.
Matt Hoffer - A Chicago boy who can go back to being a rockin' real estate agent if this whole rock 'n' roll thing doesn't work out.
Phil Ritchie - Maryland native who looks as un-metal as you can get, even with his requisite chin spinach.
Ryan Star - Hails from Long Island, New York and uses the clever stage name R.Star to hide the fact that he's got the same name as a former American Idol contestant.
Toby Rand - Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Oi, Oi, Oi!

The Babes
Dana Andrews - Georgia girl with a Marie Osmond vibe (a little bit country).
Dilana - Tough chick from South Africa with lots of tattoos and, like Magni, only one name.
Jenny Galt - Sweet Canadian girl who looks too nice to be hanging around the likes of Tommy Lee.
Jill Gioia - Shrimpy New Yorker who has a pair of shoes named after her.
Patrice Pike - Texas gal who looks like the bad girl version of Nicole Jamrose from Nashville Star.
Storm Large - Yes, that is her real name.
Zayra Alvarez - Native Puerto Rican who performs in English and Spanish.

The first online episode of Rock Star: Supernova found the contestants observing a jam session by the band members in a recording studio. Tommy Lee greeted the contestants with a cheerful, "Welcome, kids." Several responded, "Hi, Dad," reminding us of just how creepy it will be when old man Tommy starts hitting on the young ladies.

Immediately, Tommy and bandmates Gilby Clark and Jason Newstead asked for volunteers to make up lyrics for their new track and sing them in front of the group. Like students in a Physics class, everyone looked at the ground, assuming that if they didn't make eye contact with Tommy, they wouldn't have to go first.

Eventually, Chris offered to go first, earning him points with the band and his competitors. He yarled a chorus and verse without embarrassing himself. Tiny Jill went next and showed that one need not be large to have powerful pipes.

Zayra revealed herself as the contestant likely to be voted off first with her bizarre in-studio attempt. Dressed like early-80s Rick Springfield, she sqwaked goofy lyrics like, "This is the way we rock and roll, baby. This is the way we like it." Gilby said he was confused by her performance, while Jason simply shook his head.

Everyone else performed admirably, except for Ryan. He refused to even try, claiming later that it was a strategic move--though it seemed more borne of self-consciousness. However, the band viewed it as a lack of commitment to the project, putting him at a serious disadvantage.

The contestants checked out the mansion, which is the same as last season (as is the show's theme song, "New Sensation" by INXS). People picked out their roommates and bedrooms, but Ryan was left out of the process. His refusal to participate in the studio session isolated him socially from the other contestants. He wound up in the last available bed, in a room with a couple of the other guys.

When it came time for song selection, several of the disputes were settled through arm wrestling and rock-paper-scissors contests. Chris foolishly chose "Roxanne" by the Police, only to discover that the vocals were out of his range. Many of the songs available were repeats from last season.

If last season was any indication, Ryan could be this season's ringer. He was practicing the Goo Goo Dolls' "Iris" as the episode closed, and he sounded pretty good. Last season, JD Fortune was a social outcast in the mansion, before being chosen as INXS's lead singer. Jill looks like an early favorite as well, with the right brand of pretty vocals and grungy screams.

Don't think for a second that the women don't have a shot in a band of high-testosterone headbangers. Supernova's producer, Butch Walker, has written and produced for Avril Lavigne and Pink, so he's used to working with female vocalists. And if the band members really want to do something different than what they've done in the past, the easiest way is by hiring a female singer.

Zayra's in the most trouble, based on her studio performance, and Chris could be in trouble as well if he can't get a handle on his song. Voting starts immediately following tomorrow night's TV premiere and will remain open for four hours. Go to the official Rock Star: Supernova website to cast your vote online.

The Browns Are Back in Town

After being eliminated last week, the Brown family returned to Treasure Hunters and actually did something quickly for once. They found their artifact first and sent the Hanlons back to Texas.

Without explanation, the contestants started the episode in Boston, even though they finished the last leg in Montana. The Grad Students tearfully announced that they'd be leaving the race to spare Jessica's knee further injury, after her stumble last week.

The next morning, the teams learned that the Browns would be replacing the Grad Students. The contestents' newest clue instructed them to find the old Burke School in Chelsea, MA. Five teams decided to follow Boston natives the Southie Boys; team Air Force and the Fogal family headed in different directions. However, Air Force reached the school in first place, while the Fogals got lost.

Old Burke was a creepy, abandoned school with graffiti on every wall and Revolutionary War facts written on a chalkboard in one of the classrooms. In one room, graffiti read, "Look until you can see no more." For some reason, this hint prompted the Air Force team to focus on one of the facts on the chalkboard, which mentioned "the shot heard round the world." They headed out to find the location of the shot, just before all the other teams, except the Fogals, were arriving at the school.

The real clue was actually graffitied on the classroom's walls in glowing ink. Though none of the teams currently at the school had seen the graffiti hint, Kid Hanlon decided to turned off the room's lights. Written in glow-in-the-dark paint on the wall were the next two clue locations: Old Newgate Prison and Wentworth House.

Teams were forced to pair up. Each team in the pair headed to a separate location, and then compared their clues over the phone.

As the six teams at the school paired up, the Fogals called the Geniuses for directions. Francis the Genius told them that his team was lost as well. The six teams split up, with three teams driving to each location, and leaving the Fogals and Team Air Force to fend for themselves.

Eventually realizing they'd missed a clue inside of the school, Air Force drove back to Burke. Upon figuring the clue, they called the Fogals, a team they'd helped on previous tasks. They told the Fogals to skip the school and drive to Old Newgate Prison, while the Air Forcers made their way to Wentworth House.

Ex-CIA, the Hanlons, and the Southies went to Wentworth House, where they were instructed to look for a hollow bullet with a message inside, an old soldiers' trick for concealing information. The bullets were under a board in the floor. Each message had only half of the information needed for it to make complete sense--the corresponding messages from the prison would complete the clue--though it did hint that the teams should head to the Old North Church. In case you didn't know, many things are "Old" in Boston.

Air Force arrived at the House just as the other three teams were leaving. They then deduced that the other six teams were all working against them and the Fogals, so they rushed to find their clue and called their partners.

Because they'd been so off-target searching for the school, the Fogals were actually closer to Old Newgate Prison than anyone else. They found their hollow bullet in the old copper mines underneath the prison, with flashlights providing their only light.

Combining clues, the Fogals and Air Force concluded that they needed to go to the cemetery by Old North Church and look in a clocktower for lights. The Revolutionary code "One if by land, two if by sea," would determine where they needed to go next.

The remaining teams found their clue under the prison and called their partner teams to collaborate. The Hanlons were already resentful of the Browns readmission to the game and refused to work with them, making fake static noise over their cell phone. But the Browns were able to get the correct information from other teams and drove to the Old North Church.

In the cemetery, teams saw two lights in the tower, which meant they were to catch a ferry to Boston's famous lighthouse, Boston Light. The teams raced to Pemberton Pier to get tickets for their ferries, which would leave the following morning.

The ferries were to leave in fifteen-minute intervals, and each ferry could carry a maximum of two teams. The teams who arrived later--the Geniuses, Miss USA, the Fogals, and the Browns--negotiated with the faster teams to share ferries. Unfortunately for the Browns, the Hanlons refused to share their ferry, meaning the Browns would arrive at the lighthouse last.

At Boston Light the following morning, teams had to unlock boxes to find this episode's artifact. However, they weren't given any clue as to the four-digit combinations of the two locks on each of their boxes. The contestants from the first two ferries--Southie Boys, Geniuses, Miss USA, and ex-CIA--unsuccessfully tried numbers associated with the Revolutionary War, until one of the Geniuses noticed many small white stones laid out on the ground in what seemed to be a pattern.

From atop the lighthouse, Charles the Genius realized the rocks formed Roman numerals. The first four teams helped each other unlock their new artifact, an engraved box. Before leaving the lighthouse, they made sure to relock each cluebox before the third boat--with Air Force and the Fogals--arrived.

Air Force and the Fogals unlocked their artifacts just before the Hanlons arrived. Kid Hanlon went to the top of the lighthouse, while Dad and Uncle Hanlon searched the lighthouse museum for clues.

The Browns arrived on the island, and at the top of the lighthouse, Kid Hanlon apologized to Tonny Brown for the scene at the dock. Tonny accepted, and both guys made their way down the lighthouse with the Roman numeral combinations.

Although Kid Hanlon got the combination to his team first, none of the Hanlons knew what the Roman numeral 'L' stood for. The Browns, who knew that 'L' stood for '50,' opened up a box to find that one of the earlier teams had capriciously replaced the artifact with a rock.

Once they realized that the Browns had sussed out the lock combinations, a desperate Dad and Uncle Hanlon tried to look over the shoulders and under the legs of the Browns as they entered their combinations. The Browns played successful defense, eventually finding a box with an artifact, and the Hanlons wound up being eliminated.

Though I'm still not sold on the show, this episode was an improvement over previous weeks. We still know next to nothing about the teams, but this episode had some competitive tension. Teams are still mentioning the sponsored products throught the show, but it's easy to tune out the brand names after three weeks. The only things that are still annoying are the Genworth Financial ads/clues that are photoshopped into certain scenes. Since the teams never seem to notice them, it's obvious that they were added later, making the show look a little amateurish.

Next time, teams search for an artifact in New York, and the Fogal girl freaks out in a swamp.