The 10,000 Faces of Charmaine

Two hours of The Apprentice led to a big heartbreak: Lenny was fired. He wasn't the only candidate fired tonight, just the only one that mattered.

NBC aired two episodes of The Apprentice tonight because the show will be preempted next week by the two-hour premiere of Celebrity Cooking Showdown. If Trump's Viceroys -- George, Carolyn, and Bill -- were the celebrity contestants, it might be worth watching.

Lenny's demise came at the end of the first episode, another charity task, this one sponsored by Ace Hardware. As a part of Ace's awkwardly named charity wing, "New Faces for Helpful Places," each team had to renovate a recreation room at a Boys & Girls Club.

Gold Rush, led by Lenny, chose music as the theme for their rec room. At another Club, Synergy used a vague lounge concept to encompass karaoke, board and video games, and a "girls" area, denoted by fluffy pink bean bag chairs.

Michael, Synergy's Project Manager, did everything he could to sabotage his team. His trip to Ace to buy paint took twice as long as necessary because he called Sean for a second opinion on every decision. In later interviews, Sean screamed, "Michael is such a wanker!"

But Synergy earned the victory, because their room had something for everybody. Gold Rush's music room looked stark and uninviting, with several expensive keyboards and electronic drum kits shoved up against a wall. Any kid who didn't have an interest in performing music would feel left out.

Lee tried to coach his buddy Lenny on what to say in the boardroom, asking Lenny what the Ace execs were looking for in the rec room. "Sustainability," Lenny answered. "No," Lee said, "creativity." Lenny replied, "Yeah, sustainability."

Charmaine went after Lenny in the boardroom, even criticizing his choice of red for an accent color. Trump pointed at Lenny and said, "You like red because you come from Russia." Thank goodness Lenny's team vetoed his vodka-vending-machine idea, or Trump would've had a field day.

The Russian was fired without being called back to the boardroom. As he said goodbye to his teammates, he brushed off Charmaine because, "you have 10,000 faces." She walked to the elevator protesting, "I never had 10,000 faces, ever."

Cheer up, Lenny fans. His website features lots of pictures, and shirts designed by Lenny and Lee. Proceeds from shirt sales will go to a charity of their choice; let's hope its the Boys & Girls Club, so they can replace those expensive instruments when the kids destroy them.

As the second episode began, the women of Synergy told Michael that he was lucky they won the Boys & Girls Club task, because otherwise he would've gone home. Charmaine confronted Lee about defending Lenny in the last task, to which Lee responded that his loyalty to his friends is unwavering.

When the new task was assigned the following morning, Michael jumped at the chance to join Gold Rush when Trump offered, portending the team's doom. Leslie volunteered to PM Gold Rush, with Andrea back at the helm for Synergy.

In the second sandwich promotion challenge in as many weeks, teams had to sell 7-Eleven's new pizza sandwich, the P'Eatzza. This disgusting abomination replaces the bread of a turkey sandwich with two cold pieces of pizza. Clearly, 7-Eleven execs didn't read this morning's news on obese Americans. Or maybe they think we're not obese enough.

Andrea ignored her teammates' idea to choose a promotional item that related to the sandwich, insisting that they give away hats. While Trump and the viceroys agreed that the hats were stupid, selling the sandwich for $4 allowed Synergy to increase sales at their 7-Eleven by 997%

Gold Rush gave away a more appropriate mini-cooler with their sandwiches, but priced the cellophane-wrapped-heart-attacks at $7.99. For that kind of money, you could buy a Playboy and still have enough left for a Super Big Gulp.

Lee tried to salvage the situation. He told Leslie of the store manager's concerns about the high price, but she ignored him. Then he tried to negotiate a deal with a local business to buy 1000 sandwiches. His efforts failed, and his team only increased revenues by 608%.

In the boardroom, Leslie elected to bring Lee back in with her and sent everyone else to the suite. Citing the importance of price, Lee said, "Who are the most price-sensitive consumers? College kids and senior citizens."

Trump actually said to Lee, "I thought you were going to say something else." In the course of two episodes, Trump made offensive remarks about Russians and Jews. For an encore, Trump plans to bomb London the week he fires Sean.

By bringing in the only person who advocated lowering the price of the sandwich, Leslie left Trump no choice but to fire her. Leslie's biggest regret was that she was fired on her birthday.

When The Apprentice returns in two weeks, teams must design a promotional piece for a forest preserve. I'm planning on wearing my "Lenny for Governor" t-shirt.