DwtS 3 -- Results Show Week 6

As expected, the celebrity eliminated from tonight's Dancing with the Stars was... nobody.

The show started with recaps of the couples' post-dance confessionals. Louis fulfilled a promise he made to the judges, listing all of the Samba moves he'd included in his routine with Monique. Feeling that the judges were scoring the female celebrities more harshly than the men, Monique vowed to add more gimmicks next week, such as starting the routine seated in a chair while Louis dances around her.

She must have forgotten just how far Tucker & Elena got with that act.

When it came time to award the encore, the judges gave it to the couple with the highest score last night: Mario & Karina.

I must have drifted off to sleep during the encore, because I surely dreamt the next part of the show: Lionel Richie performing "All Night Long," as Tony, Elena, Max, and Karina danced a Samba.

But I wasn't dreaming -- it was real! The dancing was absolutely fabulous, and Nick Kosovich, who designs the male professionals' costumes, took the open-chest shirt to new extremes for Max and Tony.

At the end of the routine, Max hugged Lionel Richie. Lucky Lionel.

After the performance by Iraq's favorite pop star, Samantha spoke with some of the celebrities backstage. She asked Mario if he was nervous about having to learn two new dances next week, and she seemed surprised when he said yes. Mario said, "I'm always nervous, and I hope the others are, too, so that it levels the playing field."

Then, Samantha, who must have a familiarity with the cast that doesn't translate to television, awkwardly danced her way to Jerry, calling him, "The Jer-meister."

Jerry pointed at Samantha as she moved and said, "That was how I danced last night." When asked if he hoped to move on in the competition, Jerry said, "If I make it through to next week, I'm gonna demand a recount. This has been great. Thanks for having me."

Then it was time for the Performance Show's studio audience to weigh in. Everyone who mentioned Monique's routine felt the need to demonstrate their own krump moves. Eva Longoria, who's becoming as ubiquitous as Lisa Rinna, said that she felt the judges were unfairly scoring Mario as if he were a pro. Apparently, a 28/30 is unfair.

The coolest celebrity in the audience last night was Dennis Haskins, better known as Mr. Belding from Saved by the Bell. He said, "As Mario's former principal, I give him an A."

After that clip package, the first two safe couples were announced: Mario & Karina and Monique & Louis.

Then it was back to the dance floor for a special performance by Nick and his wife, Lena Kosovich. Not only was she his professional partner, but she co-designs the dancers' outfits with Nick.

They danced to "The Show Must Go On" by Queen, and the singing quality reminded me that Freddie Mercury was one of a kind. Nick's shirt seemed fairly conservative until he bowed low at the end of the dance. Boom! Manly Chest Explosion.

As swooning women everywhere recovered, Samantha caught up with the two safe couples backstage. She told Monique, "You've got to be feeling pretty confident."

Monique said, "Not at all! I'm just so happy to be here."

And Mario attributed his success to having "the best dancer in the world for my teacher."

Then it was time for an update on the Slim-Fast Challenge contestant, Tysonia. Tysonia danced the Cha Cha at her daughter's high school. We'll need an update next week on the damage that her mom's dancing did to her daughter's social life.

Lionel Richie was back to sing his new song, "I Call It Love." Lionel's decided that the best way to update his sound for a new audience is to use electric drums. Those laser beam sound effects sound just as futuristic now as they did in 1975: "Pyew, Pyew, Pyew!"

Lionel's trip back in time was followed by a segment about the show's costumes. Costume designer Randall Christensen and his crew have only four days to get all of the costumes ready for each show. "On one lady's costume alone, we can easily put over 15,000 rhinestones," Randall said. "And those have to be individually placed, one at a time."

And the stars really do have input into their costumes. "The colors, I leave up to Cheryl," Emmitt said. "But the style is up to me."

On performance day, necessary adjustments are made to ensure the outfits work: from gluing and taping dresses to the body, to sewing microphone packs into secret locations. Kym said, "I don't even want to begin to tell you where I've had microphones on my body."

Keeping with the body theme, body language expert Jo Ellen Dimitrius was brought in to analyze the stars' behavior. In front of the judges, she observed, Mario holds his head down in fear. Monique blinks rapidly because she's nervous, and Joey licks his lips -- a lot. Emmitt touches his belt in an attempt to ground himself, and Jerry tries to put his hand in his pocket and hide.

Dimitrius said that, come elimination time, we see "the real Mario" -- intense and focused on moving on to next week. Monique looks down at the ground, hiding, while Emmitt and Jerry hold their heads up, "looking for the answer." Joey stays calm and doesn't move, "because he realizes he has absolutely no control over what happens."

Next week, the couples will have to perform two individual dances. Lest the added stress lead to arguments, Len advised the cast, "Try to imagine you're two people in a rowboat, and you have to work together." To Jerry, he added, "Remember the KISS method -- Keep It Sweet and Simple."

Tom and Samantha then began delivering the fates of the remaining three couples. Emmitt & Cheryl were safe, leaving Joey & Edyta and Jerry & Kym in the Bottom Two. As the show went to commercial, Jerry waved and mouthed "good-bye" to the camera.

After the commercial, the elimination theme played, and Tom said, "The couple with the lowest score, and therefore leaving right now... Neither of you."

Joey looked around confusedly, and Jerry collapsed on the stage. Joey had to perform fake CPR and help him up.

Samantha explained that the judges' scores from this week will be added to next week's scores, and that the audience votes from this week will be added to next week's audience votes to determine who goes home next.

Tonight's result put Joey and Jerry on notice for next week. That was good news for Jerry, who seems to eager to get home, relax, and watch the show on TV.

Since Sara & Tony didn't get a proper send-off, Tom introduced a package of Sara & Tony clips. All of the couples then danced to a reprise of "The Show Must Go On," as the credits rolled.