A Wonderful Collage Do-Hickey

Filler material dominated the second to last episode of Nashville Star 4. All of the remaining contestants performed before it was announced that Nicole Jamrose had miraculously avoided elimination. Matt Mason took the fall instead.

In addition to the usual guest performance that allows me time to prepare a snack (this week was Hank Williams Jr.), Wynonna's prettier, younger sister Ashley came by to give Wy a sorry excuse for an award. In honor of the occasion, Wynonna decided to wear her girdle on the outside of her clothes.

Wy's record label created a video montage of her, which Ashley introduced by mentioning the "obnoxious" 40 million records Wy's sold. When presenting the award, a framed collection of photos of Wynonna, Ashley said, "Here's a wonderful collage do-hickey." I'm sure it was the touching moment the label had hoped for.

All of the contestants returned home this past week to perform at charity events organized by State Farm. It was a particularly special trip for Nicole, who celebrated her appointment as Hospitality Ambassador for Lake County, Indiana with a trip to the state's finest eating establishment, Red Lobster. It's one of the few Indiana restaurants that require both shoes and shirt for service, so you know it's fancy.

Everyone gave good performances, which they should if they're the four best singers. Casey lost points when he went for cheap votes and "gave the glory to God" after performing one of God's biggest hits, "How Great Thou Art." I'd like to know if God gets an equal share of the blame when Casey has an off night.

Inexplicably, Scott Weiland and Duff McKagan served as guest judges. Duff, who is Keanu Reeves's blond doppelganger, deserves props for actually watching the show - he told Nicole her performance tonight was better than last week's.

Scott Weiland was largely unintelligible, uttering more, "ums" than a debate class full of high school freshman. I'm pretty sure I saw his eyes light up when Matt used the word "cocaine" in his song.

Nicole was the first finalist announced, and the ensuing commercial break gave everyone in the theater a chance to utter a collective "What the fuck?" Chris was announced next, followed by Casey. Matt smiled the whole time, sensing that the jig was up as soon as he heard Nicole was safe. But if Wynonna and Anastasia have anything to say about it, this won't be the last we've heard from Matt Mason. Well, it's probably the last I'll hear of him, since I only listen to country when this show is on.

For next week's finale, Big & Rich return as guest judges. Apparently, the cast of Law & Order: SVU was unavailable, since the show usually grasps for every TV network or music label cross-promotion it can get. The guest performer is Cowboy Troy, again because the cast of Law & Order: SVU was unavailable -- except Ice T, but who wants to hear him? Go to the Nashville Star website to vote for your favorite singer and the song you'd like to hear him or her perform next week.