Rock Star: Supernova -- Performance Show Week 6

Gilby Clarke and Tommy Lee should've easily stolen the show with their special performances on this week's Rock Star: Supernova. But, once again, that honor went to Zayra's wardrobe, of which the most mundane article was an enormous top hat.

The show began with footage from the reality episode, with special emphasis placed on the contestants' reluctance to perform with Gilby. Dave Navarro said that, if he could, he'd give Dilana the job right now just because she was the only one who pursued the chance to perform with a Supernovan.

Dilana - "Won't Get Fooled Again" by The Who
With her hair back and makeup toned down, Dilana is a very pretty girl. That won't hurt her chances. Dilana did a fine job singing, but the song arrangement plodded along. Gilby added some weak backing vocals, prompting Supernova to eliminate him from the band. But the band was impressed by Dilana, and Gilby said she had erased any doubts about whether a woman could front the band.

Jill - "Mother Mother" by Tracy Bonham
This song stinks, so it did Jill no favors. But she the made the most of her hair extensions, swinging her head around like...well, like a girl pretending to front a heavy metal band. Jason Newsted said that she lost the power in her voice by running around like an idiot.

Ryan - "Paint It Black" by The Rolling Stones
Ryan upped the theatrics this week, sporting a hoodie with a horse mane on the hood and wearing black eye makeup. Trying to make a Zayra-like spectacle of the song, his ridiculous look distracted viewers from his vocals. Honestly, I can't remember how well (or poorly) he sang. When Tommy called the performance "interesting," Dave retorted, "That was the shit and you know it!" Maybe it was great in person, but on TV the performance looked stupid. However, like Zayra, Ryan gets credit for mixing things up.

Storm - "We Are the Champions" by Queen
This song has made plenty of competent singers look terrible, but Storm totally held her own, turning out the best non-Freddie Mercury version of the song I've heard. She's gotten better with each week, and she's the only woman who poses a credible threat to Dilana. Tommy said that he was afraid the band had spooked her from doing her crazy eyes, but Storm promised to "spank the crap" out of Supernova next time. She then laughed maniacally until the commercial break.

Zayra - "All the Young Dudes" by Mott the Hoople
Holy crap. Wearing the tightest gold lame catsuit in the universe, Zayra looked like a crazy carnival barker in a top hat and the tallest platform heels I've ever seen. Her vocals were even pretty good, as she'd rearranged the melody to display her voice to best advantage. Magni even accompanied her on guitar.

Dave said that, if this were Rock Star: Planet Pluto, Zayra would win for sure. The rest of the guys were a little skeptical about her vocals, but she said he was happy with her performance. And her outfit.

Josh - "Interstate Love Song" by Stone Temple Pilots
Josh got a surprise when Tommy decided to play drums for the song. Josh sounded fine, but he spent the entire song rocking from side to side like a pendulum in front of his mic stand, as he played guitar. Tommy said the guitar "froze up the funk." Dave said that while Josh was good, good might not be good enough at this point in the competition.

Magni - "The Dolphin's Cry" by Live
This is the lamest song in the history of rock n' roll*, but more on that later. Magni shushed the crowd before playing a solo acoustic version of the song. He sounded great, and his baby boy listened from the crowd wearing an enormous pair of headphones. Gilby said Magni's perseverance while living apart from his family was an inspiration to everyone.

* - If you like this song, head butt the person next to you right now to earn back some of your rock credibility. A song about sobbing cetaceans is the kind of thing a 10-year-old girl would write if she could put out an album. It would be a nice accompaniment to songs like, "(I Wanna Go To) Piercing Pagoda," "Pony Slumber Party," and "You're Not My Real Mom!"

What's even worse is that writing bad rock songs about sappy social and environmental themes is hardly a new idea. White Lion did it almost 20 years ago with songs like "When the Children Cry" and "Little Fighter!" The only reason it was okay when they did it was because it was the late '80s and they had a Danish lead singer. Live has no excuse.

Patrice - "Instant Karma" by John Lennon
There's something about Patrice that always feels a little anemic unless her energy is cranked to eleven. This was another underwhelming performance, made more awkward by her plastered-on cheerleader smile. The band gave her a pass because they appreciated her song choice.

Lukas - "Creep" by Radiohead
Hey, Lukas can actually sing. And I even understood the words. This was the right performance at the right time to save Lukas from falling out of contention. Jason was especially pleased; this is what he's wanted to see from Lukas since the beginning.

Toby - "Burning Down the House" by Talking Heads
Thankfully, Toby didn't try to do a David Byrne impression. His straight rock version made me appreciate the song even more. He couldn't resist the lure of the of the megaphone, handed to him on stage by a cloaked Zayra. To make the megaphone gimmick more interesting, he wrapped it in an Australian flag and ended the song with one of the megaphone's sound effects. Dave told Toby that he was good enough without the props.

Toby may want this more than anyone else. It's just too bad he wasn't on last season, because there's no way that INXS would've let him go. And it's nice to see Toby, Magni, and Zayra helping each other out. It's like all of the foreign exchange students hanging out together at school.

Early Bottom Three:
Jill
Zayra
Patrice

Josh is the only other one who should be in any trouble, although Ryan could wind up in the Bottom Three if his equine goth look wigged people out.

My vote went to Storm. "We Are the Champions" is such a hard song to sing, and she deserves tons of credit for doing it justice. But I'm guessing the encore goes to Lukas.